If you stay quiet, give her what she wants, and ignore your needs… will that make your marriage stronger? No. It makes you disappear.

In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we explain why self-sacrifice is not the same as love. People-pleasing feels like you’re doing the right thing — but it’s actually hurting your marriage.

You’ll learn why trying to keep the peace often causes more distance. And you’ll discover how to stop giving to get — and start leading with truth, calm, and real love.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✅ Why people-pleasing is not love
✅ How quiet self-sacrifice becomes hidden control
✅ Why your wife feels more pressure, not more love
✅ How to stop giving yourself away
✅ Why honesty builds safety and trust
✅ How to lead from strength, not fear

This episode will help you if:
✔️ You always try to keep your wife happy
✔️ You feel like your needs don’t matter
✔️ You avoid conflict to “keep the peace”
✔️ You feel resentful after giving so much
✔️ You want real connection, not silent frustration

Topics Covered in This Video:

Why people-pleasing kills trust and intimacy

How sacrificing yourself creates quiet resentment

Why your childhood shaped your view of love

How to stop abandoning yourself

What strong leadership in marriage really looks like

How to love your wife without losing your voice

You don’t have to earn love by staying small.
You don’t have to be silent to be a good husband.
You don’t have to disappear to feel safe.

Start showing up.
Start speaking honestly.
Start leading from peace — not panic.

If you struggle with life, marriage and relationships and are ready to thrive,check out the resources from Certified Professional Coach Bruce Abbott at https://SecureHusband.com.

#deadbedroom #marriage
#sexlessmarriage
#MarriageHelp
#SaveYourMarriage
#SecureHusband
#MarriageAdvice
#RelationshipHealing
#SelfWorth
#InnerChildHealing
#MensMentalHealth
#SelfLoveJourney
#EmotionalHealing
#OvercomeRejection
#HealthyMasculinity
#MarriageCoaching
#StopPeoplePleasing
#SelfGrowth

For informational purposes only. This is not a medical or psychological diagnosis. Consult your physician regarding any necessary mental health diagnosis and treatment options. Always seek professional medical advice before starting any new treatment or therapy. Any and all information by or on this site is provided for promotional or informational purposes only and is not to be relied upon as a professional medical opinion whatsoever. This includes all digital content, including but not exhaustive of, email, blog, podcasts, events, any and all social media (inclusive of: Facebook, YouTube, TikTok and Instagram), webinars and other content whether or not they are available for purchase, as resources or education and information only. All content mentioned does not constitute professional legal or medical advice and is not guaranteed to be accurate, complete, reliable, current or error-free. By using this site, you accept and agree that following any information or recommendations provided therein and all digital content channels is at your own risk.

You can’t control your wife.
You can’t control her mood, her actions, or how she feels.
But you can control yourself. And that changes everything.

In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we talk about why men try to control what they can’t — and how it slowly destroys connection, peace, and love.

This is for the man who feels stuck.
For the man who keeps chasing love, affection, and attention — only to feel rejected or ignored.
And for the man who is ready to stop forcing and start leading.

What you’ll learn in this episode:
✅ Why control is a reaction to fear
✅ What control is really costing you
✅ How to notice when you’re trying to manage her feelings
✅ Why surrendering control gives you power
✅ How to lead with calm, not panic
✅ What true strength looks like in a husband

This episode covers:

Why men try to control their wives

How old wounds shape your fear

The inner boy behind your need for control

What you can lead instead of trying to fix her

How to build emotional and spiritual grounding

The difference between leading and controlling

This video is for you if:
✔️ You feel afraid of losing her
✔️ You keep trying to fix her emotions
✔️ You feel responsible for how she treats you
✔️ You want peace, clarity, and connection

You were never meant to force connection.
You were meant to create safety — by becoming safe inside yourself.

Let go of what you can’t control.
Lead what you can: your emotions, your energy, your healing.

That’s where your strength is.
That’s how you stop chasing and start leading.

If you struggle with life, marriage and relationships and are ready to thrive,check out the resources from Certified Professional Coach Bruce Abbott at https://SecureHusband.com.

