What happens after the hijab comes off?

In this deeply personal solo episode, Salma Hindy shares the year-long journey between deciding to remove her hijab and finally taking it off publicly. She opens up about the immense pressure she put on herself to do it before turning 30, the secret double life she lived during that transition, and the fear that she would lose everything that had defined her.

She reflects on questioning her faith, navigating family expectations, announcing her intentions of removing the hijab for the first time on stage, and rebuilding her identity from the ground up. From discovering her natural curls for the first time to wondering whether she was even funny without the hijab, Salma shares what it felt like to perform stand-up comedy without the identity that had shaped both her life and her career for over two decades.

She shares the late-night rooftop moments that changed her, the panic attacks before posting the announcement, why she kept wearing the hijab on stage after taking it off in real life, the backlash from her community, and what it was actually like to rebuild her confidence, sexuality, friendships, comedy career, and identity from scratch.

Conservative communities often assume that leaving religion means your life will fall apart. Western society often assumes that leaving means instant liberation.

The reality is much less glamorous. You start from scratch.

You have to discover who you are without the safety blanket of the hijab as your identity. You have to figure out what you actually believe, how you want to dress, what your hair really looks like, whether you're still funny, how you want to date, and what kind of life you want to build.

The non-traditional path isn't easier than the traditional one. It's just different. Instead of following someone else's rules, you now have to write your own. It doesn't automatically make you free. It gives you more choices, more uncertainty, and more responsibility. Every decision becomes yours.

The reality is…you're probably not going to become a homeless heroin addict. You're probably not going to become Kim Kardashian either. You're just going to become yourself.

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CREDITS:

Host & Creator: Salma Hindy
Executive Producer: Salma Hindy
Associate Producer: Noor Jehan Ansari
Videographer & Sound Engineer: Patrick Samaha
Written By: Salma Hindy
Edited By: Salma Hindy
Studio: 30 Irving Studios
Artwork: Rana Omar
Social Media Intern: Noor Jehan Ansari
Grants & Sponsorship Intern: Christina Saoud

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2026

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy

Your body is talking to you right now. But what happens when your body gives you an answer you weren’t expecting?

In this episode, Salma sits down with “Aisha,” a Muslim woman in her early 40s who grew up trying to be the perfect “good girl” while carrying years of religious shame, sexual conditioning, and chronic pelvic pain (which she first noticed when she started having sex with white, non-Muslim men).

Aisha shares her journey with pelvic floor dysfunction, painful sex, vaginismus, and the mind-body connection, including how trauma, anxiety, suppressed emotions, and inherited beliefs around sex showed up in her body. Despite living with vaginismus and other pelvic floor conditions, Aisha is able to have penetrative sex in ways that actually feel good. She talks about building a sex life rooted in communication, curiosity, and play, and how having a patient, loving partner helped her expand intimacy beyond pressure and performance. Unlike many women with vaginismus, Aisha’s husband puts absolutely no pressure on her, and that safety has been a catalyst for deeper intimacy and healing.

Aisha also opens up about her miscarriage and the complicated relief she felt after months of excruciating pain during pregnancy. That experience led her to listen to and care for her body more deeply, and to question what motherhood could look like for her: alternate paths to building a family, becoming a motherly figure in other ways, or choosing a child-free future with her husband.

Together, Salma and Aisha talk about religious deconstruction, sexual shame, pelvic floor healing, miscarriage, motherhood, marriage, somatic tools to regulate your nervous system when triggered, and the terrifying freedom of realizing that you can change your life. Whether it’s a relationship, a job, a friendship, a family expectation, or a version of womanhood you inherited, this episode is about learning to trust your body when it says: this is not working anymore.

Listen to your f*cking body. She knows.

HELP KEEP THE POD ALIVE FOR 2026, DONATE TO OUR GOFUNDME: https://gofund.me/f646f3082

CREDITS:

Host & Creator: Salma Hindy
Executive Producer: Salma Hindy
Written By: Salma Hindy
Edited By: Salma Hindy
Artwork: Rana Omar

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2026

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy

In this deeply personal solo episode, host Salma Hindy shares what really happened during six ayahuasca ceremonies in Egypt: including visions involving family trauma, religion, sexuality, heartbreak, vaginismus, emotionally unavailable men, and the hidden emotional pain carried through generations. What begins as a spiritual exploration slowly turns into something far more unsettling, healing, and transformative.

