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Ranae’s story is one of pain, resilience, and the hard work of healing. At just eleven years old she experienced a horrible traumatic event that shaped how she viewed herself, her worth, and her relationships with others. Told to “put it aside” for appearances, she spent years trying to please everyone else while quietly carrying the weight of shame.

Her journey eventually led to Federal Prison, where the shock of turning herself in and confronting fear for the first time became, paradoxically, the beginning of her healing. In this conversation, Ranae shares what she discovered about identity, responsibility, and growth: that loving yourself is not a luxury, but a necessity. That we are not defined by the worst decision we’ve ever made. And that guilt can guide us to accountability, but shame only keeps us stuck.

We explore the danger of labeling yourself as a “bad person,” how hopelessness prevents change, and why “how could you?” is the wrong question. The better question is: “What led to that?” Together, we unpack how unmet human needs drive destructive choices, the role of coping strategies (both helpful and harmful), and why true healing begins with sitting with yourself, developing awareness, and reaching out for support.

Ranae offers a candid look at self-care, boundaries, and the difference between avoidance and authentic growth. Most of all, she reminds us: you are not all bad, you are worth the work, and empathy is not the same as tolerance, it is the bridge to accountability, contribution, and change.

For more resources, visit www.connectingtocope.com
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What’s more useful today: a perfectly polished five-year career plan, or the ability to thrive in chaos? In this episode, Craig Harper and I lean into the reality that uncertainty isn’t going away—it’s becoming the baseline. We explore how self-awareness gives you the clarity to navigate change, why developing actual skill is the backbone of real confidence, and why adaptability has replaced predictability as the career superpower.

Along the way, we get into the paradox of kindness and empathy; two qualities the world needs more of, but paired with the strength not to be walked on and not to let others be walked on either. This is a raw, practical, and sometimes humorous exploration of what it takes to not just survive but flourish in a world that refuses to sit still.

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Sometimes clarity doesn’t come in a flash of inspiration, it arrives in the quiet, awkward realization that this… isn’t it.

Maybe it’s your job. Or your routine. Or the way you’ve been moving through the world lately.

It’s not terrible, exactly, it’s just not lighting any fires. And the tricky part? You’re not even sure what would.

In this episode of The Self-Help Antidote, we explore a refreshingly honest approach to self-direction: anti-goalsetting.

Because when you don’t know what you want, start with what you don’t.

The wrong fit, the dead weight, the “I guess this is fine” parts of your life, naming those is often the first step toward building something that actually feels like you.

Sometimes the fastest way forward is simply knowing what you’re no longer willing to drag with you.

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In a world where connection is thinning, certainty is shrinking, and burnout feels like a badge of honor, what does it actually take to build a life rooted in resilience and wellbeing?

In this episode, we dive into the psychological and neurological building blocks of self-care, not the bubble bath kind, but the kind that scaffolds you when life inevitably hits hard. From Dunbar’s number to dopamine, decision fatigue to distress, we explore the science behind emotional regulation, agency, and the rituals that ground us. You'll learn why perceived control matters, why there's no "best way" to live well, and how the absence of mastery in modern life is quietly eroding our sense of identity.

We discuss the power of scalable habits, the beauty of progressive overload in building mental resilience, and why the more you try to please people, the more miserable you, and likely they, often become.

Whether you're seeking clarity, calm, or a comeback, this conversation offers real tools and fresh perspectives to help you move from reactivity to resilience, from "life is happening to me" to "I've got this."

🔍 Topics include:

• Social cohesion and emotional regulation
• The brain on behavior change
• Eustress vs. distress
• Self-care vs. self-indulgence
• Identity, beliefs, and psychological safety
• Freedom, autonomy, and finding what works for you

Because the truth is, life will come at you. The question is, what will you have in place when it does?

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In this episode we explore what comedians can teach us about timing, tenacity, and the transformative power of failure. From the brutal honesty of open mic nights to the uncanny pattern recognition honed through relentless practice, we unpack why everyone should step onto a stage at least once in their life, not for applause, but for awareness.

I share stories (including a ahem, friendly debate: my wife vs. Dave Chappelle), and we dig into the tension between confidence and competence, the pain of being disliked, and the artistry of staying curious when things fall apart. Comedy isn’t just about punchlines, it’s about presence, craft, and the courage to keep showing up.

We talk about:

• Why failure is a powerful form of feedback.
• What your relationship with humor says about your relationship with yourself.
• How to extract insight from every performance and carry it forward.
• The power of contribution through well-crafted ideas (heartfelt thank you to Denis Waitley).
• And what to do when what once lit you up… no longer does.

This episode isn’t just about comedy. It’s about craft, curiosity, and finding meaning through expression, even when the world doesn’t clap.

Because sometimes, the most important audience… is you.

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In this episode, we take a journey from the Prime Meridian to the emotional equator, where gratitude, fragility, and fierce compassion intersect. Drawing inspiration from Emile Durkheim, Jonathan Haidt, Marshall Rosenberg and Dr. Bernie Siegel, we explore how to stay grounded and emotionally regulated in high-stakes conversations without losing yourself, or the other person.

We dive into the psychology behind emotional contagion and vicarious trauma, and how your presence, not your prescription, is often the most powerful gift you can offer. You’ll learn why advice often fails, how to recognize when you’re stealing someone’s power instead of supporting them, and what "naming it to tame it" really looks like in a real conversation.

We’ll unpack the difference between sympathy and empathy, explore theory of mind, and show how non-violent communication and empathetic reflection can transform not only how we communicate, but how we believe in the people we’re speaking to.

Because in a world full of noise, the most radical thing you can do… is listen.

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What if your best performance doesn’t come from trying harder, but from letting go? In this electrifying episode, I’m joined by the brilliant Jo Groves, coach, presenter, trainer, and unapologetic story teller, who breaks down the art and science of authentic presenting.

We explore what it really means to show up: not just to deliver lines, but to create an experience. From rhythm and timing to the importance of detaching from the outcome, Jo unpacks how to move from a contrived delivery to spontaneous resonance.

We dig into the inner game of performance; why "trying" kills your flow, how to condition yourself to create on demand, and what it takes to shift from the inner critic to the insightful observer, à la The Inner Game of Tennis. Jo also dives into the power of reading the room, taking creative risks, using your environment, and why needing to be liked might just make you less likable.

This episode is a masterclass in dropping the performance anxiety and tapping into something real, present, and powerful. Because as Jo reminds us: if you’re going to show up, SHOW UP.

🎯 Whether you speak on stages, in meetings, or to a camera, this one’s for you.

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In this episode, we dismantle the sacred cows of self-help and hustle culture with equal parts honesty and introspection.

We start by questioning one of the most glorified slogans in fitness and life: “Go hard or go home.” Is it a motivational mantra… or just a socially acceptable way to ignore your body and trauma?

From there, we dive into:

· The self-inflicted damage we often call “grit” or “grind.”

· Why brutal honesty isn’t always brave, or kind.

· The conversation we wish we could have had with our younger self (and maybe still need to).

· How early experiences of chaos or neglect can shape a lifetime of risky behavior disguised as ambition.

· And finally, we zoom out: What does our evolving relationship with AI reveal about the parts of ourselves we’ve outsourced, avoided, or are just now beginning to understand?

This episode isn’t just about performance or technology, it’s about what we sacrifice, what we glorify, and what we might reclaim if we stopped confusing pain for progress.

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www.theselfhelpantidote.com