What if the reason you struggle to feel loved isn't that you're incapable of love, but that you've learned to protect yourself from it? Childhood emotional neglect, depression, and past relationships can create patterns that make intimacy feel threatening, even when you're with someone who genuinely cares about you.In this conversation, I sit down with relationship and attachment expert @Dr.SarahHensley to explore anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, and how childhood experiences shape our adult relationships. We also discuss why emotional suppression can contribute to depression, why successful people can struggle with intimacy, and whether attachment styles can actually change.If you've spent your life keeping people at a distance, we discuss how to begin building emotional safety, processing difficult feelings, and developing healthier relationships without abandoning the parts of yourself that learned to survive.

If my podcast has helped, my new book, The Light Between the Leaves, goes even deeper

Next Steps:
📩 Get Practical tools for navigating life with depression and anxiety, delivered weekly.

About me:

I know what it is to feel hopelessly stuck and worthless to the world in general. I also know what it is to live without those feelings. I’m both a Clinical Psychology specializing in treatment-resistant depression and anxiety, and a human who has spent more than a decade managing sever depression and anxiety.

• Mental Health Coaching with me
• Therapy with me (for people in Iowa)
• Find me on YouTube

Resources

🪣 Get my free 5-day guide to reclaiming your time and energy despite mental health struggles.

😴 Dramatically improve your sleep in 2 steps with my new Sleep Workbook.

📖 My 1st book: For When Everything is Burning

Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.

But I do care.

Ready to be seen? Check that appointment off your to-do list with Zocdoc ✅ : https://zocdoc.com/drscotteilers#sponsoredLiving with chronic depression is nothing like feeling sad because something bad happened. It's waking up feeling like someone you love has died when nothing is wrong, being exhausted no matter how much you sleep, and feeling completely disconnected from a world everyone else seems able to participate in.In this video, I'm sharing 10 experiences that people with chronic depression understand but others often don't, including anhedonia, overwhelming physical exhaustion, emotional isolation, and the strange experience of wanting to want something without actually wanting anything.If you've struggled to explain what depression really feels like, I hope this helps you feel a little less alone. And if there's something I missed, share it in the comments so we can make this a place where people who live with depression can feel understood.
If my podcast has helped, my new book, The Light Between the Leaves, goes even deeper

Next Steps:
📩 Get Practical tools for navigating life with depression and anxiety, delivered weekly.

About me:

I know what it is to feel hopelessly stuck and worthless to the world in general. I also know what it is to live without those feelings. I’m both a Clinical Psychology specializing in treatment-resistant depression and anxiety, and a human who has spent more than a decade managing sever depression and anxiety.

• Mental Health Coaching with me
• Therapy with me (for people in Iowa)
• Find me on YouTube

Resources

🪣 Get my free 5-day guide to reclaiming your time and energy despite mental health struggles.

😴 Dramatically improve your sleep in 2 steps with my new Sleep Workbook.

📖 My 1st book: For When Everything is Burning

Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.

But I do care.

Head to https://hiya.yt.link/nBFztrz to get your kids started with Hiya today at 50% off! or You can now get your first order 50% off via this link https://hiya.yt.link/nBFztrz!Have you ever looked at the world and felt like something is fundamentally wrong with it—and wondered why everyone else seems able to just carry on? I've had that feeling for most of my life. The world has often felt simultaneously overwhelming, disappointing, cold, and broken, and for a long time I thought being unable to ignore that meant something was wrong with me.In this video, I share an idea from The Light Between the Leaves that has helped me live with that awareness: the difference between the world and your world. You have very little control over the world. But your body, your relationships, your people, and the spaces you inhabit make up a much smaller world where you actually have some influence.You don't have to fix everything that's broken. Take care of yourself. Take care of your people. Take care of your space. Sometimes making your little corner of this place better is enough.

If my podcast has helped, my new book, The Light Between the Leaves, goes even deeper

Next Steps:
📩 Get Practical tools for navigating life with depression and anxiety, delivered weekly.

About me:

I know what it is to feel hopelessly stuck and worthless to the world in general. I also know what it is to live without those feelings. I’m both a Clinical Psychology specializing in treatment-resistant depression and anxiety, and a human who has spent more than a decade managing sever depression and anxiety.

