This week, Salma sits down with Pakistani trans woman, celebrity makeup artist and content creator Ayman to talk about the extraordinary journey that led her to becoming the woman she always knew she was.

As a child, Ayman had a recurring dream about a mysterious girl she could never quite see…until years later, after transitioning, she realized the woman she had been chasing was herself.

Ayman opens up about growing up between Pakistan, Saudi Arabia and the U.S.; experimenting with femininity and makeup from childhood; being put on testosterone as a teenager in an attempt to make her more masculine; coming out to her family; losing their financial support and experiencing homelessness; surviving abuse and sexual assault; and eventually building a career and online community for queer and trans South Asians who had never seen themselves represented.

At the heart of the conversation is also the grief of growing up without the unconditional love you needed from a parent. Ayman shares the devastating moment that changed her relationship with her mother forever, and she and Salma talk about what it means to grow up, grieve the mother you needed, and eventually learn to care for the child inside you yourself.

They also talk about Islam, Hajj, family rejection and reconciliation, the hypersexualization of trans women, and why, at 36, Ayman still considers herself a virgin. For Ayman, sex isn't about marriage or purity. It's about finally loving the body she fought to make her own, feeling completely safe with another person, and knowing that sometimes, love simply isn't enough.

HELP KEEP THE POD ALIVE FOR 2026, DONATE TO OUR GOFUNDME: https://gofund.me/f646f3082

CREDITS:

Host & Creator: Salma Hindy
Special Guest: Ayman Syed
Executive Producer: Salma Hindy
Videographer & Sound Engineer: Patrick Samaha
Written By: Salma Hindy
Edited By: Salma Hindy
Studio: 30 Irving Studios
Makeup: Ayman Syed
Artwork: Rana Omar
Social Media Intern: Noor Jehan Ansari
Grants & Sponsorship Intern: Christina Saoud

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2026

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy

What really happens in the Muslim Students Association? Was the MSA a place of belonging, or a place where everyone learned how to hide?

In the podcast’s first-ever panel episode, Salma Hindy is joined by Rania Hannan and Noor Jehan Ansari to unpack the halal, the haram, and the VERY haram of MSA culture, featuring YOUR submitted stories.

Each woman had a very different experience inside Muslim student communities: from finding friendship, belonging, and leadership opportunities to experiencing judgment, exclusion, and religious policing.

This episode explores:

gender segregation

haram police

marriage and flirting culture

secret relationships

sexual repression

queer inclusion

the wildly different standards placed on Muslim men and women.

Rania felt judged and excluded from her high school MSA, lost her virginity to the MSA president, who gave her STDs while publicly preaching about how everyone else should NOT be having sex. Meanwhile, he was hooking up with multiple women and knew exactly how to sneak them into his house without the stairs creaking. This experience pushed her further away from the Muslim community,

The most recent graduate, Noor Jehan helped rebuild her MSA after COVID. She navigated debates around gender and inclusion, and fought to create a Muslim community that actually felt welcoming, especially to queer Muslims, while facing reluctance from her university to provide Muslim students with resources.

Salma grew up in a Muslim bubble, where your entire social world is Muslim and interacting with anyone outside of it is foreign. As an MSA leader, she went from trying to convert people on campus to watching everyone around her get married in their early 20s and wondering why she couldn’t do the same. Ten years later, she’s heard from some of those women whose lives she once idolized, and learned some of them regret the paths they took. Salma also unpacks what it’s like growing up in a Muslim bubble, when your entire social world is Muslim and interacting with anyone outside of it can feel completely foreign.

HELP KEEP THE POD ALIVE FOR 2026, DONATE TO OUR GOFUNDME: https://gofund.me/f646f3082

CREDITS:

Host & Creator: Salma Hindy

Executive Producer: Salma Hindy

Associate Producer: Noor Jehan Ansari

Videographer & Sound Engineer: Patrick Samaha

Written By: Salma Hindy

Edited By: Salma Hindy

Studio: 30 Irving Studios

Artwork: Rana Omar

Social Media Intern: Noor Jehan Ansari

Grants & Sponsorship Intern: Christina Saoud

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2026

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy

We are spilling the tea, honey! On the surface, this is the story of the guy Salma lost her virginity to. But it's really the story of what happened after she lost her family.

A few months after taking off her hijab and moving to New York completely alone, Salma found herself in Dahab, Egypt, where she met a 24-year-old hotel owner who would unknowingly become the person she would lose her virginity to.

In this episode, she shares the full story: the spontaneous one-night stand that became her first sexual relationship at 30, returning to Egypt at 31 on a mission to lose her virginity, and the emotional spiral that followed. But beneath the romance is something much deeper. Losing her family, followed by losing her virginity, cracked open a level of grief she didn't know she was carrying. Sex didn't just change her relationship to intimacy. It became the portal through which years of abandonment, religious shame, loneliness, and unresolved trauma came rushing to the surface.

Looking back, she unpacks everything she couldn't see at the time: how complex PTSD, never having dated before, and growing up in a high-control religious environment caused her to confuse chemistry with safety, fantasy with reality, and attention with love. She also explores anxious attachment, "preemptive exclusivity," finally having penetrative sex after years of vaginismus, and the painful difference between what actually happened... and the story she was telling herself.

This is one of the most vulnerable episodes of The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women yet because it introduces a version of Salma that only her closest friends have ever known: the insecure, obsessive, terrified romantic underneath the confident comedian.

If you've ever fallen for someone's potential, mistaken chemistry for love, or realized the imprint of your father was shaping the partners you chose, this episode is for you.

HELP KEEP THE POD ALIVE FOR 2026, DONATE TO OUR GOFUNDME: https://gofund.me/f646f3082

CREDITS:

Host & Creator: Salma Hindy
Executive Producer: Salma Hindy
Videographer & Sound Engineer: Patrick Samaha
Written By: Salma Hindy
Edited By: Salma Hindy
Studio: 30 Irving Studios
Artwork: Rana Omar
Social Media Intern: Noor Jehan Ansari
Grants & Sponsorship Intern: Christina Saoud

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2026

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy

What happens after the hijab comes off?

In this deeply personal solo episode, Salma Hindy shares the year-long journey between deciding to remove her hijab and finally taking it off publicly. She opens up about the immense pressure she put on herself to do it before turning 30, the secret double life she lived during that transition, and the fear that she would lose everything that had defined her.

She reflects on questioning her faith, navigating family expectations, announcing her intentions of removing the hijab for the first time on stage, and rebuilding her identity from the ground up. From discovering her natural curls for the first time to wondering whether she was even funny without the hijab, Salma shares what it felt like to perform stand-up comedy without the identity that had shaped both her life and her career for over two decades.

She shares the late-night rooftop moments that changed her, the panic attacks before posting the announcement, why she kept wearing the hijab on stage after taking it off in real life, the backlash from her community, and what it was actually like to rebuild her confidence, sexuality, friendships, comedy career, and identity from scratch.

Conservative communities often assume that leaving religion means your life will fall apart. Western society often assumes that leaving means instant liberation.

The reality is much less glamorous. You start from scratch.

You have to discover who you are without the safety blanket of the hijab as your identity. You have to figure out what you actually believe, how you want to dress, what your hair really looks like, whether you're still funny, how you want to date, and what kind of life you want to build.

The non-traditional path isn't easier than the traditional one. It's just different. Instead of following someone else's rules, you now have to write your own. It doesn't automatically make you free. It gives you more choices, more uncertainty, and more responsibility. Every decision becomes yours.

The reality is…you're probably not going to become a homeless heroin addict. You're probably not going to become Kim Kardashian either. You're just going to become yourself.

HELP KEEP THE POD ALIVE FOR 2026, DONATE TO OUR GOFUNDME: https://gofund.me/f646f3082

CREDITS:

Host & Creator: Salma Hindy
Executive Producer: Salma Hindy
Associate Producer: Noor Jehan Ansari
Videographer & Sound Engineer: Patrick Samaha
Written By: Salma Hindy
Edited By: Salma Hindy
Studio: 30 Irving Studios
Artwork: Rana Omar
Social Media Intern: Noor Jehan Ansari
Grants & Sponsorship Intern: Christina Saoud

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2026

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy

Your body is talking to you right now. But what happens when your body gives you an answer you weren’t expecting?

In this episode, Salma sits down with “Aisha,” a Muslim woman in her early 40s who grew up trying to be the perfect “good girl” while carrying years of religious shame, sexual conditioning, and chronic pelvic pain (which she first noticed when she started having sex with white, non-Muslim men).

Aisha shares her journey with pelvic floor dysfunction, painful sex, vaginismus, and the mind-body connection, including how trauma, anxiety, suppressed emotions, and inherited beliefs around sex showed up in her body. Despite living with vaginismus and other pelvic floor conditions, Aisha is able to have penetrative sex in ways that actually feel good. She talks about building a sex life rooted in communication, curiosity, and play, and how having a patient, loving partner helped her expand intimacy beyond pressure and performance. Unlike many women with vaginismus, Aisha’s husband puts absolutely no pressure on her, and that safety has been a catalyst for deeper intimacy and healing.

Aisha also opens up about her miscarriage and the complicated relief she felt after months of excruciating pain during pregnancy. That experience led her to listen to and care for her body more deeply, and to question what motherhood could look like for her: alternate paths to building a family, becoming a motherly figure in other ways, or choosing a child-free future with her husband.

