What does sobriety actually look like after the milestones, the celebrations and the before-and-after stories?

This week I'm joined by my friend Mike Field, who stopped drinking three months before I did. We met in those messy early days of 2022, when we were both navigating life without alcohol and leaning heavily on the online sober community for support.

Now, more than four years later, we catch up to talk about what life really looks like when sobriety is no longer the centre of your attention.

We chat about:

- Why the first year isn't the end of the journey
- How our relationship with alcohol has changed over time
- The fears we had in early sobriety that never came true
- Learning to leave situations that no longer serve you
- Why community can make all the difference in recovery
- Navigating heartbreak, grief, anxiety and life's biggest challenges without alcohol
- The identity shift that happens when drinking is no longer part of who you are
- Why life without alcohol isn't boring – it's just different

This isn't an episode about counting sober days or celebrating milestones. It's a conversation about what comes next, and how sobriety quietly becomes the foundation for a life you never imagined was possible.

Whether you're on Day 1 or Year 10, I hope this conversation reminds you that recovery isn't about giving something up forever. It's about building a life you no longer want to escape from.

Get in touch:

Mike

Instagram @mike_is_sober

Abi

30 Days to Freedom - A Gentle Reset

Available here - www.levelupsobrietycoaching.com/30-days-to-freedom-reset/

Instagram @levelup.withabi

Email hello@levelupsobrietycoaching.co.nz

Affiliate links:

Terps & Co. www.drinkterps.co.nz - enter code ABI20 for 20% off storewide

I use Riverside.fm for my podcast editing software. Click the link below to find out more!

https://www.riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_5&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=abi

My podcast episodes are hosted and distributed by Buzzsprout. Click the link below for a $20 Refer a Friend voucher (T&Cs apply)

https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=2404910

Music from #Uppbeat
https://uppbeat.io/t/tatami/in-motion
License code: N5GLWPT8QQSRU7D2

If you're thinking about taking a break from alcohol, you've probably wondered what actually changes when you stop drinking?

In this episode, I'm talking honestly about the early days of sobriety - the parts people love to share, and the parts they often don't.

Because the truth is, quitting alcohol isn't an overnight transformation. Yes, you may sleep better, feel calmer and become more present, but you might also experience boredom, restlessness, fatigue and moments where you wonder if it's even working.

And all of it is completely normal.

In this episode, I share my own experience of early sobriety, challenge some of the biggest myths about what happens when you stop drinking, and explain why the uncomfortable parts don't mean you should give up - they're often a sign that real change is beginning.

We cover:

- Why early sobriety isn't a straight line

- The mental freedom that comes from no longer negotiating with alcohol

- Why alcohol doesn't actually give you quality sleep

- The surprising role boredom plays in recovery

- How confidence is built after you stop drinking, not before

- The quiet changes that end up transforming your life the most

Whether you're sober curious, in your first few weeks, or simply wondering what life could look like without alcohol, I hope this episode gives you realistic expectations along with plenty of hope.

Remember: You don't have to become a completely different person overnight. Sometimes the biggest gift of sobriety is simply creating enough space to reconnect with who you already are.

Get in touch:

Abi

30 Days to Freedom - A Gentle Reset

Available here - www.levelupsobrietycoaching.com/30-days-to-freedom-reset/

Instagram @levelup.withabi

Email hello@levelupsobrietycoaching.co.nz

Affiliate links:

Terps & Co. www.drinkterps.co.nz - enter code ABI20 for 20% off storewide

I use Riverside.fm for my podcast editing software. Click the link below to find out more!

https://www.riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_5&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=abi

My podcast episodes are hosted and distributed by Buzzsprout. Click the link below for a $20 Refer a Friend voucher (T&Cs apply)

https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=2404910

Music from #Uppbeat
https://uppbeat.io/t/tatami/in-motion
License code: N5GLWPT8QQSRU7D2

What if the thing driving your drinking isn't stress... but loneliness?

When we think about why we drink, we often blame stress, anxiety or wanting to switch off after a long day. But what if those are only part of the story?

In this episode, I'm joined by accredited sober coach, bestselling author and TEDx speaker Nick Jonsson, who shares his powerful journey from appearing successful and high-functioning on the outside to privately struggling with loneliness, isolation and alcohol dependence.

Together, we explore the hidden role loneliness can play in our relationship with alcohol, why so many people suffer in silence, and how recovery is about so much more than simply removing the drink.

In this conversation, we discuss:

- Why you can feel lonely even when you're surrounded by people

- The link between loneliness, shame and alcohol use

- Why high-functioning people often hide their struggles so well

- The pressure to always appear "fine"

- What finally led Nick to surrender and choose sobriety

- What early recovery really looked like

- How genuine connection becomes one of the most powerful tools in lasting recovery

Whether you're questioning your drinking, navigating early sobriety, or simply curious about the emotional reasons we reach for alcohol, this episode offers an honest and compassionate perspective that reminds us we're never as alone as we think we are.

