We Need To Talk About Jane Doe
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Me Too happened years ago. How the hell are we still here?
The allegations involving Jane Doe and seven Cornell fraternity members are horrific. But the conversation underneath the headline—about entitlement, loyalty, consent, and whose future we protect—is one we need to have.
Inspired by Alex Cooper’s Call Her Daddy conversation with philosopher Kate Manne, I unpack how patriarchy hurts women and men, why “he’s a good guy” doesn’t answer questions about his behavior, and what real protection looks like when speaking up could cost you your friends’ approval.
I share my own medical experience with ketamine, revisit Caroline’s belief that her little boy friend would stop someone from being mean, and explore how we can raise children who respect boundaries and care enough to intervene.
As a mother, I want my daughter to grow up knowing her dignity never depends on being a “perfect victim.” This conversation offers practical language for challenging victim blaming—and turning outrage into everyday action.
Content note: Discussion of sexual assault, drug-related incapacitation, and explicit language. The Cornell case involves allegations; the legal process matters.