What happens when the things we struggle to say out loud find another way to come out?

In this episode of Healing Chat by Tolicious, Cass Uk sits down with Claire for a personal conversation about healing, shame, creativity, culture and finding the courage to use your voice.

Claire is an academic, artist, spoken word activist, businesswoman and, in her own words, a “big sister on the street.” We explore how these different parts of her identity connect through purpose, storytelling and healing.

Her artistic journey began while completing her doctorate, when she started sketching digitally on her phone during long hours in the library. Creativity soon became a way of preserving stories about African culture, family, identity and women's resilience.

During the pandemic, Claire received a serious health diagnosis and experienced a period of right-side paralysis. She shares how art, music and journaling helped her process an experience that words could not always explain.

“Where words fail, art speaks.”

We also explore one of the most powerful themes in this conversation: shame.

Claire reflects on how shame can keep women silent through trauma, unhealthy relationships, illness and difficult experiences. We talk about choosing yourself, recognising toxic relationships and understanding that self-care isn't the same as selfishness.

Sometimes courage is simply making the decision to leave. Sometimes it is creating something nobody else will ever see. And sometimes it is finally allowing yourself to speak.

“Even if your voice is shaky, speak up.”

• Creativity as a tool for healing
• African culture, identity and family stories
• Art inspired by Igbo culture
• Journaling and private creativity
• Surviving a serious health diagnosis and right-side paralysis
• Why art can communicate when words fail
• Guided creativity and healing
• Self-taught creatives and shame
• Self-care versus selfishness
• Choosing yourself in a toxic relationship
• Why shame keeps women silent
• Finding the courage to use your voice
• The legacy Claire hopes to leave

00:00 Women carrying shame
01:29 Speaking up when your voice shakes
02:01 Claire's many identities
03:00 Discovering art during her doctorate
04:32 African culture and storytelling
05:58 Igbo men, celebration and art
06:28 Family memories and women's resilience
08:09 Culture and creativity through hardship
09:09 God, people and stories as inspiration
10:27 Journaling and private creativity
11:08 Health diagnosis and right-side paralysis
12:04 “Where words fail, art speaks”
12:34 Guided creativity as therapy
14:10 Creative milestones
15:13 Self-taught artists and shame
16:27 Self-care versus selfishness
17:26 Choosing herself through illness and a toxic relationship
18:26 Why shame keeps women silent
19:06 Finding the courage to go
19:32 Leaving a legacy of kindness
20:38 A message for women afraid to speak
20:55 Advice to her younger self

Healing doesn't always happen publicly. Sometimes it happens in the journal nobody reads, the artwork nobody sees, the boundary you finally create or the moment you decide to choose yourself.

Your purpose can still be unfolding, and your voice doesn't have to be perfect before it deserves to be heard.

Healing Chat by Tolicious — created by Cass Uk
Real conversations. Real healing.

New episodes every Wednesday.

What happens after you leave an abusive relationship? How do you rebuild your confidence, identity and life?

In this powerful episode of Healing Chat, host Cass Uk is joined by Dr. Claire Ogah to discuss the hidden realities of domestic violence—from financial abuse and emotional manipulation to healing, self-worth and rebuilding your life.

Together, they explore why self-care isn't a luxury but a necessity, how financial independence can become a lifeline, and why every woman deserves to thrive, not just survive.

If you've ever struggled with guilt, boundaries, shame or starting over, this conversation is for you.

• Domestic violence beyond physical abuse
• Financial abuse & the importance of "She Money"
• Women's financial independence
• The hidden value of motherhood & caregiving
• Healing from emotional trauma
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Rebuilding confidence & self-worth
• Why self-care is survival, not selfishness
• Breaking cultural expectations
• Encouragement for women ready to reclaim their lives

00:00 Why healing conversations matter
00:16 Hidden realities of abuse
00:40 Financial abuse & "She Money"
01:18 Financial independence
01:47 Wellness & empowerment
02:30 Motherhood & caregiving skills
03:24 The value of unpaid work
03:48 Rediscovering your strengths
04:21 Healing after abuse
04:48 Emotional detox & recovery
05:36 Guilt around self-care
05:55 The importance of rest
07:14 Self-care is survival
07:53 Thriving beyond survival
08:12 Creating balance after trauma
08:39 Culture, boundaries & safety
10:08 A message of hope

🌍 Website: http://www.overlaycouture.com/

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/overlaycouture/

📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/overlaycouture

🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@overlaycouture

▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Claireogah

If this conversation has raised concerns for you, please know that help is available.

