We’re out here putting respect on the names of crackheads who’ve survived more boss battles than your favorite anime character. We’re just here to give them their crown.

Hood spots with bulletproof glass and five-star flavor. If it’s greasy, sketchy, and made by someone’s auntie with a Bluetooth in her ear, we’re reviewing it.

Music? Yeah, we talk about that too. Not that “let’s unpack the lyrics” podcast crap. We’re here for songs that make you ugly dance, wall slide, or text your ex at 2 AM. If it got a dumb hook, bad autotune, and a fire beat, we’re bumping it.

And then there’s the real talk. Does having Black friends give you the pass, or are you just playing with your life? Would we make good pimps?

This episode goes from digital realism to divine intervention. First, the mind-blowing, borderline terrifying graphics of Grand Theft Auto 6. Then we take a detour into the early 2000s with a racing game so ridiculous in its portrayal of women, we’re 90% sure it was either a fever dream or funded entirely by Axe body spray.

Finally, we shift gears completely and discuss the Vatican’s latest plot twist: the new pope is from Chicago. Yes, that Chicago. Deep-dish, Bulls-loving, Cubs-cursed Chicago. Is this the most American the papacy has ever been? Probably. Tune in for high-speed nonsense, holy surprises, and at least one moment where we question reality entirely.

This week, the internet — and possibly the planet — is on fire. We kick things off with a woman absolutely losing it during a police encounter. Is it a cry for help, a performance piece, or just Monday energy? Next, we somehow manage to go from public meltdowns to the Palestine conflict. Then there’s Kanye West, who dropped a new song and apparently thought, “What if I made the worst PR move in human history?” Spoiler: it involves praising Hitler. We’re as confused as you are.

Meanwhile, South America’s music scene is popping off with rhythms so spicy they might sue reggaeton for emotional damage. And finally, we address the most pressing philosophical debate of our time: Can 100 men take down 1 gorilla? No weapons. No mercy. Just vibes and testosterone.

Victorino - @victorino.313

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Strap in (or don’t) as we speed through the cultural relic known as Need for Speed, a franchise that taught generations that street racing is only illegal if you lose. We’ll then take a sharp turn into Diddy’s catalog, because apparently, music moguls now come with pardons for their music. Yes, we mean you Kanye.

Finally, we slam into the future where Jeff Bezos, unsatisfied with just owning the world, has decided to back a shiny new electric truck company — because nothing says “saving the planet” like billionaires playing with bigger toys.

What do a spine injury, a 90s racing game, and stories about childhood teachers have in common? This episode, apparently.

We’re unpacking the realities of getting older—like how your body starts filing complaints—and what it means to reach 30 with a bit of gratitude, a lot of reflection, and maybe some lower back pain. Along the way, there’s a nostalgic pit stop at Need for Speed 2 on Windows 95 and some memorable moments with early teachers who left a mark.

We also dive into the deeper stuff: the importance of not being afraid to ask for help, especially for men; the evolving conversation around sex roles, boundaries in opposite-sex relationships, and the standards placed on both men and women. It’s about learning, unlearning, and figuring out how to hold space—for yourself and others.

With the stock market falling off a cliff, egg prices still high, and country relations souring, the Aliens keep the studio away from the BS, and keep the show rolling, this time with a very special guest! As the youngest person on the podcast to step in front of the mic and camera, 18 year old hip-hop artist Junior The Demigod stops by to tell his story in music, all while juggling high school and producing his own beats. The young man discusses his journey and how collabs with the Cypher Society elevated his game and recognition early on, as well as where his path is taking him in 2025.

Plus, did an adult film star share one of Junior's rap verses, how classmates react to the music Junior puts out, does Mario have a very early undiagnosed case of Parkinson's, and more!

Junior The Demigod - @junior.the.demigod

Check out The Legal Aliens on all social platforms at linktr.ee/thelegalaliens.

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Picked up from the same dealership Bryan makes his cash at, all while experiencing some banging new Taco bell food, new to the studio comes fellow car mechanic Connor! With a wealth of experience in tinkering with vehicles and all things combustion since he was a teenager, Connor comes by the studio to talk about his time with working on Alfa Romeo's, his racing and go kart experiences, and why Bryan is just so dang good at being a mechanic (at least a little bit).

Plus, the new Twitch follows come with some questionable names, why Connor has so many mopeds chilling at his home with his friends, a new project for Bryan and his newly-acquired vehicle that has many different possibilities, why Gridlife is an event Mario and other car lovers should attend, and more!

Check out The Legal Aliens on all social platforms at linktr.ee/thelegalaliens.

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March Madness is truly underway in college basketball, and that madness infiltrates the Aliens and the studio, but it also includes returning guest Doce Quetzal! Doce comes by to discuss his 2025 plans for battle rapping and showcasing his heritage at events around the country, and why spending hundreds of dollars on Funko Pops were totally a good investment.

Plus, the intricate aspect of dating single moms, the boys throw it back to the pandemic days and the difficulty of obtaining new gaming consoles, a Bryan back injury, giving props to a Michigan baseball player for his crafty celebration, and more!

Doce Quetzal - @doce_quetzal

Check out The Legal Aliens on all social platforms at linktr.ee/thelegalaliens.

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