When was the last time you were in the room… and actually in it?

Not half there. Not "mm-hmm" while you type. In it.

I can be reached by anyone, anytime, anywhere. And the people sitting three feet away from me are the ones who keep getting "hold on, let me just finish this real quick."

This week I'm the cautionary tale, and I'm not pretending otherwise. A gadget that was supposed to fix my phone habits. A screen time number I wince at out loud. A 3 a.m. spiral the algorithm handed me for free. And a guest who finally talked her way onto the show… and got put in charge of me.

Want the extras in your inbox every week? Sign up here.

If this one found you and you felt seen, pass it to the one person who came to mind that needs to hear it too.

Support the show

Send us Fan Mail

Is it them… or is it you?

You've replayed the conversation. You've wondered if you're overreacting. You've asked yourself whether it's time to walk away, or if you're just being too sensitive.

Life Coach Jen Stovall has one question that cuts through all of it. Once you hear it, you'll start asking it everywhere: at the family dinner, in the staff meeting, in the group text. We get into what the lock on your front door has to do with boundaries, the short list of people who get to speak into your life, and the curious question that offended Jen… and then changed her life.

Don't stop at the episode.

Jen's Dysfunction or Discomfort worksheet: for when you can't tell if it's hard or harmful. Sort out what's yours and what's not yours to carry, then leave with one small, honest next step.

Jen's Art of Soft Separation: Jen's ten ways to stay connected to hard people without carrying all of it.

Jen and I didn't stop when the timer did either. The rest of our conversation, including what to do when the holidays start pulling everyone in four directions, goes out Monday to my email list only. Sign up here.

If this one found you and you felt seen, pass it to the one person who came to mind that needs to hear it too.

Special thanks to Jen Stovall of Mustard Seed Living. Find her on Instagram @mustard_seed_living, where she's in the middle of her Finding Delight series, and tell her you heard her here. Your first full session is on her.

Support the show

Send us Fan Mail

Boundaries aren't always walls. Most of the time, they're how you get to stay: in your family, your job, your church, the thing your kid loves. This week I'm talking about the boundaries that let you stay without losing yourself, why "forgive and forget" isn't actually in the Bible, the difference between a boundary and avoidance, and what to do when someone doesn't like your answer. Plus a plant, one ice cube, and a seven-year-old who quietly showed me where I stopped.

This week's companion guide, a printable Access Map, and an extra for teens processing a loss of trust are waiting in the Backstage Pass. Sign up at: https://nicole-beholds.kit.com/c550577cc0

Special thanks:

To my friend Jen Stovall, for helping me put words to this one. Catch our bonus conversation this Friday, October 9.

If this one found you and you felt seen, pass it to the one person who came to mind that needs to hear it too.

Support the show