🚨 Emergency: Call 999

🇬🇧 Samaritans (24/7)
📞 116 123
📧 jo@samaritans.org
🌐 https://www.samaritans.org

👮 Police (Non-Emergency): 101

🏥 NHS Urgent Medical Advice: 111
🌐 https://111.nhs.uk

Healing Chat is hosted by Cass Uk, founder of the award-winning Tolicious, a nurse-led wellness brand.

Every Wednesday we bring honest conversations on mental health, healing, women's empowerment, leadership, entrepreneurship and personal growth.

Real Conversations. Real Healing.

If this episode helped you, please Like, Comment, Share & Subscribe to support the podcast.

#HealingChat #DomesticViolenceAwareness #WomenEmpowerment #MentalHealth #HealingJourney #SelfCare #TraumaRecovery #CassUk #DrClaireOgah #Podcast #WomenSupportingWomen

In this episode, Samantha and I explore the challenging yet essential topics of setting boundaries, saying no, and knowing when to walk away — both in personal relationships and business. We also delve into ADHD, mental health awareness, and the importance of self-awareness in maintaining peace and authenticity.

Key Topics:

• The significance of understanding personal boundaries and confidence to say no
• Common reasons people struggle to decline requests, including guilt and people pleasing
• The impact of burnout and realization in reclaiming personal time and boundaries
• How to gracefully say no by offering alternatives and communicating effectively
• Recognizing the importance of walking away from unfulfilling situations or toxic relationships
• The emotional and practical aspects of knowing when a situation is repairable or needs to be released
• ADHD and mental health: the spectrum, rumors, misconceptions, and the importance of accurate diagnosis
• The effect of societal normalization of mental health labels and the importance of genuine understanding
• Living with ADHD: passions, hyper-focus, and the potential for success in business

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction to boundaries, boundaries without guilt, and self-awareness
01:04 - What is a boundary? Understanding personal limits
01:35 - Why is it difficult for people to say no? Pressure and guilt
02:20 - The impact of burnout and the realization of limits
02:53 - The importance of acknowledging others' boundaries and reciprocation
04:01 - Setting limits: blocking toxic relationships and practicing the art of saying no
05:03 - Practical ways of saying no: offering alternatives and communicating assertively
06:31 - The importance of boundaries in business and personal life
07:11 - Personal experiences with borrowing money and realizing financial boundaries
08:47 - The importance of knowing when to let go and walking away
09:29 - Building and walking away from business ventures: recognizing when resources are lacking
11:06 - Difficulties in walking away from people and how to handle it emotionally
12:39 - The concept of time and space in healing from relationships
13:29 - Deciding when a situation is not worth repair and the importance of self-care
14:11 - ADHD and mental health awareness: misconceptions and conversations
15:06 - The normalization of ADHD and the spectrum of symptoms
16:36 - Personal journey of diagnosis, emotional response, and self-acceptance
18:19 - The importance of understanding ADHD within relationships and communication
19:52 - Living with ADHD: passions, hyper-focus, and entrepreneurial success
22:11 - The role of passion in hyper-focus and business ventures
23:18 - Living abroad and cultural perspectives on neurodivergence

Resources & Links:

• Understanding Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud
• The ADHD Effect: What Researchers and Clinicians Say about Adult ADHD
• Sarah Davies - Entrepreneur and Business Coach

Join us as Brooke Bailey shares her inspiring story of running the Great North Run in memory of her grandfather. This episode explores legacy, family stories, dealing with genetic disease, and how personal goals can serve a greater cause.

