Got questions or comments? Text them to me!

This is part two of the "Strength in the Cracks" series — exploring vulnerability in leadership as a place of God's power, not human weakness.

Why do we edit the "thorn" out of our bios? In this episode, Paul digs into 2 Corinthians 12 — Paul the apostle's thorn in the flesh, his three prayers for its removal, and God's answer: "My power is made perfect in weakness." This episode makes the case that weakness isn't an obstacle grace works around — it's the location where God's power actually shows up, and unpacks what that means for where leaders locate their confidence.

What We Cover:

• Why our public bios and platforms only ever show the "strong" version of us
• A walkthrough of 2 Corinthians 12:1-10 — Paul's thorn, his three prayers, and God's response
• The difference between preaching this text as consolation versus what it actually claims as method
• Why Paul boasts in his weaknesses instead of just enduring them
• Where leaders locate their confidence — in the thorn being removed, or in grace being sufficient with the thorn still there
• An important caveat: this isn't permission to avoid getting help for something you can actually work on

Scripture Referenced:

• 2 Corinthians 12:1-10 — Paul's thorn in the flesh, and "My power is made perfect in weakness"

Quotable Moments:

• "Weakness isn't the obstacle grace has to get around. It's the location where the power shows up."
• "That's not a consolation prize. That's a method."
• "Is your confidence built on the thorn being gone? Or is it built on grace being sufficient with the thorn still there?"

This Week's Challenge:

Name your thorn — not necessarily out loud to your congregation, but honestly to God. Not "fix this so I can lead better." Just: "here it is. Be sufficient here."

Coming Up Next:

Episode 3 gets practical with the neuroscience behind exposure vs. armor — what's actually happening in a leader's nervous system when they choose honesty over performance.

About the Series:

Strength in the Cracks is a mini-series exploring how pastors and leaders can experience vulnerability not as a liability to manage, but as a place where God's power shows up most clearly — drawn from Paul's ongoing D.Min. research in Spiritual Formation and Relational Neuroscience.

Enjoyed this episode? Like and share it with another leader who needs to hear it — keep doing your best, and trust God with the rest.

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Thanks for listening to The Reluctant Leader Podcast with Paul Jenkins! Find me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and be sure to read the stuff I'm writing on my blog.

Rather watch the video? Head over to The Reluctant Leader Podcast on my YouTube channel.

Got questions or comments? Text them to me!

We've been taught that strong leaders don't get shaken — they absorb the chaos, keep the smile on, and never let the cracks show. But is that strength, or just armor? In this episode, Paul kicks off a new series drawn from his doctoral research in Spiritual Formation and Relational Neuroscience, naming the myth of the "bulletproof pastor" and making the case that exposure — not invulnerability — might be exactly where God does his best work.

What We Cover

• Why church culture quietly equates leadership maturity with emotional invulnerability
• How Jesus modeled leadership through visible grief and honest exposure (Lazarus's tomb, Gethsemane)
• The apostle Paul's claim that God's power is "made perfect" in weakness — and why that's stronger than just "tolerating" struggle
• The real cost of chasing the bulletproof-leader image — for your marriage, your staff, and your credibility
• Why "the crack in the armor isn't the leak — it's the opening"

Scripture Referenced

• Mark 14:34 — "My soul is overwhelmed to the point of death" (Jesus to Peter, James, and John)
• John 11:35 — Jesus weeps at Lazarus's tomb
• 2 Corinthians 12:9 — "My power is made perfect in weakness"

Quotable Moments

• "Armor and strength are not the same thing."
• "The bulletproof pastor is a myth, and chasing it will cost you."
• "The crack in the armor isn't the leak. It's the opening."

Coming Up Next

Episode 2 digs into 2 Corinthians 12 — the theological foundation for the whole series.

About the Series

Strength in the Cracks is a mini-series exploring how pastors and leaders can experience vulnerability not as a liability to manage, but as a place where God's power shows up most clearly — drawn from Paul's ongoing D.Min. research in Spiritual Formation and Relational Neuroscience.

⬇️ ⬇️ ⬇️ ⬇️ ⬇️

Thanks for listening to The Reluctant Leader Podcast with Paul Jenkins! Find me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and be sure to read the stuff I'm writing on my blog.

Rather watch the video? Head over to The Reluctant Leader Podcast on my YouTube channel.

Got questions or comments? Text them to me!

Are we expecting Jesus to change lives as much as the people who are desperately searching for Him?

In this episode of The Reluctant Leader Podcast, Paul reflects on the powerful story of blind Bartimaeus in Mark 10:46-52 and what it reveals about faith, desperation, and the surprising places where God is at work today.

