This week I'm connecting two ideas: my Breaking the Fourth Wall concept and Brené Brown's research on fitting in versus belonging.

Brené's research found something surprising, fitting in and belonging are not the same thing. Fitting in is actually the greatest barrier to belonging. It's a survival strategy: reading the room and becoming who you need to be to get accepted. Belonging is the opposite. It's internal, it's unconditional, and it doesn't ask you to change who you are.

I dig into why this matters for leaders who want more self-confidence, what Brené's research says about belonging and standing alone, and how this connects directly to why breaking the fourth wall on your team matters.

This week's tip: Notice when you're fitting in. Notice when you're getting smaller. And when you catch it, name the fear, then say the thing anyway.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Brené Brown: The Call to Courage (Netflix)
• Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
• Dare to Lead by Brené Brown

Go back and listen to last week's episode on Breaking the Fourth Wall if you haven't already.

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Taking Intentional Action: How to Choose the Life You Lead

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This podcast for managers is here to help you:

• Grow your leadership development
• Navigate team management with confidence
• Learn how to handle conflict at work
• Apply real, practical leadership tips

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You don't have to wait for anyone to go first. You get to choose to be the first.

In this episode, Desiree gives you a sneak peek into her brand new keynote, Breaking the Fourth Wall. It's a three-part approach to building trust with your team, and the starting point might surprise you.

If your team has lost some ownership, engagement, or hope, this episode gets at the real reason why. Desiree opens with a personal story that reframes what leadership actually requires, then gets into why self-awareness is rarer than most leaders think and why even smart, capable people avoid difficult conversations at work.

This is workplace communication and team accountability explained in a way you can actually use, whether you're leading two people or two hundred.

What You'll Learn

• The real reason 95% of people believe they're self-aware and only 10-15% actually are
• What's actually killing trust on your team before you even notice it's gone
• Why your team avoids hard conversations at work (it's probably not the reason you think)
• The three C's Desiree uses to help leaders rebuild trust, starting with themselves

CTA

If your team is dealing with a lack of ownership, engagement, or hope, send Desiree an email. She'll help you figure out what rebuilding trust could look like for your specific team.

Hit follow or subscribe wherever you listen so you don't miss next week's episode, where Desiree dives deeper into the candor piece of this framework and breaks down how to make hard conversations easier.

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Taking Intentional Action: How to Choose the Life You Lead

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This podcast for managers is here to help you:

• Grow your leadership development
• Navigate team management with confidence
• Learn how to handle conflict at work
• Apply real, practical leadership tips

If this episode helped you:

Share it with anoth...

Some goals only get built because someone else believed in them first.

This week's tip is simple: share your BHAG. Your Big Hairy Audacious Goal. The one you've been sitting on, half-convinced it's too big to say out loud.

Desiree shares the origin story of the Intentional Leader Summit, a leadership development conference that started as a passing comment to a pastor she was working with. No funding. No real plan. Just an idea spoken out loud, and someone willing to say "let's do it."

That summit is now in its third year, with over 200 attendees and 30 sponsorship companies, proof that big goals rarely grow in isolation. They grow when someone else gets to believe in them before you fully believe in them yourself.

If you've got a goal you've been keeping to yourself, this episode is your nudge to say it out loud.

What You'll Learn

• Why speaking your goal out loud creates momentum silence never will
• How the Intentional Leader Summit grew from a passing comment into a 200+ person leadership development conference
• What it looks like to let someone believe in your goal before you believe in it yourself
• Why staying quiet about your ambitions can be the very thing holding them back

Call to Action
Have a BHAG you've been keeping to yourself? Hit reply on this week's newsletter and tell Desiree what it is. Let's cheer you on.

Links

• Intentional Leader Summit
• Desiree's website

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Taking Intentional Action: How to Choose the Life You Lead

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This podcast for managers is here to help you:

• Grow your leadership development
• Navigate team management with confidence
• Learn how to handle conflict at work
• Apply real, practical leadership tips

If this episode helped you:

Share it with anoth...

Confidence gets talked about like it's something you're either born with or you're not. Extroverts have it, introverts don't. Some people just have "it" and some people never will.

In this episode of You're the Boss, Now What?, Desiree Petrich pushes back on that idea completely. After coaching and speaking to thousands of leaders, she's found that self-leadership, not team dynamics, is usually the number one thing leaders want to work on. Not better meetings. Not less conflict. Confidence. The ability to speak up, to lead with executive presence, to trust their own decisions.

This episode is about leadership development from the inside out. Five common beliefs about confident leaders get named, challenged, and turned into something usable.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why the belief that confident leaders "don't let criticism get to them" is actually working against your growth, and the blue hair story that makes it click
• How to use the question "what if I'm the problem?" as a tool for better decisions, not self-doubt
• Why comparison isn't the thief of joy when you use it on purpose, and how a DISC assessment changed the way Desiree leads
• The real difference between confidence and arrogance, and how imposter syndrome hides behind both
• Why your confidence at work is just your confidence at home wearing different clothes, and what that means for your leadership mindset

Whether you're managing a small team or leading an entire department, this episode reframes what leadership development actually requires. It's not about looking like you have it together. It's about knowing yourself well enough to lead like you mean it.

If this episode helped you rethink what confident leadership looks like:
Follow or subscribe wherever you listen so you don't miss Monday's leadership tip or next week's episode, where Desiree shares her brand new keynote concept, Breaking the Fourth Wall: The Secret to Building High Trust Teams.

