What if your nervous system isn’t the problem—just the scripts it’s been forced to follow?

In this episode of Untamed Ember, Dr. Misty takes us deep into the erotic brain to unpack how binary gender roles confuse our arousal systems and disconnect us from pleasure. From polyvagal theory to sensory nuance, this one’s for the rebels, the neurospicy babes, and the caretakers who are tired of performing “sexy” instead of feeling it.

✨ Inside this episode:
– The four things your brain actually needs for arousal
– How masking and performance override your nervous system
– Why desire looks different when you're neurodivergent
– What to ask yourself when you’re stuck in a role that doesn’t fit

Plus: Listener letters from “M” and “Jordan” that hit right in the chest.
And a companion worksheet that helps you unmask your real erotic self—available now in The Ember Vault.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why binary sexual roles disrupt the nervous system

• The science behind safety, novelty, stimulation, and attunement

• How the Dual Control Model explains desire for neurodivergent folks

• What happens when sex becomes emotional labor instead of embodied connection

• Queer relationship dynamics and the haunting echo of gendered scripts

• A letter from “Jordan” about losing touch with real desire after years of performance

Grab the worksheet: Binary Thinking & the Erotic Identity Crisis → Available inside The Ember Vault
Submit your own question: hello@untamedember.com (anonymity welcome!)

• (00:00:00) - Intro: Your brain doesn’t care about gender roles
• (00:01:22) - Why binary roles confuse the erotic brain
• (00:03:08) - The 4 keys of arousal: Safety, Novelty, Stimulation, Attunement
• (00:09:00) - Story of “M”: Performance vs Presence
• (00:12:45) - Queer folks + the haunting of roles we didn’t choose
• (00:15:10) - Listener letter from “Jordan” and the blank space of truth
• (00:17:25) - This week’s worksheet + closing reminders

What if your low libido isn’t about dysfunction—it’s about burnout from playing someone else’s fantasy?

In this episode of Untamed Ember, Dr. Misty burns the binary gender rulebook to the ground and shares a personal story of erotic self-abandonment, performance pressure, and what happens when we confuse dominance with power. We’ll unpack how gender roles are quietly killing desire—for everyone—and explore what it means to step outside the script and tune into your actual wants.

✨ Plus:
– Juicy reflection prompts
– A listener letter that hits hard
– A companion worksheet inside The Ember Vault: Unscripted and Unbothered: Dismantling the Gender Role Turn-Off

This isn’t about being more confident. It’s about being more you.

In this episode:

• Why “doing everything right” still left Dr. Misty feeling numb in bed

• The subtle ways gender scripts hijack our desire

• A breakdown of Victorian purity culture + modern expectations

• What to do when your body checks out before you do

• A listener story (hi Sam!) that captures exactly what erotic exhaustion looks like

• Journal questions to unlearn performative sex roles

• This week’s exclusive worksheet inside The Ember Vault

Got a question for the podcast?
Email hello@untamedember.com (anonymous welcome!)

• (00:00:00) - Intro: Your sex drive isn’t broken—it’s exhausted
• (00:01:42) - Storytime: When dominance became dissociation
• (00:05:09) - The trap of gender roles in bed
• (00:07:45) - Cultural roots of sexual performance scripts
• (00:09:10) - What happens in your body when desire becomes obligation
• (00:10:20) - Listener letter: “What if I don’t know what I want anymore?”
• (00:12:30) - This week’s reflection questions
• (00:13:40) - Your reminder: You’re not too much—you’re done performing

If you’ve ever dissociated mid-orgasm, gone numb during touch, or hyper-focused on your partner’s reaction instead of your own desire—this one’s for you. In this unapologetically nerdy and delightfully rebellious episode, Dr. Misty unpacks how shame hijacks your senses and rewires your brain to flinch away from pleasure.

We’re diving deep into the sexy side of neuroscience: trauma brains, vagus nerves, polyvagal theory, and why your erotic disconnection is not dysfunction—it’s adaptation. And most importantly, how to gently, playfully, rebelliously rewire your erotic brain using the magic of neuroplasticity and some juicy sensory rituals.

Expect brain science, somatic tips, shade at purity culture, and a permission slip to moan at your snacks.