#deadbedroom #marriage
#sexlessmarriage
#MarriageHelp
#SaveYourMarriage
#SecureHusband
#MarriageAdvice
#RelationshipHealing
#SelfWorth
#InnerChildHealing
#MensMentalHealth
#SelfLoveJourney
#EmotionalHealing
#OvercomeRejection
#HealthyMasculinity
#MarriageCoaching
#StopPeoplePleasing
#SelfGrowth

For informational purposes only. This is not a medical or psychological diagnosis. Consult your physician regarding any necessary mental health diagnosis and treatment options. Always seek professional medical advice before starting any new treatment or therapy. Any and all information by or on this site is provided for promotional or informational purposes only and is not to be relied upon as a professional medical opinion whatsoever. This includes all digital content, including but not exhaustive of, email, blog, podcasts, events, any and all social media (inclusive of: Facebook, YouTube, TikTok and Instagram), webinars and other content whether or not they are available for purchase, as resources or education and information only. All content mentioned does not constitute professional legal or medical advice and is not guaranteed to be accurate, complete, reliable, current or error-free. By using this site, you accept and agree that following any information or recommendations provided therein and all digital content channels is at your own risk.

You didn’t choose her because you were sure.
You chose her because she saw you.
And in that moment, it felt like everything you ever wanted.

This episode of The Secure Husband Podcast speaks to the man who just realized:
“I married the first woman who gave me attention.”

You are not alone.
You are not broken.
You were starved for love — and you settled for a crumb.
But now? You’re waking up. And that changes everything.

What you’ll learn in this episode:
✅ Why emotional hunger leads to fast commitment
✅ How attention feels like love when you’ve been ignored
✅ What your younger self was really searching for
✅ How to stop feeling shame about your past choices
✅ Why healing helps you stop settling
✅ What a healthy relationship looks like when you’re secure

This episode is for you if:
✔️ You feel like you settled too early
✔️ You feel unseen in your marriage
✔️ You want more connection, respect, and emotional safety
✔️ You’re ready to stop blaming and start leading with peace

In this episode, we walk through:

What “I married the first woman who gave me attention” really means

How you confused being seen with being loved

Why this leads to pain once the excitement fades

How to speak to the boy inside you who just wanted to feel wanted

Why you need to lead from healing — not blame

How to build connection from wholeness, not need

You didn’t fail.
You made a choice from pain — and now you’re growing from truth.

Whether you stay, grow together, or move on…
You no longer settle.
You no longer beg.
You no longer betray yourself just to stay safe.

If you struggle with life, marriage and relationships and are ready to thrive,check out the resources from Certified Professional Coach Bruce Abbott at https://SecureHusband.com.

#deadbedroom #marriage
#sexlessmarriage
#MarriageHelp
#SaveYourMarriage
#SecureHusband
#MarriageAdvice
#RelationshipHealing
#SelfWorth
#InnerChildHealing
#MensMentalHealth
#SelfLoveJourney
#EmotionalHealing
#OvercomeRejection
#HealthyMasculinity
#MarriageCoaching
#StopPeoplePleasing
#SelfGrowth

For informational purposes only. This is not a medical or psychological diagnosis. Consult your physician regarding any necessary mental health diagnosis and treatment options. Always seek professional medical advice before starting any new treatment or therapy. Any and all information by or on this site is provided for promotional or informational purposes only and is not to be relied upon as a professional medical opinion whatsoever. This includes all digital content, including but not exhaustive of, email, blog, podcasts, events, any and all social media (inclusive of: Facebook, YouTube, TikTok and Instagram), webinars and other content whether or not they are available for purchase, as resources or education and information only. All content mentioned does not constitute professional legal or medical advice and is not guaranteed to be accurate, complete, reliable, current or error-free. By using this site, you accept and agree that following any information or recommendations provided therein and all digital content channels is at your own risk.

You wanted closeness. She needed space.
You chased love. She pulled away.
Now you feel stuck — and you don’t know why.

In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we explain why anxious (preoccupied) men and avoidant women are often drawn to each other. And why that spark you felt in the beginning now feels like pain.

What you'll learn:
✅ Why you were drawn to her emotional distance
✅ Why she felt safe choosing someone like you
✅ How your attachment styles locked you both in a painful loop
✅ Why the highs felt exciting — but weren’t real connection
✅ How to break the cycle and stop chasing emotional silence
✅ How secure men lead with strength and stop seeking validation

Topics covered in this episode:

The truth about anxious-avoidant attraction

How your childhood shaped what feels like love

Why distance feels like desire when you're insecure

What changes in marriage that makes this dynamic worse

The steps to stop begging and start leading

What healthy connection really looks like

This video is for you if:
✔️ You feel like you're always the one trying
✔️ Your wife avoids deep conversations
✔️ You blame yourself for needing more
✔️ You want love that feels safe — not like a fight

You don’t need to prove you’re enough.
You don’t need to earn love from someone who can’t give it.
And you don’t need to keep repeating the past.

