SOCIALIZED DEMOCRATS
To help explain how Socialized Democrats are busy saving our democracy, we brought in OPPO the Research Loving Clown to look at what’s in the new Donkey-Party platform. Aww, what’s the matter Oppo? Why so sad? Well, it looks like the Socialized Democrats secret plan the whole time is this: Give you the razor for free but then keeps selling you the blades - forever! Let’s the dough rise twice, so, you never get through paying? It’s like being at war with yourself. Anybody ever talk to Roy Rogers about all this? No? Remember, when news stinks you’ll smell it first right here on the Otis Advisory. And if you’re asking, my pronouns are 38 caliber, 45 caliber and 50 caliber, that one’s plural! I’ll see you at the peace March. Hear podcast ~ wash hands!

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Say hello to Zohran the Conqueror – the latest fanboy of the lunatic fringe. As Mayor of New York, the Zohan only has a Beatnik-level view of what makes the world work, but he’s still planning to run this con on YOU and the rest of the coalition of the unhappy come next election day. Zohan the Conqueror, as his mamma calls him, brings along all the usual gin-soaked stuff, like free beer and rubber money for anyone who’s lost their appetite for work. But this Mamdami is more than that. He’s the shiny new locomotive pulling the Hate America First Train just as it loads up to leave bankruptcy station. Can you dig it? “Chicks dig me because I burn tires,” said the Zohan. And although he has never actually seen the inside of a Dress Barn, he’s sure he knows just what women are looking for. Because in a Mamdami state-run grocery store, cotton candy is produce! It's a miracle. Think of Zohan as artificial sweetener! The more you read about what’s in it, the less of it you want. A vote for Mr. All Hat, No Cattle is like buying the jeans with the holes already in them. You know it is stupid, but you do it anyway. Come on now somebody pump the breaks on this mess before New York boils over for good. And order your special Uncle Otis secret decoder ring to make sure you get all the hidden messages in this stupid bit. And the rest of them too - I’ll see you at the peace march. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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Remember when everybody was too woke to sleep? It’s OK - that was just Woke 1.0 - a crazy time in Donkey politics and the national coalition of the unhappy. Woke kids were everywhere, but the commie caucus was still confused over what to think and what to say! Like, which car air freshener to go with? The pine tree or the skunk? I’d pick the one that doesn’t smell like a burning hospital! How about you? Woke 1.0 was also the time Donkey people started selling their bath water on the internet. But that one washed out pretty fast once the nausea stopped! During Woke 1.0 we even lost the ability to tie our shoes or hand write our own name. And that’s not all. Woke 1.0 was the time everybody started worrying about men, who were naturally stinky of course, just like always, and way too invested in meat, beer and ball. Look, even the runt of the litter should get to go to the misogynist parlor. But none of that works for the correct people. That's when Wife Supremacy took over and masculinity took it in the shorts! That was Woke 1.0 - and it’s not over yet! That’s the way we Otis - I’ll see you at the peace march. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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