『The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with Mismatched Sex Drives』のカバーアート

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with Mismatched Sex Drives

The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with Mismatched Sex Drives

著者： Laura Jurgens Ph.D.
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Mismatched libidos destroying your relationship? Dr. Laura Jurgens helps couples solve desire differences with proven methods—even when therapy fails. This intimacy coach and former professor helps couples navigate different sexual needs with research-based solutions that actually work.


This isn't about forcing different sex drives to align. It's about understanding why you want different amounts of sex, learning to talk about it without fighting, and creating intimacy that works for both partners. Even if you're feeling rejected, lonely, guilty, broken, or ashamed for having needs—you're not. You're just missing the tools to bridge your desire discrepancy.


Every episode delivers practical strategies you can use immediately: how to boost desire, communicate without defensiveness, understand different arousal types, and reconnect with your body so intimacy feels natural again. Whether traditional relationship counseling hasn't helped or you're avoiding couples therapy altogether, these approaches work for the intimacy issues that most therapists aren't trained to handle.


Ready to stop the pursue-withdraw pattern that's creating distance and resentment? Get the science-backed roadmap to authentic connection that honors both partners' needs.


No ads. Just proven advice that works.


Disclosure: expect explicit content and swearing!

© 2025 The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with Mismatched Sex Drives 個人的成功 心理学 心理学・心の健康 自己啓発 衛生・健康的な生活
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  • ADHD & Desire Gaps, Part 1: High libido, low libido, or sometimes both

    ADHD & Desire Gaps, Part 1: High libido, low libido, or sometimes both
    2025/11/03

    If you have ADHD and your sex life feels challenging, you're not broken - your brain just works differently. Maybe you have super high libido and use sex or masturbation to feel at home in your body. Or maybe your libido is low because sex hasn't been working for your body or you're stuck in your head and you don't know why or how to fix it. Or maybe you're both, depending on the day.

    In this episode, we unpack why ADHD creates these extremes - from sex as self-medication to getting stuck in your head during sex to not knowing what your body actually needs. We also cover Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (why "not tonight" feels catastrophic) and emotional dysregulation (the intensity that confuses your partner).

    Whether you're the ADHD partner or the non-ADHD partner trying to understand, this episode will help you make sense of what's been happening. No shame, just clarity. First in a 4-part series on ADHD and desire gaps.

    Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences
    (Without Blame or Shame),     A Practical Starting Point for Individuals and Couples, at https://laurajurgens.com/libido

    Find out more about me at https://laurajurgens.com/
    続きを読む 一部表示
    33 分
  • Getting on the Same Team, Part 2: How to talk about sex without fighting

    Getting on the Same Team, Part 2: How to talk about sex without fighting
    2025/10/27

    You know you need to talk about your desire gap, but every time you try, it devolves into a fight. Someone gets defensive or spirals into shame, and you're right back where you started – or worse.

    In this episode, you get the exact framework for having the conversation that actually works to get you started on the road to solving your issues together. You'll learn how to check if you're calm enough for vulnerability, how to express your feelings without blame, how to hear your partner's pain without making it about your own inadequacy, and the step-by-step process for getting on the same team.

    This isn't theory – it's a practical, tested approach with real examples showing what conversations look like when you're adversarial versus when you're allied. You'll know exactly what to say, how to prepare, when to pause, and how to tell if it's working. Plus, clear signs for when you need outside help and what kind of support actually makes a difference.

    Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences
    (Without Blame or Shame),     A Practical Starting Point for Individuals and Couples, at https://laurajurgens.com/libido

    Find out more about me at https://laurajurgens.com/
    続きを読む 一部表示
    42 分
  • Getting on the Same Team, Part 1: Stop venting to friends and start solving the problem together

    Getting on the Same Team, Part 1: Stop venting to friends and start solving the problem together
    2025/10/20

    You're both in pain about your desire gap, but you're processing it separately – venting to friends, talking to therapists, building separate narratives about what's wrong. Meanwhile, the gap between you keeps widening. Sound familiar?

    Most couples approach mismatched libidos like adversaries: one person wants more sex, one wants less, and now you're fighting about whose needs matter more. But when one of you loses, you both lose.

    In this episode, you'll learn why the adversarial approach never works, how to get underneath surface feelings like "frustrated" or "fine" to the real pain you're both experiencing, and why suppressing your feelings or only venting to others actually makes your desire gap worse. This is the foundation for everything that follows – getting vulnerable enough to stop fighting each other and start solving the problem together.

    Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences
    (Without Blame or Shame),     A Practical Starting Point for Individuals and Couples, at https://laurajurgens.com/libido

    Find out more about me at https://laurajurgens.com/
    続きを読む 一部表示
    30 分
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