Welcome back to another episode of the Thriving Moms of Autistics Podcast! I am your host, Dr. Christina Wilson.

I often hear from moms that their greatest fear is dying and leaving their child behind.

I recall being in the hospital. I was fighting so hard. Unfortunately, sepsis doesn’t always have a good outcome. I had never been so sick in my life.

At one point, I was spitting up blood and it was coming out of the tubes from my stomach.

I thought to myself, “This is it? This is how it is going to end? Then a calmness came over me. God laid it on my heart that there was more. Then, it was so clear, as if he whispered in my ear, “I want you to work with women.” That was when the Thriving Moms of Autistics was born.

In this episode, we explore our motivation to be around for our children and ways to make that happen so that we are here to support them as long as we can and have a long lasting positive effect on them.

Find the full transcript for this episode on your favorite podcast app.

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey.

You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. I appreciate you!

Moms of Autistics Experience Similar Stress Levels as Those in Combat

Self-care is often at the end of a moms to-do list if it even makes it on the lengthy list. That is because our child’s needs are pretty extensive.

Because of those extensive needs and additional challenges posed by IEP meetings, other’s demands and judgments about our parenting styles or child’s behaviors our stress levels are often extremely high.

A University of Wisconsin study found that mothers of adolescent and adult autistics experienced stress similar to that of a combat veteran. Sit with that for just a minute.

That is one of many reasons why self-care is critical for moms raising autistic children.

Stress is a precursor to disease. That throws a serious wrench in our plans to stick around for our children.

We can’t have that, now can we!!

Self-Care Is More Than Moms of Autistics Think It Is

There are several components to self-care, such as emotional, physical, mental, social, spiritual, and professional self-care.

Moms of autistics experience strong emotions. They deal with a lot and often. As a result, many moms experience shame, anger, frustration, unworthiness, guilt, etc.

Moms might neglect their physical upkeep by skipping workouts or not getting enough sleep.

Mental health might take a hit with increased anxiety and depression. It is easy to get caught up in the negative when big things are happening around you.

Socially, we might withdraw or isolate because so many others just don’t get it, and it is easier to separate ourselves.

Moms often feel a disconnect spiritually. We once felt connected to God, the Universe, or whatever it is we adhere to. A loss of connection is the result.

How Can Moms of Autistics Get Creative with Self-Care?

Here are some self-care ideas that might spark your interest:

1. Find a coach to support your growth as a mom
2. Use daily affirmations to remind yourself of your worth
3. Meditation & Breathing Techniques to Calm and Restore
4. Take a hot bath and light some candles after your child goes to bed
5. Walk around the neighborhood
6. Dance it out and invite your child to join you
7. Find a podcast that supports your growth or favorite topic
8. Read a chapter of the book you have been eying
9. Journal what is on your mind and ways to grow from it
10. Find a hob

Welcome back to another episode of the Thriving Moms of Autistics Podcast! I am your host, Dr. Christina Wilson.

Why do people do the things they do or think the way they do? Those are burning questions we all have, which is why I chose positive psychology as a specialty.

I study happiness and have found that optimism and internal locus of control are strong predictors of happiness or what we call subjective well-being or our own perception of our own happiness.

Internal locus of control is us taking responsibility for the outcome or feeling we had some control over the outcome. Whereas, external locus of control is blaming it on others and not accepting any of the responsibility.

In the world of autism, things can shift quickly. So, it is hard to predict what comes next. But as moms striving to stay a step ahead to protect our children, we strive with all our might. Right?

We fight to control the outcome because we want to keep them safe, but that is not always possible. We put a lot on ourselves and it feels so heavy. I know. I am right there with you.

In this episode, we explore a game changer that will open up many possibilities for change, not only for you, but your child too.

Find the full transcript for this episode on your favorite podcast app.

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey.

You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. I appreciate you

Be sure to subscribe to the Thriving Moms of Autistics YouTube Channel!

Building Stress and Behavioral Shifts Weigh On Autism Moms

Moms raising autistics are unique in their daily experiences. They have a heavier load of managing many tasks at once, such as the usual day to day, unexpected shifts, melt downs, communication struggles, keeping their child safe and alive, and so on.

With that great responsibility comes significant stress and exhaustion. We are usually pretty good at anticipating many of our child’s needs or what they are communicating to us, but there are those times that it all gets lost in translation and it all escalates. We do our best.

In those events we do our best to help our child through it and find the best ways to keep ourselves in check and maintain our own sanity while we walk through it.

