What happens when a real-life crisis puts your relationship’s progress to the ultimate test? This week, a stressful weekend surrounding their daughter’s tonsil surgery sends Bethany and Brian spiraling, revealing how a shared set of facts can tell two completely different stories and leave both partners feeling more alone than ever.

We explore how Bethany’s anxiety about their daughter triggers Brian’s own deep fear of failure, leaving him overwhelmed and unable to show up for her. The pressure becomes so intense that Brian voices a familiar thought: that continuing with a divorce would be easier than facing the pain of their disconnection.

This session is a powerful example of how high-stress situations don’t create new problems, but expose the ones already there. The central challenge becomes clear: can they learn to turn toward each other’s fear, instead of letting it drive them apart?

This week’s prompt: Think about a recent time a need went unspoken in your relationship. What were you afraid might happen if you voiced it?

Send your responses to this prompt or any questions / comments you have about the podcast via email or voice note to support@thesecurerelationship.com. Your submission might be featured on a future episode.

• Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship.
• For weekly homework assignments visit our website: The Secure Relationship Podcast
• Take Julie's Anxious Attachment Course: Anxious Attachment: Self-Work Course
• Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime

In this week’s session, we dive deeper into Brian’s inner world as he unpacks the painful feeling of being a “second-class citizen” in his relationship with Bethany. What does it mean to feel unimportant to the person you love and how does that hurt turn into anger?

We explore how Brian’s anger is rooted in a longing for connection, not control, and how his unspoken sadness transforms into name calling as he's trying everything he can in his power trying to be heard. Meanwhile, we examine how Bethany copes with his anger, often retreating and rationalizing, which only deepens their disconnection.

This episode is about building awareness and learning to catch the hurt before it becomes a fight.

This week’s prompt: Think about a time you felt overlooked or unimportant in your relationship. Where did you notice the feeling come up in your body?

Send your responses to this prompt or any questions / comments you have about the podcast via email or voice note to support@thesecurerelationship.com. Your submission might be featured on a future episode.

• Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship.
• For weekly homework assignments visit our website: The Secure Relationship Podcast
• Attend a course or worshop hosted by Julie: Attachment Theory and Relationship Growth Courses
• Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime

In the Season 2 premiere, we meet Bethany and Brian, a couple stuck in a painful cycle of conflict fueled by their attachment styles, Brian's anxious patterns and Bethany's avoidant retreat. This session lays the groundwork for the season as we explore how they each respond when triggered.

We dive into a recent fight over a Wi-Fi password, which activated Brian's deep-seated trust issues. Then, we explore Bethany's experience of being cast as the "bad guy" and her pattern of rationalizing her actions to avoid Brian's reaction.

The episode culminates in a powerful breakthrough as Brian steps into vulnerability for the first time, describing the feeling as putting on a "corny suit." Can putting on that suit be the first step toward changing their entire dynamic?

We'd love to hear from you. Send your questions, comments, or your own stories via email or voice note to support@thesecurerelationship.com. Your submission might be featured on a future episode. This week's prompt is: How do you want to feel in conflict with your partner?

• Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship.
• For weekly homework assignments visit our website: The Secure Relationship Podcast
• Attend a course or worshop hosted by Julie: Attachment Theory and Relationship Growth Courses
• Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime

In Season 2 of The Secure Love Podcast, licensed therapist and author Julie Menanno returns with a new couple: Bethany and Brian, separated, on the brink of divorce, and making one final attempt to repair their relationship.

This season you'll hear name-calling, financial betrayal, post-partum isolation and deep emotional wounds surface in real time. But beneath the hurt, there's a deeper story, one of longing, vulnerability, and a quiet hope that love might still be possible.

Whether or not your relationship looks like theirs, if you’ve ever felt disconnected, stuck in unhealthy patterns, or unsure how to move forward with your partner, you'll see yourself in their story.

Can two people who’ve hurt each other so deeply learn to connect again? Can they find their way back?

Season 2 begins next week. Subscribe now to follow their journey.

• Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship.
• For weekly homework assignments visit our website: The Secure Relationship Podcast
• Attend a course or worshop hosted by Julie: Attachment Theory and Relationship Growth Courses
• Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime

In this special live Q&A episode, Melissa, Drew, and Julie reflect on their transformative journey through 20 sessions of couples therapy. Hear why Melissa and Drew chose to take part in this experience, their initial anxieties, and what they gained along the way. They share insights into their progress, areas they’re still working on, and moments that didn’t make it onto the podcast.

