Send us a text

In this episode of Sober Sparkle, I sit down with the powerhouse that is Kim Payne - professional speaker, business mentor and podcast host. Kim has spent over 30 years in business, finance and personal growth helping entrepreneurs and professionals turn “what if” into “why not.” Known for her high-energy, straight-talking style, Kim delivers the kind of friendly wake-up calls that inspire women to make courageous choices.

Kim shares her remarkable story of walking away from a dream job in the United States at the height of her corporate career, despite having built her life around that goal. That one decision became the catalyst for everything that followed - meeting her husband, creating a new business on her own terms and redefining success. We also dive into the realities of perimenopause, perfectionism, fear, and changing your relationship with alcohol.

Together, we talk about the myth of “having it all,” the pressure of perfection, and the power of courage in creating a life you truly want. Kim reveals how she moved from working 35 weeks of the year to building a coaching practice that supports women to make bold choices, step into their power and manage their inner critic.

We also discuss how her drinking habits changed over time - from daily wine to discovering that even small amounts were leaving her with hangovers. Kim shares how she cut back, the benefits she’s experienced and the challenges of socialising differently when alcohol has been such a default.

This conversation is full of practical insights, honest reflections and inspiring ideas for any woman who’s standing on the edge of a big decision and wondering how to move forward.

Key takeaways and actions:

• Redefine success on your terms. Kim’s story shows that even your biggest goals can change - and that’s okay. Ask yourself what really matters to you right now.
• Fear is normal. Every woman Kim interviewed about success admitted to feeling fear and self-doubt. The difference is they took action anyway.
• Celebrate your wins. Kim uses her “kick-ass list” to remind herself of past achievements whenever her inner critic gets loud. Make your own and revisit it often.
• Break up with perfectionism. Massive imperfect action will move you further than waiting until everything’s “just right.”
• Be mindful about alcohol. Notice how it actually makes you feel rather than following old habits. Give yourself permission to step back or try alcohol-free options, especially if you’re experiencing hormonal changes.

Send us a text

In this episode of Sober Sparkle I sit down with award-winning patient advocate and podcast host Luan Lawrenson Wood. After her diagnosis with invasive lobular breast cancer, Luan discovered just how overwhelming the health system can feel - the jargon, the choices, the pressure - and turned that experience into a mission to help women advocate for themselves with calm, clarity and confidence.

We talk about why self-advocacy matters, what informed consent really means in practice, and how to prepare for appointments so I’m not walking out thinking, “I wish I’d asked that.” Luan shares her practical Six Steps of Self-Advocacy (her “SAS”) and shows how small changes - a written question list, a supportive “wing person”, and better filters for online information - can transform decision-making and reduce regret.

Luan also explains her shift from private patient to public advocate, why community and lived experience are so powerful, and how respectful, values-led communication can sit comfortably alongside medical expertise. This conversation is a reminder that my healthcare is about me, and my voice belongs in the room.

Key takeaways and actions

• I have the right to ask questions and participate fully in my care. That isn’t being difficult - it’s being informed.
• Preparation helps under pressure. I’ll write my questions, bring a support person to take notes, and ask for plain-English explanations.
• I’ll “cut the CRAP” when I’m online: watch for conspiracy, requests for money, anecdotes in place of evidence, and check who published it.
• Self-advocacy can be respectful and values-based. If something doesn’t sit right, I’ll seek clarification or a second opinion.
• After appointments, I’ll check in with myself: did I feel heard, do I understand my options, and what do I need next?

Send us a text

In this mid-season solo episode of Sober Sparkle, I answer the questions I’m asked most often - on email, in DMs and in conversation with clients. From whether alcohol caused my breast cancer, to how much I actually drank, whether my partner still drinks, how I handled socialising in early sobriety, if I’ll ever drink again, and the exact steps I took to change - nothing is off limits. I’m an open book because I want you to know you’re not alone, and there’s more than one way to change your relationship with alcohol.