Across multiple ceremonies led by facilitators, shamans, and complete chaos in the Sinai desert, Salma describes purging grief from her body, revisiting childhood wounds, confronting her relationship to men and “the male energy,” and uncovering disturbing patterns surrounding shame, consent, religion, and silence within Muslim families. The episode also explores the emotional aftermath of loss, creative collapse, romantic heartbreak, and the search for spiritual meaning during periods of deep isolation.

This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, trauma, religion, mental health, plant medicine, and family abuse. It also somehow includes: Quran played during ayahuasca ceremonies, hot tattooed Egyptians, shared puke buckets in the desert, a Brazilian shaman threatening to cancel a retreat, a Taylor Swift ego death moment, and Salma sobbing over a 21-year-old while being held by a man who looked like he walked off the set of Gladiator. Proceed carefully.

Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, marital coercion, family trauma, religion, mental health, and plant medicine.

HELP KEEP THE POD ALIVE FOR 2026, DONATE TO OUR GOFUNDME: https://gofund.me/f646f3082

CREDITS:

Host & Creator: Salma Hindy
Executive Producer: Salma Hindy
Videographer & Sound Engineer: Patrick Samaha
Written By: Salma Hindy
Edited By: Salma Hindy
Studio: 30 Irving Studios
Artwork: Rana Omar

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2026

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy

This week on The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, Salma sits down with Spozhmi, an Afghan-Canadian woman, to share her journey of discovering her sexuality, falling in love with her partner of 10 years, and choosing herself in the face of cultural and familial pressure.

From being taken back to Afghanistan for an arranged marriage… to secretly building a relationship with a woman… to coming out to her family twice - first through a handwritten letter, and years later again over the phone - this is a story about love, identity, and the cost of living your truth.

Later in the episode, her partner Taylor joins to share what it’s been like navigating this journey together.

A powerful conversation on love, belonging, and breaking generational patterns.

To learn more about Spozhmi’s work, visit lovenaturally.ca

HELP KEEP THE POD ALIVE FOR 2026, DONATE TO OUR GOFUNDME: https://gofund.me/f646f3082

CREDITS:

Host & Creator: Salma Hindy
Executive Producer: Salma Hindy
Written By: Salma Hindy
Edited By: Salma Hindy
Artwork: Rana Omar

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2026

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy

For years, this has been the number one question she’s been asked: Why did you take the hijab off? In this deeply personal solo episode, Salma finally shares the full story, five years later.

This wasn’t one decision made in one moment. It was a long, painful, complicated unraveling shaped by heartbreak, therapy, faith, isolation, family pressure, and the slow realization that her relationship to the hijab was tied to much more than modesty. Salma reflects on growing up loving the hijab, the comfort and identity it gave her, and what began to surface when she started questioning religion, power, hypocrisy, and her own autonomy.

She opens up about the first time she ever went out without it, the fear she carried around her father, the grief of disappointing her family, and the devastation that followed choosing herself. She also speaks to the beauty that still exists in her relationship to Islam, and why this story is not about rejecting her faith, but about being honest about what this journey has actually cost her.

One of Salma’s most intimate episodes yet, this is a conversation about faith, identity, family, and the courage it takes to choose yourself - even when it changes everything.

This episode is for the Muslim girls. I love you.

HELP KEEP THE POD ALIVE FOR 2026, DONATE TO OUR GOFUNDME: https://gofund.me/f646f3082

CREDITS:
Host & Creator: Salma Hindy
Executive Producer: Salma Hindy
Associate Producer: Rania Harris
Videographer & Sound Engineer: Patrick Samaha
Writer: Salma Hindy
Editor: Luke Davis
Studio: 30 Irving Studios
Artwork: Rana Omar

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2026

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy

Vaginismus is curable. And it’s not something that should take years.

In this episode, Salma sits down with pelvic floor physiotherapist and “Vagina Rehab Doctor” Janelle Howell to unpack the truth about sexual pain, healing, and what it actually takes to feel safe and connected in your body. What starts as a conversation about vaginismus quickly opens into something much bigger: shame, religion, pleasure, power, and the way so many women have been taught to disconnect from themselves.

Salma shares her full journey: from experiencing searing pain during her first sexual encounter, to navigating dilators, hookups, injury, and slowly finding her way to pleasure and confidence. Janelle breaks down why vaginismus is both physical and psychological, why so many treatments fall short, and how women can heal faster when they’re actually taught how to understand and trust their bodies.

She shares that most of the women she works with are married. Many of them struggle in silence for years, unable to consummate their relationships. And yes, healing is possible for everyone: one woman was finally able to have sex after 16 years of marriage…in cowgirl!

