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  • AuDHD and the Holidays: Navigating the Holiday Hustle and Overwhelm

    AuDHD and the Holidays: Navigating the Holiday Hustle and Overwhelm
    2025/11/22
    Hello and welcome to another episode of Authentically ADHD. I’m Carmen, and today we’re diving into how the holiday season feels through the eyes (and brain) of someone with AuDHD – that is, co-occurring autism and ADHD. For many of us, the holidays can feel less “holly jolly” and more like a perfect storm of stress. In this episode we’ll explore why the season can be extra hard, what it looks and feels like, and science-backed strategies to survive (and maybe even enjoy) the holidays. Whether you’re a newly diagnosed adult or a parent of a neurodivergent child, this one’s for you.What Is AuDHD? (Autism + ADHD)First, a quick science check. Autism and ADHD often go hand in hand. In fact, research suggests roughly 50–70% of autistic people also meet criteria for ADHD. Likewise, about two-thirds of people with ADHD have another condition like autism. In plain terms, having AuDHD means your brain experiences both sets of traits – the social-pragmatic and sensory sensitivities of autism and the attention-dopamine challenges of ADHD.This combination can feel like a constant tug-of-war in the mind. One part of you craves novelty and spontaneity (hello, ADHD!), while another part craves predictability and routine (hello, autism!). Imagine loving new experiences but also needing your favorite cookie recipe exactly the same every year. The result? It can be disorienting: you might feel like you “don’t fit” neatly into either camp. Some people with AuDHD describe it as an internal “tug-of-war” or seesaw: one side impulsive and messy, the other organized and anxious to plan.In practice, AuDHD often means compensating and crashing. For example, someone’s autism-driven focus might compensate for their ADHD-driven distractibility at work, or vice versa – ADHD-driven chaos can overwhelm autistic need-for-order, leaving them paralyzed by overwhelm. Dopamine is also at play: ADHD brains naturally crave dopamine and may impulsively seek novelty to get it. This can collide with autistic routines (which prefer sameness), causing even more internal conflict. All of this can be exhausting, but it also means AuDHD brains are vividly tuned in and often intensely creative. Think of it as life on high-intensity mode – colorful and chaotic, requiring constant balancing.Why the Holidays Are Extra ChallengingNow layer on the holidays, and the pressure cooker heats way up. Even neurotypical people report elevated stress: one survey found 62% of adults felt “very or somewhat” more stressed during the holidays than at other times of year. But for AuDHD brains, the holidays can amplify every stressor:Routines Disrupted: The holidays upend our anchors. School break means new daily rhythms, late nights, irregular meals – everything that might keep an autistic-AuDHD person grounded gets flipped. As one ND observer notes, “routines are often our anchor, and when they’re pulled away, it can leave us adrift”. Even small changes (late start on Monday, new host home, delayed bedtime) can throw our whole system off.Sensory Overload: Holiday sights, sounds, and smells come at you hard. Think bright lights, loud music, clanging dishes, lots of chatter, and maybe even firecrackers or poppers. These environments can push a neurodivergent nervous system into sensory overwhelm. In fact, decorations blaring carols while a dozen relatives talk at once – that’s the classic recipe for sensory overload. Neuroscience explains it as bombarding the five senses: your brain goes into fight-or-flight mode, and it can stay on high alert even after you’re home. One ADHD resource describes this: “the body’s nervous system shifts into ‘fight-or-flight’ mode… After the event, the body may remain on high alert, struggling to return to a relaxed baseline – leading to fatigue, overstimulation, and emotional shutdown.”. In short, holiday clamor can fry an AuDHD brain.Social and Family Dynamics: Holidays often mean forced proximity. You’re expected to play nice at a crowded party, join in traditions, maybe hug or kiss relatives, and make small talk. That’s a lot of unstructured social juggling. Neurodivergent people often need more downtime than society assumes, but the holidays cram intense social demands into the shortest days of winter. Feeling like you should be joyful and festive can clash with feeling drained, anxious, or withdrawn. This is the “disconnect between ‘should’ and ‘feel’” one psychologist talks about: everyone else is pretending joy, but you might feel agitated, melancholic, or exhausted instead. In fact, holiday stress can bring out “regressive” feelings: snapping at family, ruminating on past hurts, or longing for a perfect moment that never happens.Executive Overload: Then there’s all the planning and to-dos. Making a menu, shopping for gifts, wrapping, hosting – the holiday season can demand supercharged executive function. Neuroscience shows that high ...
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    32 分
  • Masking, Unmasking, and the Exhaustion in Between

