What happens when the things we struggle to say out loud find another way to come out?

In this episode of Healing Chat by Tolicious, Cass Uk sits down with Claire for a personal conversation about healing, shame, creativity, culture and finding the courage to use your voice.

Claire is an academic, artist, spoken word activist, businesswoman and, in her own words, a “big sister on the street.” We explore how these different parts of her identity connect through purpose, storytelling and healing.

Her artistic journey began while completing her doctorate, when she started sketching digitally on her phone during long hours in the library. Creativity soon became a way of preserving stories about African culture, family, identity and women's resilience.

During the pandemic, Claire received a serious health diagnosis and experienced a period of right-side paralysis. She shares how art, music and journaling helped her process an experience that words could not always explain.

“Where words fail, art speaks.”

We also explore one of the most powerful themes in this conversation: shame.

Claire reflects on how shame can keep women silent through trauma, unhealthy relationships, illness and difficult experiences. We talk about choosing yourself, recognising toxic relationships and understanding that self-care isn't the same as selfishness.

Sometimes courage is simply making the decision to leave. Sometimes it is creating something nobody else will ever see. And sometimes it is finally allowing yourself to speak.

“Even if your voice is shaky, speak up.”

• Creativity as a tool for healing
• African culture, identity and family stories
• Art inspired by Igbo culture
• Journaling and private creativity
• Surviving a serious health diagnosis and right-side paralysis
• Why art can communicate when words fail
• Guided creativity and healing
• Self-taught creatives and shame
• Self-care versus selfishness
• Choosing yourself in a toxic relationship
• Why shame keeps women silent
• Finding the courage to use your voice
• The legacy Claire hopes to leave

00:00 Women carrying shame
01:29 Speaking up when your voice shakes
02:01 Claire's many identities
03:00 Discovering art during her doctorate
04:32 African culture and storytelling
05:58 Igbo men, celebration and art
06:28 Family memories and women's resilience
08:09 Culture and creativity through hardship
09:09 God, people and stories as inspiration
10:27 Journaling and private creativity
11:08 Health diagnosis and right-side paralysis
12:04 “Where words fail, art speaks”
12:34 Guided creativity as therapy
14:10 Creative milestones
15:13 Self-taught artists and shame
16:27 Self-care versus selfishness
17:26 Choosing herself through illness and a toxic relationship
18:26 Why shame keeps women silent
19:06 Finding the courage to go
19:32 Leaving a legacy of kindness
20:38 A message for women afraid to speak
20:55 Advice to her younger self

Healing doesn't always happen publicly. Sometimes it happens in the journal nobody reads, the artwork nobody sees, the boundary you finally create or the moment you decide to choose yourself.

Your purpose can still be unfolding, and your voice doesn't have to be perfect before it deserves to be heard.

Healing Chat by Tolicious — created by Cass Uk
Real conversations. Real healing.

New episodes every Wednesday.

What happens after you leave an abusive relationship? How do you rebuild your confidence, identity and life?

In this powerful episode of Healing Chat, host Cass Uk is joined by Dr. Claire Ogah to discuss the hidden realities of domestic violence—from financial abuse and emotional manipulation to healing, self-worth and rebuilding your life.

Together, they explore why self-care isn't a luxury but a necessity, how financial independence can become a lifeline, and why every woman deserves to thrive, not just survive.

If you've ever struggled with guilt, boundaries, shame or starting over, this conversation is for you.

• Domestic violence beyond physical abuse
• Financial abuse & the importance of "She Money"
• Women's financial independence
• The hidden value of motherhood & caregiving
• Healing from emotional trauma
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Rebuilding confidence & self-worth
• Why self-care is survival, not selfishness
• Breaking cultural expectations
• Encouragement for women ready to reclaim their lives

00:00 Why healing conversations matter
00:16 Hidden realities of abuse
00:40 Financial abuse & "She Money"
01:18 Financial independence
01:47 Wellness & empowerment
02:30 Motherhood & caregiving skills
03:24 The value of unpaid work
03:48 Rediscovering your strengths
04:21 Healing after abuse
04:48 Emotional detox & recovery
05:36 Guilt around self-care
05:55 The importance of rest
07:14 Self-care is survival
07:53 Thriving beyond survival
08:12 Creating balance after trauma
08:39 Culture, boundaries & safety
10:08 A message of hope

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If this conversation has raised concerns for you, please know that help is available.

🚨 Emergency: Call 999

🇬🇧 Samaritans (24/7)
📞 116 123
📧 jo@samaritans.org
🌐 https://www.samaritans.org

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🌐 https://111.nhs.uk

Healing Chat is hosted by Cass Uk, founder of the award-winning Tolicious, a nurse-led wellness brand.

Every Wednesday we bring honest conversations on mental health, healing, women's empowerment, leadership, entrepreneurship and personal growth.

Real Conversations. Real Healing.

If this episode helped you, please Like, Comment, Share & Subscribe to support the podcast.

#HealingChat #DomesticViolenceAwareness #WomenEmpowerment #MentalHealth #HealingJourney #SelfCare #TraumaRecovery #CassUk #DrClaireOgah #Podcast #WomenSupportingWomen

In this episode, Samantha and I explore the challenging yet essential topics of setting boundaries, saying no, and knowing when to walk away — both in personal relationships and business. We also delve into ADHD, mental health awareness, and the importance of self-awareness in maintaining peace and authenticity.

Key Topics:

• The significance of understanding personal boundaries and confidence to say no
• Common reasons people struggle to decline requests, including guilt and people pleasing
• The impact of burnout and realization in reclaiming personal time and boundaries
• How to gracefully say no by offering alternatives and communicating effectively
• Recognizing the importance of walking away from unfulfilling situations or toxic relationships
• The emotional and practical aspects of knowing when a situation is repairable or needs to be released
• ADHD and mental health: the spectrum, rumors, misconceptions, and the importance of accurate diagnosis
• The effect of societal normalization of mental health labels and the importance of genuine understanding
• Living with ADHD: passions, hyper-focus, and the potential for success in business

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction to boundaries, boundaries without guilt, and self-awareness
01:04 - What is a boundary? Understanding personal limits
01:35 - Why is it difficult for people to say no? Pressure and guilt
02:20 - The impact of burnout and the realization of limits
02:53 - The importance of acknowledging others' boundaries and reciprocation
04:01 - Setting limits: blocking toxic relationships and practicing the art of saying no
05:03 - Practical ways of saying no: offering alternatives and communicating assertively
06:31 - The importance of boundaries in business and personal life
07:11 - Personal experiences with borrowing money and realizing financial boundaries
08:47 - The importance of knowing when to let go and walking away
09:29 - Building and walking away from business ventures: recognizing when resources are lacking
11:06 - Difficulties in walking away from people and how to handle it emotionally
12:39 - The concept of time and space in healing from relationships
13:29 - Deciding when a situation is not worth repair and the importance of self-care
14:11 - ADHD and mental health awareness: misconceptions and conversations
15:06 - The normalization of ADHD and the spectrum of symptoms
16:36 - Personal journey of diagnosis, emotional response, and self-acceptance
18:19 - The importance of understanding ADHD within relationships and communication
19:52 - Living with ADHD: passions, hyper-focus, and entrepreneurial success
22:11 - The role of passion in hyper-focus and business ventures
23:18 - Living abroad and cultural perspectives on neurodivergence

Resources & Links:

• Understanding Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud
• The ADHD Effect: What Researchers and Clinicians Say about Adult ADHD
• Sarah Davies - Entrepreneur and Business Coach