If you stay quiet, give her what she wants, and ignore your needs… will that make your marriage stronger? No. It makes you disappear.

In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we explain why self-sacrifice is not the same as love. People-pleasing feels like you’re doing the right thing — but it’s actually hurting your marriage.

You’ll learn why trying to keep the peace often causes more distance. And you’ll discover how to stop giving to get — and start leading with truth, calm, and real love.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✅ Why people-pleasing is not love
✅ How quiet self-sacrifice becomes hidden control
✅ Why your wife feels more pressure, not more love
✅ How to stop giving yourself away
✅ Why honesty builds safety and trust
✅ How to lead from strength, not fear

This episode will help you if:
✔️ You always try to keep your wife happy
✔️ You feel like your needs don’t matter
✔️ You avoid conflict to “keep the peace”
✔️ You feel resentful after giving so much
✔️ You want real connection, not silent frustration

Topics Covered in This Video:

Why people-pleasing kills trust and intimacy

How sacrificing yourself creates quiet resentment

Why your childhood shaped your view of love

How to stop abandoning yourself

What strong leadership in marriage really looks like

How to love your wife without losing your voice

You don’t have to earn love by staying small.
You don’t have to be silent to be a good husband.
You don’t have to disappear to feel safe.

Start showing up.
Start speaking honestly.
Start leading from peace — not panic.

If you struggle with life, marriage and relationships and are ready to thrive,check out the resources from Certified Professional Coach Bruce Abbott at https://SecureHusband.com.

#deadbedroom #marriage
#sexlessmarriage
#MarriageHelp
#SaveYourMarriage
#SecureHusband
#MarriageAdvice
#RelationshipHealing
#SelfWorth
#InnerChildHealing
#MensMentalHealth
#SelfLoveJourney
#EmotionalHealing
#OvercomeRejection
#HealthyMasculinity
#MarriageCoaching
#StopPeoplePleasing
#SelfGrowth

For informational purposes only. This is not a medical or psychological diagnosis. Consult your physician regarding any necessary mental health diagnosis and treatment options. Always seek professional medical advice before starting any new treatment or therapy. Any and all information by or on this site is provided for promotional or informational purposes only and is not to be relied upon as a professional medical opinion whatsoever. This includes all digital content, including but not exhaustive of, email, blog, podcasts, events, any and all social media (inclusive of: Facebook, YouTube, TikTok and Instagram), webinars and other content whether or not they are available for purchase, as resources or education and information only. All content mentioned does not constitute professional legal or medical advice and is not guaranteed to be accurate, complete, reliable, current or error-free. By using this site, you accept and agree that following any information or recommendations provided therein and all digital content channels is at your own risk.

You can’t control your wife.
You can’t control her mood, her actions, or how she feels.
But you can control yourself. And that changes everything.

In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we talk about why men try to control what they can’t — and how it slowly destroys connection, peace, and love.

This is for the man who feels stuck.
For the man who keeps chasing love, affection, and attention — only to feel rejected or ignored.
And for the man who is ready to stop forcing and start leading.

What you’ll learn in this episode:
✅ Why control is a reaction to fear
✅ What control is really costing you
✅ How to notice when you’re trying to manage her feelings
✅ Why surrendering control gives you power
✅ How to lead with calm, not panic
✅ What true strength looks like in a husband

This episode covers:

Why men try to control their wives

How old wounds shape your fear

The inner boy behind your need for control

What you can lead instead of trying to fix her

How to build emotional and spiritual grounding

The difference between leading and controlling

This video is for you if:
✔️ You feel afraid of losing her
✔️ You keep trying to fix her emotions
✔️ You feel responsible for how she treats you
✔️ You want peace, clarity, and connection

You were never meant to force connection.
You were meant to create safety — by becoming safe inside yourself.

Let go of what you can’t control.
Lead what you can: your emotions, your energy, your healing.

That’s where your strength is.
That’s how you stop chasing and start leading.