It is easy to beat ourselves up when things go South, or we don’t manage it as calmly as we would have liked, or manage it as quickly as we could have.

Did you know that there is a trick to that? Oh, but there is. Most people are not aware of it. Sometimes, I want to scream it from the mountain tops because it makes such a difference.

The Game Changing Resource That All Moms of Autistics Have and Don’t Even Know It

We are all different creatures, which I am thankful for. It would be so boring if we were all the same. Right?

We were created in such a way that prepares us to go through life, even though it feels like we are lacking. Life is hard no doubt. We aren’t cookie cutter, and there is a good reason for that.

I often see moms dive into the unknown with all that they have after their child’s diagnosis. They might not have been strong students in school, but they are in high gear learning all they can about autism and finding ways to support their child.

This is the character strength of love of learning. This is a great example of lacking awareness of a strength to find that it really is your thing and helps you get through difficult times.

You might have noticed that you were more quick to give your opinion or jump into something without thinking it through prior to having your child. However, you see that you are more controlled now th

Welcome back to another episode of the Thriving Moms of Autistics Podcast! I am your host, Dr. Christina Wilson.

Moms are often in a high alert state. Because anything goes with our kids. Even though we are good at anticipating, we never really know what to fully expect.

Now, weather events occur all over the world. You can’t get away from it. This week, we dealt with a lot of crazy weather across the United States, and it got me thinking.

We can prepare for some natural disasters, such as hurricanes, but things like tornadoes and flooding can happen in an instant.

In this episode, we explore how moms can develop a plan of action ahead of time and use their developed superpowers for shifting with the unexpected to support themselves, their child, and their family and reduce anxiety and manage the chaos in the process.

Find the full transcript for this episode on your favorite podcast app.

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey.

You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. I appreciate you

Be sure to subscribe to the Thriving Moms of Autistics YouTube Channel!

Why Is It Important for Moms of Autistics to Prepare for the Unexpected?

It can feel daunting to try to have it all together all the time. We juggle a lot as moms raising autistics.

For our children, routine is critical. When it goes sideways and it will, chaos can ensue quickly.

There is a whirlwind of emotions, anxiety, vulnerability, and for moms, a deepened need to protect.

What Moms of Autistics Need to Do First to Kickstart Change

I think it is important that moms first acknowledge that they are human beings. We often forget that.

Mistakes will be made because we are not superhuman. That doesn’t exist. We do our best.

Repeat after me. “I am doing my best!”

This week, I realized that I missed the mark or dropped the ball. Yes, it happens. And it is easy to do that when we have an overloaded plate as it is.

With that said, I am showing myself some grace and learning from it! My growth mindset has allowed me to acknowledge and move forward while cutting ties and quickly squashing those negative thought loops and jumping into positive action instead.

When I was a young teenager, we had an unusual weather event in January. I was home alone at the time and the tornado sirens malfunctioned. It was an unseasonably warm day. The sky turned a shade yellow and there was an eerie feeling in the air.

You never forget that sound and how the house shakes. We lived on the outskirts of town and were spared that day. But within a couple of miles down the road, the town town and my friends weren’t. It was catastrophic.

That spring it happened again, but I was at work this time. My mom called and instructed me and my co-worker to get in the hallway. My co-worker could see the tornado in the distance and dragged me down the hallway to see it…. Kicking and screaming, by the way.

Needless to say, my past trauma and anxiety kicks in during these inevitable storms.

Our kids are super sponges and don’t miss a beat. So, I have to work even harder to keep that anxiety in check.

This week, we had to take shelter and there was a tornado. Thankfully, it wasn’t catastrophic like before.

I asked myself why I do not have a plan in place with the family? Well, we’ve had a lot to contend with over the last several years. It’s called autism. But, this is something we will have in place moving forward.

How Do Moms of Autistics Prepare for Unexpected Events That Can Result in Chaos and Anxiety?

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Welcome back to another episode of the Thriving Moms of Autistics Podcast! I am your host, Dr. Christina Wilson.

So many moms find themselves at a crossroads when they are experiencing their child’s behaviors, others judging them for their parenting practices, or literally falling into exhaustion because they are supporting everyone else’s needs and not their own.

Did I mention that one of the biggest critics of a mom of an autistic is the mom herself.

Yep, we go over and over what we could have done differently or drown ourselves into why we did what we did. Sound familiar?

