Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions of rape, alcoholism, domestic violence, and abuse. Please listen with care.

This week, Salma sits down with trauma-informed divorce coach Sarzana Zafar - divorced twice (because once is boring) - to unpack the father wound and consent.

Sarzana shares her journey from growing up with an alcoholic father in a Muslim community that judged and shamed instead of helping, to being date-raped at 19 when her repeated “no”s were ignored. What followed was a decade of trauma work, divorce, and reclaiming her voice. Today, she roars her boundaries. Like on her most recent Muzzmatch date, where he tried to kiss her after she’d already refused twice, and she shouted, “No means no. Did you not hear me the first two times?” before he cartoon-drove off in fear.

Together, Salma and Sarzana unpack the infamous hadith that says if a wife refuses her husband in bed, the angels curse her until morning. Salma reflects on how this teaching has been weaponized to manipulate women into non-consensual sex, while Sarzana explains how it disconnected her from her own body - even when she was eager, her husband questioned whether she was doing it for herself or just for God.

The conversation spans father wounds, how patience from a lover can be the ultimate turn-on, and the radical power of saying no. Salma recalls learning the mantra “If it’s not a fuck yes, it’s a no” at sex clubs - and adds her own gospel: “If you don’t go down on women but expect them to go down on you, you can die.” And a message to Desi men everywhere from Sarzana: “if you want your wife to be a freak in the sheets, get out of your parents’ homes.”

CREDITS:
Host & Creator: Salma Hindy
Executive Producers: Sara Hussain & Salma Hindy
Cinematographer: Patrick Samaha
Studio: 30 Irving Studios
Editor: Salma Hindy
Artwork: Rana Omar

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2025

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy

For the Love of Sex: Lover Girl with a Body Count of 100+

This week, Salma sits down with Yasmine, a Karachi-born lover girl who has lived, loved, and - by her own account - slept with half of Dubai. With a body count well over 100, Yasmine opens up about her wildest experiences: from sex parties, kinks, and threesomes (including one she literally walked out of mid-session), to discovering the healing power of an open relationship.

Raised under a mother who shamed her body and nitpicked every detail, Yasmine spent her 20s on a spree of sex - centering the male gaze - to prove she was desirable, even if her mom never knew. That journey led to her becoming a pandemic bride (marrying her first boyfriend to appease her parents), a divorce, and ultimately a much healthier love story: a gorgeous, white partner who values sex as deeply as she does. Together, they treat sex as an art form - aligning on openness, trust, communication, and chemistry. (Fun fact: she blew his mind on their first night by squirting in his mouth.)

Yasmine also dives into bisexuality, body image, discovering who she is outside of the male gaze, putting “I hate hawk-tuah spit noises in bed” on her Type A Feeld profile, and her time doing sex work in Canada - where the hardest part wasn’t the sex itself, but fake-laughing at men’s jokes while most of her elderly clients “smelled like death.” She also explains why conventionally hot men are often the worst in bed, and why her favorite flavor of cock is Egyptian.

Salma listens to a wiser, more experienced sexual baddie - and then flips the script to ask: is this a sex addiction? She reflects on her own celibacy, trauma, and what happens when you stop chasing love and hold everything constant. Together, they dig into the real talk around body image, family shame, dating in a new country, and the ongoing struggle of Muslim girls claiming space for their sexuality.

CREDITS:
Host & Creator: Salma Hindy
Executive Producers: Salma Hindy & Sara Hussain
Editor: Salma Hindy
Artwork: Rana Omar

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2025

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy

Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault, Sexual Coercion

Iranian-American Sasha got her first period because of 9/11 (yes, really). Growing up in the Midwest to a cultural - NOT religious - family, her life became a crash course in contradictions: purity rings and sex-ed teachers calling girls “hoes,” a mom who said virgins are chocolates in fancy wrappers, dating a man she wasn’t attracted to for three years, being sexually assaulted by him, and hearing her mom respond, “It’s your fault.” She chased a man into the street for sex, cried after a hookup couldn’t get it up, scrolled Tinder to find a husband, and finally lost her virginity at 28. Only then did she realize the “treasure” she’d been protecting was never what she was promised.

This is the messy, hilarious, and heartbreaking reality of being too virgin for the West, too slut for the East. Sasha unpacks the impossible contradictions of Muslim womanhood, and what happens when you finally decide to have sex on your own terms.

If you need support:

• Global: Use the NO MORE Global Directory to find sexual assault and domestic violence hotlines wherever you are in the world.
• United States: Call the RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or use their online chat. Support is free and confidential, 24/7.
• Canada: Contact the Talk4Healing Helpline at 1-855-554-HEAL (for women in Ontario) or the Canadian Association of Sexual Assault Centres (CASAC) via casac.ca.

CREDITS:
Host & Creator: Salma Hindy
Executive Producers: Salma Hindy & Sara Hussain
Editor: Salma Hindy
Artwork: Rana Omar

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2025

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy