This week, Salma sits down with Pakistani trans woman, celebrity makeup artist and content creator Ayman to talk about the extraordinary journey that led her to becoming the woman she always knew she was.

As a child, Ayman had a recurring dream about a mysterious girl she could never quite see…until years later, after transitioning, she realized the woman she had been chasing was herself.

Ayman opens up about growing up between Pakistan, Saudi Arabia and the U.S.; experimenting with femininity and makeup from childhood; being put on testosterone as a teenager in an attempt to make her more masculine; coming out to her family; losing their financial support and experiencing homelessness; surviving abuse and sexual assault; and eventually building a career and online community for queer and trans South Asians who had never seen themselves represented.

At the heart of the conversation is also the grief of growing up without the unconditional love you needed from a parent. Ayman shares the devastating moment that changed her relationship with her mother forever, and she and Salma talk about what it means to grow up, grieve the mother you needed, and eventually learn to care for the child inside you yourself.

They also talk about Islam, Hajj, family rejection and reconciliation, the hypersexualization of trans women, and why, at 36, Ayman still considers herself a virgin. For Ayman, sex isn't about marriage or purity. It's about finally loving the body she fought to make her own, feeling completely safe with another person, and knowing that sometimes, love simply isn't enough.

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CREDITS:

Host & Creator: Salma Hindy
Special Guest: Ayman Syed
Executive Producer: Salma Hindy
Videographer & Sound Engineer: Patrick Samaha
Written By: Salma Hindy
Edited By: Salma Hindy
Studio: 30 Irving Studios
Makeup: Ayman Syed
Artwork: Rana Omar
Social Media Intern: Noor Jehan Ansari
Grants & Sponsorship Intern: Christina Saoud

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