It is easy to get into that thought process, but if we are isolated? What if we have no one to bounce ideas off of or don’t have others who support us?

In this episode, we explore how we can stay out of negative thought loops and get out of our head when we have a supportive community.

Find the full transcript for this episode on your favorite podcast app.

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey.

You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. I appreciate you

Be sure to subscribe to the Thriving Moms of Autistics YouTube Channel!

Is a Supportive Community the Only Thing You Need to Thrive on Your Autism Journey?

Is finding a supportive community the be all and end all of what moms need? Not exactly!

Having a community of those who get autism or one with moms who are like-minded is important. However, there will be times when we find ourselves alone to contemplate what we are going through.

People are not available to us 24/7. This is why it is important to gain the skills we need as moms to navigate difficult times.

A supportive community has its place, but we also need to strengthen our ability to overcome difficulties.

I often talk about using your innate strengths to do this. We all have strengths that we are born with. Once we identify those strengths, we can build and grow them.

As we grow our strengths, we have more tools to overcome those challenging times.

Think of these as our super strengths. How amazing is that? We’ve had them all along. We just need help and support to get to a point where we can understand them and use them.

When I started Thriving Moms of Autistics, I gathered data from moms raising autistic children to determine what they needed most.

I found specific themes that were common for moms who were surviving and wanted to thrive on their autism journey.

It Often Takes Time to Find the Best Fit When it Comes to Your Autism Community

There are so many Facebook group options focusing on the unique needs of our families. There are also Facebook support groups. Support groups are wonderful. I encourage you to join them because you cannot have enough support, BUT they are lacking.

What if I told you that there is a one stop shop for you to get support AND go to the next level to help moms grow and be the best moms they can be? There is!

Moms are often on Facebook. They seek out advice and resources for their children. There are so many groups that support the child’s needs. What about the mom’s needs?

We often don’t think about this because we are too busy serving our children. However, you can’t have one without the other and be successful.

That’s right! Self-care is not selfish. It is essential because it overflows onto the child.

But what about support for mom’s well-being? Where do you go for that?

I developed the Growth Hub for Moms Raising Autistics to help moms going through the challenges and heaviness of autism and a

Welcome back to another episode of the Thriving Moms of Autistics Podcast! I am your host, Dr. Christina Wilson.

Let’s play the old game, Have You Ever…

Okay, ready?

Have you ever been in a place mentally where you felt so alone and just wanted another human being who has been there to listen to you? You know.. Vent!

Have you ever rushed around trying to find someone to watch your child in an emergency?

Have you ever wished your child had more friends and that your family had friends who understood first hand what you were going through?

Does having these things seem impossible?

What if I told you that it is not impossible?

In this episode, we explore the benefits of community for moms of autistics and how to start finding YOUR support network.

Find the full transcript for this episode on your favorite podcast app.

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey.

You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. I appreciate you

Be sure to subscribe to the Thriving Moms of Autistics YouTube Channel!

What Hinders a Mom of an Autistic Child When They Try to Find a Community of Others Who Get It?

Finding others who get it is hard, but it is not impossible. Does everyone in your community have to have experience with autism?

No! There are people who are willing to learn when given the opportunity.

I started out with virtual connections, such as facebook groups for parents with children with special needs. I also had the professionals involved in my son’s care.

Those groups are so helpful when it comes to finding resources for your child. They also offer some support too.

This was a great start, but I needed more.

As moms, we go through our journey thinking that we can do it all. We have no choice, and finding others who get it is too hard.

I promise that day will come where we realize that it is so much bigger than us.

We all know that big things can happen at any time. We just hope it doesn’t.

Well, that day came for my family.

I had been in and out of the hospital and developed sepsis from a picc line. I was in bad shape. I wasn’t sure I would leave the hospital at one point when I was vomiting blood and it was coming through my stomach tube.

The previous hospitalization, my organs were shutting down and I needed blood transfusions. It got scary very quickly. I stabilized for a while then things got worse.

My son was in great hands with his dad, but you all know what happens when there is a change in routine.

I could only see him via FaceTime due to hospital regulations from COVID. I really didn’t want him to see me like that anyway with tubes coming out of me and such.

We had a nurse coming to the house. I had to measure my med dosage, prepare my meds, and give myself my injections. In addition, I had to clean my ports, measure my stomach contents, and empty them periodically. Imagine what that was like for a child watching it all.

I got my tubes out and was on my way to recovery when my husband had multiple blood clots out of the blue.

