The technical skills that earned you your promotion are impressive, but leading a team requires a different toolkit.

When high performers step into leadership, it is natural to want to maintain control by "doing it all yourself." However, this often leads to exhaustion and what we call the "Valley of Despair."

In this episode, Patrick sits down with Walter Dusseldorp (The Dutch Mentor) to explore the journey from technical expert to confident leader. Walter shares his mentorship approach, focusing on small, manageable behavioural changes that create lasting results.

You will learn the difference between having a relationship with your team and building a true partnership. Plus, discover the "Parking Lot Experiment"—a simple exercise to help you understand the nature of habit change—and why measuring your progress is the kindest thing you can do for your career.

✅ Navigating the Valley: How to recognise the signs of the "Valley of Despair" and view them as a natural part of your growth curve.

✅ Mentor vs. Coach: Understanding the value of guidance based on deep personal experience.

✅ The 15-Minute Rule: How to sustainably build your leadership skills with just 15 minutes of focused intention per day.

✅ The Parking Lot Experiment: A humble test to help you understand the psychology of changing habits.

✅ Relationship vs. Partnership: Moving beyond simply "knowing" your team to "rowing the boat" together in perfect sync.

✅ Cadence of Accountability: How regular check-ins provide the structure and support needed for success.

❗️Your Ethical Persuasion Challenge ❗️

1. The Parking Lot Experiment: Try a small experiment in habit change. For the next 30 days, park in the spot furthest from the door. It is a simple way to build empathy for how difficult change can be for your team.

2. The 15-Minute Pause: Give yourself permission to stop "doing" for 15 minutes a day. Use this time to learn, reflect, or plan. Prioritising your growth is a leadership act.

3. Define Your Why: To lead others effectively, it helps to know yourself. Take some time this week to write down your personal "Why."

Resources Mentioned:

Guest: Walter Dusseldorp, The Dutch Mentor

App: The Dutch Mentor App (Available on App Store)

Books by Walter: The Happy Leader, Pure Leadership Power

https://www.thedutchmentor.com/about

GIVE AWAY: Free Strategy Call at TheDutchMentor.com

Complimentary Membership Portal: Access exclusive tools and track your learning.

https://ethicalpersuasion.com.au/podcast-member-area-registration/

Patrick’s Social Media Links:

Podcast - https://ethicalpersuasion.com.au/podcast/

Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@ethicalpersuasion

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-van-der-burght/

Facebook - https://web.facebook.com/ethicalpersuasion/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ethical_persuasion/

It's the most wonderful time of the year... but wouldn't it be better if it happened twice?

In this special holiday episode, Patrick van der Burght puts his "Detective of Influence" hat on to solve a fun problem: How do we ethically persuade Santa Claus to double his visits?

Through this playful thought experiment, you'll see the 7 Principles of Persuasion in a whole new light. From calculating the exact amount of milk needed to trigger true Reciprocity (it involves 2,200 Airbus A380s!) to finding Social Proof among other legendary figures, this episode is a fun refresher on the science of influence.

✅ Reciprocity Revisited: Why leaving cookies for Santa isn't a true gift (it's a transaction), and the massive logistical challenge of sending him a real gift first.

✅ The "We" in Christmas: How to use the Principle of Unity by reminding Santa that we co-created our children's upbringing.

✅ Social Proof for Legends: How pointing to the Tooth Fairy (who visits often) and La Befana (who brings sweets) creates a powerful peer pressure for Santa.

✅ Consistency Commitments: Analysing Santa's past statements ("I read every letter") to lock him into a new commitment.

✅ Ethical Scarcity: Using the fleeting nature of childhood and the competition from "screens" to create genuine urgency for handmade toys.

✅ A Call for Authority: A special challenge for Cialdini Certified Practitioners to leave a "trust-building" comment on social media!

❗️Your Ethical Persuasion Challenge (Holiday Edition)❗️

1. The "True Gift" Test: This Christmas, try giving a gift without expectation. No "you have to come to dinner to get it." Just send it. See how it changes the feeling of Reciprocity.

2. Unity at the Table: If family arguments start, switch to "We" language. "We all care about this family." Watch the tension drop.

3. Donate: Use your influence for good. Find a local charity and make a donation to help those who are struggling this season.

Resources Mentioned:

Charity Challenge: Patrick encourages everyone to pick a charity that helps children and donate this season.

LEGO #BuildToGive: Build a heart from LEGO, share it with #BuildToGive, and they donate a set to a child in need.

Previous Episodes: A great time to catch up on the foundational episodes if you missed them!

Complimentary Membership Portal: Access exclusive tools and track your learning.

https://ethicalpersuasion.com.au/podcast-member-area-registration/

Patrick’s Social Media Links:

Podcast - https://ethicalpersuasion.com.au/podcast/

Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@ethicalpersuasion

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-van-der-burght/

If you think Social Proof is just about collecting 5-star reviews, you are leaving massive success on the table.

In this episode, Patrick explores the Principle of Social Proof, the rule that says we follow the lead of others, especially when we are uncertain.

He reveals the stunning "Food Court Study," where a simple change in imagery took a compliance rate from 25% to 75% (a 200% increase!). You’ll also hear the fascinating history of the shopping cart, why kids stopped fearing dogs after watching a video, and why visual artists (photographers and web designers) hold the keys to your persuasion success.

✅ The Food Court Study: How changing an image from one person eating to multiple people eating tripled the results.

✅ The 3 Amplifiers: To make Social Proof work, you need Numerousness (lots of people), Similarity (people like us), and Uncertainty (we follow others when we aren't sure).

✅ The Shopping Cart Story: Why Sylvan Goldman’s invention failed until he paid people to use them in front of real customers.

✅ The "Visual Industry" Warning: Why photographers and web designers need to understand this science to avoid costing their clients sales.

✅ The 5-Star Myth: Why a perfect 5-star average review score is not the most persuasive score you can have.

✅ The "Dark Side": A look at fake testimonials (Sony, Sunday Riley) and the tragic real-world consequences of negative social proof in media (Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why).

❗️Your Ethical Persuasion Challenge❗️

1. Audit Your Images: Look at your website or brochures. Are you showing single individuals or groups? Remember the food court study—numerousness matters.

2. Check Your Testimonials: Are you matching testimonials to the prospect? If you are pitching a female director in her 50s, don't show her a testimonial from a young male graduate. Use similarity.

3. Spot the Fakes: Be a detective. If a company uses vague social proof, investigate it. Don't let the "Dark Side" manipulate your decisions.

Resources Mentioned:

Episode 2: The Science of Human Decision-Making

https://ethicalpersuasion.com.au/podcast/0002-the-science-of-human-decision-making-stop-talking-to-the-wrong-brain/

Complimentary Membership Portal: Access exclusive tools and track your learning.

https://ethicalpersuasion.com.au/podcast-member-area-registration/

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Dr. Robert Cialdini

https://www.google.com/search?q=Dr+Cialdini+book+Influence

Patrick’s Social Media Links

Podcast : https://ethicalpersuasion.com.au/podcast/

Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@ethicalpersuasion

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-van-der-burght/

Facebook - https://web.facebook.com/ethicalpersuasion/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ethical_persuasion/

We naturally trust, like, and forgive people we consider "one of us." This is the core of the Principle of Unity, the newest universal principle introduced by Dr. Robert Cialdini.

But what if you aren't part of the same family, religion, or political party? Can you still create that powerful bond of "we-ness"?

In this episode, Patrick reveals the science behind Unity and shares jaw-dropping studies—from kidney transplant rankings to "lost letter" experiments—that prove how deep this bias runs. Most importantly, he shares actionable strategies like Co-Creation and Synchronised Action that allow you to ethically build unity with almost anyone.

💡 In This Episode, You'll Learn:

✅ The Definition of Unity: It's not just about being like someone (that's Liking); it's about being of someone—a shared identity.

✅ The "We" Advantage: How being in the "we-group" leads to more trust, cooperation, creativity, and forgiveness.