Using the recent testimony of a former TikTok tarot reader ("Alex Reads Tarot"), who publicly gave her life to Jesus and walked away from the occult, Paul explores a challenging question:

Have those outside the church become more expectant than those inside it?

Bartimaeus couldn't see Jesus—but he believed Jesus could change everything. While the crowd tried to silence him, Jesus stopped, called him forward, and restored his sight.

What if the Church's greatest calling today isn't to quiet desperate people, but to encourage them to keep calling out to Jesus?

In this episode:

• Why Bartimaeus' story still speaks to our cultural moment
• What recent conversion stories reveal about spiritual hunger
• How disappointment can quietly erode our expectation of God's power
• Why desperate people have always been drawn to Jesus
• How followers of Jesus can become encouragers instead of gatekeepers

Key Scripture:
Mark 10:46-52
"Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, 'Son of David, have mercy on me!' Jesus stopped..."

Memorable Quote:
"Once, the church was desperate and the world was doubting. Today, it sometimes feels like the world is desperately searching while the church has quietly lowered its expectations."

Reflection Questions:
Who in your life have you quietly assumed is too far from God?
What would it look like to believe that Jesus is still stopping for people who are desperately calling His name?

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Thanks for listening to The Reluctant Leader Podcast with Paul Jenkins! Find me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and be sure to read the stuff I'm writing on my blog.

Rather watch the video? Head over to The Reluctant Leader Podcast on my YouTube channel.

Got questions or comments? Text them to me!

Dallas Willard once described Jesus with a word that feels almost impossible in today's world: relaxed.

Not careless. Not disengaged. Not indifferent.

Relaxed.

Meanwhile, many of us feel pulled in a dozen different directions at once. Responsibilities, relationships, ministry, work, finances, notifications, expectations—the pressure is real.

The Apostle Paul understood that pressure. He wrote that he faced the daily weight of concern for the churches (2 Corinthians 11:28). Yet beneath all of that responsibility was one clear focus: that Christ would be formed in God's people (Galatians 4:19).

In this episode, we explore the connection between Paul's concern for the churches, Martha's distraction in Luke 10, and the invitation to return to the love of God as our primary anchor.

Because the goal isn't to care less.

It's to stop being pulled apart by everything that competes for our attention.

When we truly believe we are loved by God, we discover the freedom to carry responsibility without being crushed by it.

In This Episode:

• Why Dallas Willard described Jesus as "relaxed"
• The hidden meaning behind Paul's "daily concern" for the churches
• How distraction literally means being pulled in different directions
• What Mary and Martha teach us about focus and formation
• Why spiritual pressure is different from spiritual purpose
• The question that may summarize the entire gospel

Memorable Quote:

"We don't overcome distraction by caring less. We overcome it by becoming anchored in the love of God."

Reflection Question:

What concern or responsibility has been pulling you in different directions lately—and what might change if you carried it from a place of being deeply loved by God rather than striving for His approval?

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Thanks for listening to The Reluctant Leader Podcast with Paul Jenkins! Find me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and be sure to read the stuff I'm writing on my blog.

Rather watch the video? Head over to The Reluctant Leader Podcast on my YouTube channel.

Got questions or comments? Text them to me!

Have you ever felt like you're constantly trying to catch up?

Behind on work. Behind on goals. Behind on expectations. Maybe even behind on life itself.

In Episode 73 of The Reluctant Leader Podcast, Paul reflects on a question that has become increasingly important in his own journey: What if God isn't rushing you?

As this episode releases, Paul is stepping away for a week with his family—a practice that doesn't come naturally for someone who loves leading, creating, building, and moving things forward. That tension becomes the backdrop for an honest conversation about hurry, attachment, spiritual formation, and the pace of Jesus.

In This Episode:

• Why our culture equates speed with success
• The difference between urgency and faithfulness
• How fear often drives our hurry more than our schedules
• What attachment theory teaches us about rest and trust
• Why Jesus consistently moved at a different pace than the people around Him
• The connection between being with Jesus and becoming like Jesus
• Why rest is not a reward for finishing everything
• How slowing down can become an act of faith

Key Scripture:

Mark 3:14 — "He appointed twelve that they might be with Him..."

Memorable Quotes:

• "Urgency and faithfulness are not the same thing."
• "Sometimes we're not running toward success. We're running away from insecurity."
• "Before there was ministry, there was relationship. Before there was mission, there was attachment. Before there was doing, there was being."
• "Rest isn't a reward for finishing everything, because you'll never finish everything."
• "The goal of spiritual formation isn't becoming more productive or more efficient. It's becoming more like Jesus."
• "Maybe the invitation of Jesus isn't to move faster. Maybe it's to walk closely enough with Him that His pace becomes your pace."

Reflection Question:

What would change this week if you truly believed that God wasn't rushing you? How would you pray differently, lead differently, parent differently, work differently... and rest differently?

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Thanks for listening to The Reluctant Leader Podcast with Paul Jenkins! Find me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and be sure to read the stuff I'm writing on my blog.

Rather watch the video? Head over to The Reluctant Leader Podcast on my YouTube channel.

Got questions or comments? Text them to me!

Why do so many of us feel guilty when we slow down?

In this episode of The Reluctant Leader Podcast, Paul explores the deeper reasons rest can feel uncomfortable — especially for leaders, helpers, pastors, and high-capacity people who have quietly tied their identity to productivity.

From ultramarathon training to the pace of Jesus, this conversation looks at how our culture rewards exhaustion while Jesus continually invited people into rest.

But real rest is harder than it sounds.

Because the moment the noise stops, we often come face to face with what distraction has been covering up.

In this episode:

• Why recovery is part of growth
• How productivity can become identity
• Why silence feels uncomfortable for many of us
• The connection between attachment and rest
• The difference between striving for God and resting with God
• Why Jesus regularly withdrew from the crowds
• How Sabbath teaches us trust

If you’ve ever struggled to slow down without feeling anxious, guilty, or unproductive, this episode is for you.

Key Scripture

• Matthew 11:28–30

Quotes from This Episode

• “Recovery is part of the training.”
• “We don’t know how to simply be with Him.”
• “When we stop producing, we often discover how much of our identity was attached to our productivity.”
• “Silence has a way of exposing what activity has been covering up.”
• “Some of us only feel valuable when we’re needed.”
• “We only know how to strive in the service of God.”
• “You are not the Messiah.”
• “The world keeps spinning even when you stop.”

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Thanks for listening to The Reluctant Leader Podcast with Paul Jenkins! Find me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and be sure to read the stuff I'm writing on my blog.

Rather watch the video? Head over to The Reluctant Leader Podcast on my YouTube channel.

Got questions or comments? Text them to me!

For this episode of The Reluctant Leader Podcast, we’re talking about something most of us wrestle with: how to measure progress in a healthy way.

In a culture obsessed with instant results, it’s easy to believe we’re failing when growth feels slow. But whether it’s physical training, spiritual formation, emotional health, or leadership development, the deepest transformation usually happens quietly over time.

Using ultra marathon training as a backdrop, Paul explores why daily measurements can be discouraging, why “invisible growth” still matters, and how God often works beneath the surface long before fruit becomes visible.

If you’ve ever felt frustrated by slow progress in your faith, leadership, healing, or personal growth, this episode is a reminder that consistency matters more than quick results — and that deep roots grow slowly.

In this episode:

• Why daily metrics can distort our perspective
• The danger of measuring our souls like social media
• What endurance training teaches us about spiritual growth
• Signs of real transformation that often go unnoticed
• How Jesus described Kingdom growth in Mark 4
• Why slow growth is still healthy growth
• The difference between becoming impressive and becoming whole

Key Quote:

Scripture Reference:

• Mark 4:26–29

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Thanks for listening to The Reluctant Leader Podcast with Paul Jenkins! Find me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and be sure to read the stuff I'm writing on my blog.

Rather watch the video? Head over to The Reluctant Leader Podcast on my YouTube channel.

Got questions or comments? Text them to me!

We live on a planet sustained by five great oceans. But what sustains the human soul?

In this episode, Paul shares how a simple morning rhythm—shaped through the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises and grounded in everyday objects—has become a pathway to deeper attachment with Christ.

A candle.
A cup of coffee.
A faithful companion named Eden.
A chair.
And above all… Christ.

These five “Cs” have become daily reminders that God’s presence still meets us in ordinary places.

If you’ve been feeling spiritually dry, emotionally tired, or mentally cluttered, this episode is a reminder that renewal often doesn’t come through dramatic breakthroughs—it comes through simple, consistent return.

In This Episode:

• Why ordinary objects can become sacred reminders
• How God’s light pushes back inner darkness
• The warmth and filling presence of God
• Jesus as the Companion who stays close
• Learning to rest your full weight in God’s care
• Why Christ is the center of every sustaining rhythm
• How to build your own daily reminders of grace

Key Scripture References:

• John 1:5
• Psalm 23:5
• Proverbs 18:24
• Matthew 11:28–30
• Colossians 1:17

Memorable Line:

Sustainable faith is rarely built in dramatic moments. It’s built in daily returning.

If this episode encouraged you, share it with someone who’s been running on empty.

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Thanks for listening to The Reluctant Leader Podcast with Paul Jenkins! Find me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and be sure to read the stuff I'm writing on my blog.

Rather watch the video? Head over to The Reluctant Leader Podcast on my YouTube channel.