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In this episode of Sober Sparkle, I sit down with the powerhouse that is Kim Payne - professional speaker, business mentor and podcast host. Kim has spent over 30 years in business, finance and personal growth helping entrepreneurs and professionals turn “what if” into “why not.” Known for her high-energy, straight-talking style, Kim delivers the kind of friendly wake-up calls that inspire women to make courageous choices.

Kim shares her remarkable story of walking away from a dream job in the United States at the height of her corporate career, despite having built her life around that goal. That one decision became the catalyst for everything that followed - meeting her husband, creating a new business on her own terms and redefining success. We also dive into the realities of perimenopause, perfectionism, fear, and changing your relationship with alcohol.

Together, we talk about the myth of “having it all,” the pressure of perfection, and the power of courage in creating a life you truly want. Kim reveals how she moved from working 35 weeks of the year to building a coaching practice that supports women to make bold choices, step into their power and manage their inner critic.

We also discuss how her drinking habits changed over time - from daily wine to discovering that even small amounts were leaving her with hangovers. Kim shares how she cut back, the benefits she’s experienced and the challenges of socialising differently when alcohol has been such a default.

This conversation is full of practical insights, honest reflections and inspiring ideas for any woman who’s standing on the edge of a big decision and wondering how to move forward.

Key takeaways and actions:

• Redefine success on your terms. Kim’s story shows that even your biggest goals can change - and that’s okay. Ask yourself what really matters to you right now.
• Fear is normal. Every woman Kim interviewed about success admitted to feeling fear and self-doubt. The difference is they took action anyway.
• Celebrate your wins. Kim uses her “kick-ass list” to remind herself of past achievements whenever her inner critic gets loud. Make your own and revisit it often.
• Break up with perfectionism. Massive imperfect action will move you further than waiting until everything’s “just right.”
• Be mindful about alcohol. Notice how it actually makes you feel rather than following old habits. Give yourself permission to step back or try alcohol-free options, especially if you’re experiencing hormonal changes.

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In this episode of Sober Sparkle I sit down with award-winning patient advocate and podcast host Luan Lawrenson Wood. After her diagnosis with invasive lobular breast cancer, Luan discovered just how overwhelming the health system can feel - the jargon, the choices, the pressure - and turned that experience into a mission to help women advocate for themselves with calm, clarity and confidence.

We talk about why self-advocacy matters, what informed consent really means in practice, and how to prepare for appointments so I’m not walking out thinking, “I wish I’d asked that.” Luan shares her practical Six Steps of Self-Advocacy (her “SAS”) and shows how small changes - a written question list, a supportive “wing person”, and better filters for online information - can transform decision-making and reduce regret.

Luan also explains her shift from private patient to public advocate, why community and lived experience are so powerful, and how respectful, values-led communication can sit comfortably alongside medical expertise. This conversation is a reminder that my healthcare is about me, and my voice belongs in the room.

Key takeaways and actions

• I have the right to ask questions and participate fully in my care. That isn’t being difficult - it’s being informed.
• Preparation helps under pressure. I’ll write my questions, bring a support person to take notes, and ask for plain-English explanations.
• I’ll “cut the CRAP” when I’m online: watch for conspiracy, requests for money, anecdotes in place of evidence, and check who published it.
• Self-advocacy can be respectful and values-based. If something doesn’t sit right, I’ll seek clarification or a second opinion.
• After appointments, I’ll check in with myself: did I feel heard, do I understand my options, and what do I need next?

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In this mid-season solo episode of Sober Sparkle, I answer the questions I’m asked most often - on email, in DMs and in conversation with clients. From whether alcohol caused my breast cancer, to how much I actually drank, whether my partner still drinks, how I handled socialising in early sobriety, if I’ll ever drink again, and the exact steps I took to change - nothing is off limits. I’m an open book because I want you to know you’re not alone, and there’s more than one way to change your relationship with alcohol.

I start with the big one: did drinking cause my breast cancer? My specialists didn’t think so at the time (2014), given my family history and the research available then. What I wasn’t asked - by any specialist - was whether I drank, and I wasn’t educated on the alcohol–cancer link. That’s changed. In early 2024, the US Surgeon General highlighted clear links between alcohol and several cancers, including breast cancer. My message is simple: please book your mammogram. In Australia, call 13 20 50. My mammogram was the reason my cancer was found early.

I share, honestly, how much I drank. Near the end it was a bottle of wine a night, often more. I justified it with “rules” and “low-alcohol” wine, but when you add up standard drinks it was well above health guidelines. I also answer the partner question. Yes, my husband still drank when I stopped, and I didn’t expect him to change for me. What actually happened was a ripple effect - without pressure - he naturally cut down and now drinks very occasionally.

Socialising in the early months? I bunkered down and focused on me: reading, podcasts, journalling, movement and rest. When I did go out, alcohol-free options in a proper glass made a huge difference. I had a plan for well-meaning pressure (“just one”), and I learned to leave when I’d had enough. Lunches, breakfasts and walks were easier than boozy nights. Triggers popped up (Father’s Day was one), but preparation helped.

Will I drink again? I don’t know - and I’m comfortable with that. I planned six months off, felt so much better and kept going. I don’t apply pressure or labels. In my coaching, you don’t have to quit forever to work with me - cutting back, experimenting and taking breaks are all valid paths.

Finally, I lay out exactly what I did to change. I removed alcohol from the house, immersed myself in quit-lit and podcasts, worked with a coach and a group for accountability, replaced the 5–7 pm window with movement, food, calls, showers or a bath, kept my hands busy (stress ball, manicure, knitting, cooking), and used alcohol-free drinks as a stepping stone. Most importantly, I swapped self-berating for self-compassion. That shift kept me going when nothing else did.

Key Takeaways and Actions (woven through the episode):
If you’re sober-curious, start by getting curious - not judgemental. Add up your honest standard drinks and notice the “rules” you use to justify them. Build a social plan: bring your own alcohol-free options, decide your exit time, and have a one-line response ready for “just one”. Replace the 5–7 pm window with something that occupies your hands and head. Consider accountability - a coach, a program or a trusted friend. And please, book your mammogram (13 20 50). Above all, be kind to yourself; compassion changes behaviour, shame doesn’t.