✅ Shocking Research:

📌 Referees: Why they give 10% more favourable calls to teams from their own country.

📌 Kidney Transplants: Why people rank members of their own political party as more "deserving" of life-saving organs.

📌 Lost Letters: Why people in a Catholic country were far more likely to mail a lost letter if the name on it sounded Catholic.

📌 Co-Creation: Why asking your team to solve a problem together builds more loyalty than assigning tasks individually.

✅ Synchronised Action: The incredible study where strangers who simply tapped a table in the same rhythm were 49% likely to stay and help, compared to just 18% for those who tapped out of sync.

✅ Relationship Rescue: How couples who use "we/us" language resolve conflicts successfully, while those who use logic or threats fail.

❗Your Ethical Persuasion Challenge❗

1. Use "We" Language: In your next conflict (at home or work), stop saying "you need to do this" or "I think this." Switch to "we" and "us." (e.g., "How can we solve this together?")

2. Co-Create: Don't just present a finished solution to a client or team. Bring them into the process early. Ask, "What do you think we should prioritise here?"

3. Synchronise: If you're leading a meeting or presentation, get the audience to do something together—raise hands, answer a poll, or even stand up. Join them in the action!

Resources Mentioned:

Episode 3: Who is Dr. Robert Cialdini?

https://ethicalpersuasion.com.au/podcast/0003

Complimentary Membership Portal: Join our new community to get early access and track episodes, and access guest giveaways as well as free resources.

https://ethicalpersuasion.com.au/podcast-member-area-registration/

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Dr. Robert Cialdini

https://www.google.com/search?q=Dr+Cialdini+book+Influence

Patrick’s Social Media Links

Podcast : https://ethicalpersuasion.com.au/podcast/

Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@ethicalpersuasion

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-van-der-burght/

Is it possible to influence a decision before you've even made a proposal?

In this episode, Patrick is joined by Dr. Chris Phelps, CEO of the Cialdini Institute. Chris isn't just a teacher of persuasion; he’s a practitioner who used these methods to turn his own struggling dental clinics into high-profit powerhouses during the 2008 recession.

They dive deep into the concept of Pre-suasion: the art of setting the stage for a "Yes." From the specific wording on an intake form to the channel playing on the waiting room TV, Chris reveals how environmental cues shape our clients' mindset.

✅ The "Proactive" Switch: How asking patients if they preferred to be "Proactive or Reactive" increased treatment acceptance by 33.5%.

✅ Environment Matters: Why playing CNN in your lobby might be killing your sales (and why HGTV's "Fixer Upper" is the perfect primer for healthcare).

✅ The Team as Detectives: How Chris trained his staff to uncover "Liking" similarities (kids, tennis, hobbies) so he could build instant rapport.

✅ The "Cat and Mice" Analogy: A brilliant explanation of the difference between manipulation (control) and persuasion (internal change).

✅ Membership Models: How applying the "Costco Model" to healthcare overcame the scarcity mindset of retirees.

❗Your Ethical Persuasion Challenge ❗

1. Audit Your Intake: Look at your intake forms or "contact us" fields. Are you asking questions that prime your lead for the mindset you want them in? (e.g., "Do you prefer quick fixes or long-term solutions?")

2. Check Your Environment: Walk into your own office or look at your Zoom background. What "mindset" does it trigger? Is it sterile and cold, or warm and transformative?

3. Train Your Detectives: Ask your team to find one personal interest of a lead before you hop on a sales call with them. Use that intel to build genuine rapport.

Resources Mentioned:

Guest: Dr. Chris Phelps, CEO of the Cialdini Institute

Email: chris@cialdini.com

Books by Chris Phelps:

– Grow Your Dental Membership Plan

– The Complete Book on Dental Marketing

Concept: Pre-suasion by Dr. Robert Cialdini

FREE Membership Portal: Join our new community to get early access and track episodes, and access guest giveaways as well as free resources.