✨ Companion worksheet inside The Ember Vault:
“F*ck Around and Find Out (What Feels Good)”

• (00:00:00) - Opening: Glitter, Science & Shamelessness
• (00:01:08) - Shame Isn’t a Feeling—It’s a Nervous System Hijack
• (00:04:38) - Polyvagal Theory & Why You Might Freeze During Sex
• (00:07:56) - Sensory Disconnection Isn’t Dysfunction—It’s a Coping Strategy
• (00:11:02) - Rewiring the Erotic Brain: Neuroplasticity Is Hot
• (00:14:45) - Your Pleasure Was Never the Problem
• (00:15:50) - Ember Vault Plug + Sensory Worksheet
• (00:16:30) - Reflection Prompt + Sign-Off

You weren’t born hating your thighs. That sht was planted—fertilized with shame, wrapped in diet tips, and handed to you like a cursed heirloom. In this fire-starting episode of Untamed Ember, Dr. Misty pulls back the curtain on the cultural, colonial, ableist, and neurotypical scripts that taught us our bodies were problems to fix—not magic to celebrate. From makeover montages to religious guilt trips, we explore the real origins of body shame and the billion-dollar industries that keep it alive. If you’ve ever shrunk yourself to fit the frame, this one’s your permission slip to burn the fcking script.

Topics include:

• The colonial roots of fatphobia and thinness as "virtue"

• How ableism and neurotypical norms silence desire

• The makeover trope and other pop culture betrayals

• Why shame is industrialized, not personal

• How to remember who you were before the edits

✨ Includes a bold worksheet inside The Ember Vault: “Who Wrote This Bullsht?”*

• (00:00:00) - Opening + Glitter-Fueled Mission Statement
• (00:01:10) - Where the Shrink Script Came From
• (00:04:25) - The Media’s Role in Writing Our Shame
• (00:07:08) - Shame in Disguise
• (00:09:20) - You Are Not the *EFFING* Problem
• (00:11:35) - Ember Vault Plug + Reflection Prompt
• (00:12:30) - Sign-Off: Stay Wild. Stay Loud. Stay Ember.

Purity culture isn’t just morally outdated—it’s neurologically confusing. In this raw and science-backed episode, Dr. Misty breaks down how sexual shame hijacks your nervous system, floods your brain with cortisol, and turns pleasure into a threat. From brain chemistry to personal stories of dissociation and healing, you’ll learn why your body might resist the very thing you crave—and how to gently reclaim safety, desire, and presence in pleasure.

Includes a reflection prompt and a companion worksheet inside The Ember Society for deeper healing and erotic rewiring.

Episode 8: Your Brain on Purity Culture (It’s Not a Vibe)
Theme: The neurobiology of shame and why pleasure feels dangerous when it shouldn’t

In This Episode:

• What shame does to your brain (hello, amygdala and cortisol)

• How purity culture wires your nervous system for fear

• Why shame is self-policing—and who benefits from that

• Dr. Misty's personal story of dissociating during sex (and healing from it)

• How erotic safety is built through presence, not performance

This Week’s Journal Prompt:

What moments in your life have taught your body that pleasure isn’t safe?

And how might you start building micro-moments of safety—not perfection, not performance—just one extra second of aliveness?

Companion Worksheet: “Shame in the Body, Safety in the Senses”
Available inside The Ember Society
You’ll get:
✅ A body mapping exercise for shame and safety
✅ Sensory pleasure prompts to rewire the nervous system
✅ Journal questions to explore performance vs presence

️ Join here → members.untamedember.com

Untamed Ember is the podcast for erotic liberation nerds ready to burn shame and reclaim pleasure.
Subscribe, leave a review, and send this to the friend who still thinks orgasms are “for marriage only.” (We’ll fix that.)

• (00:00:10) - Intro: Purity Culture and a Caffeinated Sex Therapist
• (00:00:59) - Your Brain on Shame: Cortisol, Chaos, and Church Guilt
• (00:02:02) - Control, Guilt, and the Beige Cardigan Agenda
• (00:02:46) - Pleasure Rewiring: Why Dr. Misty Dissociated During Sex
• (00:04:07) - Key Takeaways: Reclaiming Pleasure Is a Body-Based Rebellion
• (00:04:32) - Reflection Prompt: When Did Pleasure Stop Feeling Safe?
• (00:04:58) - Worksheet Plug: “Shame in the Body, Safety in the Senses”
• (00:05:25) - Sign-Off: You’re Not Broken—You’re Brilliantly Adapted

Who the hell gave the patriarchy a mic—and why is he still talking? In this fiery and unfiltered episode, Dr. Misty traces how religion, colonization, and white supremacy shaped our most shame-filled beliefs about sex and pleasure. From demonizing desire to rewriting sexual freedom as deviance, this episode is a wild ride through history, rage, and radical reclamation. You’ll laugh, you’ll learn, and you’ll probably want to light something on fire (metaphorically… probably).