Together, Salma and Aisha talk about religious deconstruction, sexual shame, pelvic floor healing, miscarriage, motherhood, marriage, somatic tools to regulate your nervous system when triggered, and the terrifying freedom of realizing that you can change your life. Whether it’s a relationship, a job, a friendship, a family expectation, or a version of womanhood you inherited, this episode is about learning to trust your body when it says: this is not working anymore.

Listen to your f*cking body. She knows.

HELP KEEP THE POD ALIVE FOR 2026, DONATE TO OUR GOFUNDME: https://gofund.me/f646f3082

CREDITS:

Host & Creator: Salma Hindy
Executive Producer: Salma Hindy
Written By: Salma Hindy
Edited By: Salma Hindy
Artwork: Rana Omar

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2026

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy

In this deeply personal solo episode, host Salma Hindy shares what really happened during six ayahuasca ceremonies in Egypt: including visions involving family trauma, religion, sexuality, heartbreak, vaginismus, emotionally unavailable men, and the hidden emotional pain carried through generations. What begins as a spiritual exploration slowly turns into something far more unsettling, healing, and transformative.

Across multiple ceremonies led by facilitators, shamans, and complete chaos in the Sinai desert, Salma describes purging grief from her body, revisiting childhood wounds, confronting her relationship to men and “the male energy,” and uncovering disturbing patterns surrounding shame, consent, religion, and silence within Muslim families. The episode also explores the emotional aftermath of loss, creative collapse, romantic heartbreak, and the search for spiritual meaning during periods of deep isolation.

This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, trauma, religion, mental health, plant medicine, and family abuse. It also somehow includes: Quran played during ayahuasca ceremonies, hot tattooed Egyptians, shared puke buckets in the desert, a Brazilian shaman threatening to cancel a retreat, a Taylor Swift ego death moment, and Salma sobbing over a 21-year-old while being held by a man who looked like he walked off the set of Gladiator. Proceed carefully.

Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, marital coercion, family trauma, religion, mental health, and plant medicine.

HELP KEEP THE POD ALIVE FOR 2026, DONATE TO OUR GOFUNDME: https://gofund.me/f646f3082

CREDITS:

Host & Creator: Salma Hindy
Executive Producer: Salma Hindy
Videographer & Sound Engineer: Patrick Samaha
Written By: Salma Hindy
Edited By: Salma Hindy
Studio: 30 Irving Studios
Artwork: Rana Omar

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2026

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy

This week on The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, Salma sits down with Spozhmi, an Afghan-Canadian woman, to share her journey of discovering her sexuality, falling in love with her partner of 10 years, and choosing herself in the face of cultural and familial pressure.

From being taken back to Afghanistan for an arranged marriage… to secretly building a relationship with a woman… to coming out to her family twice - first through a handwritten letter, and years later again over the phone - this is a story about love, identity, and the cost of living your truth.

Later in the episode, her partner Taylor joins to share what it’s been like navigating this journey together.

A powerful conversation on love, belonging, and breaking generational patterns.

To learn more about Spozhmi’s work, visit lovenaturally.ca

HELP KEEP THE POD ALIVE FOR 2026, DONATE TO OUR GOFUNDME: https://gofund.me/f646f3082

CREDITS:

Host & Creator: Salma Hindy
Executive Producer: Salma Hindy
Written By: Salma Hindy
Edited By: Salma Hindy
Artwork: Rana Omar

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2026

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy

For years, this has been the number one question she’s been asked: Why did you take the hijab off? In this deeply personal solo episode, Salma finally shares the full story, five years later.

This wasn’t one decision made in one moment. It was a long, painful, complicated unraveling shaped by heartbreak, therapy, faith, isolation, family pressure, and the slow realization that her relationship to the hijab was tied to much more than modesty. Salma reflects on growing up loving the hijab, the comfort and identity it gave her, and what began to surface when she started questioning religion, power, hypocrisy, and her own autonomy.

She opens up about the first time she ever went out without it, the fear she carried around her father, the grief of disappointing her family, and the devastation that followed choosing herself. She also speaks to the beauty that still exists in her relationship to Islam, and why this story is not about rejecting her faith, but about being honest about what this journey has actually cost her.

One of Salma’s most intimate episodes yet, this is a conversation about faith, identity, family, and the courage it takes to choose yourself - even when it changes everything.

This episode is for the Muslim girls. I love you.

HELP KEEP THE POD ALIVE FOR 2026, DONATE TO OUR GOFUNDME: https://gofund.me/f646f3082

CREDITS:
Host & Creator: Salma Hindy
Executive Producer: Salma Hindy
Associate Producer: Rania Harris
Videographer & Sound Engineer: Patrick Samaha
Writer: Salma Hindy
Editor: Luke Davis
Studio: 30 Irving Studios
Artwork: Rana Omar

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2026

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy