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Interview by Damian Andrews of SHAIR.care: What it means to be a man (6)

Have I said this already - "Childhood has a lot to answer"?
Maybe just a few times hey! But are you getting it? Don't start at step 5 or 6 with a Recovery Programme or 12 Steps Support. They are absolutely needed, but not yet.

Go back to first base. Step 1. Childhood developmental years.

Can't find anything there? You had a lovely upbringing. I don't doubt it. I really don't. But you see, that marvellous complex, yet simple brain - seeking to protect us and do the best for us - will avoid repeat impactful stuff happening.

One way is to defend us by blocking stuff out of remembrance; problem is, a part of the brain remembers and carries the stuff, but you cannot access it; and why would you want to, when - in childhood - it caused the child you so much pain; but pain you can't access and have no conscious memory about. (but your unconscious does have memory about it!)

"That sounds like Freudian psycho-babble stuff Gary". I know. I agree.
"I'm not into that stuff".

Neither was I. Kicking and screaming with my finger nails dug deep into the carpet, leaving claw marks as I was dragged into Therapy. Yet, those clever busy-body Therapists were right!

And then some time later you begin to learn and gain insight into some things. Just a random few learnings (because they come up in todays audio recording) - include things like:
- Someone needed to have set boundaries for us.
- We all needed a lighthouse ("Good enough" Parents). Otherwise, we are left floundering on the high seas.
- The brain will fill in the gaps and the voids.
- There are scripts and batons that we will be handing on as parents (to our children). Know them, see them, assess them and decide if change beckons for you.

Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp
The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs)

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Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |