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Obscurity is a way of life for Gavin Vonn Getch, a painter who works at a frame shop in a small New England town. His life changes when billionaire Gary Eastman enters his shop and becomes the ultimate patron: a lifetime commission for all his work in exchange for a crap-load of money. Some of his artist buddies envy him and others think he's sold out. Curious as to where his paintings are being displayed, he makes a trip to the DLC headquarters, where a shocking discovery forces him to reevaluate his deal with Eastman and his identity as an artist.

When the Vatican's top assassin, a Rhodesian merc, a pair of serial killer lovers, a dirty cop, and a professional sadist compete in a mad race for a pair of priceless magical artifacts, betrayal, theft, and murder are just the opening moves in a game of death.

Abraham Koyfman is a widower of nine months. He works from home selling subliminal self-help tapes for a questionable doctor he found in an ad in the back of a magazine. His meager retirement is enough now that he's alone and Abraham is ready to quit his job - a task proving to be difficult due to the company's tactics. The combination of grief and the lack of empathy from his adult children have him ready to quit life, also.

Meet the Evil Legion of Evil: evil yet beautiful space princesses; international lords of hate; one brain in a jar; and the Supreme Dark Lord himself, super-nerd Vox Day. Who would dare attack these frightful folk? The brave men and women of the Puppy Kickers. Safely entrenched in their safe zones, they lash out the only way they can: through proxies, slander, and calling out SWAT teams. Will the Puppies be SWATted once and for all? Or will the Puppy Kickers learn that these puppies bite back?

Adam is the first human being all alone in the Garden of Eden. He has everything he needs, but he sure is lonely. One morning he awakens to find his body flayed open. Could it be kidney thieves? No, God has stolen a rib to make him a companion. Why he couldn't have just made Eve out of dirt like Adam was, is beyond him. Adam and Eve are living in relative peace in Paradise until trouble comes to the Garden in the form of a snake.

Strange Tales of the Curiously Uncommon is a collection of darkly humorous short stories, each with a cunning twist in the tale. When extraordinary events befall some of London's most ordinary of inhabitants, unexpected turns lead to some witty, strange, sometimes shocking yet ultimately gratifying results.

George Walther Stott was the richest and most hated man in Stottington, and his three children grew up to be almost as hated as he was. As he took his final breath, George Walther died of natural causes with a smile on his face. For even though he was passing on, he would have the last laugh. His children, those appalling mumblecrusting jizzbags who seeped forth from his former wife's formerly perfect vagina, would only inherit his massive wealth on one condition. That they solve his murder.

Dr. Ed's head is spinning: a long-lost 'son' has just been sent over to his office by the temp agency, his shopping-addicted wife seems to have disappeared, and the clinical trial that he is running for a revolutionary new anti-depressant might well be going off the rails. But we needn't worry about Dr. Ed: he is in control of everything, including himself.

When a leftwing activist from the Nixon era morphs into a conservative writer of political incorrectness, can she ever escape the evil eye of the establishment? Political winds may shift but some things never change. If you pull on the dragon's tail, you'd best be ready to take some heat. Kate is no stranger to a jail cell, but she thought she got past that four decades ago. Then again, in a world run amuck with knife brandishing jihadists spilling from their sharia zones, maybe a jail cell is the safest place to be.

The Cooks didn't care much for the cats swarming in from the abandoned sections of used-up coal refineries, invading their little slice of paradise with multitudes of nightmarish felines with strange glowing green eyes. What do these strays want? And why won't they go away? The Cooks will learn that some cats just want to watch the world burn.

Three homeless men are squatting in a stranger's house for the week, only to find not everything is as it seems.

Hank Fitzpatrick's life is what you might expect from a manchild stumbling his way from his teens to his thirties in small town Indiana: hypersexual, drunk, stoned, prone to fits of spontaneous masturbation, occasionally Catholic, and accidentally well-intentioned. Caught in the crossfire of raging hormones, bad decisions and family tragedy, Hank is just a boy not yet ready to be a man.

Armed with the emotional mayhem inherited from their parents as well as compounded pressures involving a depraved headmaster, clandestine affairs, and Victoria's male-hating mother, The Children of the Roses presents a gripping story of the lengths to which parents will go to protect their children. Little more than a child herself, Josh's ever-sympathetic and overstuffed sister, Evie, lavishes her "food is love" obsession on her beloved niece and nephew, who are coping with their own sense of loss.

The TGSPGoSSP is a bit of a comedic acting troupe. Their 2-Part Trilogy mocks our beloved niches in genre fiction. All three books take the usual shots at the usual suspects, both fantasy and sci-fi. If you like dark, deadpan humor and satire such as Monty Python, this title might be your cup of tea.

Benjy Ballou lives in Smiles, Pennsylvania and is the best little boy in all the world. One might almost call him unbearably good. He's such a very good boy he gets an extra-special wish from a Good Fairy! And oh, what a wish....

Whit had done everything right, but when the world seems against you, can good boys stay good? Whit never drank in excess, never said a bad word to anyone, did his taxes, even called his mom on Sundays, never even had a tattoo...until one night, the night a malicious clown turned everything upside down.

My name is Troy Babilonia, but I'm best known as Babu, a renowned literary critic with my own online column. I'm followed by thousands! I'm a living god in the literary world. I have no filter, and for that my flock of humble followers are forever grateful. If it weren't for me, they wouldn't know what to read. I have zero tolerance for weak-minded attention seekers, nor do I have respect for the self-proclaimed geniuses of the indie world. My advice to all indie authors is to never break the cardinal rule in this cutthroat business. Ever.

It's the end of the 80s, and Rachael O'Brien's last year of college, but before classes begin, her grandmother's stately home is burgled, and a rare book of prophecies is defaced with a menacing message threatening the family.

This is a touching coming-of-age tale about a young man struggling to deal with his father's cancer diagnosis. As Dad edges ever closer to his destiny, the relationship with his son reaches boiling point, but how will their final encounter pan out? Gently fusing the humorous with the tragic, this London-based drama will have you crying both tears of joy and sadness.

The follow-up to Matt Shaw's Bite-Size: A Collection of Short Stories. Hear five more previously unpublished short stories from one of Britain's most warped imaginations.