You can choose real connection.
You can stop chasing what hurts.
You can lead your healing — and your life — with peace, not panic.

If you struggle with life, marriage and relationships and are ready to thrive,check out the resources from Certified Professional Coach Bruce Abbott at https://SecureHusband.com.

#deadbedroom #marriage
#sexlessmarriage
#MarriageHelp
#SaveYourMarriage
#SecureHusband
#MarriageAdvice
#RelationshipHealing
#SelfWorth
#InnerChildHealing
#MensMentalHealth
#SelfLoveJourney
#EmotionalHealing
#OvercomeRejection
#HealthyMasculinity
#MarriageCoaching
#StopPeoplePleasing
#SelfGrowth

For informational purposes only. This is not a medical or psychological diagnosis. Consult your physician regarding any necessary mental health diagnosis and treatment options. Always seek professional medical advice before starting any new treatment or therapy. Any and all information by or on this site is provided for promotional or informational purposes only and is not to be relied upon as a professional medical opinion whatsoever. This includes all digital content, including but not exhaustive of, email, blog, podcasts, events, any and all social media (inclusive of: Facebook, YouTube, TikTok and Instagram), webinars and other content whether or not they are available for purchase, as resources or education and information only. All content mentioned does not constitute professional legal or medical advice and is not guaranteed to be accurate, complete, reliable, current or error-free. By using this site, you accept and agree that following any information or recommendations provided therein and all digital content channels is at your own risk.

Your wife shuts down when you open up.
She pulls away when things get close.
You feel like you’re always chasing her attention.

And now you’re asking:
“Is this what love is supposed to feel like?”

In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we explain why emotionally secure men stop chasing women who are avoidant and unavailable — and what to do if you're stuck in that cycle.

You’ll learn:
✅ What avoidant attachment looks like in marriage
✅ Why insecure men feel drawn to distant women
✅ How to stop chasing emotional crumbs
✅ What secure men expect from their wives
✅ Why emotional numbness is not strength
✅ How to lead with boundaries, not begging

Here’s what we cover step-by-step:

Spot the signs of avoidant attachment

Notice how you’re chasing emotional distance

Stop mistaking emotional shutdown for strength

Heal the part of you that feels addicted to earning love

Understand why secure men walk away from these patterns

Build a life where connection is mutual and safe

This video is for you if:
✔️ Your wife avoids hard conversations
✔️ You feel like the problem — no matter how hard you try
✔️ You give your all, but get little back
✔️ You want peace, clarity, and emotional connection

The truth is simple:
Secure men don’t stay in relationships where they feel unseen, unheard, and unloved.
They don’t chase.
They don’t beg.
They lead — with calm, truth, and peace.

If you struggle with life, marriage and relationships and are ready to thrive,check out the resources from Certified Professional Coach Bruce Abbott at https://SecureHusband.com.

#deadbedroom #marriage
#sexlessmarriage
#MarriageHelp
#SaveYourMarriage
#SecureHusband
#MarriageAdvice
#RelationshipHealing
#SelfWorth
#InnerChildHealing
#MensMentalHealth
#SelfLoveJourney
#EmotionalHealing
#OvercomeRejection
#HealthyMasculinity
#MarriageCoaching
#StopPeoplePleasing
#SelfGrowth

For informational purposes only. This is not a medical or psychological diagnosis. Consult your physician regarding any necessary mental health diagnosis and treatment options. Always seek professional medical advice before starting any new treatment or therapy. Any and all information by or on this site is provided for promotional or informational purposes only and is not to be relied upon as a professional medical opinion whatsoever. This includes all digital content, including but not exhaustive of, email, blog, podcasts, events, any and all social media (inclusive of: Facebook, YouTube, TikTok and Instagram), webinars and other content whether or not they are available for purchase, as resources or education and information only. All content mentioned does not constitute professional legal or medical advice and is not guaranteed to be accurate, complete, reliable, current or error-free. By using this site, you accept and agree that following any information or recommendations provided therein and all digital content channels is at your own risk.

You think your wife doesn’t want you anymore.
She never starts sex.
She’s not like she used to be.

So you feel rejected, confused, and hurt.

But what if there’s nothing wrong with her — or you?
What if she simply experiences desire differently?

In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we explain the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire. Most men feel desire first. Most women feel desire after connection, safety, or emotional closeness.