Main Topics:

• The significance of Long-standing Family Stories and Legacy
• Understanding and Supporting Motor Neuron Disease (MND)
• The Power of Personal Challenges in Healing and Honoring Loved Ones
• Balancing Parenting, Career, and Personal Goals Amidst Emotional Journeys
• Community and Charity Impact in Personal Milestones

In this episode:

• Brooke introduces her family background and the stories about her grandfather, Henry Bailey
• Discusses her motivation to run for Motor Neuron Disease charity and the importance of supporting research
• Shares her experience preparing for the Great North Run and handling the emotional and physical challenges
• Explores how her journey has deepened her connection to her family’s history and grief
• Talks about balancing her passion for performing and teaching with her personal goals and self-care
• Highlights how honoring loved ones can motivate community involvement and advocacy

Timestamps:

00:00 - Welcome and introduction to Brooke Bailey 00:27 - Brooke’s connection to her grandfather, Henry Bailey 00:46 - Family stories and personal motivation 01:15 - Lessons from her grandfather about hard work and family pride 02:01 - Brooke’s thoughts on her grandfather’s influence 02:33 - Supporting Motor Neuron Disease awareness and charity 03:07 - What is Motor Neuron Disease (MND)? 03:41 - The impact of MND on individuals and families 04:26 - Personal experiences with MND and genetic concerns 04:41 - The charity support and research efforts 05:15 - Children’s reactions and family involvement in the run 06:08 - Significance of the Great North Run for Brooke and her region 06:43 - Training insights and struggles 07:17 - Motivational triggers during training 08:13 - Expectation and preparation for running the bridge 08:39 - Running companions and motivation along the route 09:22 - Reflections on grief for someone never met 09:32 - How the journey has changed her perception of loss 10:11 - Lessons on self-care, balancing motherhood, teaching, and training 10:28 - Passing on family values and passions 12:02 - Advice for others honoring loved ones through charity 12:27 - Future conversations with her children about family and loss 13:07 - Connecting her passion for performance with personal legacy 14:12 - Closing remarks on balancing life and cherishing family memories.

Resources & Links:

• Motor Neuron Disease Association
• Great North Run Official Site

Connect with Brooke Bailey:

• Facebook
• Donate to the cause

Embracing Healing and Growth: A Conversation with Kay McCready. Are you ready to explore a transformative journey from trauma to self-empowerment? In this episode, Kay shares her inspiring story of overcoming police trauma, embracing healing practices, and helping others do the same. Discover practical tips on nervous system awareness, healing as an ongoing practice, and finding your voice in challenging environments.

Main Topics:

• Kay’s personal journey through trauma, mental health challenges, and healing
• The importance of nervous system awareness and daily self-care routines
• How authentic lived experience enhances coaching and healing support
• Practical steps for managing stress, anxiety, and trauma
• The role of believability and trust in personal growth and coaching

Timestamps:

00:00 - Kay Mac’s background and motivation for coaching police officers
02:16 - The crisis point and transformative moments in her journey
03:59 - Building trust and connection with police colleagues through empathy
04:10 - Common patterns in high-achieving but overwhelmed individuals
05:47 - How coaching evolved her self-perception and growth perspective
07:04 - The layered nature of healing and daily practices for ongoing wellness
08:25 - Kay’s healing book and morning routines including breath work and meditation
09:47 - Descriptions of her movement routines like dance and fitness for freedom
10:38 - Misconceptions about healing as a destination, not a continuous journey
11:28 - The decision to write her healing book and accountability influence
12:53 - Her upcoming book and the practice of dictation over writing
13:05 - Focus on personal growth, public speaking, and leadership ambitions
15:06 - Overview of coaching programs: free awareness course and six-week embodiment work
16:49 - The significance of working with the body first before mindset reprogramming
17:19 - Who Kay’s message is meant for — Those ready to heal and grow
18:38 - Advice to her younger self at 10 years in the police force
20:37 - Practical first step for survivors — breath work and nervous system calming techniques
22:30 - How to connect with Kay Mac and continue the healing journey

Resources & Links:

• Kay Mac's Website
• 14-Day Nervous System Awareness Program
• Path to Achievement Program
• [Book in Progress: Personal Healing Journey - Dictate to Publish](Note: Coming soon)

Connect with Kay McCready:

• Linkedln

Remember, healing is not an endpoint but a continual journey of growth, awareness, and authenticity. Tune in, get inspired, and start taking those first steps today.

