GET THE INTIMACY in 5 MINUTE GUIDE!

If you’ve ever found yourself lying next to your partner at night feeling more like co-parents than lovers, wondering why you feel disconnected despite still loving each other then this episode is for you.

In this week's episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, we’re diving deep into the invisible force that could be draining your emotional closeness without either of you realizing it: emotional labor in parenting.

Maybe you're not arguing. Maybe your schedules are full. Maybe the kids are thriving. And yet, something feels off. You catch yourself thinking, “Is it the sex? Is it that we don’t talk like we used to?” But when you try to fix it with a date night or a long talk, it doesn’t always hit the spot.

Why?

Because intimacy isn’t just about sex or deep conversations. It’s about feeling seen, held, and recognized, especially in the chaos of family life. And emotional labor in relationships, especially for parents, is often what’s causing the slow drift that no one talks about.

We’ll explore why emotional labor in relationships becomes heavier after children arrive and why couples start to experience emotional distance in marriage, even when the love hasn’t gone anywhere. You’ll learn how everyday tasks (from packing school lunches to remembering grandparents' birthdays) create an emotional load that’s rarely acknowledged, and how that load impacts closeness, connection, and desire.

This episode also unpacks the sneaky feeling of being “fine but not great.” That quiet ache of feeling like roommates in marriage is one of the most common things I hear from couples, and it’s often the beginning of a slippery slope toward disconnection - not because the relationship is broken, but because your version of intimacy needs to evolve.

If you’ve been asking yourself how to reconnect after kids, or if you’re searching for what intimacy after parenthood really looks like (hint: it’s not always candlelit dinners), you’re in the right place.

I’ll also guide you through three tiny yet transformative rituals you can start this week; no scheduling, therapy, or “fixing” required. These are invitations to start noticing each other again, to shift from performance to presence, and to slowly rebuild emotional intimacy in long-term relationships that have been weathered by parenting.

Whether you're a few months into parenting or many years in, this is a powerful listen that brings empathy, relief, and direction. It’s not about blame. It’s about awareness. Because once you understand how emotional labor in parenting shows up in your home and heart, you’ll start to see your relationship through a more compassionate lens.

If you’re wondering how to reconnect with your partner, especially when life is too busy for grand romantic gestures, you’ll walk away feeling less alone, more understood, and equipped with practical tools that fit into your real life.

So if you’re ready to go from surviving to reconnecting, press play. You’ll hear real talk, tangible practices, and a perspective that honors your role as a parent and a partner.

Because you can still have love, warmth, and connection, even in the messy middle.

GET THE INTIMACY in 5 MINUTE GUIDE!

💌 Don’t forget: This week’s newsletter includes an exclusive tool to help you track small emotional wins get it at markellakaplani.com/newsletter.

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Full Transcript HERE.

— Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter 👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge

📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com) 📢 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com

Have you ever felt like you're the one holding your relationship and family together — not just with tasks, but with emotional glue? Like you're the radar, the planner, the peacekeeper… and no one really notices?

In this episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, we name it: emotional labor. But not the oversimplified version you see in viral posts. We go deeper into the invisible roles we inherit, the silent deals we never consented to, and the part of you that believes: “If I don’t hold it together, we’ll fall apart.”

You’ll explore the subconscious scripts that dictate your behavior, not to blame anyone, but to bring clarity, choice, and intimacy back to the forefront of your relationship. Because when we rewrite those scripts, we free ourselves and our partners from patterns that no longer serve.

Today we explore:

• What emotional labor actually is; beyond the to-do list
• How your childhood shaped the emotional role you play in relationships
• The silent “contracts” you never agreed to but still uphold
• How naming the pattern is the first step toward emotional intimacy

💌 Don’t forget: This episode includes a journaling prompt and a free worksheet to help you unpack and gently rewrite the emotional roles you’ve taken on. Get it at markellakaplani.com/newsletter.

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Full Transcript HERE.

— Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter 👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge

📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com) 📢 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com

So many parents I work with tell me the same thing: “I thought I’d be different.” We want to be gentle, connected, patient. But when the pressure builds… we feel hijacked by old patterns. This week, I sat down with trauma-informed parent coach Jaspreet Chopra Lewis to talk about why that happens — and what to do about it.

We talked about inherited patterns like emotional invalidation, the exhausting pendulum between too much control and too much guilt, and how nervous system work can help you shift in real-time, not just in hindsight.

💌 Don’t forget: This week’s newsletter includes an exclusive tool to help you track small emotional wins get it at markellakaplani.com/newsletter.

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Who is Jaspreet Chopra Lewis?

Jaspreet is a Trauma Informed Parent Coach and a Polyvagal Informed music interventionist. She strongly believes that focusing on behavior modification will never help you develop a deeply connected relationship with your child. Real change happens when parents do the work, heal from their own childhood, and see their child's experience from a fresh perspective and not from a lens that is colored by conventional thoughts, their own childhood experiences and their current stresses. And that's how children can be led into better behavior, better choices and emotional regulation. Her frameworks for healing and parenting draw hugely from the works of Dr. Gabor Mate, Dr. Stephen Porges and Dr. Daniel Seigel. Jaspreet has over 24 years of experience in journalism, operations & management, training and coaching. Apart from supporting parents in their parenting journey, she is also actively working to create safe spaces for women and children through awareness programs. Jaspreet's Resource: www.themindfulfamily.in/trigger-to-triumph — Full Transcript HERE. — Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter 👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge

📩 Get in touch with me Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com 📢 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com

What if healing isn’t something you have to do before parenting but something you do within it?

In this episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, we explore what healing really looks like when you’re not at a retreat, but in a home full of snack crumbs, emotional meltdowns, and endless to-do lists.

This isn’t about becoming a brand new person. It’s about becoming a softer, braver, more present version of yourself, right in the middle of the mess.

We talk about how parenting can awaken the parts of us that were never truly seen, how to show up for ourselves while showing up for our kids, and why the smallest unseen moments, the breath, the pause, the whispered “I’m sorry,” are what changes everything.

Today we explore:

- Why healing during parenthood is harder — but more meaningful

- 4 gentle shifts to start healing even when you’re exhausted

- Why perfection isn’t the goal, presence is

- How to rewire your inner voice with compassion

💌 Don’t forget: This week’s newsletter includes an exclusive tool to help you track small emotional wins get it at markellakaplani.com/newsletter.

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Full Transcript HERE.

— Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter 👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge

📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com) 📢 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com

Have you ever caught yourself reacting to your child in a way that feels all too familiar, perhaps echoing your own parents' responses? These moments often reveal the invisible family patterns we've unconsciously inherited.

In Episode 57 of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, we explore how these unseen scripts shape our parenting styles and emotional responses. We'll discuss how to identify these patterns, understand their origins, and take the first steps toward conscious change.

Today we explore:

• What invisible family patterns are and how they form
• Recognizing when these patterns influence your parenting
• Strategies to begin altering these inherited behaviors
• The importance of self-compassion in the journey of change

Join me as we delve into the transformative process of becoming more aware of our inherited parenting styles and learn how to foster a more intentional and connected relationship with our children.

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Full Transcript HERE.

— Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter 👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge

📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com) 📢 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com

Have you ever surprised yourself with how intensely you reacted to your child?

That flood of anger or shame? The moment where a small behavior felt so deeply personal?

This episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast dives into the tender truth that parenting often reawakens childhood wounds—and that’s not a flaw, it’s an invitation.

When our children act out, they're often unknowingly tapping into something buried within us: a memory, a hurt, a part of ourselves still waiting to be seen.

In this first episode of our May series, Healing the Past to Parent Better, we explore the concept of emotional triggers in parenting and why reactions like yelling, shutting down, or intense guilt often stem from the past, not the present.

You’ll learn how to spot disproportionate emotional responses when shame might actually be a sign of something deeper, and how to gently begin reparenting yourself while raising your child.

If you're ready to break generational cycles, build self-awareness, and respond from wholeness instead of wounding—this conversation is for you.

Today we explore:

🔍 Why your child’s behavior triggers disproportionate reactions

💬 How to know if you’re reacting from an old wound

🧠 A powerful question to interrupt patterns

❤️ Why this isn’t just parenting—it’s healing

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Full Transcript HERE.

— Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter 👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge

📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com) 📢 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com