It was terrifying. I tried to remain calm. I put my son in his room after the ambulance arrived. I did not want my son to see them working on his dad. Once they left, I got on the phone frantically trying to find someone to watch my son.

You and I know that not just anyone can watch our child, right!! People are amazing, but knowing how to keep an autistic safe is a whole other level. Our kids do not know how to assess danger. Then there are the meltdowns and the list goes on.

Welcome back to another episode of the Thriving Moms of Autistics Podcast! I am your host, Dr. Christina Wilson.

Franklin D Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Let that sit for a minute. Moms of autistics are in high gear dealing with all the what ifs and fears.

That is why we are planners. We scan rooms for danger in less time than the CIA. We have our stuff together because we cannot afford not to.

So, that heightened state isn’t going away. So what do you do?

In this episode, we explore the challenges of living in this state and how we can make shifts for a more positive outcome.

Find the full transcript for this episode on your favorite podcast app.

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey.

You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. I appreciate you

Be sure to subscribe to the Thriving Moms of Autistics YouTube Channel!

What Hinders a Moms of an Autistic’s Growth as They Process Challenges?

Fear is very real for moms raising autistics. This actually starts from the start of the diagnosis if not before.

We are fearing all the what ifs, such as what if he never talks… what if he cannot live on his own eventually…what will happen when I die…what if he elopes and is drawn to a body of water… what if he gets bullied or doesn’t make friends…

It’s a lot. How many times have you become fixated on these things? Does it help when you do?

What benefits do you get from getting sucked into this? If you’re getting stuck, you can’t grow.

We worry because it allows us to feel like we have some control over a situation that is clearly out of control. That is the function of ruminating on things and continually going over it until we fall into a negative thought loop.

However, it does not move the needle, and you remain stuck and unhappy. It only furthers our frustration.

Moms often stay isolated because we fear that others won’t understand our child and our journey. We tell ourselves that it is too hard dealing with those who just don’t get it.

We aren’t entirely wrong. It is hard. My son always says, “Mommy, you can do hard things.” He’s right.

We know it takes time and energy to find those who do get it. We fear the thought of adding one more thing to our list too. That is very real!

When we do nothing out of fear or put it off, we fail to grow. And THAThas lasting consequences.

When Moms of Autistics Develop a Learning Mindset, They See Beyond the Challenge and the Many Possibilities That Exist

What does this mean? Well, we have all been there. We’ve been let down and disappointed when things didn't turn out as we had wished.

Think back to feeling broken hearted over the demise of a relationship with someone you thought was the one. Or when you did not get the job you wanted and worked so hard for.

It doesn’t make sense at the time, but it does eventually. It usually takes a while. So, when you feel the rejection of someone who refuses to understand your autism journey, what can you do?

You can be thankful that you moved on without them. They aren’t a good fit for what you need! In essence, this supports yourself and your child.

What can you do when you take the time to find others who do get autism?

You gain a support system that you can rely on.

It is easy to get sucked into feeling frustrated when things go wrong. Those shifts in perspective make all the difference.

Carol Dweck’s The Power of Yet is a great tool to use during these challenging times when you find yourself drifting into negativity

Welcome back to another episode of the Thriving Moms of Autistics Podcast! I am your host, Dr. Christina Wilson.

Feel like you are just trying to survive? Like you are running on fumes? You don’t even know what day it is or what month?

You can continue on the trail of surviving but not forever. It’s not sustainable. Surviving is exhausting.

This is common for moms raising autistics. I have a question for you to ponder. What was your life like before kids? As many of you know, I did not marry and have my son until late in life.

I had an ordered and structured life. I was able to plan everything out without a ton of curve balls. I did what I wanted when I wanted. It was great!

Before I had my son, I had unusual stress in my career, especially when I was working in emergency psyc. You never knew what you were walking into… bridge jumps, swat teams, psychotic breaks. The difference was that I could leave all that behind me at the office.

Then came the diagnosis around age 2, which brought all the OT, speech, and PT appointments. My son suddenly had a full-time job of ABA 40 hours a week.

Things like eating food, drinking, delayed speech, and potty training looked very different from my friend’s neurotypicals. I had to be on my toes and ready to pivot at any moment.

The chaos had set in but in a very different way. Moms can’t just leave it behind at the office.

In this episode, we dive into getting unstuck when the chaos sets in and growing from it.

Find the full transcript for this episode on your favorite podcast app.

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey.

You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. I appreciate you

Be sure to subscribe to the Thriving Moms of Autistics YouTube Channel!

How Do Moms of Autistics Who Get Lost in the Chaos Find Themselves Stuck?

Your thoughts and your behaviors have a purpose. Moms get so enmeshed in the chaos, that they don’t take time to consider the origins or the purpose of those thoughts and behaviors.

It’s not that they don’t want to. It feels too hard to slow down long enough to do so. As a result, we get stuck in the chaos. We are just trying to keep our child safe and survive the day. We live life minute by minute for many days.

When Moms of Autistics Understand What Drives Their Thoughts and Behaviors, They can Move Forward Rather Than Get Stuck

Getting stuck is never good. So why do we get stuck? If you ask yourself what is driving a particular thought or behavior, and you don’t have an answer for that, there is an underlying unconscious reason.

Unconscious motivators lack awareness. There is something deep within us that is fueling these thoughts and behaviors. When chaos ensues, it also drives us.

When we lose our confidence during chaotic times, we start to second guess ourselves, which further sets us back. You might develop negative self-talk. Why did I handle it like this? Why didn’t I… and so on. We dig ourselves deeper and deeper. Insecurities keep you stuck and keep you from growing.

Who we are and how we behave is tied to beliefs, which are connected to our values and habits. Beliefs are derived from our upbringing, cultural background, and experiences.

We are conditioned very early on, which makes it very difficult to change, especially in the midst of chaos. The good news is that we do have capacity for change.

Those with a fixed mindset believe that this is set in stone, but it is not. When you believe that growth can occur, you will grow and learn.

Three Ingredients for Change So Moms of Autistics Can Persevere

Welcome back to another episode of the Thriving Moms of Autistics Podcast! I am your host, Dr. Christina Wilson.

Moms raising autistics are the queens of transitions and change. My mother was quite intuitive.

She knew everything I was up to when I was growing up. It’s a good thing too. I suspect that my mom was also neurodivergent.

Girls are often maskers and really good at blending in. I recently read about a famous actor who was diagnosed at a much older age and attributed his acting abilities to his being on the spectrum.

Raising an autistic child in this day and age has its benefits. 1) We know more now than we ever have because the research has exploded, but also 2) People are talking more about autism.

Many of us no longer wonder what was going on with us as we navigated through the wilds of our youth. We also have children on the spectrum and see it play out in a world that finally wants to know more.

Unfortunately, we still deal with a lot of ignorance.

In this episode, we dive into setting boundaries with those who do not understand autism with a bonus boundary setting toolkit for moms. Find out which boundary setting type you align with the most.

Find the full transcript for this episode on your favorite podcast app.

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey. You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. I appreciate you!

Be sure to subscribe to the Thriving Moms of Autistics YouTube Channel!

Experiences with Those Who Overstep Because They Don’t Understand an Autism Mom’s Parenting Strategy Are Daunting

Soon after the diagnosis, my husband and I were still getting our footing. It’s a big shift in having to get the right resources to support, especially when it comes to early intervention.

All moms want to provide all they can for their child’s success in life. On top of that, you are trying to adjust your parenting style to support your child and keep them safe.

We took our son to the zoo that weekend and wanted to offer him some autonomy outside of the stroller. We knew that he moved like the speed of lightning and had to accommodate him so that he did not elope like autistic children often do.

We decided to get him one of those backpacks with a harness. Some parents call it a leash and make judgements unknowingly about this option. Others use it and are completely fine with it.

We decided to try it. The worst that could happen is that we don’t and he gets away and someone unsavory grabs him.

Even worse is that autistics are prone to drowning and highly attracted to water. It doesn’t take much water for this to occur and there is water all over the zoo.

So, we tried the backpack. Our son was running along while giggling with my husband right behind him when a childless, young couple in the food court started to loudly judge us stating, “Some people shouldn’t have children. That’s disgusting!”

They were so close that I could reach out and touch them. I stopped in my tracks, shrugged my shoulders, and said, “I don’t care!”

What Moms of Autistics Can Do When People Overstep Their Boundaries By Judging

There are many ways to handle this situation. I chose to let them know I was basically not interested in their opinion and confidently moved on without giving them any more of my energy.

Yes, you CAN do that. However, there are other ways to deal with this too.

I want you to remember one thing when deciding how to approach this. Most people still know very little about autism. Some people are actually willing to learn.

In those cases afford them the opportunity to learn. I