• Mental Health Coaching with me
• Therapy with me (for people in Iowa)
• Find me on YouTube

Resources

🪣 Get my free 5-day guide to reclaiming your time and energy despite mental health struggles.

😴 Dramatically improve your sleep in 2 steps with my new Sleep Workbook.

📖 My 1st book: For When Everything is Burning

Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.

But I do care.

Thank you to Dose for sponsoring this video - get 35% off your first order at https://dose.yt.link/crUjIU3 with my code DR35!Are you so afraid of dying that it's keeping you from actually living? Death anxiety, also known as thanatophobia, can make everyday life feel terrifying. Whether you're afraid of dying unexpectedly, losing someone you love, or simply struggling with the uncertainty of what happens after death, those fears can become so overwhelming that they start controlling your life.In this video, I share my own childhood experience with death anxiety, explain why the fear of death can become so consuming, and explore the different ways it manifests. I'll also walk through practical strategies for managing death anxiety, including finding meaning, accepting uncertainty, exposure therapy, mindfulness, and learning to redirect your attention.You can't eliminate the possibility of death. But you can learn to live without letting that possibility take away the life you have.

If my podcast has helped, my new book, The Light Between the Leaves, goes even deeper

Next Steps:
📩 Get Practical tools for navigating life with depression and anxiety, delivered weekly.

About me:

I know what it is to feel hopelessly stuck and worthless to the world in general. I also know what it is to live without those feelings. I’m both a Clinical Psychology specializing in treatment-resistant depression and anxiety, and a human who has spent more than a decade managing sever depression and anxiety.

• Mental Health Coaching with me
• Therapy with me (for people in Iowa)
• Find me on YouTube

Resources

🪣 Get my free 5-day guide to reclaiming your time and energy despite mental health struggles.

😴 Dramatically improve your sleep in 2 steps with my new Sleep Workbook.

📖 My 1st book: For When Everything is Burning

Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.

But I do care.

Build your Stress Fitness with Pulsetto FIT X. Go to https://pulsetto.tech/pages/drscott or use my code DRSCOTT for an exclusive limited time offer. 30-day money-back guarantee.#PulsettoPartnerHealth anxiety can trap you in a brutal feedback loop: you notice something strange in your body, become anxious about it, the anxiety creates more physical symptoms, and those symptoms convince you something is seriously wrong. The fear is understandable—having a body actually is unpredictable—but that doesn't mean the fear has to control your life.In this video, I explain illness anxiety disorder and somatic symptom disorder, why reassurance and negative tests often don't make health anxiety disappear, and how anxiety itself can create many of the physical sensations you're afraid of. Then we'll look at practical strategies including CBT, accepting uncertainty, mindfulness, exposure, reducing body checking, and changing how you respond to anxious thoughts.The goal isn't becoming 100% certain that you're healthy. Nobody gets that certainty. It's learning how to live your life without needing it.

If my podcast has helped, my new book, The Light Between the Leaves, goes even deeper

Next Steps:
📩 Get Practical tools for navigating life with depression and anxiety, delivered weekly.

About me:

I know what it is to feel hopelessly stuck and worthless to the world in general. I also know what it is to live without those feelings. I’m both a Clinical Psychology specializing in treatment-resistant depression and anxiety, and a human who has spent more than a decade managing sever depression and anxiety.

• Mental Health Coaching with me
• Therapy with me (for people in Iowa)
• Find me on YouTube

Resources

🪣 Get my free 5-day guide to reclaiming your time and energy despite mental health struggles.

😴 Dramatically improve your sleep in 2 steps with my new Sleep Workbook.

📖 My 1st book: For When Everything is Burning

Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.

But I do care.

Thank you to Quince for sponsoring this video! Upgrade your wardrobe, home, and more with high-end essentials from Quince! Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers https://quince.yt.link/ZQmOMMH and get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. #QuincePartnerEveryday Liquid Multivitamin: https://quince.yt.link/iGqHqib100% Organic Cotton Oxford Shirt: https://quince.yt.link/pWRD68kHave you ever looked at the world and felt like something is fundamentally wrong with it—and wondered why everyone else seems able to just carry on? I've had that feeling for most of my life. The world has often felt simultaneously overwhelming, disappointing, cold, and broken, and for a long time I thought being unable to ignore that meant something was wrong with me.In this video, I share an idea from The Light Between the Leaves that has helped me live with that awareness: the difference between the world and your world. You have very little control over the world. But your body, your relationships, your people, and the spaces you inhabit make up a much smaller world where you actually have some influence.You don't have to fix everything that's broken. Take care of yourself. Take care of your people. Take care of your space. Sometimes making your little corner of this place better is enough.

