Why do children lie...even when telling the truth would be easier and safer?

In this “use tomorrow” episode, we introduce Behavioral Math, a practical, attachment-informed intervention that helps therapists and families understand what is happening underneath a child’s behavior:

Thoughts + feelings + body sensations = behavior

Using lying as a clinical example, we demonstrate how to walk children and parents through the thoughts, emotions, and nervous-system sensations that can lead to an automatic behavior. In this episode we also explore how lying may have once served as protection or a survival response, especially for children with histories of trauma, foster care, adoption, or disrupted attachment.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to introduce Behavioral Math during a family therapy session
• Why therapists need to look beneath a child’s behavior
• How to help parents develop compassion without excusing harmful behavior
• Why lying can become an automatic protective response
• How punishment and constant monitoring can reinforce fear-based family cycles
• Why “setup questions” often invite another lie
• How to move families from “You have to earn my trust” toward mutual dependability
• Ways to include parents in treatment and strengthen the parent-child relationship

This cognitive behavioral, attachment-based intervention gives therapists (both EMDR therapists and those trained in other modalities) a simple visual tool they can begin using tomorrow with children, teens, and their parents.

Because when we focus only on changing the behavior, we miss the thoughts, feelings, sensations, past experiences, and relationships driving it.

Connect with us! Check out our freebies and our Gritty Academy for Provisional Therapists:

• Therapist AF: The Gritty Academy, practical skills, nervous system grounding, and the reps grad school skipped
• The Gritty Therapist Check out our EMDR Therapy for Children Certificate
• The Cord Where Science Meets Connection attachment/trauma-focused therapy.

Follow along on Instagram @grittytherapist and go get your gritty on.