If you struggle with life, marriage and relationships and are ready to thrive,check out the resources from Certified Professional Coach Bruce Abbott at https://SecureHusband.com.

#deadbedroom #marriage
#sexlessmarriage
#MarriageHelp
#SaveYourMarriage
#SecureHusband
#MarriageAdvice
#RelationshipHealing
#SelfWorth
#InnerChildHealing
#MensMentalHealth
#SelfLoveJourney
#EmotionalHealing
#OvercomeRejection
#HealthyMasculinity
#MarriageCoaching
#StopPeoplePleasing
#SelfGrowth

For informational purposes only. This is not a medical or psychological diagnosis. Consult your physician regarding any necessary mental health diagnosis and treatment options. Always seek professional medical advice before starting any new treatment or therapy. Any and all information by or on this site is provided for promotional or informational purposes only and is not to be relied upon as a professional medical opinion whatsoever. This includes all digital content, including but not exhaustive of, email, blog, podcasts, events, any and all social media (inclusive of: Facebook, YouTube, TikTok and Instagram), webinars and other content whether or not they are available for purchase, as resources or education and information only. All content mentioned does not constitute professional legal or medical advice and is not guaranteed to be accurate, complete, reliable, current or error-free. By using this site, you accept and agree that following any information or recommendations provided therein and all digital content channels is at your own risk.

You didn’t choose her because you were sure.
You chose her because she saw you.
And in that moment, it felt like everything you ever wanted.

This episode of The Secure Husband Podcast speaks to the man who just realized:
“I married the first woman who gave me attention.”

You are not alone.
You are not broken.
You were starved for love — and you settled for a crumb.
But now? You’re waking up. And that changes everything.

What you’ll learn in this episode:
✅ Why emotional hunger leads to fast commitment
✅ How attention feels like love when you’ve been ignored
✅ What your younger self was really searching for
✅ How to stop feeling shame about your past choices
✅ Why healing helps you stop settling
✅ What a healthy relationship looks like when you’re secure

This episode is for you if:
✔️ You feel like you settled too early
✔️ You feel unseen in your marriage
✔️ You want more connection, respect, and emotional safety
✔️ You’re ready to stop blaming and start leading with peace

In this episode, we walk through:

What “I married the first woman who gave me attention” really means

How you confused being seen with being loved

Why this leads to pain once the excitement fades

How to speak to the boy inside you who just wanted to feel wanted

Why you need to lead from healing — not blame

How to build connection from wholeness, not need

You didn’t fail.
You made a choice from pain — and now you’re growing from truth.

Whether you stay, grow together, or move on…
You no longer settle.
You no longer beg.
You no longer betray yourself just to stay safe.

If you struggle with life, marriage and relationships and are ready to thrive,check out the resources from Certified Professional Coach Bruce Abbott at https://SecureHusband.com.

#deadbedroom #marriage
#sexlessmarriage
#MarriageHelp
#SaveYourMarriage
#SecureHusband
#MarriageAdvice
#RelationshipHealing
#SelfWorth
#InnerChildHealing
#MensMentalHealth
#SelfLoveJourney
#EmotionalHealing
#OvercomeRejection
#HealthyMasculinity
#MarriageCoaching
#StopPeoplePleasing
#SelfGrowth

For informational purposes only. This is not a medical or psychological diagnosis. Consult your physician regarding any necessary mental health diagnosis and treatment options. Always seek professional medical advice before starting any new treatment or therapy. Any and all information by or on this site is provided for promotional or informational purposes only and is not to be relied upon as a professional medical opinion whatsoever. This includes all digital content, including but not exhaustive of, email, blog, podcasts, events, any and all social media (inclusive of: Facebook, YouTube, TikTok and Instagram), webinars and other content whether or not they are available for purchase, as resources or education and information only. All content mentioned does not constitute professional legal or medical advice and is not guaranteed to be accurate, complete, reliable, current or error-free. By using this site, you accept and agree that following any information or recommendations provided therein and all digital content channels is at your own risk.