In this Q&A episode of Thriving Kids Podcast, Dave Anderson answers listener questions following last week’s conversation with Jennifer Wallace on achievement culture and helping kids feel like they matter.

Parents asked practical, hard questions about failure, pressure, motivation, and emotional regulation. This episode focuses on finding balance—between support and independence, structure and flexibility, validation and limits.

Questions covered:

Natural consequences vs. stepping in

• Did you rob your child of a lesson by rescuing a forgotten school project?
• How to decide based on context and stakes.

Kids who cheat because they hate losing

• What’s developmentally normal at younger ages.
• When rule-following matters for peer relationships.
• How to address cheating without turning games into power struggles.

Paying kids for good grades

• Does it increase pressure?
• The role of external reinforcement.
• How to use rewards thoughtfully and fade them over time.

When your child says, “I suck at this”

• How to respond to negative self-talk.
• Helping kids move from global self-blame to problem-solving.

The brutal car ride home after a loss

• Why “I loved watching you play” can backfire.
• How to ask what support your teen actually wants.
• Coaching emotional regulation without forcing a conversation.

When schools make failure feel high-stakes

• What to say when mistakes lead to remedial groups or lost electives.
• Supporting your child when systems increase pressure.
• How parents can act as “counterprogramming” to achievement culture.

Key takeaways

• There is rarely one “right” parenting move.
• Kids need both scaffolding and space to struggle.
• Pressure affects children differently.
• Validation doesn’t mean fixing feelings.
• Effort matters more than perfection.

This episode is especially helpful if you’re parenting a child who is sensitive to failure, perfectionistic, or feeling overwhelmed by expectations at school or in sports.

In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson speaks with Jennifer Wallace, award-winning journalist and author, about her books 'Never Enough' and 'Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose.' They discuss the trajectory of her work, the culture of toxic achievement, and how fostering a sense of mattering can serve as an antidote. Wallace shares research findings on mattering, practical strategies for parents, workplaces, and third spaces, and emphasizes the importance of making others feel valued in everyday interactions. They also explore the impact of parental self-care on creating a healthy environment for children.

Further Reading:

• How to Help Kids Learn to Fail
• Raising Resilient Kids Who Are Prepared for the Future
• How to Model Healthy Coping Skills

Parenting teens can feel confusing, hurtful, and exhausting — especially when connection starts to slip.

In this Thriving Kids Q&A episode from the Child Mind Institute, Dr. Dave Anderson answers real questions from parents about staying connected to teenagers during adolescence.

He covers:

• Why teens can be warm and talkative with other adults but distant at home
• How memes, TikToks, and inside jokes still count as real connection
• How to prepare teens for college and independence without constant conflict
• What to do when defiance and power struggles escalate
• How to respond when teens self-diagnose ADHD or other mental health conditions online

This episode focuses on relationship-first parenting, clear boundaries, and helping teens feel understood — so they’re more likely to come to you when it really matters.

Further reading

• Help! My Teen Stopped Talking to Me
• Tips for Communicating With Your Teen
• Parenting a Defiant Teen: Expert Tips

Parenting a teen can feel like walking on eggshells. Conversations turn into conflict. Teens pull away. Parents are left wondering how to stay connected without giving up boundaries.

In this episode of the Thriving Kids Podcast, Dr. Dave Anderson is joined by pediatric psychologist Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart to talk about what actually helps build a stronger, healthier relationship with your teen — even during tough moments.

They discuss:
• Why teens push back and pull away during adolescence
• What real connection with teens looks like (and what it doesn’t)
• How to set limits without damaging trust
• Common parenting mistakes that increase power struggles
• How to stay grounded when emotions run high
• Practical ways to rebuild connection after conflict

This conversation focuses on realistic, evidence-based strategies parents can use to improve communication, reduce tension, and strengthen trust — without trying to control or fix their teen.

Hosted by clinicians from the Child Mind Institute, the Thriving Kids Podcast offers expert guidance for parents raising emotionally healthy, resilient kids and teens.

For more parenting tools and mental health resources, visit childmind.org.

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Related Child Mind Institute Articles

Tips for Communicating With Your Teen
https://childmind.org/article/tips-communicating-with-teen

Help! My Teen Stopped Talking to Me
https://childmind.org/article/help-my-teen-stopped-talking-to-me/

How to Help Kids Have Healthy Romantic Relationships
https://childmind.org/article/how-to-help-kids-have-good-romantic-relationships/

How to Help Your Teen Through a Breakup
https://childmind.org/article/how-to-help-your-teen-through-a-breakup/

10 Tips for Parenting Your Pre-Teen
https://childmind.org/article/10-tips-for-parenting-your-pre-teen/

Tweens, Teens, and Young Adults Resources
https://childmind.org/topics/teens-young-adults/

How do you talk to kids about the hard stuff — without making their worries worse?

In this Thriving Kids Podcast Q&A episode, Dr. Dave Anderson answers real questions from parents about how to talk with kids and teens about difficult, emotionally loaded topics in calm, developmentally appropriate ways.

Drawing on clinical experience from his work at the Child Mind Institute, Dr. Anderson walks through what helps — and what often backfires — when kids ask about scary news, big life fears, or sensitive issues at home.

Topics covered in this episode include:

• Talking to kids about anxiety, disasters, and frightening news
• Helping children cope with worries about climate change
• Supporting kids dealing with unkind friends or social rejection
• How to respond when kids fear losing a parent
• Discussing financial stress without passing on adult worry
• How to talk about suicide safely and openly
• Explaining substance use and addiction in age-appropriate ways

Throughout the episode, Dr. Anderson emphasizes validation, honesty, emotional regulation, and keeping conversations open — even when a parent feels they didn’t handle a moment perfectly the first time.

Related Articles & Resources

• Helping Children Cope With Frightening News
• Kids and Climate Anxiety
• Big Talks: How to Have Important Conversations With Kids
• Parents Guide to Problem Behavior
• Tips for Communicating With Kids
• Parents Guide to Substance Use and Mental Health
• Anxiety Resources for Kids and Teens
• Supporting vs. Enabling a Child With Challenges

Dr. Dave Anderson sits down with science journalist and author Melinda Wenner Moyer to talk about what kids actually need to cope, connect, and grow up healthy today.

They cover:

• Why letting kids have big feelings builds resilience
• How listening (not lecturing) strengthens connection
• What parents get wrong about screens and tech
• Why avoiding hard topics doesn’t protect kids
• How everyday conversations shape empathy and judgment

This episode is about practical, research-backed parenting — not perfection.

• How Can We Help Kids With Self-Regulation? - Child Mind Institute
• Helping Kids Handle Big Emotions at Different Ages - Child Mind Institute
• How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes - Melinda Wenner Moyer
• Hello, Cruel World - Melinda Wenner Moyer

Thriving Kids Podcast Q&A: Handling Big Feelings, Screen Time Battles, and More

Join Dr. Dave Anderson in this special Q&A edition of the Thriving Kids Podcast, where he addresses a range of parenting questions. From managing a 6-year-old's meltdowns over small issues to navigating screen time battles and teaching empathy between siblings, this episode covers it all. Dr. Anderson provides insightful advice on emotion regulation, developing coping skills, and setting effective boundaries. Learn how to talk to kids about inequality, media literacy, and tackle the common issues of homework difficulties and friendship dramas. Tune in for practical strategies to support your children's emotional and behavioral development.

Dr. Dave Anderson and special guest Dr. Marc Brackett, the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, discuss the importance of understanding and managing emotions, especially in today's world. Dr. Brackett shares insights from his books, 'Permission to Feel' and 'Dealing with Feeling', and highlights practical strategies for emotional regulation. Whether you're a parent, educator, or caregiver, this conversation offers valuable guidance on raising emotionally healthy children and the vital role of emotion regulation in achieving well-being and success.

Further Reading from the Child Mind Institute

• How Can We Help Kids With Self-Regulation?
• How to Help Children Calm Down

And more from Dr. Marc Brackett

• Dealing with Feeling