I start with the big one: did drinking cause my breast cancer? My specialists didn’t think so at the time (2014), given my family history and the research available then. What I wasn’t asked - by any specialist - was whether I drank, and I wasn’t educated on the alcohol–cancer link. That’s changed. In early 2024, the US Surgeon General highlighted clear links between alcohol and several cancers, including breast cancer. My message is simple: please book your mammogram. In Australia, call 13 20 50. My mammogram was the reason my cancer was found early.

I share, honestly, how much I drank. Near the end it was a bottle of wine a night, often more. I justified it with “rules” and “low-alcohol” wine, but when you add up standard drinks it was well above health guidelines. I also answer the partner question. Yes, my husband still drank when I stopped, and I didn’t expect him to change for me. What actually happened was a ripple effect - without pressure - he naturally cut down and now drinks very occasionally.

Socialising in the early months? I bunkered down and focused on me: reading, podcasts, journalling, movement and rest. When I did go out, alcohol-free options in a proper glass made a huge difference. I had a plan for well-meaning pressure (“just one”), and I learned to leave when I’d had enough. Lunches, breakfasts and walks were easier than boozy nights. Triggers popped up (Father’s Day was one), but preparation helped.

Will I drink again? I don’t know - and I’m comfortable with that. I planned six months off, felt so much better and kept going. I don’t apply pressure or labels. In my coaching, you don’t have to quit forever to work with me - cutting back, experimenting and taking breaks are all valid paths.

Finally, I lay out exactly what I did to change. I removed alcohol from the house, immersed myself in quit-lit and podcasts, worked with a coach and a group for accountability, replaced the 5–7 pm window with movement, food, calls, showers or a bath, kept my hands busy (stress ball, manicure, knitting, cooking), and used alcohol-free drinks as a stepping stone. Most importantly, I swapped self-berating for self-compassion. That shift kept me going when nothing else did.

Key Takeaways and Actions (woven through the episode):
If you’re sober-curious, start by getting curious - not judgemental. Add up your honest standard drinks and notice the “rules” you use to justify them. Build a social plan: bring your own alcohol-free options, decide your exit time, and have a one-line response ready for “just one”. Replace the 5–7 pm window with something that occupies your hands and head. Consider accountability - a coach, a program or a trusted friend. And please, book your mammogram (13 20 50). Above all, be kind to yourself; compassion changes behaviour, shame doesn’t.

Send us a text

In this solo episode of Sober-ish Sparkle, I open up about my drinking story in the hope that it resonates with you and reminds you that you’re not alone. I take you through the different stages of my drinking - from my divorce and single parenting years, through dating again, marriage, postnatal depression, breast cancer, turning 50, and the COVID lockdowns.

For me, drinking began as a way to cope with loneliness, sadness, and stress. Over the years it became my constant companion: a bottle of wine most nights, sometimes more, justified by rules and rituals I created to keep it feeling “normal.” Whether it was dating nerves, celebrating milestones, or managing daily overwhelm, alcohol became the thread I thought held me together.

But underneath it all, I knew I was stuck in a cycle. Even when I convinced myself I was “functioning” or “not that bad,” the truth was I was drinking more than I wanted and it was dulling my spark. I share the moment when things shifted - waking up with shakes and vertigo one morning after Christmas - and how that became my turning point to seek help, work with a coach, and step into sober curiosity.

The key message I want to leave you with is this: berating yourself never works. I spent years calling myself hopeless, useless, a drunk. If shame and self-criticism could fix drinking, I would have been sober decades ago. What finally worked was learning to treat myself with kindness, compassion and nurture - even when I slipped up. That was the difference that helped me change for good.

Send us a text

In this solo episode of Sober Sparkle, I explore the topic of emotional drinking – a behaviour that so many of us fall into without even realising it. Most of us have heard of emotional eating, where we turn to food for comfort, distraction or reward, but emotional drinking works in much the same way. It’s when we reach for alcohol not because we want it, but because we want to escape the feelings bubbling beneath the surface – stress, sadness, loneliness, boredom, anxiety, or even celebration that tips into excess.