Patrick’s Social Media Links

Podcast : https://ethicalpersuasion.com.au/podcast/

Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@ethicalpersuasion

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-van-der-burght/

Facebook - https://web.facebook.com/ethicalpersuasion/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ethical_persuasion/

Twitter - https://x.com/yesmoreoften

TikTok -...

We all know that people prefer to say "yes" to those they like. But many professionals go about building that liking the wrong way—using manipulative tricks like mimicking body language or inventing fake hobbies. There is a better way.

In this episode, Patrick explores the Principle of Liking. Research shows that a strong relationship can double your persuasiveness, and it doesn't require years to build. By understanding the science of how we connect, you can build genuine rapport in minutes.

✅ The "Mirroring" Trap: Why trying to mimic someone's body language often backfires and destroys trust (it's smoke and mirrors).

✅ The "Detective" Mindset: How to ethically uncover genuine similarities that trigger the "we are alike" shortcut in the brain without lying.

✅ The 3 Pillars of Liking: Why we trust people who are similar to us, say yes to people who show affection, and respond automatically to compliments.

✅ System 1 Speed: Why you don't need months to build a bond—your audience's intuitive brain can decide to trust you in just 10-15 minutes.

✅ The Power of Praise: A North Carolina study showing that compliments increase liking even when they are not 100% accurate (though we always recommend being genuine!).

✅ Case Study: The story of "Faith," who used this science to turn a hostile relationship with her manager into a friendly one in just seven days.

Stop acting and start investigating. Finding one genuine shared value is infinitely more powerful than faking a body posture.

❗️Your Ethical Persuasion Challenge❗️

Be a Detective: Before your next meeting, check the person's LinkedIn or social media. Find one genuine thing you have in common (a hobby, a value, a background) and bring it up naturally.

Commit to Learning (Consistency): If you're serious about mastering ethical influence, hit "Follow" on your podcast app now.

Spread the Love (Unity): If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or colleague. It’s a great way to build a relationship with them (by giving value) and helps us grow the community!

Resources Mentioned:

Episode 2: The Science of Human Decision-Making - Stop Talking to the Wrong Brain

Training: Ready to learn the application skills properly? Book a discovery call.

FREE Membership Portal: Join our new community to get early access and track episodes, and access guest giveaways as well as free resources.

Patrick’s Social Media Links

Podcast : https://ethicalpersuasion.com.au/podcast/

Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@ethicalpersuasion

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-van-der-burght/

Facebook - https://web.facebook.com/ethicalpersuasion/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ethical_persuasion/

Twitter - https://x.com/yesmoreoften

TikTok -...

We are socially programmed from childhood: don't take without giving back. This deep-seated human behavior is the foundation of the Principle of Reciprocity.

In this episode, Patrick explores the nuances of this powerful principle. While many businesses try to use it, most fail because they confuse gifts with rewards or advertising. Learn why a true gift—given without expectation—can create a lasting feeling of obligation, sometimes for decades (like the amazing story of Ethiopia and Mexico).

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

✅ The Definition of Reciprocity: People want to give back the same type of behavior first given to them.

✅ Gifts vs. Rewards: Why a "free ebook" that requires an email address is a reward, not a gift, and fails to trigger true reciprocity.

✅ The Power of "No Strings Attached": How a $5 upfront gift secured a 52% survey response rate, compared to just 23% for a $50 promised reward.

✅ Unexpected Results: Why free samples don't just sell the sampled product—they increase sales of other products by 42%.

✅ The "Dark Side" of Reciprocity: How even truth-seeking scientists can be swayed by gifts from pharmaceutical companies (100% vs 37% support rate).

✅ Enduring Power: The incredible story of Ethiopia sending aid to Mexico in 1985 because Mexico helped them in 1935—a 50-year-old debt of kindness.

Key Takeaway: The 3-Question Ethics Test

Before you use Reciprocity, Dr. Cialdini suggests asking yourself: "How can I help this person, genuinely?"

Shift your focus from immediate profit to genuine helpfulness. This builds long-term trust and positions you as a reliable partner, which is far more valuable than a quick sale.