Janelle’s 5-step approach to healing includes: acknowledging fear and pain patterns, understanding and releasing the pelvic floor, guided dilation and tissue work, rebuilding confidence, and safely transitioning to penetration with a partner.

This episode is for the Muslim girlies everywhere navigating vaginismus in silence - carrying shame, confusion, and pressure without the language or support to understand what’s happening in your body. You are not alone in this. There is nothing wrong with you. In the words of Dr. Janelle, “your body is not broken, it’s bougie.” Healing is possible for you, so long as you have an obnoxious amount of hope.

Donate to our GoFundMe to keep the pod afloat for 2026: https://gofund.me/f646f3082

CREDITS:

Host & Creator: Salma Hindy

Executive Producer: Salma Hindy

Associate Producer: Rania Harris

Videographer & Sound Engineer: Patrick Samaha

Writer: Salma Hindy

Editor: Salma Hindy

Studio: 30 Irving Studios

Artwork: Rana Omar

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2026

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy

In this deeply personal solo episode, Salma reflects on the two heartbreaks that changed her life (one romantic, one a friendship) and the painful realization that she was the one who ended them.

Two years ago, after losing her family, moving 19 times, living in survival mode, and spiraling through manic travel, chaos, and sexual hunger, Salma met two people who were sweet, sensitive, and safe. And when things started to feel intimate…she panicked.

For the first time, she explores her avoidant attachment - not the anxious narrative she used to blame men for, but the part of her that burns things down when they get too good. She opens up about how she pushed away Joaquin (the only man in America she’s slept with), how she sabotaged her friendship with Didi, and how her nervous system (dysregulated, grieving, and terrified of real intimacy) made her mistake sweetness for danger.

This episode includes excerpts from letters exchanged between Salma and her therapist as they closed two years of therapy together. It’s raw. It’s recent. And it’s the most honest she’s been about her patterns.

She talks about:

• Growing up in dysfunction and confusing chaos for connection
• Why her avoidance shows up when things are going well, NOT during conflict
• Trauma bonding vs. true intimacy
• Sexual imprinting, jealousy, and nervous system dysregulation
• Celibacy after heartbreak and assault
• Learning to “stay” instead of explode
• The difference between chasing unavailable men and allowing real love to bloom
• Being the first woman in her bloodline to choose a life not structured around marriage

Now, Salma is in uncharted territory: practicing slowness, living in her present reality in New York, and allowing a new connection to unfold without control, sabotage, or fantasy.

This episode is a love letter to Joaquin & Didi.
I’m sorry I lost you.

Recorded February 16, the last day of The Year of the Snake.

CREDITS:

Host & Creator: Salma Hindy

Executive Producer: Salma Hindy

Associate Producer: Rania Harris

Writer & Editor: Salma Hindy

Studio: 30 Irving Studios

Artwork: Rana Omar

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2026

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy

What does it really mean to “obey your parents”? And what happens when obedience becomes suffocation?

In this pillar episode, Salma is joined by an anonymous guest, Fatima, for a deeply honest conversation about emotional enmeshment, delayed adulthood, and what it actually takes to cut the cord. Fatima grew up in a close-knit Arab Muslim family in the U.K. where independence was only acceptable through marriage. Despite being asexual and aromantic - and having no interest in men - she was taught that the only way out of her parents’ house was as a wife.

What followed was a years-long attempt to do everything right: changing careers (from architecture to engineering to teaching) to appear more “wife-friendly,” tolerating constant scrutiny, and engaging in the arranged marriage process as an exit strategy rather than a desire. That path ultimately led to a breaking point when Fatima was GHOSTED AT HER KATB KITAB (Islamic Wedding) and then blamed by her parents, accused of wrongdoing, and subjected to even more control. It was then that she realized what so many adult children eventually learn: there is no finish line, no amount of obedience that guarantees peace, and no way to make your parents happy by sacrificing yourself.

In this episode, Fatima walks us through the practical, financial, and emotional steps she took to move out of her parents’ house, including how she secretly saved money, planned her exit, managed guilt, and rebuilt her life afterward. Salma weaves in her own experience of individuation, grief, and the disorienting freedom that comes after leaving and rebuilding a life without parental guardrails.

This conversation is for anyone who keeps asking, “How do I actually get out?” If this episode stirs up anger, grief, or urgency in you, that doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It means you’re waking up.

This is a pillar episode of the podcast. If you listen to only one, let it be this one.

CREDITS:

Host & Creator: Salma Hindy
Executive Producer: Salma Hindy
Editor: Salma Hindy
Artwork: Rana Omar

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2025

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy