• Tape 12 All is Fair in Bootstuck

  • 2025/05/08
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Tape 12 All is Fair in Bootstuck

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    Just when I think I might be closing in on something concrete, Bootstuck takes a sharp turn back into the absurd. Tape 12 introduces us to Terrence, a man who apparently lives in a place called Nearby, which—naturally—is not nearby at all. It’s 70 kilometers away or, as Dave puts it, “seven songs,” depending on his mood and fuel level.

    The rest of the tape is a dizzying preview of the upcoming Bootstuck Fair, a community gathering where you can get a license plate painted on your face or elbow (your choice), choke down force-fed funnel cake, and visit a “petting zoo” made up of whatever living creatures could be coaxed into a field that morning.

    Hat Guy returns with more qualifications—this time ranked on Bootstuck’s patented “Interesting Abilities Scale.” Apparently flatulence earns high marks. Of course it does.

    I now have vague locations, unverifiable names, and not a single Googleable reference. And with hundreds of tapes still ahead, it’s becoming clear that this project won’t end in clarity—but I’m far too deep to stop now.

    So I’m settling in.

    Probably should’ve done that ten tapes ago.

    www.bootstuck.com

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Just when I think I might be closing in on something concrete, Bootstuck takes a sharp turn back into the absurd. Tape 12 introduces us to Terrence, a man who apparently lives in a place called Nearby, which—naturally—is not nearby at all. It’s 70 kilometers away or, as Dave puts it, “seven songs,” depending on his mood and fuel level.

The rest of the tape is a dizzying preview of the upcoming Bootstuck Fair, a community gathering where you can get a license plate painted on your face or elbow (your choice), choke down force-fed funnel cake, and visit a “petting zoo” made up of whatever living creatures could be coaxed into a field that morning.

Hat Guy returns with more qualifications—this time ranked on Bootstuck’s patented “Interesting Abilities Scale.” Apparently flatulence earns high marks. Of course it does.

I now have vague locations, unverifiable names, and not a single Googleable reference. And with hundreds of tapes still ahead, it’s becoming clear that this project won’t end in clarity—but I’m far too deep to stop now.

So I’m settling in.

Probably should’ve done that ten tapes ago.

www.bootstuck.com

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