You’ll learn:
✅ The two types of sexual desire and how they work
✅ Why your wife may not initiate but still loves you
✅ How to stop making her differences feel personal
✅ What she actually needs to feel close and connected
✅ How to build an emotional space where her desire grows

What we talk about:

Spontaneous vs. responsive desire (what they mean)

Why your wife’s desire changed after marriage

How pressure, guilt, or hinting shuts her down

Why emotional safety matters more than sex for her

What leadership looks like when her desire is slower

This episode is for husbands who:
✔️ Feel unwanted when she doesn’t start sex
✔️ Miss the closeness they once had
✔️ Think she’s broken or lost interest
✔️ Want real connection without begging or pressuring

Here’s the truth:
She’s not broken.
You’re not unwanted.
You just need a new way to lead.

This episode will help you stop reacting from pain and start building a calm, safe space where real connection — and responsive desire — can grow again.

That’s what The Secure Husband Process teaches.

If you struggle with life, marriage and relationships and are ready to thrive,check out the resources from Certified Professional Coach Bruce Abbott at https://SecureHusband.com.

#deadbedroom #marriage
#sexlessmarriage
#MarriageHelp
#SaveYourMarriage
#SecureHusband
#MarriageAdvice
#RelationshipHealing
#SelfWorth
#InnerChildHealing
#MensMentalHealth
#SelfLoveJourney
#EmotionalHealing
#OvercomeRejection
#HealthyMasculinity
#MarriageCoaching
#StopPeoplePleasing
#SelfGrowth

For informational purposes only. This is not a medical or psychological diagnosis. Consult your physician regarding any necessary mental health diagnosis and treatment options. Always seek professional medical advice before starting any new treatment or therapy. Any and all information by or on this site is provided for promotional or informational purposes only and is not to be relied upon as a professional medical opinion whatsoever. This includes all digital content, including but not exhaustive of, email, blog, podcasts, events, any and all social media (inclusive of: Facebook, YouTube, TikTok and Instagram), webinars and other content whether or not they are available for purchase, as resources or education and information only. All content mentioned does not constitute professional legal or medical advice and is not guaranteed to be accurate, complete, reliable, current or error-free. By using this site, you accept and agree that following any information or recommendations provided therein and all digital content channels is at your own risk.

Have you ever said, “Maybe we should open the marriage,” hoping to make your wife feel guilty?

Or maybe you’ve said, “I guess I’ll just find someone else who wants me.”

If so, this video is for you.

These comments don’t build connection. They break trust.

In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we explain why these threats always backfire — and what to do instead.

You’ll learn:
✅ Why most men don’t actually want an open marriage
✅ What’s really behind these threats
✅ How to stop leading with guilt or pressure
✅ What your wife hears when you make these comments
✅ How to stay strong without using fear or shame

Here’s what we cover:

Why suggesting an open marriage is not power — it’s pain

How it makes your wife feel unsafe, not closer

What’s going on under your anger, jokes, or passive threats

Why trust falls apart when you try to shock her into change

How to lead with calm truth instead of control

This video is for men who:
✔️ Feel rejected or unwanted in their marriage
✔️ Have said things out of pain they now regret
✔️ Want to rebuild trust and real intimacy
✔️ Are ready to stop reacting and start leading

You don’t need to guilt your wife into wanting you.
You don’t need to bluff about something that would destroy you.

You need strength.
You need truth.
You need to lead without fear.

That’s what The Secure Husband Process is all about.

If you struggle with life, marriage and relationships and are ready to thrive,check out the resources from Certified Professional Coach Bruce Abbott at https://SecureHusband.com.

#deadbedroom #marriage
#sexlessmarriage
#MarriageHelp
#SaveYourMarriage
#SecureHusband
#MarriageAdvice
#RelationshipHealing
#SelfWorth
#InnerChildHealing
#MensMentalHealth
#SelfLoveJourney
#EmotionalHealing
#OvercomeRejection
#HealthyMasculinity
#MarriageCoaching
#StopPeoplePleasing
#SelfGrowth

For informational purposes only. This is not a medical or psychological diagnosis. Consult your physician regarding any necessary mental health diagnosis and treatment options. Always seek professional medical advice before starting any new treatment or therapy. Any and all information by or on this site is provided for promotional or informational purposes only and is not to be relied upon as a professional medical opinion whatsoever. This includes all digital content, including but not exhaustive of, email, blog, podcasts, events, any and all social media (inclusive of: Facebook, YouTube, TikTok and Instagram), webinars and other content whether or not they are available for purchase, as resources or education and information only. All content mentioned does not constitute professional legal or medical advice and is not guaranteed to be accurate, complete, reliable, current or error-free. By using this site, you accept and agree that following any information or recommendations provided therein and all digital content channels is at your own risk.