Want more leadership coaching and self-leadership tools in your inbox?
https://desireepetrich.com/#newsletter

Join Desiree live at the Intentional Leader Summit in Marshall, or grab your copy of her book, Taking Intentional Action, to go deeper on the philosophy behind this episode.

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Taking Intentional Action: How to Choose the Life You Lead

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This podcast for managers is here to help you:

• Grow your leadership development
• Navigate team management with confidence
• Learn how to handle conflict at work
• Apply real, practical leadership tips

If this episode helped you:

Share it with anoth...

In this episode:

• Why pressure and high expectations aren't the enemy, they can actually fuel more energy
• The trap of hitting a goal and immediately moving to the next one without stopping to notice it
• Desiree's three things she chose to be proud of this week, and why she almost skipped the exercise
• Why saying "I'm proud of myself" out loud isn't selfish, it's leadership
• How your confidence gives other people permission to feel theirs

Try this:
List one to three things you're proud of this week. Say it out loud. Share it with someone.

Connect with Desiree:
Send her a message on LinkedIn or drop a comment on the episode
Sign up for the weekly newsletter (link in show notes)

Sign up for Desiree's Weekly newsletter

Take the DISC or Working Genius Assessment and get a FREE 20 minutes debrief with Desiree

Taking Intentional Action: How to Choose the Life You Lead

Connect: Linked In | Instagram | Website

This podcast for managers is here to help you:

• Grow your leadership development
• Navigate team management with confidence
• Learn how to handle conflict at work
• Apply real, practical leadership tips

If this episode helped you:

Share it with anoth...

AI isn't coming for your job. But it is changing what leadership looks like.

In this episode, Desiree sits down with Monica Marquez, founder of FlipWork, to talk about the human side of AI adoption. Monica breaks down why so many leaders feel behind, what your "zone of genius" actually means, and why delegation (yes, the same skill you use with your team) is now the skill that separates leaders who thrive with AI from leaders who get replaced by it.

What You'll Learn:

• Why delegation is now an AI skill, not just a people skill
• The four AI archetypes (and how to spot which one you are)
• How to use AI without losing your critical thinking
• Why "showing the long division" is the key to trustworthy AI output
• What AI will never be able to replace in leadership

Call to Action:
Curious where you land on the AI readiness spectrum? Take Monica's free Flip Factor assessment at flipfactor.ai and find out if you're an Explorer, Pioneer, Guardian, or Orchestrator.

Links Mentioned:

• Take the Flip Factor Assessment
• Monica Marques Ay Ay Ay AI! Newsletter
• Connect with Monica on LinkedIn

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Take the DISC or Working Genius Assessment and get a FREE 20 minutes debrief with Desiree

Taking Intentional Action: How to Choose the Life You Lead

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This podcast for managers is here to help you:

• Grow your leadership development
• Navigate team management with confidence
• Learn how to handle conflict at work
• Apply real, practical leadership tips

If this episode helped you:

Share it with anoth...

This week's tip is simple: stop waiting for permission to enjoy your own life. Desiree shares a personal story about her garden, some ceramic mushrooms, and the "mad libs excuse" that almost kept her from adding a little joy to her everyday.

• Why "when this happens, I'll do that" is a trap (aka the mad libs excuse)
• The moment after her mom passed that changed how she looks for joy
• A simple, low-effort way to bring more whimsy into your daily life
• The question to ask yourself about what you're waiting for permission to do

What's one small thing you've been putting off just for you? Add it this week. Let it make you smile.

Links & Resources

• Buy Desiree's Book - Taking Intentional Action: How to Choose the Life You Lead
• Connect with Desiree on Linkedin

Sign up for Desiree's Weekly newsletter

Take the DISC or Working Genius Assessment and get a FREE 20 minutes debrief with Desiree

Taking Intentional Action: How to Choose the Life You Lead

Connect: Linked In | Instagram | Website

This podcast for managers is here to help you:

• Grow your leadership development
• Navigate team management with confidence
• Learn how to handle conflict at work
• Apply real, practical leadership tips

If this episode helped you:

Share it with anoth...

Do you avoid hard conversations, or handle them so bluntly they backfire?

In this episode, Desiree read the book Radical Candor by Kim Scott, so you don't have to.

This episode breaks down the framework from Kim Scott's Radical Candor, the one Desiree teaches more than almost anything else with the leaders she coaches.

In this episode:

• The four types of feedback, and which one is quietly wrecking your team's trust
• Why "good intentions don't erase bad impact"
• The order most leaders get backwards when resolving conflict at work
• Rock stars vs superstars at work - is it a season, or a category?

One question to try before your next hard conversation: am I about to avoid this, or am I about to be harsh about it?

Links mentioned in this episode:

• Radical Candor Framework
• Buy Radical Candor on Amazon
• Podcast Episode on the Ideal Team Player by Patrick Lencioni
• Sign up for the newsletter at desireepetrich.com under the resources tab

Sign up for Desiree's Weekly newsletter

Take the DISC or Working Genius Assessment and get a FREE 20 minutes debrief with Desiree

Taking Intentional Action: How to Choose the Life You Lead

Connect: Linked In | Instagram | Website

This podcast for managers is here to help you:

• Grow your leadership development
• Navigate team management with confidence
• Learn how to handle conflict at work
• Apply real, practical leadership tips

If this episode helped you:

Share it with anoth...