❗️Your Ethical Persuasion Challenge❗️

Audit Your "Gifts": Look at your current lead magnets or client offers. Are they true gifts (no strings attached) or rewards (require an action first)? Try offering a genuine, no-strings gift this week and see what happens to the relationship.

Commit to Learning (Consistency): If you're serious about mastering ethical influence, hit "Follow" on your podcast app now.

Close the Loop (Reciprocity): If you found value in this episode, please leave a review. It's a small act that helps other ethical professionals find this show.

Resources Mentioned:

True Gift: Download the free ebook (no email required!) at here

Episode 2 : The Science of Human Decision-Making - Stop Talking to the Wrong Brain

Book: Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Dr. Robert Cialdini

FREE Membership Portal: Join our new community to get early access and track episodes, and access guest giveaways as well as free resources.

Patrick’s Social Media Links

Podcast : https://ethicalpersuasion.com.au/podcast/

Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@ethicalpersuasion

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-van-der-burght/

Just because someone calls their methods "ethical," does that make them so? In the world of sales, marketing, and leadership, the line between persuasion and manipulation can seem blurry.

In our first-ever guest episode, Patrick sits down with his friend and colleague, Brian Ahearn—a Cialdini Method Certified Trainer, author, and Chief Influence Officer at Influence People.

Brian shares his powerful origin story (which involves the word "manipulation" and an email to Stanford) and joins Patrick for a deep dive into the practical application of ethics. They provide a simple, powerful filter to analyse your own communication and reveal the severe, hidden costs of unethical persuasion.

In This Episode, You'll Learn 💡

✅ The 3-Question Test for Ethics: A simple framework you can use immediately to determine if any persuasive attempt is ethical or manipulative.

✅ Common Unethical Tactics: How businesses misuse scarcity, from fake countdown timers to constant "50% off" sales.

✅ How to Use Scarcity Ethically: Learn the right way to communicate urgency ("Price good for 30 days") versus the wrong way ("Sign today, or the deal is gone").

✅ The "3 Cancers" of an Unethical Culture: Dr. Cialdini's research on the 3 devastating costs of forcing staff to be unethical (Stress, Staff Turnover, and Fraud).

✅ How to Handle Unethical Competitors: What to do when your competition is lying or using shady tactics (Hint: You don't badmouth them).

The 3-Question Test for Ethical Influence

How can you be sure your communication is always ethical? Run it through this 3-part filter:

Is it Truthful? Are you telling the complete truth? This also means you must not hide the truth. If there is information material to their decision, you must disclose it.

Is it Naturally in the Situation? Are you pointing to real scarcity, genuine social proof, or authentic authority? Or are you "importing" a fake reason (like a meaningless countdown timer) or exaggerating a claim?

Is it Wise for the Other Person? Is this a true win-win? If they agree to your request, will they be better off? Will they be happy with their decision later and want to do business with you again?

As Brian says: "Good for you, good for me, then we're good to go."

❗️Your Ethical Persuasion Challenge❗️

The Ethics Check (Your Challenge): Take one of your email templates, sales scripts, or website pages. Run it through the 3-Question Test. Is it 100% truthful? Is the scarcity "natural"? Is it truly "wise" for your client?

Commitment (Consistency): If you're committed to learning this skill, hit "Follow" or "Subscribe" on your podcast app.

Return the Favour (Reciprocity): If you got value from this conversation, please leave a review. It provides the Social Proof that helps other ethical professionals find this community.

Resources Mentioned:

Guest: Brian Ahearn, Chief Influence Officer at Influence People.

Brian's Books:

Influence People: Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade

Persuasive Selling for Relationship-Driven Insurance Agents

The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness

Influence from Above: Where Faith and Influence Meet

Book Search for 'Influence People': https://shorturl.at/545qF

Book Search for 'Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents": https://shorturl.at/O5H7A

Book Search for 'The Influencer - Secrets to Success and Happiness": https://tinyurl.com/yjpxh39a

Book Search for 'Influence from Above': https://tinyurl.com/3j6j849d

GIVE AWAY: Anyone who buys the new book and emails the title of...