The punishment phase following the presidential election has now started. Donkey Ladies everywhere, especially those with pre-existing conditions, have announced the end of sex as we know it. Men are now officially cut off as punishment for helping Orange Man win the White House. And to rub it in, some corn-fed girls are even cutting off their own hair, hoping that their diminished appearance might help deteriorate their relationships to help them become more irritating. Hell it might work. Donkey Ladies are hoping that men will somehow notice all this is happening and finally be remorseful. But since men are slow to catch on, there’s no word yet on how the protest is going. Remember all this is happening just because Kamala didn’t win - even with the endorsement of DJ Toilet Brush, men still wouldn’t vote for her! Donkey ladies don’t understand why and hope that this added misery will be enough to teach men a lesson. But that never goes well since men don’t really pay much attention. Maybe you’ve noticed. But here’s the thing: You’re still going to get that Chinchilla coat for Christmas whether you think you want it or not. That’s because what men really want is just for you to be happy. So cut off your hair and vote for Giggles if you like, but at the end of the day when the lights are low, let’s not talk about voting. Just do that thing you do with your one good eye and just let it all go. Now hold on ladies, just calm down, there’s enough Otis to go around. I’ll see you at the peace march. Hear Podcast ~ Wash hands

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SIT TO P
If you don’t sit to pee, you can’t play basketball with the girls! Now you would think that’s obvious, but there are still some who are just finding this out. I’d go with what came in your shorts. That’s your pre-existing condition right there! And it won’t go away just because you decide to lace up a sports bra and get after it! You’re not Mister Potato Head! You don’t get to switch out your extra parts that you keep in a little trapdoor there in your behind. Swapping out spare parts is just for potatoes, not people! People parts already line up pretty well - Tab “A” into Slot “B” and all that! Why mess with what’s working? But if you still get confused and don’t remember, it’s OK to check – or just ask a policeman. When your spirit animal is an oyster, you do crazy things! That’s when marketing gets called in to hang some hoop earrings on the whole thing, and get everybody dressed for court. Oh, the larceny! Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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SOCIALIZED DEMOCRATS
To help explain how Socialized Democrats are busy saving our democracy, we brought in OPPO the Research Loving Clown to look at what’s in the new Donkey-Party platform. Aww, what’s the matter Oppo? Why so sad? Well, it looks like the Socialized Democrats secret plan the whole time is this: Give you the razor for free but then keeps selling you the blades - forever! Let’s the dough rise twice, so, you never get through paying? It’s like being at war with yourself. Anybody ever talk to Roy Rogers about all this? No? Remember, when news stinks you’ll smell it first right here on the Otis Advisory. And if you’re asking, my pronouns are 38 caliber, 45 caliber and 50 caliber, that one’s plural! I’ll see you at the peace March. Hear podcast ~ wash hands!

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