This week I'm connecting two ideas: my Breaking the Fourth Wall concept and Brené Brown's research on fitting in versus belonging.

Brené's research found something surprising, fitting in and belonging are not the same thing. Fitting in is actually the greatest barrier to belonging. It's a survival strategy: reading the room and becoming who you need to be to get accepted. Belonging is the opposite. It's internal, it's unconditional, and it doesn't ask you to change who you are.

I dig into why this matters for leaders who want more self-confidence, what Brené's research says about belonging and standing alone, and how this connects directly to why breaking the fourth wall on your team matters.

This week's tip: Notice when you're fitting in. Notice when you're getting smaller. And when you catch it, name the fear, then say the thing anyway.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Brené Brown: The Call to Courage (Netflix)
• Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
• Dare to Lead by Brené Brown

Go back and listen to last week's episode on Breaking the Fourth Wall if you haven't already.

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Taking Intentional Action: How to Choose the Life You Lead

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This podcast for managers is here to help you:

• Grow your leadership development
• Navigate team management with confidence
• Learn how to handle conflict at work
• Apply real, practical leadership tips

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You don't have to wait for anyone to go first. You get to choose to be the first.

In this episode, Desiree gives you a sneak peek into her brand new keynote, Breaking the Fourth Wall. It's a three-part approach to building trust with your team, and the starting point might surprise you.

If your team has lost some ownership, engagement, or hope, this episode gets at the real reason why. Desiree opens with a personal story that reframes what leadership actually requires, then gets into why self-awareness is rarer than most leaders think and why even smart, capable people avoid difficult conversations at work.

This is workplace communication and team accountability explained in a way you can actually use, whether you're leading two people or two hundred.

What You'll Learn

• The real reason 95% of people believe they're self-aware and only 10-15% actually are
• What's actually killing trust on your team before you even notice it's gone
• Why your team avoids hard conversations at work (it's probably not the reason you think)
• The three C's Desiree uses to help leaders rebuild trust, starting with themselves

CTA

If your team is dealing with a lack of ownership, engagement, or hope, send Desiree an email. She'll help you figure out what rebuilding trust could look like for your specific team.

Hit follow or subscribe wherever you listen so you don't miss next week's episode, where Desiree dives deeper into the candor piece of this framework and breaks down how to make hard conversations easier.

Sign up for Desiree's Weekly newsletter

Take the DISC or Working Genius Assessment and get a FREE 20 minutes debrief with Desiree

Taking Intentional Action: How to Choose the Life You Lead

Connect: Linked In | Instagram | Website

This podcast for managers is here to help you:

• Grow your leadership development
• Navigate team management with confidence
• Learn how to handle conflict at work
• Apply real, practical leadership tips

If this episode helped you:

Share it with anoth...

Some goals only get built because someone else believed in them first.

This week's tip is simple: share your BHAG. Your Big Hairy Audacious Goal. The one you've been sitting on, half-convinced it's too big to say out loud.

Desiree shares the origin story of the Intentional Leader Summit, a leadership development conference that started as a passing comment to a pastor she was working with. No funding. No real plan. Just an idea spoken out loud, and someone willing to say "let's do it."

That summit is now in its third year, with over 200 attendees and 30 sponsorship companies, proof that big goals rarely grow in isolation. They grow when someone else gets to believe in them before you fully believe in them yourself.

If you've got a goal you've been keeping to yourself, this episode is your nudge to say it out loud.

What You'll Learn

• Why speaking your goal out loud creates momentum silence never will
• How the Intentional Leader Summit grew from a passing comment into a 200+ person leadership development conference
• What it looks like to let someone believe in your goal before you believe in it yourself
• Why staying quiet about your ambitions can be the very thing holding them back

Call to Action
Have a BHAG you've been keeping to yourself? Hit reply on this week's newsletter and tell Desiree what it is. Let's cheer you on.

Links

• Intentional Leader Summit
• Desiree's website

Sign up for Desiree's Weekly newsletter

Take the DISC or Working Genius Assessment and get a FREE 20 minutes debrief with Desiree

Taking Intentional Action: How to Choose the Life You Lead

Connect: Linked In | Instagram | Website

This podcast for managers is here to help you:

• Grow your leadership development
• Navigate team management with confidence
• Learn how to handle conflict at work
• Apply real, practical leadership tips

If this episode helped you:

Share it with anoth...