If my podcast has helped, my new book, The Light Between the Leaves, goes even deeper

Next Steps:
📩 Get Practical tools for navigating life with depression and anxiety, delivered weekly.

About me:

I know what it is to feel hopelessly stuck and worthless to the world in general. I also know what it is to live without those feelings. I’m both a Clinical Psychology specializing in treatment-resistant depression and anxiety, and a human who has spent more than a decade managing sever depression and anxiety.

• Mental Health Coaching with me
• Therapy with me (for people in Iowa)
• Find me on YouTube

Resources

🪣 Get my free 5-day guide to reclaiming your time and energy despite mental health struggles.

😴 Dramatically improve your sleep in 2 steps with my new Sleep Workbook.

📖 My 1st book: For When Everything is Burning

Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.

But I do care.

See if you could pay as little as $0 for therapy using my link: https://growtherapy.yt.link/kYStfSz!What happens when you don’t want to die anymore—but you still don’t really want to live? After one of the worst periods of my life, I got myself out of crisis by slowing everything down. But that left me with a different problem: I had no idea what I actually cared about or what would make life feel worth participating in.In this video, I share three places I eventually found things that mattered to me: in the interests I abandoned before depression, in experiences I had dismissed while severely struggling, and through other people who introduced me to things I never would have discovered alone.If the crisis has passed but you've been left feeling empty, directionless, or unsure what you're supposed to live for now, you aren't necessarily starting from nothing. Some of what you're looking for may already be scattered throughout your life.

If my podcast has helped, my new book, The Light Between the Leaves, goes even deeper

Next Steps:
📩 Get Practical tools for navigating life with depression and anxiety, delivered weekly.

About me:

I know what it is to feel hopelessly stuck and worthless to the world in general. I also know what it is to live without those feelings. I’m both a Clinical Psychology specializing in treatment-resistant depression and anxiety, and a human who has spent more than a decade managing sever depression and anxiety.

• Mental Health Coaching with me
• Therapy with me (for people in Iowa)
• Find me on YouTube

Resources

🪣 Get my free 5-day guide to reclaiming your time and energy despite mental health struggles.

😴 Dramatically improve your sleep in 2 steps with my new Sleep Workbook.

📖 My 1st book: For When Everything is Burning

Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.

But I do care.

Taking care of your health just got easier, thanks to my sponsor Zocdoc, start here at: https://zocdoc.com/drscotteilersYour brain probably doesn’t work the way you think it does—and misunderstanding it can make your mental health worse. We try to force ourselves to stop thinking, choose happiness, numb painful emotions, or simply wait until we feel better. Unfortunately, brains are far more counterintuitive than that.In this video, I break down four harsh truths about how your brain actually works: your perception of reality is shaped by old beliefs, you can’t directly command your brain, mental health requires ongoing maintenance, and you can’t selectively numb painful emotions without also dulling the good ones.Understanding your brain won’t suddenly make it cooperate. But it can help you stop accidentally working against it.

If my podcast has helped, my new book, The Light Between the Leaves, goes even deeper

Next Steps:
📩 Get Practical tools for navigating life with depression and anxiety, delivered weekly.

About me:

I know what it is to feel hopelessly stuck and worthless to the world in general. I also know what it is to live without those feelings. I’m both a Clinical Psychology specializing in treatment-resistant depression and anxiety, and a human who has spent more than a decade managing sever depression and anxiety.

• Mental Health Coaching with me
• Therapy with me (for people in Iowa)
• Find me on YouTube

Resources

🪣 Get my free 5-day guide to reclaiming your time and energy despite mental health struggles.

😴 Dramatically improve your sleep in 2 steps with my new Sleep Workbook.

📖 My 1st book: For When Everything is Burning

Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.

But I do care.