Some monsters don’t show up overnight. Some grow with you. In this episode, I talk about the sadness I carried from childhood, the moments I thought something was wrong with me, and how I learned that my pain had a name

Mania is often misunderstood—even by the people living through it. In this episode, I'm sharing what mania actually felt like from the inside: the confidence, the sleepless nights, the impulsive decisions, and the consequences that followed. This isn't a clinical explanation. It's the truth from someone who's lived it.

Why did I create The Monsters Club?

In this first episode, I'm sharing the story that started it all. From the events that led to my first psychiatric hospitalization to receiving my bipolar disorder diagnosis, I open up about one of the most life-changing chapters of my life.

This isn't just the story behind the podcast—it's the story behind me. My hope is that by sharing it honestly, anyone who's ever felt scared, misunderstood, or alone in their mental health journey will know they're not the only one.

Welcome to The Monsters Club. I'm so glad you're here.

Welcome to The Monsters Club—a podcast about living with bipolar disorder, embracing every version of yourself, and finding community in the places we often feel most alone.

I'm Xen, and each week we'll have honest conversations about mania, depression, medication, relationships, identity, recovery, and everything in between. This isn't about having all the answers. It's about making space for the messy, complicated, and beautiful reality of living with bipolar disorder.

If you've ever felt misunderstood, overwhelmed, or like you're carrying monsters no one else can see, this club is for you.

Welcome to The Monsters Club. I'm so glad you're here.