If this conversation resonates with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please leave a review, share the episode with someone who might need it, or connect with me on Instagram @levelup.withabi.

Remember, recovery isn't just about giving something up - it's about finding the connection you've been looking for all along.

Get in touch:

Nick

www.nickjonsson.com

Executive Loneliness: The 5 Pathways to Overcoming Isolation, Stress, Anxiety & Depression in the Modern Business World

Available here - https://www.amazon.com/Executive-Loneliness-Overcoming-Isolation-Depression-ebook/dp/B091B1Y3WZ/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2RA92G3A1DCEB&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.YePBWvmPyX7o6HJW8UjjY44aa-d7PWjxRrwCgoxjWpjO5034Qvni9ArICMpjXGzhVSbZThA7jCI54rH-2R3--URoX6fSgHE0TQLe-mKg8o563BUgWgKPKMVY4MCtkjvZANOVTFn_NOEjrc7qHJJZWky1BiEyXQvB-QruH78jBXIKEKutTVslwaYZbYtjSqLabTsmYXe4vuCaGYEOpCEdmzFkyzplDVcD4l73mXRC-4k.19ZA5pmDiBKbqdLth6oiVIPFqdQklHVWFJuV0DAukCA&dib_tag=se&keywords=executive+loneliness&qid=1783662176&sprefix=executive+lonelin%2Caps%2C449&sr=8-1

Abi

30 Days to Freedom - A Gentle Reset

Available here - www.levelupsobrietycoaching.com/30-days-to-freedom-reset/

Instagram @levelup.withabi

Email hello@levelupsobrietycoaching.co.nz

Affiliate links:

Terps & Co. www.drinkterps.co.nz - enter code ABI20 for 20% off storewide

I use Riverside.fm for my podcast editing software. Click the link below to find out more!

https://www.riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_5&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=abi

My podcast episodes are hosted and distributed by Buzzsprout. Click the link below for a $20 Refer a Friend voucher (T&Cs apply)

https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=2404910

Music from #Uppbeat
https://uppbeat.io/t/tatami/in-motion
License code: N5GLWPT8QQSRU7D2

Do you drink because you enjoy alcohol? Or because you just need a break?

For many people, alcohol isn't really about the alcohol anymore. It's about relief.

It's the exhale at the end of a long day. The reward after carrying everyone else's needs. The thing that helps you switch off when your brain won't stop spinning.

In this episode, I'm exploring what I call "The Off-Switch Illusion", which is the belief that alcohol helps us cope with stress, when in reality it may be adding to the very thing we're trying to escape.

We'll talk about:

- Why high-functioning, capable people are particularly vulnerable to using alcohol as relief
- The difference between escape and genuine recovery
- How alcohol affects stress, anxiety and sleep
- Why you might feel more overwhelmed than you realise
- Healthier ways to recharge that don't leave you depleted the next day

If you've ever stood in the kitchen at the end of a stressful day thinking, "I just need a drink", this episode is for you.

Because maybe what you really need isn't alcohol. Maybe you need rest.

Get in touch:

Abi

30 Days to Freedom - A Gentle Reset

Available here - www.levelupsobrietycoaching.com/30-days-to-freedom-reset/

Instagram @levelup.withabi

Email hello@levelupsobrietycoaching.co.nz

Affiliate links:

Terps & Co. www.drinkterps.co.nz - enter code ABI20 for 20% off storewide

I use Riverside.fm for my podcast editing software. Click the link below to find out more!

https://www.riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_5&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=abi

My podcast episodes are hosted and distributed by Buzzsprout. Click the link below for a $20 Refer a Friend voucher (T&Cs apply)

https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=2404910

Music from #Uppbeat
https://uppbeat.io/t/tatami/in-motion
License code: N5GLWPT8QQSRU7D2

Most sobriety stories are told with the benefit of hindsight. But what about the messy middle? The early days when you're still figuring things out, navigating cravings, questioning yourself, and learning how to live without alcohol.

In this episode, I'm joined by Matt, who is approaching two months alcohol-free. We talk openly about his drinking journey, what led him to stop, the challenges he's faced so far, and the changes he's already starting to notice.

Together we explore:

- What alcohol was really giving him
- The moment he knew something needed to change
- The reality of early sobriety
- What has surprised him most about being alcohol-free
- The gains he's experienced in just a few short weeks

Whether you're on Day 1, Day 60, or simply questioning your relationship with alcohol, this honest conversation is a reminder that you don't have to have it all figured out to start.

Get in touch:

Matt

Instagram @walkthesoberline

Abi

30 Days to Freedom - A Gentle Reset

Available here - www.levelupsobrietycoaching.com/30-days-to-freedom-reset/

Instagram @levelup.withabi

Email hello@levelupsobrietycoaching.co.nz

Affiliate links:

Terps & Co. www.drinkterps.co.nz - enter code ABI20 for 20% off storewide

I use Riverside.fm for my podcast editing software. Click the link below to find out more!

https://www.riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_5&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=abi

My podcast episodes are hosted and distributed by Buzzsprout. Click the link below for a $20 Refer a Friend voucher (T&Cs apply)

https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=2404910

Music from #Uppbeat
https://uppbeat.io/t/tatami/in-motion
License code: N5GLWPT8QQSRU7D2

Why does moderation feel so hard? If you've ever made rules around drinking...

Only on weekends.
Only two glasses.
No drinking at home.
I'll start again on Monday.

...and found yourself back in the same cycle, this episode is for you.

In this episode, I'm exploring why moderation can feel so exhausting. Not because you're failing, but because of the constant mental energy it requires.

We'll talk about:

- The hidden mental load of managing alcohol
- Why moderation often becomes a full-time job in your head
- Decision fatigue and the endless negotiations
- Why some people find taking a longer break feels simpler, not harder
- The difference between drinking less and feeling truly free

If you've spent years trying to find the "perfect balance" with alcohol, this episode might help you see things from a different perspective.

Because maybe the goal isn't better rules. Maybe the goal is freedom from needing them.

Get in touch:

Abi

30 Days to Freedom - A Gentle Reset

Available here - www.levelupsobrietycoaching.com/30-days-to-freedom-reset/

Instagram @levelup.withabi

Email hello@levelupsobrietycoaching.co.nz

Affiliate links:

Terps & Co. www.drinkterps.co.nz - enter code ABI20 for 20% off storewide

I use Riverside.fm for my podcast editing software. Click the link below to find out more!

https://www.riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_5&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=abi

My podcast episodes are hosted and distributed by Buzzsprout. Click the link below for a $20 Refer a Friend voucher (T&Cs apply)

https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=2404910

Music from #Uppbeat
https://uppbeat.io/t/tatami/in-motion
License code: N5GLWPT8QQSRU7D2

This week’s episode is a really special one.

Today I’m joined by an anonymous guest who recently celebrated six months alcohol-free, including reaching five months sober on her birthday, a milestone that once felt impossible to her.

A few months ago, she reached out to me for coaching because she was exhausted by the constant mental battle with alcohol… the moderation attempts, the overthinking, the guilt, and the feeling that drinking had quietly become far bigger in her life than she wanted it to be.

In this conversation, we talk honestly about:

• what her drinking looked like before she stopped
• the emotional exhaustion behind the habit
• the reality of early sobriety
• the identity shift that comes with changing your relationship with alcohol
• and what life actually feels like now at six months sober

This isn’t a story about rock bottom. It’s a story about a normal woman who quietly realised alcohol wasn’t working for her anymore, and decided to choose something different.

Get in touch:

Abi

30 Days to Freedom - A Gentle Reset

Available here - www.levelupsobrietycoaching.com/30-days-to-freedom-reset/

Instagram @levelup.withabi

Email hello@levelupsobrietycoaching.co.nz

Affiliate links:

Terps & Co. www.drinkterps.co.nz - enter code ABI20 for 20% off storewide

I use Riverside.fm for my podcast editing software. Click the link below to find out more!

https://www.riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_5&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=abi

My podcast episodes are hosted and distributed by Buzzsprout. Click the link below for a $20 Refer a Friend voucher (T&Cs apply)

https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=2404910

Music from #Uppbeat
https://uppbeat.io/t/tatami/in-motion
License code: N5GLWPT8QQSRU7D2

This week on The Sober Connection, I'm talking about evenings, because for so many people, that’s where the real battle with alcohol actually happens.

The 5pm autopilot. “I deserve this.” The exhausting cycle of trying to hold it together all day… then reaching for a drink to finally switch off.

In this episode, I unpack:

– why evenings feel so hard
– what’s actually happening in your nervous system at the end of the day
– why it can feel automatic even when you genuinely want to stop
– and how to start interrupting the pattern without relying on willpower alone

If you’ve ever found yourself waking up determined not to drink… only to end up back in the same cycle by evening, this is a good one to listen to.

Get in touch:

Abi

30 Days to Freedom - A Gentle Reset

Available here - www.levelupsobrietycoaching.com/30-days-to-freedom-reset/

Instagram @levelup.withabi

Email hello@levelupsobrietycoaching.co.nz

Affiliate links:

Terps & Co. www.drinkterps.co.nz - enter code ABI20 for 20% off storewide

I use Riverside.fm for my podcast editing software. Click the link below to find out more!

https://www.riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_5&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=abi

My podcast episodes are hosted and distributed by Buzzsprout. Click the link below for a $20 Refer a Friend voucher (T&Cs apply)

https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=2404910

Music from #Uppbeat
https://uppbeat.io/t/tatami/in-motion
License code: N5GLWPT8QQSRU7D2