This isn’t closure it’s ignition. Season one closer from a lake in L.A. with the sun on my back and Teddy by my side. I look back at where this experiment started (Texas → Arizona → here) and what it’s been all about: living inside paradox and letting that space make us more alive. Presence, uncertainty, contradiction, and the messy, gorgeous practice of staying here now even when it’s hard as fuck.

This episode is a reflection, a love note, and a challenge: how alive do you want to feel? How free? I talk meditation, story-breaking, self-soothing, conflict as intimacy—and why we don’t have to wait for the world to get its shit together, or for our grief and struggles to disappear, before claiming joy and aliveness right now.

And because life loves a plot twist there’s even a lost keys saga at the very end that turned into a real-time parable about slowing down, trust, and providence.

Take what resonates, leave the rest. Season two lands October 9th.

Until then: stay present, stay ungovernable, and hold the paradox—because that shit is magic.

xSylvia

PS: In case you need a reminder of what holding the paradox means :)

• Not collapsing into either/or. Most of us want clean binaries—good/bad, right/wrong, here/there. Holding paradox means resisting that collapse and being able to sit with both at once.

  • Example: “I feel grief and joy at the same time.” Instead of erasing one, you hold them together.

    
    

• Staying present with contradiction without forcing resolution. It’s a refusal to rush into false closure just to ease discomfort.

  • Example: Being heartbroken about the world and alive with gratitude for a morning walk or whatever you fancy. You don’t have to pick one reality.

    
    

• Trusting that the tension itself is generative. The paradox is not a problem to be solved but a space where life, insight, and freedom happen.

  • Example: The season’s thesis—fuck the finish line—you don’t need to “get there” because the paradox of being both lost and found is where vitality lives.

    
    

So when I say “hold the paradox,” I’m suggesting it as a kind of compass: don’t fix it, don’t escape it, don’t smooth it over. Stay with it. Carry it. Let it pierce you. Let it open you. Over and over and over again…

Season one teaser.

Our entire unedited conversation in Zoomland, for better or for worse. You're welcome.

This week, I finally deliver on my promise to bring you a guest—and not just any guest. Amy Landecker is a force: actor, writer, director, and fierce advocate for the queer community and more. You’ve seen her in Transparent, Your Honor, and now as the writer/director/star of her feature debut For Worse (premiering Valentine’s Day Weekend 2026).

In our unedited, no-filter conversation, we go everywhere: life, death, intuition, sobriety, the binary, politics, why art matters, apologizing when we fuck up, how being down to not know is good for our love lives and art, the play she’s starring in this fall (⁠Caroline at the MMC Theater in NYC⁠), and how friends and lovers “don’t meet somewhere—they are in each other all along” (thanks, Rumi).

We also quickly shout out ⁠Brave Trails⁠, an incredible queer non-profit creating safe, empowering spaces for LGBTQ+ youth. Look them up, send your kids, or donate if you can.

Watch this week’s episode on ⁠Youtube⁠ or listen wherever you get your podcasts.

Most importantly, stay ungovernable and incorruptible—because fuck fascism. Am I right? Right.

xSylv