Julie also dives deeper into the principles of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), explaining why her approach avoids conflict during sessions and fosters healing and connection instead. With thoughtful audience questions from the community, this episode offers a behind-the-scenes look at the breakthroughs, struggles, and lessons learned.

Join us in celebrating Melissa and Drew’s vulnerability and growth, and stay tuned for Season 2, launching this January.

• Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship.
• Visit Julie's website The Secure Relationship for all information on upcoming workshops and access to resources.
• Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime

In this episode of the Secure Love Podcast, Julie works with Drew and Melissa in their final therapy session, focusing on Drew's shame and self-acceptance. The session aims to help Drew accept himself even when his anxieties lead to imperfect behavior. Julie explains that self-acceptance—recognizing one's worth despite mistakes—is crucial for breaking the cycle of shame, which can trigger avoidant behavior and emotional withdrawal from Melissa.

Julie starts by helping Drew see the positive intentions behind his need for order, acknowledging that his perfectionism is not all negative. By celebrating this strength, Julie helps Drew open up to confronting the underlying shame. This work is particularly crucial in breaking the couple's negative cycles and building more secure attachment. When Drew can accept himself, even in moments of imperfection, it allows for better emotional connection and co-regulation between him and Melissa, which is the ultimate goal of their 20-session journey.

The session also explores how both Drew and Melissa can reassure each other during moments of imperfection, emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance for their emotional growth as a couple and their progress toward a more secure, co-regulated relationship.

Melissa and Drew will join us for a live Q&A session on Monday, December 2, at 2 PM Pacific (5 PM Eastern). Don’t miss this opportunity to learn directly from their experience. Tune in next week to hear their reflections and advice!

Register here: The Secure Love Podcast Q&A With Melissa and Drew

As we look forward to Season 2 with Bethany and Brian in January, take a moment to support this podcast by leaving a five-star review on Apple or Spotify. Together, we can spread these tools and help more couples thrive.

Thank you for listening and for joining us on this transformative journey with Melissa and Drew.

• Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship.
• Visit Julie's website The Secure Relationship for all information on upcoming workshops and access to resources.
• Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime

This week on the Secure Love Podcast the focus continues on Melissa’s experience as the anxious partner and her journey toward self-acceptance. The episode explores Melissa’s struggle to believe she can be loved—even with her fears and imperfections. Guided by Julie, Melissa begins to understand that true love, both from herself and from Drew, must include even the most anxious parts of who she is.

Julie delves into the connection between Melissa’s childhood attachment wounds and her past relationship patterns, which have fueled her fears and perfectionism. As Melissa works on self-regulation and self-compassion, she starts to let go of the exhausting pursuit of perfection, moving closer to fully embracing her authentic self.

While Melissa’s personal growth takes center stage, Julie also supports Drew in providing reassurance that speaks to Melissa’s core fears. Together, they learn how to balance emotional self-reliance with mutual support, showing that security in a relationship is built on both individual growth and shared effort.

Through their openness and vulnerability, Melissa and Drew demonstrate the transformative power of self-acceptance and secure attachment, showing that even anxious parts of ourselves can be embraced within a loving partnership.

• Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship.
• For weekly homework assignments visit Julie's website: The Secure Relationship
• Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime

In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast, host Julie Menanno focuses on Melissa’s anxious attachment style, exploring her emotional regulation challenges and the roots of her people-pleasing tendencies. Julie addresses Melissa’s need to create ideal family experiences, illustrated by her high expectations for a recent Halloween outing. Drew’s contrasting laid-back parenting style sparked conflict, revealing Melissa's struggle when he doesn’t match her enthusiasm.

Julie encourages Melissa to reflect on how her anxiety may contribute to Drew’s disengagement, pushing her to recognize and take ownership of her role in their relationship dynamics. Julie challenges Melissa to develop self-soothing skills, instead of relying solely on Drew for emotional validation, and to create space for Drew’s parenting differences. By encouraging Melissa to manage her expectations and anxieties, Julie aims to help her break negative patterns and foster greater self-confidence and emotional independence.