What does it take to move through imposter syndrome, trust yourself as an EMDR therapist, and build a private practice that reflects your strengths?

In this episode, we sit down with Carly Costello, EMDR consultant, private practice owner, and the therapist behind EMDR with Carly. Carly shares how she went from using Instagram to attract local therapy clients to building an EMDR consultation business and receiving EMDRIA’s 2025 Social Media Influencer Award.

We have an honest conversation about taking risks, showing your face on social media, finding your clinical niche, and building confidence as a newer therapist. Carly also explains why many clinicians experience a difficult “hump” after EMDR basic training and how quality consultation and mentorship can help them move through self-doubt and begin trusting the EMDR process.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Overcoming imposter syndrome as a new therapist
• Building confidence after EMDR training
• Finding your niche as a mental health therapist
• Starting and growing a therapy private practice
• Using Instagram to connect with clients and consultees
• Becoming an EMDR-certified therapist and consultant
• Taking calculated risks in business
• Recognizing your strengths and outsourcing your weaknesses
• Managing big ideas, ADHD, and the less-exciting “micro tasks”
• Letting go of the belief that you must specialize in everything

If you’re a new therapist, EMDR clinician, consultant-in-training, or private practice owner who feels overwhelmed, behind, or unsure of your next step, this conversation will remind you that you don’t need to have everything figured out before you begin.

Sometimes building confidence looks like doing it scared, posting it, and moving forward anyway.

We created The Gritty Therapist to help other mental health therapists like us gain clinical confidence, crush imposter syndrome and connect within. If that's you, share the show, subscribe and give us a review!

Now go get your Gritty on!

Connect with us! Check out our freebies and our Gritty Academy for Provisional Therapists:

• Therapist AF: The Gritty Academy, practical skills, nervous system grounding, and the reps grad school skipped
• The Gritty Therapist Check out our EMDR Therapy for Children Certificate
• The Cord Where Science Meets Connection attachment/trauma-focused therapy.

Follow along on Instagram @grittytherapist and go get your gritty on.

When a child lies, it’s easy for parents and even therapists to focus entirely on stopping the behavior. But lying is rarely just about the lie.

In Part 2 of our Behavioral Math series, (Check out Part 1 HERE) we explore how child and family therapists can look beneath lying, dishonesty, and other challenging behaviors to understand the thoughts, feelings, body sensations, attachment needs, and relationship dynamics driving them.

We discuss why sticker charts, reward systems, and consequences may create short-term compliance without addressing the root of the behavior. We also share practical, attachment-based strategies for helping caregivers build trust, respond with greater regulation, and use less shame-based language with their children.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to use “behavioral math” to uncover what’s underneath a child’s behavior
• Why children and teenagers lie from a developmental perspective
• How changing “lying” to “inaccuracy” can reduce shame and then reduce lying over time
• Why caregiver involvement is essential when addressing dishonesty
• How attachment disruptions and trauma effect a child’s ability to trust
• A real-life homework intervention that helped reduce conflict and increase responsibility
• How EMDR-informed and relationship-based approaches create deeper, lasting change

If you work with children, adolescents, parents, foster families, or adoptive families, this episode will help you move beyond managing the behavior of the week and begin addressing the relationship and the unmet need underneath it.

Because behavior isn’t just behavior. And building trust requires more than earning another sticker on a chart.

Stay Gritty!

Connect with us! Check out our freebies and our Gritty Academy for Provisional Therapists:

• Therapist AF: The Gritty Academy, practical skills, nervous system grounding, and the reps grad school skipped
• The Gritty Therapist Check out our EMDR Therapy for Children Certificate
• The Cord Where Science Meets Connection attachment/trauma-focused therapy.

Follow along on Instagram @grittytherapist and go get your gritty on.

In this episode of Gettin' Gritty for Mental Health Therapists Podcast, we sit down with therapist and entrepreneur Jen Zorb, founder of The Pearl Project, to explore grief support, meaningful human connection, therapist entrepreneurship, and the courage required to bring a deeply personal vision into the world.

After years of working as a mental health therapist in private practice and a hospital emergency room, Jen found herself wishing she could offer people something tangible to carry home during seasons of grief, loss, transition, and emotional upheaval. That desire became The Pearl Project: a collection of thoughtfully designed mental health and bereavement gifts that combine therapeutic guidebooks, reflection questions, comforting sensory items, and meaningful objects to support healing beyond the therapy room.

Jen shares the vulnerable decision she and her husband made to leave the security of their established careers and build The Pearl Project together. She opens up about overcoming the fear of rejection, learning how to market a mental health business, navigating entrepreneurship as a therapist and mother, and redefining work-life balance through the idea of “seasonal balance.”

You’ll also hear the powerful story of how Jen challenged herself to collect ten rejections and how a conversation she expected to end in a “no” became her first business partnership and an unforgettable moment of grief, connection, and shared humanity.

In this episode, we discuss:

• How therapists can provide meaningful support for grief and loss
• Why grief affects the whole body and deserves more than superficial encouragement
• The value of tangible, sensory resources in mental health and bereavement care
• How handwriting, reflection, metaphor, and physical objects can support therapeutic learning
• Therapist entrepreneurship and transitioning beyond private practice
• Overcoming the fear of failure, visibility, vulnerability, and rejection
• Building authentic professional connections without feeling like a salesperson
• Work-life balance, motherhood, marriage, and running a business
• The difference between daily balance and seasonal balance
• Why human-to-human connection remains essential in an increasingly digital world
• How grit, courage, and perseverance help therapists bring meaningful ideas to life

Whether you're a mental health therapist, grief counselor, trauma therapist, social worker, private practice owner, or clinician considering a new professional path, this conversation offers an honest look at what it means to create, connect, and keep going before you feel completely ready.

Learn more about Jen Zorb and The Pearl Project at thepearlproject.com and follow @jointhepearlproject on Instagram.

Because sometimes grit looks like opening up, allowing your work to be seen, and remembering that rejection isn’t the only possible outcome. Sometimes, on the other side of vulnerability, we find connection.

Connect with us! Check out our freebies and our Gritty Academy for Provisional Therapists:

• Therapist AF: The Gritty Academy, practical skills, nervous system grounding, and the reps grad school skipped
• The Gritty Therapist Check out our EMDR Therapy for Children Certificate
• The Cord Where Science Meets Connection attachment/trauma-focused therapy.

Follow along on Instagram @grittytherapist and go get your gritty on.

Why do children lie...even when telling the truth would be easier and safer?

In this “use tomorrow” episode, we introduce Behavioral Math, a practical, attachment-informed intervention that helps therapists and families understand what is happening underneath a child’s behavior:

Thoughts + feelings + body sensations = behavior

Using lying as a clinical example, we demonstrate how to walk children and parents through the thoughts, emotions, and nervous-system sensations that can lead to an automatic behavior. In this episode we also explore how lying may have once served as protection or a survival response, especially for children with histories of trauma, foster care, adoption, or disrupted attachment.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to introduce Behavioral Math during a family therapy session
• Why therapists need to look beneath a child’s behavior
• How to help parents develop compassion without excusing harmful behavior
• Why lying can become an automatic protective response
• How punishment and constant monitoring can reinforce fear-based family cycles
• Why “setup questions” often invite another lie
• How to move families from “You have to earn my trust” toward mutual dependability
• Ways to include parents in treatment and strengthen the parent-child relationship

This cognitive behavioral, attachment-based intervention gives therapists (both EMDR therapists and those trained in other modalities) a simple visual tool they can begin using tomorrow with children, teens, and their parents.

Because when we focus only on changing the behavior, we miss the thoughts, feelings, sensations, past experiences, and relationships driving it.

Connect with us! Check out our freebies and our Gritty Academy for Provisional Therapists:

• Therapist AF: The Gritty Academy, practical skills, nervous system grounding, and the reps grad school skipped
• The Gritty Therapist Check out our EMDR Therapy for Children Certificate
• The Cord Where Science Meets Connection attachment/trauma-focused therapy.

Follow along on Instagram @grittytherapist and go get your gritty on.

Hey there! It's Stefanie with The Gritty Therapist. Before we begin this episode here's what I want you to know: this isn’t an episode telling you to stop drinking. It’s an invitation to get curious about the behaviors you reach for when your internal answer to your Primal Question feels like a “no” or a “maybe.”

In this honest solo episode, I share how understanding my Primal Question—“Am I loved?” or “Am I wanted?”—helped me recognize my dependence on alcohol and ultimately helped me quit drinking altogether.

Alcohol had become more than a way to unwind after stressful days as a mental health therapist. It offered me a quick sense of connection, belonging, and relief from loneliness.

I explore how therapists can absorb the emotional weight of their work and unknowingly turn to alcohol, doomscrolling, overworking, exercise, or other coping behaviors to escape discomfort. Some of these patterns may even look healthy from the outside while quietly getting in the way.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• How understanding your Primal Question can influence coping behaviors
• Why high-stress therapy work can leave clinicians vulnerable to numbing
• The relationship between loneliness, connection, and alcohol
• How I used curiosity and compassion to challenge my “kid logic”
• Why self-awareness matters for therapists inside and outside the therapy room
• A practical reflection to help you identify what you may be using to find safety

Ask yourself: Is there something I’m doing to escape that helps answer my Primal Question with a yes and is it still serving me?

Real talk for real-life therapists. Growth starts with getting gritty.

If this episode connected with you, follow the show, leave a review, and share it with another therapist who needs to hear it.

Connect with us! Check out our freebies and our Gritty Academy for Provisional Therapists:

• Therapist AF: The Gritty Academy, practical skills, nervous system grounding, and the reps grad school skipped
• The Gritty Therapist Check out our EMDR Therapy for Children Certificate
• The Cord Where Science Meets Connection attachment/trauma-focused therapy.

Follow along on Instagram @grittytherapist and go get your gritty on.

But first...let's stay connected with all things Gritty. Jump on our newsletter list here. Don't worry, we won't overwhelm your inbox with junk. Just one Gritty email a week to keep you in the loop.

Now, on to the show!

Part two of our conversation with Seara O’Brien, LIMHP (she was PLMHP at the time of this recording but since then is fully licensed!) about building clinical confidence, moving through imposter syndrome, and getting more comfortable with discomfort.

Seara shares how running has taught her to keep showing up, even when she doesn’t feel ready and how that same grit supports her work as a mental health therapist. Together, we explore the self-doubt many newer and provisional therapists experience: wondering whether you’re competent enough, fearing you’ll forget everything you know, overpreparing for sessions, and feeling responsible for doing enough for every client.

We also discuss why worksheets and perfect plans can sometimes get in the way of authentic therapeutic connection and what becomes possible when therapists allow themselves to be human in the room.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

• Why confidence is built through action, not certainty
• Managing therapist imposter syndrome and anticipatory anxiety
• Letting go of perfectionism and the pressure to perform
• Recognizing when session preparation becomes overpreparation
• Becoming more comfortable with clinical uncertainty
• Using self-compassion to move through difficult thoughts and emotions
• Building authentic connection without needing to have everything figured out
• Showing up as a grounded, human therapist

You may never feel completely ready and that doesn’t mean you aren’t capable. Clinical confidence grows through consistency, self-reflection, and the willingness to keep showing up in the messy middle.

Grab your sparkling water, my favorite, or Cathy's fave, a Diet Coke, or your own favorite fun drink and let's get Gritty together.

Go follow Seara! @seara.obrien

Connect with us! Check out our freebies and our Gritty Academy for Provisional Therapists:

• Therapist AF: The Gritty Academy, practical skills, nervous system grounding, and the reps grad school skipped
• The Gritty Therapist Check out our EMDR Therapy for Children Certificate
• The Cord Where Science Meets Connection attachment/trauma-focused therapy.

Follow along on Instagram @grittytherapist and go get your gritty on.

But first...let's stay connected with all things Gritty. Jump on our newsletter list here. Don't worry, we won't overwhelm your inbox with junk. Just one Gritty email a week to keep you in the loop.

Now, on to the show!

Confidence isn't something you wait for, it's something you build.

In this episode of Gettin' Gritty for Mental Health Therapists, we sit down with provisional therapist Seara O'Brien to explore the real, messy, and rewarding journey of becoming a confident trauma therapist.