Includes a reflection prompt + exclusive worksheet for deeper unlearning inside The Ember Society.

Episode 7: Who Mic’d Up the Church, the Colonizers, and the Creepy Uncle?
Theme: How history, religion, and white supremacy created today’s sexual expectations

In This Episode:

• How religion made orgasms feel like sin

• Why colonizers erased Indigenous sexual joy

• The phrase “Less is Morally Superior” and how it f*cks us up

• The real reason shame was invented (hint: it’s about power)

• Why pleasure is a form of rebellion

This Week’s Journal Prompt:

What’s one belief you were taught about sex, gender, or pleasure that didn’t come from you—but you still carry it?
Who put that idea in your head? Do you even want it there anymore?

Companion Worksheet: “Unlearning the Inherited Script”
Available exclusively inside The Ember Society
You'll get:
✅ A deep dive into where your sexual beliefs originated
✅ Tools to identify shame patterns in your body
✅ A guided process to rewrite your erotic narrative on your own terms

Join here → members.untamedember.com

Let’s Get Real About Sex, Shame, and Why Your Ex Was Probably the Problem.
Subscribe, share, and leave a review if today’s episode lit something up for you.

• (00:00:10) - Intro: Who Gave the Patriarchy a Microphone?
• (00:00:58) - Sex Ed from the Church Basement (If You Orgasm, Satan Wins)
• (00:02:16) - Colonization and the Sexual Censorship Industrial Complex™
• (00:03:07) - Who Let the Patriarchy Into the Group Chat?
• (00:04:10) - Key Takeaways: Shame Was Never About Protecting You
• (00:04:55) - Reflection Prompt: Who Put That Idea in Your Head?
• (00:05:12) - Worksheet: Unlearning the Inherited Script
• (00:05:39) - Sign-Off: You Never Had to Earn Your Pleasure

In this episode of the Untamed Ember podcast, Dr. Misty Gibson explores the concept of the 'pleasure ceiling'—a subconscious limit that prevents individuals from fully experiencing pleasure and intimacy. She discusses the reasons behind this disconnection, shares personal experiences, and offers practical strategies to help listeners stretch their capacity for pleasure. The episode emphasizes the importance of recognizing patterns of disconnection and encourages listeners to embrace vulnerability and self-acceptance in their journey towards enjoying life more fully.

00:00 Understanding the Pleasure Ceiling
04:18 Identifying Signs of the Pleasure Ceiling
06:20 Personal Reflections on Pleasure
08:52 Strategies for Stretching Your Pleasure Ceiling
11:00 Building a Community of Support

Learning to stay with pleasure is powerful.
The pleasure ceiling is a subconscious threshold.
Your nervous system protects you from unfamiliar pleasure.
Functional discomfort keeps you in a familiar zone.
Recognizing your pleasure ceiling is the first step to change.
You are not alone in feeling disconnected from pleasure.
Stretching your pleasure ceiling takes time and patience.
Simple practices can help you stay present in pleasure.
Building capacity for joy is a gradual process.
Community support can enhance your journey towards pleasure.

In this episode of the Untamed Ember podcast, Dr. Misty Gibson explores the pervasive myth that pleasure must be earned. She discusses how societal and cultural narratives shape our understanding of pleasure and rest, emphasizing that pleasure is a birthright rather than a reward. Dr. Gibson shares personal experiences and practical strategies for integrating pleasure into daily life, encouraging listeners to reclaim their right to feel good without guilt. The episode concludes with an invitation to prioritize pleasure in everyday moments.

00:00 Introduction to the Untamed Ember Podcast
01:02 The Myth of Earned Pleasure
04:39 Consequences of Starving Ourselves of Pleasure
06:31 Practicing Pleasure Without Earning It
09:57 Reframing Guilt and Reclaiming Pleasure

Pleasure is a birthright, not a reward.
Cultural narratives often dictate our relationship with pleasure.
Rest should not be seen as a reward for productivity.
The nervous system needs pleasure for regulation.
Pushing pleasure aside can lead to disconnection from desires.
The pleasure ceiling limits how much joy we allow ourselves to feel.
Practicing pleasure requires intentionality and skill.
Micro pleasures can be integrated into daily routines.
Guilt around pleasure is often inherited and not personal.
You are worthy of pleasure in the chaos of life.