I share how willpower alone rarely works when it comes to drinking habits. White-knuckling through a month off might get you short-term results, but if you don’t explore the emotions and beliefs driving your drinking, old patterns return. Long-term change requires something deeper: recognising your emotions, questioning your beliefs about alcohol, and learning to nurture yourself through discomfort rather than numbing it.

In this conversation, I talk about practical tools like HALT (asking yourself if you’re hungry, angry, lonely, or tired before pouring a drink) and RAIN (recognise, allow, investigate, nurture). These simple techniques help you pause, check in with yourself, and deal with what’s really happening beneath the urge. I also share why so many of us were never taught how to process emotions, and why alcohol can become the easy crutch. But with compassion and curiosity, we can start to rewire our beliefs and find new ways to cope.

The key takeaway is that alcohol is never the real problem – it’s the bandaid we use when we don’t want to feel. By nurturing ourselves with rest, boundaries, movement, journaling, connection and self-kindness, we can face our emotions in a healthier way and build resilience that lasts. My invitation to you is simple: the next time you feel that pull towards a drink, pause for just ten minutes. Notice what you’re feeling, ask yourself what you really need, and offer yourself the care you’d give a dear friend.

Send us a text

In this solo episode of Sober Sparkle, I dive into the idea of grey area drinking – something I get asked about a lot by clients and interviewers alike. Six seasons into the podcast, I wanted to take the time to really explore what this term means, how it shows up in daily life, and what you can do if you recognise yourself in it.

Grey area drinking is where you don’t hit what we traditionally call “rock bottom”. You might not have a physical dependence on alcohol, and from the outside things look fine. But on the inside, drinking feels like more of a problem than you’d like to admit. It’s not being able to take it or leave it – it’s wanting to drink most of the time. For me, this looked like being a high-functioning heavy drinker, keeping up with work, family, and all the juggling acts of midlife, but still reaching for a bottle of wine every night.

It’s the kind of drinking that creeps into your routine without you even noticing. Maybe you pour a glass automatically while cooking dinner, or you find yourself counting down to “wine o’clock” in the afternoon even if you promised yourself that morning you wouldn’t drink. That inner tug of war – knowing you should cut back, but not really wanting to – is what keeps so many of us stuck in the cycle.

In this episode, I share my own experience of prioritising alcohol over other things that mattered to me, like my sons’ sport commitments, and how I began to see that drinking wasn’t just numbing my stress, it was dulling my spark. I talk through the mental gymnastics that come with always thinking about your next drink, and the habits that form when alcohol becomes your go-to for stress, boredom, loneliness or even celebration.

One of the tools I introduce is HALT – a simple way to pause before pouring that glass and ask yourself: am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired? Sometimes the craving is less about the drink itself and more about an unmet need. I also share why autopilot drinking is so common, how the “wine witch” shows up around four o’clock, and the reality of building tolerance where you don’t feel physically hungover, but your brain and emotions are absolutely paying the price.

If you’re sober curious or just tired of feeling tired, this conversation is for you. My biggest takeaway is that alcohol may soothe in the moment, but it always comes at a cost – your presence, your energy, and your connection to yourself and your loved ones. The action step I encourage is simply to get curious. Reflect on your habits, notice your triggers, and experiment with breaks. You don’t need to label yourself or hit rock bottom to decide you want more clarity, more joy, and your sparkle back.

Send us a text

In this episode of Sober Sparkle, I sit down with the wonderful Briony May, who many of you will know from the Great British Bake Off, where she won hearts in 2018 and made it all the way to the semifinals. Since then, Briony has become a familiar face on UK television, presenting on Food Unwrapped and Escape to the Country, while bringing her warmth, humour and down-to-earth charm into people’s homes. But as we discover in this conversation, her story goes far beyond cakes and television.

