Struggling to unplug, set boundaries, or move your body after a long day? This Ask Me Anything episode tackles three of the biggest challenges new managers face with actionable mindset shifts and tools that make a real difference.

Ever feel like your brain won’t shut off even when your body’s ready to?
You're not alone.

In today’s Ask Me Anything episode, we’re diving into three of the most common challenges high-achieving professionals face in leadership: setting boundaries without guilt, finding motivation for movement when you’re exhausted, and learning how to truly unplug your mind after work.

If you’ve ever struggled with managing conflict between work and personal life, building trust as a leader through example, or figuring out how to stop feeling overwhelmed as a manager, this episode is for you.

We’ll unpack the real reasons behind your exhaustion and guilt, explore mindset shifts for sustainable leadership, and teach you how to lead yourself better so you can show up stronger for your team and family.

By the time you finish listening, you’ll learn:

• How to set boundaries as a new leader (without feeling guilty)
• What to do when your brain won’t shut off at night
• How to motivate yourself to move your body, even on your most exhausting days

You’ll also hear my favorite mindset trick for reframing productivity, plus a simple shutdown routine that helps your brain and body disconnect after work.

Want help figuring out your Working Genius or DISC style? Head to intentionalaction.net/self-awareness to take your assessment and book a free debrief with me. Knowing your genius zones is the first step to building a cohesive team and taking intentional action in your leadership role.

Topics discussed in this episode: new manager tips, how to set boundaries as a leader, how to delegate, building trust as a leader, how to stop feeling overwhelmed as a manager, managing conflict, executive presence, high-performing team, team building for new managers, imposter syndrome in leadership, how to hold employees accountable, how to unplug from work, shutdown routine, Working Genius, DISC assessment, having hard conversations as a leader

Connect With Desiree on Linkedin
Buy the book - Taking Intentional Action: How to Choose the Life You Lead

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Take the DISC or Working Genius Assessment and get a FREE 20 minutes debrief with Desiree

Get a curated list of Desiree's favorite books in every genre

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• Get the Foundation of Self Framework
• Take your personality assessment

Resilience isn’t just something you build after a crisis. In this episode, you’ll learn how to strengthen your mindset, build emotional stamina, and proactively prepare for life’s hard moments, so you can handle them with more calm, clarity, and confidence.

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Do you only feel strong after everything falls apart?

Resilience isn’t something we should only discover when we’re forced to. Whether you’re leading a team or simply trying to lead yourself through tough seasons, this episode will help you understand what it means to build resilience on purpose.

From personal challenges to professional growth, we talk about what it means to face discomfort with intention, how to shift your mindset, and how to strengthen your habits now—before the pressure hits.

You’ll also hear the study that blew my mind about dopamine, discipline, and why your brain actually feels better when you do hard things first.

By the time you finish listening, you’ll learn:

• The difference between reactive and proactive resilience and why it matters in every area of life
• Three ways to build resilience daily by leaning into discomfort
• How doing hard things first actually boosts your brain’s dopamine response
• How personality assessments helped me face hard truths and can help you too

Want to figure out where you're getting in your own way?
Take a personality assessment at intentionalaction.net/self-awareness and get a free 30-minute debrief with me. Let’s turn your self-awareness into personal growth and leadership clarity.

Connect With Desiree on Linkedin
Buy the book - Taking Intentional Action: How to Choose the Life You Lead

New manager tips, how to delegate, building trust as a leader, how to hold, employees accountable, managing conflict, executive presence, how to stop feeling overwhelmed as a manager, imposter syndrome in leadership, how to lead a team meeting, cohesive teams, how to fix a toxic culture, high-performing team, team building for new managers, difficult employees, having hard conversations as a leader, how to get promoted into leadership

Elisa Ellis, Founder of Turnkey Style
Visit Elisa's Webiste

Buy the Book: The Style Advantage

Stylist Elisa Ellis shares how what you wear can shift how you lead. Learn how to feel more confident, aligned, and respected—without changing who you are.

Last week we talked about what’s really behind employee disengagement—and how to fix it.

This week, we're diving into something leaders rarely talk about but feel every day: how your clothes impact your confidence and authority at work.

If you’ve ever second-guessed your outfit before a big meeting, felt like you were “faking it” in a blazer, or wondered if what you wear really makes a difference in how your team sees you—this episode is your permission slip to rethink it all.

Wardrobe stylist Elisa Ellis joins me to talk about the mindset and strategy behind dressing with confidence, and why what you wear isn’t about fashion—it’s about energy, presence, and alignment. Whether you're stepping into your first leadership role or simply want to show up more intentionally, Elisa breaks it down with warmth and zero judgment.

Key Takeaways:

• What enclothed cognition is—and how it shapes your confidence and focus as a leader
• Why your “power outfit” doesn’t have to be a blazer (or heels!) to command respect
• How new managers can communicate dress expectations without becoming the “outfit police”

Connect With Desiree on Linkedin
Buy the book - Taking Intentional Action: How to Choose the Life You Lead

New manager tips, how to delegate, building trust as a leader, how to hold, employees accountable, managing conflict, executive presence, how to stop feeling overwhelmed as a manager, imposter syndrome in leadership, how to lead a team meeting, cohesive teams, how to fix a toxic culture, high-performing team, team building for new managers, difficult employees, having hard conversations as a leader, how to get promoted into leadership

Connect with Tessa Kampen on LinkedIn

Buy The Book 6 Types of Working Genius

Take the Working Genius Assessment

Unlock better team communication and self-awareness with the Working Genius framework. In this episode, we break down the 6 types and how understanding your genius can change the way you lead and collaborate.

What if understanding how you work best could completely transform how your team works together?

If you're a new manager trying to lead with confidence, delegate effectively, and reduce frustration on your team, the Working Genius model by Patrick Lencioni might be the missing link. Tessa Kampen joins me for a breakdown of all six types—Wonder, Invention, Discernment, Galvanizing, Enablement, and Tenacity—and why knowing your genius (and your team’s) can instantly improve communication, morale, and productivity.

We also dive into how this framework helps eliminate guilt, reduces judgment on your team, and gives you the language to advocate for what lights you up at work.

By the time you finish listening, you’ll discover:

• How to identify your Genius, Competency, and Frustration—and why it matters
• Why teams struggle to execute great ideas—and what to do about it
• What to say when someone’s working style drives you just a little nuts

new manager tips, leadership podcast, leadership development, team leadership
first-time manager, leadership mindset, how to delegate tasks
,how to stop micromanaging and build trust, developing executive presence for career growth, managing workplace conflict effectively
Pain-point keywords: imposter syndrome in leadership, how to avoid burnout as a leader, practical leadership tips, how to be a leader people actually follow, building trust with your team

Connect With Desiree on Linkedin
Buy the book - Taking Intentional Action: How to Choose the Life You Lead

New manager tips, how to delegate, building trust as a leader, how to hold, employees accountable, managing conflict, executive presence, how to stop feeling overwhelmed as a manager, imposter syndrome in leadership, how to lead a team meeting, cohesive teams, how to fix a toxic culture, high-performing team, team building for new managers, difficult employees, having hard conversations as a leader, how to get promoted into leadership

Hear Scott speak live at the Intentional Leader Summit on August 6th, 2025

Connect with Scott Tillema on Linkedin
Watch Scott's TED Talk: The Secrets of Hostage Negotiators
Recommended Book: Hostage at the Table by George Kohlrieser

Can you lead through conflict—even without trust? Scott Tillema shares hostage negotiation skills that every leader can use to navigate difficult conversations and rebuild trust at work.

What does a hostage negotiator know that can help you manage workplace conflict?

A lot, actually.

In this episode, I’m joined by keynote speaker and former SWAT negotiator Scott Tillema, who brings decades of real-world experience to the conversations leaders dread the most—those awkward, uncomfortable, or downright tense interactions we tend to avoid.

We talk about how to build connection fast (even when trust is gone), what it really means to lead with influence, and why courage—not confidence—is the skill you need to move forward.

And while most of us aren’t trying to talk someone down from a ledge, we are leading people—often without the clarity, tools, or language to move things in the right direction.

If you’ve ever felt stuck between avoiding conflict and wanting a better work culture, this one’s for you.

Key Takeaways

• Why connection—not trust—is the real starting point for influence
• How to coach team members through conflict without being the villain
• What to say to shift someone from combative to collaborative

difficult conversations at work, workplace communication, leadership podcast
new manager tips, managing workplace conflict effectively, how to lead with influence
how to have hard conversations as a manager, conflict resolution strategies for leaders, how to build trust at work after it’s broken

Connect With Desiree on Linkedin
Buy the book - Taking Intentional Action: How to Choose the Life You Lead

New manager tips, how to delegate, building trust as a leader, how to hold, employees accountable, managing conflict, executive presence, how to stop feeling overwhelmed as a manager, imposter syndrome in leadership, how to lead a team meeting, cohesive teams, how to fix a toxic culture, high-performing team, team building for new managers, difficult employees, having hard conversations as a leader, how to get promoted into leadership

• Book List (Leadership, Personal Development, Parenting)
• List of Assessments (Take DISC or Working Genius and get a free coaching debrief!)
• Read the Book: Taking Intentional Action

These 9 life lessons aren’t in a textbook, but they should be. Whether you're a new grad, a new manager, or someone guiding the next generation, this episode helps you grow with purpose, confidence, and self-awareness.

Most of us don’t learn life’s biggest lessons in high school, college, or even from a mentor.
We learn them through awkward conversations, missed opportunities, and figuring it out one hard moment at a time.

This episode is for anyone who’s ever typed “life advice for new graduates,” “how to be more confident,” or “personal development tips” into a search bar. I’m walking you through 9 things I wish someone had told me at 18 (and again at 28).

These are hard-earned lessons about identity, emotional intelligence, self-leadership, confidence, and growing into the kind of person others want to follow. Whether you're stepping into your first leadership role or mentoring someone who is, this episode gives you practical tools to become more self-aware, make better decisions, and build resilience before life forces you to.

It’s everything I wish had been taught in the common sense class we never got.

By the time you finish listening, you’ll learn:

• How to build confidence through action instead of waiting for it to appear
• What it means to frontload your life so you’re ready when things get hard
• Why self-awareness is the most underrated leadership skill
• How to mentor young adults without judgment or frustration
• The mindset shift that changed everything for me: you’re responsible to people, not for them
• 
  

Connect With Desiree on Linkedin
Buy the book - Taking Intentional Action: How to Choose the Life You Lead

New manager tips, how to delegate, building trust as a leader, how to hold, employees accountable, managing conflict, executive presence, how to stop feeling overwhelmed as a manager, imposter syndrome in leadership, how to lead a team meeting, cohesive teams, how to fix a toxic culture, high-performing team, team building for new managers, difficult employees, having hard conversations as a leader, how to get promoted into leadership

If you’ve ever said, “I just need to manage my time better,” or “If they were more efficient, we’d be fine,” this episode is for you.

In today’s conversation, we’re flipping the script on strengths and weaknesses at work. While most people focus on improving tactical skills like organization or productivity, the real game-changer is how we show up relationally. You’ll learn how relational weaknesses, like defensiveness, passive-aggressive behavior, and poor communication, are quietly killing trust and morale on your team, even when everything looks like it’s running smoothly.

Whether you're leading a team or just trying to be a better teammate, this episode will help you see the true cause of disconnection, and what to do about it.

🧠 In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why improving your tactical skills might not fix your team problems
• The difference between tactical and relational strengths and weaknesses
• Real-world relational weaknesses that silently destroy workplace culture
• What it really means to be defensive (and how to shift it)
• Why being approachable matters more than being available
• How to start showing up as a human-centered leader... today

📌 Resources Mentioned:

• Previous episode: Love + Work with Tessa Kampen
• Connect with me on LinkedIn

✅ Subscribe & Review:

If this episode challenged your thinking or gave you something practical to try, I’d love for you to hit subscribe, leave a rating + review, and share it with a teammate who might be focusing on the wrong things.

🔜 Next Week:

We’re taking this conversation one step further. With graduation season in full swing, I’m sharing the hard truths I wish I had learned sooner, about self-discipline, ownership, and what it really means to lead yourself well.

Being the boss is both a privilege and a responsibility. Now what are you going to do with it?

• tactical vs relational strengths
• relational weaknesses in the workplace
• leadership development podcast
• how to improve team dynamics
• building trust at work
• defensive behavior at work
• human-centered leadership
• emotional intelligence in leadership

Connect With Desiree on Linkedin
Buy the book - Taking Intentional Action: How to Choose the Life You Lead

New manager tips, how to delegate, building trust as a leader, how to hold, employees accountable, managing conflict, executive presence, how to stop feeling overwhelmed as a manager, imposter syndrome in leadership, how to lead a team meeting, cohesive teams, how to fix a toxic culture, high-performing team, team building for new managers, difficult employees, having hard conversations as a leader, how to get promoted into leadership

We read the book Love + Work By Marcus Buckingham so you don't have to!

Can you really love your job - or is that just wishful thinking? In this episode, Desiree and guest Tessa Kampen unpack Love + Work by Marcus Buckingham and what it means for new leaders trying to build careers that actually light them up.

Show Notes:
Last week we talked about redefining leadership with Craig Denison - how breaking the mold can make you a stronger, more authentic leader.

This week, we’re asking a question many leaders are afraid to face:

What if you’re succeeding... but in the wrong thing?

In this conversation, Tessa Kampen joins Desiree to break down the lessons inside Marcus Buckingham’s Love + Work and what every leader needs to know about burnout, joy, and doing work that matters.

If you're constantly putting out fires, questioning your path, or wondering why you feel so disconnected even in a “good” job - this episode will hit home.

Spoiler: Joy at work isn’t optional. It’s strategic.

By the time you finish listening, you’ll discover:

• How to identify your “red threads” (and why they’re crucial to career longevity)
• Why only loving 20% of your job can drastically reduce burnout
• What leaders can do today to create more joy and connection on their team

When you finish listening, we'd love to hear your biggest takeaway from today’s episode. Find us on LinkedIn, and share what hit home for you!

Take 30 seconds to ask your team what part of their job they love most - and what they wish they could do more of. The answers might surprise you - and help you lead more effectively.

Guest & Additional Links:
Connect with Desiree and Tessa on LinkedIn
Grab a copy of Love + Work by Marcus Buckingham

Connect With Desiree on Linkedin
Buy the book - Taking Intentional Action: How to Choose the Life You Lead

New manager tips, how to delegate, building trust as a leader, how to hold, employees accountable, managing conflict, executive presence, how to stop feeling overwhelmed as a manager, imposter syndrome in leadership, how to lead a team meeting, cohesive teams, how to fix a toxic culture, high-performing team, team building for new managers, difficult employees, having hard conversations as a leader, how to get promoted into leadership