Healing Chat by Tolicious is created by Cass Uk and hosted today by Samantha Chapman.

In this episode, Samantha sits down with Emily Robertson, founder of Forward From Here and creator of the Ministry of Not Yet framework, to explore why lasting change isn't about willpower—it's about understanding behaviour.

Drawing on her background in occupational therapy, behaviour change, solution-focused practice, and motivational interviewing, Emily explains why our behaviours are often protective rather than problematic. Instead of asking, "What's wrong with me?", she encourages us to ask, "What is this behaviour trying to protect?"

Together, they discuss fear, perfectionism, procrastination, people-pleasing, leadership, entrepreneurship, and the behavioural patterns that influence our decisions at work and in life. Emily also shares her journey from taking voluntary redundancy to building her own business, offering practical lessons on overcoming fear and embracing change.

Whether you're a leader, entrepreneur, coach, healthcare professional, or someone navigating a life transition, this conversation will help you better understand yourself and others.

✔ Why behaviour always has a purpose

✔ Creating the right conditions for lasting change

✔ The psychology behind fear, perfectionism and procrastination

✔ Understanding the cycle of ambivalence

✔ How people-pleasing develops as a protective behaviour

✔ The 10 Ministry of Not Yet behavioural characters

✔ Why resistance is valuable information

✔ Building greater self-awareness in leadership and business

00:00 Introduction

02:10 Personal experiences and behaviour change

03:02 Creating conditions for change

04:15 A real client story

05:37 Understanding ambivalence

06:22 Matching support to the individual

07:20 Leaving employment to start a business

08:34 Fear and life transitions

09:35 Perfectionism and safety behaviours

11:40 Procrastination and visibility

13:47 Building confidence

16:15 Rethinking healing

18:32 The Ministry of Not Yet

19:02 The Traditionalist

20:35 The Permission Seeker

21:30 The remaining behavioural characters

23:47 Recognising your own patterns

24:50 Fear of rejection

26:56 Reframing behaviour

27:30 Solution-focused approaches

28:28 Resistance as information

29:15 Leadership and self-awareness

🌐 Website: Forward From Here

💼 LinkedIn: Emily Robertson on LinkedIn

If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe to Healing Chat by Tolicious, like the video, and share it with someone navigating change, leadership, or personal growth.

#HealingChatByTolicious #CassUk #EmilyRobertson #Leadership #BehaviourChange #Healing #Mindset #Entrepreneurship #PersonalDevelopment #SelfAwareness #Coaching #Wellbeing

The conversation explores the theme of rediscovery after life events, the impact of taking time away, and the process of holding oneself accountable. It also delves into the experience of visiting Cambodia and the emotional impact of historical sites. The conversation then shifts to the concept of releasing shame and accepting responsibility, followed by a discussion on relationships and societal expectations. Finally, it addresses the idea of self-identity and the influence of other people's expectations.

Keywords

self-discovery, personal growth, trauma, forgiveness, societal expectations, life journey, mental health, resilience

Key Topics

The importance of taking time away for self-reflection

Travel as a tool for rediscovery

Healing from trauma and guilt

The role of forgiveness in personal growth

Living authentically beyond societal expectations

Takeaways

• Rediscovery after life events
• Impact of taking time away
• Accepting responsibility and releasing shame
• Influence of societal expectations on relationships
• Self-identity and other people's expectations

Chapters

00:00 Rediscovering Yourself After Life Events

03:08 The Impact of Travel on Self-Discovery

05:51 Understanding Shame and Self-Forgiveness

10:18 Expectations in Relationships

14:13 Who Are You Without Others' Expectations?

19:49 The Complexity of Personal Identity

The conversation covers topics such as dreaming big, education and gender, family support and privilege, belief in dreams, cultural heritage and spirituality, personal growth and change, emotional evolution, and comfort zone and growth. It explores the speaker's experiences, beliefs, and insights related to these themes.

Takeaways

• Dreaming big leads to personal growth and change.
• Comfort zone is a killer of dreams.

Chapters

• 00:00 Dreaming Big
• 06:01 Cultural Heritage and Spirituality
• 13:13 Emotional Evolution