Me Too happened years ago. How the hell are we still here?

The allegations involving Jane Doe and seven Cornell fraternity members are horrific. But the conversation underneath the headline—about entitlement, loyalty, consent, and whose future we protect—is one we need to have.

Inspired by Alex Cooper’s Call Her Daddy conversation with philosopher Kate Manne, I unpack how patriarchy hurts women and men, why “he’s a good guy” doesn’t answer questions about his behavior, and what real protection looks like when speaking up could cost you your friends’ approval.

I share my own medical experience with ketamine, revisit Caroline’s belief that her little boy friend would stop someone from being mean, and explore how we can raise children who respect boundaries and care enough to intervene.

As a mother, I want my daughter to grow up knowing her dignity never depends on being a “perfect victim.” This conversation offers practical language for challenging victim blaming—and turning outrage into everyday action.

Content note: Discussion of sexual assault, drug-related incapacitation, and explicit language. The Cornell case involves allegations; the legal process matters.

I haven’t been on a first date in about a year—and after this recap, you’ll understand why. From dating photos pulled from the archives to men waiting for me to follow up, I’m sharing the experiences that wore me out—and the $60 Hinge experiment that was supposed to get my mojo back.

I’m getting into:

• Being open-minded versus talking myself out of what I want.
• Wanting effort without having to teach someone how to make it.
• Being happy for my partnered friends while wondering, “When is my turn?”
• Missing physical intimacy—and feeling “revirginalized.”
• Why “it happens when you stop looking” is driving me absolutely insane.

I also open with my reaction to the disturbing allegations in the Cornell Seven case.

This is an honest, occasionally furious conversation about having a full life and still wanting someone to share it with. I’m not going to settle. I’m just tired—and I suspect I’m not alone.

Send this episode to a single friend who gets it, and tell me: how are you staying open to love without letting the search wear you out?

Content note: Strong language, sexual discussion, and a brief opening discussion of sexual violence.

Shana Swain has a way of turning a stranger into a friend—and a Wednesday dinner into a story you’ll still be thinking about days later.

I met Shana nearly six years ago while she was bartending at Zen. Now we work together in real estate, and I wanted to know how she built the kind of Charleston community where seemingly everyone knows her. Her answer starts with paying attention to people.

We talk about the regulars who became family, the connections that helped her change careers, and what it’s really like to build a life for two daughters as a single mom. We also get into money, hard seasons, the joy of finally eating all the avocados before they go bad, and a swimming opportunity that brought Shana face to face with four generations of her family’s history.

Shana tells a story like nobody else. I loved getting to follow wherever this conversation went.