Healing doesn’t happen by accident—it happens on purpose.

In the Season 1 finale of Healing & Shadow Work, Linkie Love and Coach Sheronda L. Barksdale discuss how to turn the desire to heal into an intentional and realistic plan.

Many of us say, “I want to let go,” “I want to stop overthinking,” “I need better boundaries,” or “I want to feel like myself again.” Those desires are valid, but they can feel so broad that we do not know where to begin. The SMART Healing Plan helps us break larger healing goals into manageable actions.

S — Specific: What pain, pattern, behavior, or emotional response are you ready to name?

M — Measurable: How will you recognize progress? Healing does not have to be complete before it counts. Progress may mean recovering more quickly after a trigger, maintaining a boundary, or using a coping skill before reacting.

A — Achievable: Does your goal fit your current emotional capacity, schedule, and resources? The goal is not to become someone who never struggles. It is to recognize what is happening and respond in healthier ways.

R — Relevant: Does the goal support the life you genuinely want, or are you trying to meet someone else’s expectations? Are you healing for yourself—or trying to become more lovable or acceptable?

T — Time-Bound: When will you begin, and when will you review your progress? A timeframe is not a deadline for becoming completely healed. It gives you time to practice, reflect, and adjust.

This episode also explores the importance of grace. Having a bad day does not mean you are failing at healing. You may cry, feel overwhelmed, shut down, or need to rest. Healing does not require you to become superhuman. However, we must ask ourselves whether we are actively using our coping tools, boundaries, resources, and support.

Create your own SMART Healing Plan:

“Over the next __________, I will ______________________________ at least ______ times because ______________________________.”

Your healing plan should challenge you without punishing you. It should provide direction while leaving room for emotions, rest, setbacks, adjustments, and your humanity.

As Season 1 comes to a close, we thank everyone who watched, listened, shared, commented, and joined us for these honest conversations. The season may be ending, but the healing and shadow work continue.

Real talk. Real healing. Real transformation. Let’s do the work—together.

#HealingAndShadowWork #SeasonOneFinale #SMARTHealingPlan #ShadowWork #HealingJourney

In this episode of Healing & Shadow Work, Linkie Love and Coach Sheronda L. Barksdale explore The Art of Surrender: Letting Go Without Giving Up.

What does it really mean to surrender?

For many of us, surrender sounds like defeat. It sounds like quitting, failing, or admitting that we weren't strong enough to make something work. But sometimes the strongest thing we can do is recognize what is outside of our control and stop exhausting ourselves trying to change it.

Surrender isn't weakness. It isn't quitting. It's releasing your need to control things you were never meant to control.

In this conversation, we unpack the difference between giving up and letting go. We explore how trauma, anxiety, perfectionism, hypervigilance, fear of abandonment, and past experiences can create a powerful need for control. When you've learned that being prepared, staying alert, or handling everything yourself keeps you safe, surrender can feel terrifying.

But what happens when the very behaviors that once protected you begin to exhaust you?

We discuss what it looks like when we're holding on too tightly—overthinking every decision, trying to predict other people's behavior, attempting to fix relationships, replaying situations, worrying about outcomes, and carrying responsibilities that were never ours to begin with.

We also explore some difficult questions:

What are you afraid will happen if you let go?

What happens when you accept that you cannot control another person's choices? What does surrender look like when a relationship changes or ends? How do you release guilt about your past? How do you stop forcing something simply because you've invested so much time, energy, or love into it?

And perhaps most importantly: Can you surrender an outcome without surrendering yourself?

Healthy surrender doesn't mean becoming passive. It doesn't mean allowing people to mistreat you, abandoning your goals, or pretending something doesn't hurt. Sometimes surrender looks like establishing a boundary. Sometimes it's accepting reality. Sometimes it's grieving. Sometimes it's trusting yourself enough to walk away. And sometimes it's simply admitting, "I've done what I can. The rest is no longer mine to carry."

Throughout the episode, we discuss practical ways to practice surrender through therapy, shadow work, mindfulness, journaling, prayer, meditation, boundaries, radical acceptance, and honest self-reflection.

Ask yourself:

Is this mine to carry?

Can I actually control this?

Am I fighting reality because accepting it hurts?

What would peace look like if I stopped trying to force the outcome?

What am I ready to release?

Surrender doesn't promise that everything will work out exactly the way you want it to. It creates space for you to stop fighting every uncertainty and begin trusting yourself to handle whatever comes next.

Sometimes healing isn't about holding on tighter.

Sometimes healing is realizing you can finally let go.

Join us for an honest, reflective, and sometimes uncomfortable conversation about control, fear, acceptance, healing, and the freedom that can come when we choose peace over constant resistance.

Healing & Shadow Work
Hosted by Linkie Love & Coach Sheronda L. Barksdale

Heal. Integrate. Transform.

In this episode of Healing & Shadow Work, Larneka Lavalais, LPC-S (Linkie Love) and Coach Sheronda L. Barksdale explore How to Develop Self-Esteem and Self-Love After Trauma.

Trauma can change the way we see ourselves, impact our confidence, and leave us questioning our worth. Experiences such as childhood wounds, rejection, abandonment, betrayal, unhealthy relationships, and loss can create negative beliefs that follow us long after the experience itself has ended.

During this conversation, Larneka and Sheronda discuss how trauma affects self-esteem and self-worth, how to recognize the inner critic and negative self-talk, and how shadow work can help us confront the parts of ourselves we've learned to hide, judge, or reject. They also explore practical ways to rebuild confidence, establish healthy boundaries, practice self-compassion, forgive yourself, and develop a healthier relationship with yourself.

Self-love is more than self-care routines and positive affirmations. Sometimes self-love means choosing yourself, protecting your peace, setting boundaries, keeping promises to yourself, allowing yourself to rest, and no longer depending on other people to validate your worth.

Healing doesn't require you to forget what happened. It's about recognizing that what happened to you does not determine who you are or what you deserve.

Whether you're healing from childhood trauma, heartbreak, grief, rejection, abandonment, or other difficult life experiences, this episode offers encouragement and practical insight for reconnecting with yourself and rebuilding your sense of worth.

Healing & Shadow Work creates space for honest conversations about trauma, healing, personal growth, self-discovery, and becoming more intentional about how we show up for ourselves and in our relationships.

Your trauma is part of your story, but it does not define your worth. 💜