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Loneliness is hitting men hard — but you’re not stuck with it. In this episode, therapist Tim Wienecke (LPC, LAC) talks with Atlanta-based counselor Phillip Quinones, M.S., LPC about living alone without feeling isolated, using anger as a boundary signal, and building the kind of community that actually supports you.

Show notes & links: www.americanmasculinity.com

Guest site: https://pqcoachingandconsulting.com/

Key takeaways:
• Loneliness is a real health risk — and there are specific, doable ways to counter it
• Anger is information: a boundary cue that can also mask fear/shame
• Talking ≠ processing — add skills so conversations lead to change
• Money stress can mimic/trigger depression — get practical support
• Progress beats perfection for sustainable motivation
• Status symbols won’t fill you; presence and people will

Chapters:
0:00 Intro & Phillip’s background
3:00 Loneliness in modern America
5:00 Men’s friendships, self-esteem, and boundaries
7:00 How men and women often connect differently
11:00 Boundaries + anger: “the bouncer”
15:00 Why schools rarely teach emotional skills or finance
22:00 Talking vs processing (and how to practice)
31:00 Money stress, depression, and adjustment responses
37:00 Progress > success: motivation that lasts
44:00 Culture, status symbols, and real fulfillment
50:00 Accountability & building a ramp to change
59:00 Closing empowerment: “Nobody was you…”

References cited:
Surgeon General (2023) loneliness advisory: https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf

Pew (2023) friendship patterns: https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/10/12/what-does-friendship-look-like-in-america/

Ryan & Deci — Self-Determination Theory: https://selfdeterminationtheory.org/SDT/documents/2000_RyanDeci_SDT.pdf

Dittmar et al. (2014) materialism & well-being: https://selfdeterminationtheory.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/2014_DittmarBondHurstKasser_PPID.pdf

CTA: If this resonated, follow the show and share it with a friend living solo.
Disclaimer: Educational content, not therapy. If you’re in crisis, seek local professional help.

The American Masculinity Podcast™ is hosted by Timothy Wienecke — licensed psychotherapist, Air Force veteran, and men’s advocate.
Real conversations about masculinity, mental health, growth, and how men can show up better — as partners, leaders, and friends.
We focus on grounded tools, not yelling or clichés. If you have questions or want a tool for something you're wrestling with, leave a comment or send a message — your feedback shapes what we build next.
Note: While this doesn’t replace therapy, it might help you notice something worth exploring.

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I almost skipped this week’s Thought of the Week because I’ve been stuck in a perfectionist loop on another video—4 hours rerecording a 90-second intro. As a licensed therapist who helps men break free from perfectionism, you’d think I’d have this figured out. I don’t. And that’s the point.

In this 3:44 episode, I share how I use the 80/20 rule: getting to ~80% takes reasonable effort; pushing from 80% to “perfect” eats time, energy, and momentum. The hard part is accepting what 80% actually looks like when your work is tied to credibility, reputation, and (for many of us) our identity as competent men.

Key ideas:
• Perfectionism as a status/credibility fear—why “being exposed” keeps us looping takes
• The 80/20 framework applied to creative and professional work
• A simple constraint: “3 takes max” to force decisions and ship the work
• “Done and useful” beats “perfect and late”

Try this:

1. Define your 80% before you start (one sentence).
2. Set a cap (e.g., 3 takes, 30 minutes, 2 edits).
3. Ship it—and write one note you’ll improve next time.

Your turn: When you’re stuck in the perfectionism loop, what breaks you out of it? Drop a comment so other guys can steal what works.

—
🎙️ American Masculinity Podcast
Honest conversations about men’s mental health, relationships, and what healthy masculinity actually looks like.
Host: Tim Wienecke — Licensed Psychotherapist, Veteran, Men’s Mental Health Advocate

Disclaimer: This podcast is for education, not therapy. If you’re struggling, please seek personalized support from a qualified professional.

#mensmentalhealth #perfectionism #masculinity #therapist #mentalhealth #thoughtoftheweek

The American Masculinity Podcast™ is hosted by Timothy Wienecke — licensed psychotherapist, Air Force veteran, and men’s advocate.
Real conversations about masculinity, mental health, growth, and how men can show up better — as partners, leaders, and friends.
We focus on grounded tools, not yelling or clichés. If you have questions or want a tool for something you're wrestling with, leave a comment or send a message — your feedback shapes what we build next.
Note: While this doesn’t replace therapy, it might help you notice something worth exploring.

Send us a text

What really happens when fathers step into family court? And how do men cope with the chaos of divorce, custody battles, and financial strain?

In this episode of the American Masculinity Podcast, host Tim Wienecke sits down with Furkhan Dandia, a Canadian Certified Counsellor, therapist, and divorced father, to unpack the realities men face in court. With a background that spans two decades in engineering and business before moving into therapy, Furkhan brings both personal experience and professional insight into how the system impacts dads.

Together they explore why custody often feels stacked against fathers, how stigma and brief hearings shape outcomes, and what practical steps men can take when everything feels out of their control. From therapy and men’s groups to radical acceptance and community rebuilding, this episode offers clarity and tools—not easy answers, but real strategies that matter.

If you’re a father navigating family court, or a clinician supporting men through it, this conversation delivers validation, hard truths, and hope for rebuilding life on the other side.

The American Masculinity Podcast™ is hosted by Timothy Wienecke — licensed psychotherapist, Air Force veteran, and men’s advocate.
Real conversations about masculinity, mental health, growth, and how men can show up better — as partners, leaders, and friends.
We focus on grounded tools, not yelling or clichés. If you have questions or want a tool for something you're wrestling with, leave a comment or send a message — your feedback shapes what we build next.
Note: While this doesn’t replace therapy, it might help you notice something worth exploring.