    Masking, Unmasking, and the Exhaustion in Between
    2025/10/25
    IntroductionImagine trying to swim while holding a beach ball underwater – you might pull it off for a bit, but sooner or later that ball is bobbing to the surface. Masking ADHD can feel just like that. Many of us with ADHD learn early that our brains and behaviors can stand out, so we develop a “socially acceptable” persona to blend in. We smile, sit still, and force focus – all to hide our natural restlessness or distraction. This isn’t about being fake; it’s a survival strategy learned over years. But as the ADDA (Adult ADHD Organization) puts it, keeping that mask on “will take a lot of energy – and the same goes for hiding your ADHD symptoms” In this episode, we’ll explore what masking looks like, why we do it, how it varies across individuals, and most importantly, how to gradually unmask without burning out.What Is Masking and Why We Do It“Masking” (also called camouflaging or impression management) means hiding ADHD-related behaviors to appear neurotypical, usually to avoid stigma or negative judgments. Psychologists trace the idea back to Russell Barkley, who noted roughly one-third of people with ADHD develop masking habit. In practice, this can mean sitting unnaturally still to hide hyperactivity, speaking slowly to avoid interrupting, or painstakingly rehearsing what to say in social situations. We do it for safety. Maybe a teacher, boss, or parent once told us our energy was “too much,” or we saw peers get punished for fidgeting. Over time, we absorb: if we let our ADHD out, we risk judgment, rejection, or even losing out on opportunities. In fact, research shows it’s not paranoia: about 78% of adults with ADHD admit to concealing their symptoms at work for fear of discrimination In school, the disparity can be shocking – one study found students with overt ADHD behaviors are disciplined 3.5 times more often than their peers for the same actions. Add gender and cultural pressures, and masking can feel like the only path: for example, women with ADHD often face “double discrimination” (for having ADHD and for not fitting feminine organizational norms) and are 40% more likely than men to hide their diagnosis entirely. In short, from childhood on, many of us learn that showing our “whole” ADHD selves is risky or unwelcome. So we adapt. We smile when our mind is racing, offer practical reasons for missed details (“Sorry I’m late, traffic was a nightmare!”), and push down our impulsivity. This constant self-monitoring – judging every word, movement, or post you make – drains your brain like a marathon trainer. It literally spikes stress: one study found that simply drafting and editing an email to seem “normal” boosts cortisol by 45% – your body treats each message like a big performance reviewe. Over time, the nervous system can’t tell the difference between a social slip-up and physical dange, so we end up trapped in a cycle of hyper-alertness, exhaustion, and anxiety.What Masking Looks LikeBecause masking is so ingrained, it can look subtle – almost invisible – to others. Here are some common signs:Forcing calmness: You feel restless or impulsive inside, but you keep your voice and movements unusually slow. Your leg might be itching to bounce, but you tuck it under the chair. (Essentially, you’re acting tranquil on the outside to hide your inside.).Over-checking & perfectionism: You triple-check your work or double-back on a short text. It’s not just organization; it’s anxiety about making even a tiny mistake. You polish emails or assignments obsessively so no one will doubt you. This can buy you time socially, but it bleeds your time and energy.Mimicking behavior: You silently copy others. If classmates fidget with a pencil or crack jokes, you nod and do something similar, even if it feels unnatural. You rehearse social scripts or small talk lines so you don’t stand out.Hyper-focusing to overcompensate: You push intense focus on tasks that are being observed. In a meeting, you might go above and beyond on one project to cover for the times your attention drifts away.Suppressing stims: You swallow small yelps when you’re excited, hold in hand-flapping urges, or quietly tap your foot under the table so nobody notices your need to move.Masking emotions: Instead of expressing frustration or excitement, you “perform” a neutral or cheerfully appropriate response. You might bottle up anxiety during social events and then have a breakdown in private.Over time, these “adaptations” literally become a second job. You’re constantly monitoring yourself: “Am I moving too much? Did I blurt out something weird? Should I rephrase that?” It can feel like juggling while walking a tightrope. Nothing about the self feels authentic anymore – you’re playing roles, not being you. But it’s understandable: many ADHDers grew up being rewarded for “good behavior” and punished for impulsivity. The very need to mask is born ...
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    30 分
  • Why Transitions Feel Like a Full-Body Earthquake

    Why Transitions Feel Like a Full-Body Earthquake
    2025/09/08

    In this episode of Authentically ADHD, we’re cracking open one of the most misunderstood struggles of AuDHD life: transitions. Whether it’s getting out of bed, switching tasks, or handling major life shifts like job changes or breakups—transitions can feel like full-body earthquakes that knock us off our axis.

    Join Carmen as she unpacks the neuroscience behind why transitions are so hard when you're wired with both ADHD and autism. From executive dysfunction to emotional dysregulation, sensory overload to task initiation paralysis—this episode breaks it all down with science, sarcasm, and soul.

    You’ll hear relatable anecdotes (including meltdowns over sock seams and hyperfocus hostage situations), insights from ADHD researchers and the ADHD Adults UK Podcast, and 10 practical tips to make transitions less chaotic and more compassionate.

    ✨ If you’ve ever wondered why a “simple” change feels like a system shutdown—you’re not alone. And you’re definitely not broken.

    📚 Topics Covered:

    * Executive functions involved in transitions

    * Why AuDHD brains resist shifting gears

    * Emotional and sensory overwhelm

    * Tools, rituals, and scripts to ease transitions

    * How to support yourself with structure—not shame

    🎧 Press play, breathe deep, and let’s navigate the messy magic of change—together.

    @authenticallyadhd_podcast

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    31 分
  • Too Positive? Deep Dive on Toxic Positivity (part 1))

    Too Positive? Deep Dive on Toxic Positivity (part 1))
    2025/08/31

    🎙️ Episode Title: Too Positive? Deep Dive on Toxic Positivity – Part 1 💥 Podcast: Authentically ADHD with Carmen

    Episode Summary: In this powerful Part 1 episode, Carmen unpacks the surprisingly harmful impact of toxic positivity—that relentless “good vibes only” energy that floods our feeds and conversations but often leaves us feeling invalidated, misunderstood, or just plain unseen.

    We’re diving deep into what toxic positivity really is (spoiler: it’s not the same as genuine optimism), how it shows up in everyday life, and why it’s especially harmful for ADHD brains that already struggle with emotional regulation, rejection sensitivity, and internalized shame.

    Carmen explores the science behind emotional suppression vs. expression, using insights from trauma-informed therapy, positive psychology, and mindfulness-based neuroscience to help explain how this "be happy no matter what" mindset actually increases stress, shame, and even physical health risks. Plus, she digs into how society, culture, and even the self-help world contribute to the rise of this positivity pressure—and why folks with ADHD often bear the brunt of it.

    👀 Expect real talk, research-backed breakdowns, and compassionate call-outs like:

    * 🚫 “Your feelings make me uncomfortable.”

    * 🚫 “Let’s spiritually bypass our way out of this.”

    * 🚫 “If you’re not smiling, you’re failing.”

    Whether you’ve been on the receiving end of these vibes, or accidentally sent them yourself (we all have!), this episode gives you the language, validation, and science to understand why it feels so wrong—and what to do about it.

    ✨ Stick around for Part 2, where we’ll dive into actionable strategies to replace performative positivity with authentic, grounded emotional support—for yourself and others.

    @authenticallyadhd_podcast

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    https://linktr.ee/carmen_irace

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    1 時間 1 分
  • ADHD & Energy Management The Spoon Theory Explained

    ADHD & Energy Management The Spoon Theory Explained
    2025/08/23

    🎙️ Episode Title: ADHD & Energy Management: The Spoon Theory, Explained

    💥 Summary:In this episode of Authentically ADHD, we're digging deep into something that hits WAY too close to home for many of us: energy management. You know that frustrating gap between what you want to do and what your brain/body will actually let you do? Yeah, that.

    Enter: The Spoon Theory—a simple yet powerful metaphor that helps explain why ADHDers often feel completely wiped after doing things that seem “easy” to neurotypicals (like answering emails or… existing).

    We'll break down:

    * 🥄 What “spoons” actually are (and no, this isn’t about your silverware drawer)

    * ⚡ Why people with ADHD have an inconsistent energy battery and how that affects motivation, executive function, and emotional regulation

    * 🧠 The neuroscience behind burnout, decision fatigue, and overstimulation in ADHD brains

    * 🧃 How to create your own daily “spoon budget” to avoid crashing before noon

    * 🧰 Coping strategies to recharge your spoons, preserve your energy, and set boundaries without guilt

    Expect metaphors, real-life examples, sarcasm (obviously), and some truth bombs you didn’t know you needed. This is your permission slip to stop feeling lazy—and start honoring your unique brain-body energy loop.

    ✨ Because you don’t lack willpower—you’re just out of spoons, babe.



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    36 分
  • ADHD’s Secret Focus Hack

    ADHD’s Secret Focus Hack
    2025/08/14

    In this episode of Authentically ADHD, host Carmen dives into the powerful productivity hack of body doubling – a strategy that can help ADHDers stay focused, overcome procrastination, and actually get stuff done. Body doubling isn’t just about sitting next to a friend while you work (though that definitely helps!); it’s about harnessing the presence of another person, tool, or environment to provide external structure and motivation for your ADHD brain.

    Carmen explores the science behind why body doubling works, focusing on the role dopamine plays in task initiation and focus. From in-person body doubling to virtual co-working sessions, group productivity, passive presence, and even using apps and timers, this episode covers multiple ways to implement body doubling in your life.