Briony shares her powerful health wake-up call in 2023, when a stomach ulcer led her to give up alcohol, caffeine, fizzy drinks and even vaping. What started as a temporary change quickly became a complete lifestyle transformation. She’s since lost three stone, found fresh confidence, and embraced a vibrant sober life filled with roller discos, triathlon training and a new sense of freedom. Together, we talk about the benefits of choosing sobriety, not just in terms of physical health, but also in self-acceptance, emotional resilience and the ability to enjoy life more fully.

Our conversation also delves into Briony’s role as a passionate disability advocate. She speaks honestly about growing up with one hand, the shame she initially carried around the word “disabled”, and how she has since embraced her identity with pride and strength. Briony reflects on the influence of her agent Andrew, the importance of representation in media, and the power of communities like Reach in supporting families and children with limb differences. Her insights highlight how embracing every part of ourselves can lead to deeper confidence and connection.

We also explore what it means to rediscover joy when alcohol is no longer in the picture. Briony talks openly about the ways sobriety has helped her manage stress, show up more present with her daughter, and even improve her work as a presenter. She shares her “play the tape forward” approach for handling triggers, her love of swimming as a new-found passion, and the sense of pride she now feels in aligning her choices with her values.

This episode is full of warmth, honesty and inspiration. Briony’s story is a reminder that you don’t have to hit rock bottom to make a change. Sometimes it just takes a wake-up call, a little curiosity, and the courage to say yes to a different way of living. From Bake Off star to sober role model, her journey shows how transformation is possible, and how choosing to go alcohol-free can unlock energy, joy and self-belief in ways you might never expect.

Send us a text

In this episode, I have the absolute pleasure of speaking with Janey Lee Grace — a voice so many will recognise from BBC Radio 2’s Steve Wright in the Afternoon, and an inspiring figure in the wellness and sobriety space. Janey is a bestselling author, broadcaster, founder of The Sober Club, and the host of the Alcohol Free Life podcast, which has clocked over 1.2 million downloads. She’s also delivered the powerful TEDx talk Sobriety Rocks: Who Knew?, and has been a passionate advocate for holistic living for decades.

Janey’s own sober journey began in 2018 when what was meant to be a “Dry January” became a life-changing decision. She shares how she was never at “rock bottom” but was caught in the all-too-familiar mummy wine culture, using alcohol as a daily “treat” without realising how much it was impacting her wellbeing, identity and self-worth. Her turning point came after reading a relatable memoir that showed her sobriety could be about gaining joy, freedom and clarity — not losing out.

We dive deep into the reality of being a so-called “normal drinker”, the impact of alcohol on sleep, mental health, and ageing, and why focusing on what you gain — rather than what you give up — is the key to making sobriety stick. Janey talks about stepping into a new identity, finding connection, creating a “sober toolkit”, and embracing small daily wins. We also explore the cultural shift towards alcohol-free living, the importance of finding joy outside the bottle, and her favourite techniques like EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) for managing emotions without numbing them.

Janey’s story is rich with personal insights — from her early career as a backing singer touring with Wham, to her transition into radio, to becoming a leading voice in the sober movement. It’s a reminder that you don’t have to hit rock bottom to make a change, and that life alcohol-free can open doors to more creativity, confidence and connection than you ever imagined.

Key topics we explore in this conversation include:

• How Janey moved from daily drinking to long-term sobriety without a rock bottom moment
• The power of focusing on gains instead of deprivation when going alcohol-free
• How alcohol affects sleep, energy, mood and the ageing process
• Navigating identity shifts in sobriety and building confidence in social settings
• Why connection is critical — and how The Sober Club supports its members
• Creating a personalised “sober toolkit” to stay on track
• Finding joy and purpose beyond drinking, from childhood passions to new adventures
• How EFT can help manage anxiety and cravings
• Janey’s journey from touring with Wham to becoming a BBC radio personality and bestselling author

If you’re sober curious, questioning your relationship with alcohol, or simply looking for inspiration to live more fully, this conversation will resonate deeply. Janey’s warmth, honesty and wealth of experience make this a truly uplifting and practical episode.