From growing up as a first-generation college student to navigating graduate school, internship, advocacy, and EMDR training, Seara shares the moments that challenged her identity and ultimately strengthened her clinical confidence.

Together, we discuss the concept of the wounded healer, why self-awareness is one of a therapist's greatest clinical tools, and how making mistakes, trying new interventions, and reflecting with humility builds lasting confidence.

If you're a graduate student, intern, provisional therapist, associate therapist, early-career mental health clinician, or you supervise provisional mental health therapists this conversation is the reminder you need:

Confidence isn't a feeling. It's an action.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why so many therapists identify as wounded healers
• How self-reflection strengthens your clinical effectiveness
• What imposter syndrome really looks like during your provisional years
• Why advocacy, mistakes, and difficult conversations shape you as a clinician
• How EMDR training can feel overwhelming, and why that's completely normal
• The importance of bringing parents into the therapy room, even when it feels uncomfortable
• Why confidence comes from taking action, not waiting until you feel ready
• How grit is developed one courageous clinical decision at a time

Whether you're learning EMDR, working with trauma, building your clinical identity, or wondering if you're "good enough" to be a therapist, this episode offers practical encouragement grounded in real clinical experience.

At The Gritty Mental Health Therapist, we believe the therapists who thrive aren't the ones who pretend to know everything. Thriving therapists are the ones willing to stay curious, embrace discomfort, reflect honestly, and keep showing up for themselves and their clients.

Because confidence isn't something you find. It's something you practice. One gritty step at a time.

Connect with us! Check out our freebies and our Gritty Academy for Provisional Therapists:

• Therapist AF: The Gritty Academy, practical skills, nervous system grounding, and the reps grad school skipped
• The Gritty Therapist Check out our EMDR Therapy for Children Certificate
• The Cord Where Science Meets Connection attachment/trauma-focused therapy.

Follow along on Instagram @grittytherapist and go get your gritty on.

What happens when the therapist becomes the one who needs help?

In this deeply personal episode of Gettin' Gritty for Mental Health Therapists Podcast, Cathy shares the story she's never told publicly: the journey that led to severe therapist burnout, debilitating anxiety, psychiatric hospitalization, and ultimately healing.

Through the lens of Mike Foster's Primal Question®, Cathy unpacks how her core question, "Am I secure?", quietly influenced the way she approached money, business ownership, private practice, leadership, and responsibility. What looked like dedication from the outside was, in reality, years of living in what she now knows is the "the scramble" until her nervous system could no longer sustain it.

If you're a mental health therapist, private practice owner, supervisor, or helping professional who feels like you're constantly white-knuckling your way through work, this conversation is for you.

In this episode, Cathy discusses:

• What therapist burnout actually felt like from the inside.
• How chronic stress quietly builds until the nervous system says, "No more."
• The connection between attachment wounds, the Primal Question®, and professional identity.
• Running a private practice while carrying the emotional weight of clients and a business.
• The signs that burnout has become something much more serious.
• Why asking for help is not weakness, even for therapists.
• How therapy, self-awareness, and intentional life changes helped Cathy rebuild.
• Practical lessons every therapist can use to protect their own nervous system before burnout takes over.

One of the biggest misconceptions in our profession is that burnout simply means you need to take a vacation or practice more self-care. Cathy's story reminds us that burnout often runs much deeper. Sometimes it asks us to examine the beliefs, fears, and attachment patterns driving the life we've built.

If you've ever questioned whether you're carrying too much, wondered if you're "the only therapist struggling," or felt like you're surviving instead of thriving, you're not alone.

This episode is an invitation to stop white-knuckling your career and start building a sustainable one.

If this conversation resonates with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another therapist who needs the reminder that even the helpers deserve help.

Now go get your Gritty on!

Connect with us! Check out our freebies and our Gritty Academy for Provisional Therapists:

• Therapist AF: The Gritty Academy, practical skills, nervous system grounding, and the reps grad school skipped
• The Gritty Therapist Check out our EMDR Therapy for Children Certificate
• The Cord Where Science Meets Connection attachment/trauma-focused therapy.

Follow along on Instagram @grittytherapist and go get your gritty on.