    Through personal anecdotes, actionable tips, and a deep dive into the neuroscience behind it all, Carmen offers listeners practical, creative ideas for incorporating body doubling into their daily routines. Whether you're struggling with that looming to-do list or just need a productivity boost, this episode will give you the tools you need to find your focus and crush those tasks with a little help from your "focus buddies."

    If you’ve ever found it hard to start or stick with a task, this episode is for you. Tune in and discover how body doubling can become your secret weapon in the battle against procrastination!

    Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and share with a friend who could use a productivity boost too!

    Linktree:

    https://linktr.ee/carmen_irace

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    Sources & Further Reading

    * Healthline – Body Doubling for ADHD: What Is It and How Does It Work?

    * PsychCentral – ADHD Body Doubling: What It Is and How It Works

    * Focusmate Blog – How a Body Double Can Help You Stay Productive and Accountable

    * Medical News Today – Body Doubling for ADHD

    Focusmate – Using Forest App for ADHD



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    34 分
  • Why This Season Feels Like a Mental Marathon

    Why This Season Feels Like a Mental Marathon
    2025/08/10

    BONUS EPISODE

    Back-to-School Brain: Why This Season Feels Like a Mental Marathon and 7 Strategies to Survive It

    The back-to-school season is here, and if you have ADHD (or love someone who does), you might already feel that familiar cocktail of excitement, dread, and complete mental overload. This isn’t just about buying supplies or setting the alarm earlier — for ADHD brains, this transition is a full-on neurobiological workout.

    In this bonus episode of Authentically ADHD, I’m breaking down exactly why the shift from summer to school hits us so hard and how you can navigate it without completely burning out.

    Why Back-to-School is Hard for ADHD Brains

    Research shows that ADHD impacts the brain’s executive function systems — the skills that help us plan, prioritize, and transition between tasks. Back-to-school season cranks up the demand on those systems and throws in:

    * New schedules that disrupt routines and sleep cycles

    * Sensory overload from noisy classrooms, bright lights, and bustling hallways

    * Social energy drain from navigating new people and group settings

    * Working memory strain from keeping track of deadlines, materials, and daily logistics

    Add in performance pressure and the emotional load of change, and no wonder we end up mentally fried before the first bell rings.

    The 7 Strategies to Survive (and Even Thrive)

    In this episode, I share seven ADHD-friendly, research-backed strategies that help ease the transition:

    * Front-Load Familiarity – Give your brain a preview to reduce uncertainty.

    * Build Transition Buffers – Allow downtime between tasks to recharge.

    * Externalize Everything – Use tools and visuals so your working memory doesn’t have to hold it all.

    * Prioritize Regulation Before Learning – Calm the nervous system first for better focus.

    * Pre-Pack and Stage – Reduce morning decision fatigue.

    * Use Environmental Cues – Let your surroundings help prompt action.

    * Compassion as a Strategy – Give yourself grace; the adjustment takes time.

    Key Takeaway

    Back-to-school isn’t just a change in location — it’s a neurological event for ADHD brains. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s creating systems and supports that work with your brain’s wiring, not against it.

    If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by the shift, this episode is your permiss

    ion slip to slow down, simplify, and celebrate the small wins.

    🎧 Listen now: Authentically ADHD PodcastFollow on Instagram: @authenticallyadhd_podcast



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    22 分
  • Impulsive, Confused, Regretful? You Might Be Missing This Key ADHD Skill

    Impulsive, Confused, Regretful? You Might Be Missing This Key ADHD Skill
    2025/08/09

    Ever found yourself blurting something out, making a random decision, or spiraling into shame after a hyperfocus bender — only to ask yourself later, “What was I even thinking?” You’re not broken — but you might be missing a critical executive function skill that ADHD brains often struggle with: metacognition.

    In this episode, we’re diving deep into the skill of “thinking about thinking” — what it is, why it’s often offline in ADHD brains, and how it affects everything from our relationships to our routines. You’ll learn how weak metacognition keeps us stuck in reactive loops, and why it's so hard to hit pause when our brains are wired for go-go-go.

    We’ll break down:

    * What metacognition actually is (with real-life ADHD examples)

    * Why the ADHD brain skips the self-reflection step entirely

    * The neuroscience of the prefrontal cortex and executive dysfunction

    * Why impulsive decisions and delayed regret are more about wiring than willpower

    * How to start training your internal coach instead of listening to your inner critic

    Plus, I’ll share 5 science-backed, ADHD-friendly strategies to strengthen your metacognitive muscle — no shame, no “just try harder,” and no 50-page bullet journal required.

    If you’ve ever looked back and wondered, “Why did I do that?” — this episode is for you.

    metacognition moment resource: https://www.canva.com/design/DAGrRQu7-6w/4_XASV7kxlDvciLgIc5PFA/view?utm_content=DAGrRQu7-6w&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link2&utm_source=uniquelinks&utlId=hbd3d132f02

    Follow me:

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    34 分