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In this solo episode of Sober Sparkle, I dive into the idea of grey area drinking – something I get asked about a lot by clients and interviewers alike. Six seasons into the podcast, I wanted to take the time to really explore what this term means, how it shows up in daily life, and what you can do if you recognise yourself in it.

Grey area drinking is where you don’t hit what we traditionally call “rock bottom”. You might not have a physical dependence on alcohol, and from the outside things look fine. But on the inside, drinking feels like more of a problem than you’d like to admit. It’s not being able to take it or leave it – it’s wanting to drink most of the time. For me, this looked like being a high-functioning heavy drinker, keeping up with work, family, and all the juggling acts of midlife, but still reaching for a bottle of wine every night.

It’s the kind of drinking that creeps into your routine without you even noticing. Maybe you pour a glass automatically while cooking dinner, or you find yourself counting down to “wine o’clock” in the afternoon even if you promised yourself that morning you wouldn’t drink. That inner tug of war – knowing you should cut back, but not really wanting to – is what keeps so many of us stuck in the cycle.

In this episode, I share my own experience of prioritising alcohol over other things that mattered to me, like my sons’ sport commitments, and how I began to see that drinking wasn’t just numbing my stress, it was dulling my spark. I talk through the mental gymnastics that come with always thinking about your next drink, and the habits that form when alcohol becomes your go-to for stress, boredom, loneliness or even celebration.

One of the tools I introduce is HALT – a simple way to pause before pouring that glass and ask yourself: am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired? Sometimes the craving is less about the drink itself and more about an unmet need. I also share why autopilot drinking is so common, how the “wine witch” shows up around four o’clock, and the reality of building tolerance where you don’t feel physically hungover, but your brain and emotions are absolutely paying the price.

If you’re sober curious or just tired of feeling tired, this conversation is for you. My biggest takeaway is that alcohol may soothe in the moment, but it always comes at a cost – your presence, your energy, and your connection to yourself and your loved ones. The action step I encourage is simply to get curious. Reflect on your habits, notice your triggers, and experiment with breaks. You don’t need to label yourself or hit rock bottom to decide you want more clarity, more joy, and your sparkle back.