When a child lies, it’s easy for parents and even therapists to focus entirely on stopping the behavior. But lying is rarely just about the lie.

In Part 2 of our Behavioral Math series, (Check out Part 1 HERE) we explore how child and family therapists can look beneath lying, dishonesty, and other challenging behaviors to understand the thoughts, feelings, body sensations, attachment needs, and relationship dynamics driving them.

We discuss why sticker charts, reward systems, and consequences may create short-term compliance without addressing the root of the behavior. We also share practical, attachment-based strategies for helping caregivers build trust, respond with greater regulation, and use less shame-based language with their children.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to use “behavioral math” to uncover what’s underneath a child’s behavior
• Why children and teenagers lie from a developmental perspective
• How changing “lying” to “inaccuracy” can reduce shame and then reduce lying over time
• Why caregiver involvement is essential when addressing dishonesty
• How attachment disruptions and trauma effect a child’s ability to trust
• A real-life homework intervention that helped reduce conflict and increase responsibility
• How EMDR-informed and relationship-based approaches create deeper, lasting change

If you work with children, adolescents, parents, foster families, or adoptive families, this episode will help you move beyond managing the behavior of the week and begin addressing the relationship and the unmet need underneath it.

Because behavior isn’t just behavior. And building trust requires more than earning another sticker on a chart.

Stay Gritty!

Connect with us! Check out our freebies and our Gritty Academy for Provisional Therapists:

• Therapist AF: The Gritty Academy, practical skills, nervous system grounding, and the reps grad school skipped
• The Gritty Therapist Check out our EMDR Therapy for Children Certificate
• The Cord Where Science Meets Connection attachment/trauma-focused therapy.

Follow along on Instagram @grittytherapist and go get your gritty on.