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Your self-concept is the story you tell yourself about who you are. It shapes everything: the decisions you make, the risks you take (or avoid), and the way you show up in the world. But most of us never consciously choose it. Instead, we inherit it from cultural messages, past experiences, and unconscious beliefs we’ve never questioned.

In this episode, we explore the hidden beliefs that quietly steer your career, relationships, and happiness as well as the behaviors and emotions of imposter syndrome, people-pleasing, or perfectionism.

Because changing your self-concept is not about waiting for confidence to arrive; it's about deciding to become the person you want to be, and then stepping into your power.

Learn more about Empowered Surgeons Group here.

Learn more about Pearson Ravitz here.

Learn more about Empowered Surgeons Group here.

Learn more about Hippocratic Collective here.

What happens when the surgeon becomes the patient? When the body you relied on to do your life’s work… stops cooperating?

Today’s guest, Dr. Stephanie Pearson, walks us through her powerful, often painful journey, from aspiring pediatrician to ObGyn surgeon to founder of PearsonRavitz, a physician disability insurance firm born from lived experience.

This episode is a raw, inspiring conversation about loss, identity, reinvention, and the deep cracks in our medical system that no one talks about until it’s too late.

We cover:

🔹 Wanting to be just like her childhood pediatrician, and realizing in med school she couldn't make kids cry

🔹 The inappropriate OR moment that changed her surgical trajectory (and the perfect clapback that still lives rent-free)

🔹 Falling in love with ObGyn by accident and matching into her dream program

🔹 The career-ending injury: torn labrum, frozen shoulder, being called a “pussy” by an orthopedic surgeon, and ultimately losing her surgical identity

🔹 The spiral that followed, and how a puppy and her husband saved her life

🔹 What happens when physicians become the meanest part of your grief

🔹 Losing everything that brought joy: martial arts, rock climbing, her career

🔹 Trying to rebuild through med mal, biotech, editing, until nothing lit her up

🔹 The disability insurance nightmare (rejected workman’s comp, denied group policy), and why she sued the state of Pennsylvania

🔹 Getting licensed in insurance and crying in her car when she passed... because she didn’t get an A

🔹 Why musculoskeletal injuries are just the tip of the iceberg for physician disability

🔹 The “emotional ergonomics” of surgery and why we need an ergonomic time-out

🔹 What it means to “protect the asset”

🔹 People-pleasing, perfectionism, and the impossible standard for woman surgeons

🔹 How understanding both medicine and insurance is her value add

🔹 Building a mission-driven business (Pearson Ravitz just turned 8!)

🔹 Why she won’t be satisfied until every resident is covered

🔹 The quiet truth: Physicians are human. Health issues happen. And identity can evolve.

Medicine often forgets the people who live just beyond the call room: the spouses, the partners, the ones holding it together while the system pulls physicians apart. In this conversation, we meet Hannah and Chris, a couple who turned conflict into clarity.

As the husband of a physician, Chris found himself isolated and invisible during Hannah’s residency. What followed were hard conversations, conscious choices, and a shared commitment to rewrite the rules. Together, they challenge the unspoken norms of medicine, from toxic gratitude and performative suffering to the misplaced belief that having a family somehow weakens you as a physician.

They also introduce their project, The Other Side Med, aimed at supporting the often-ignored partners of those in medicine and building a new vision of success that includes relationships, rest, and real human connection.

In This Episode, We Discuss:

• The origin story of The Other Side Med and why male spouses of doctors need their own space
• Chris’s emotional turning point, and the conversation that changed everything
• The unspoken rules in medicine that quietly punish anyone who colors outside the lines
• The cultural gaslighting of residents: ‘if you can’t deal with it, change your choices’
• How Hannah protected herself during pregnancy without asking permission
• Why 70% of what happens in medicine would get you fired anywhere else
• You don’t need to leave your personal life at the door, and why integration makes doctors better
• The difference between transactional and relational medicine
• Their personal non-negotiables and how you can start defining your own
• Learning to say “no” with intention, knowing it will get easier every time

Key Takeaways:

• “You're not alone.” Whether you’re getting married, raising kids, or prioritizing your health, there’s no one right way to do medicine.
• Define your non-negotiables. What do you need (relationally, physically, emotionally, spiritually) to feel whole? Those are your anchors.
• You don’t need permission. From scheduling OB visits while pregnant to creating boundaries, advocacy doesn’t require approval.
• Toxic appreciation is real. Gratitude shouldn’t be used to normalize exhaustion or mistreatment.
• Say no, and mean it. If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no. Protecting your time and energy isn’t selfish; it’s essential.

Follow Other Side Med on instagram here.

Learn more about the Hippocratic Collective here.

Learn more about Empowered Surgeons Group here.

If you enjoyed this topic, you're going to want to join Empowered Surgeons. There’s a dedicated classroom to this topic in the “Surgeon Self-Concept” module. Learn more about Empowered Surgeons Group here.

Watch Charles Duhigg's TEDx talk here.

Get his book, Supercommunicators: how to unlock the secret languange of connection here.

To recap

Supercommunicators:

1. Listen closely to what’s said and unsaid
2. Ask the right questions
3. Recognize and match others’ moods
4. Make their feelings easy to read

The four types of conversations are:

1. Social
2. Emotional
3. Experiential
4. Practical

Social conversations answer the question, "Who are we?" The goal=acknowledgement.

Emotional conversations answer the question, "How do we feel?" The goal=empathy.

Experiential conversations answer the question, "What was that like?" The goal=understanding.

Practical conversations answer the question, "What's the solution?" The goal=decision making.

The more we match and synchronize with the person we’re communicating with, the more effective the communication becomes. Doctors often try to jump straight into practical conversations with patients, believing it saves time. In reality, first matching the patient’s style of communication and then gently guiding them into a practical discussion is a far more efficient—and effective—approach.

*****************SENSITIVE CONTENT WARNING******************

This episode contains discussion of suicidal thoughts. Please listen carefully or, if this topic is especially triggering for you, skip this one entirely.

In this episode, Dr. Femi Oyewole shares his deeply personal journey of navigating medical training while living with undiagnosed ADHD. He opens up about how the pressures of residency, coupled with ADHD-related challenges, led to anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts, and how a leave of absence, support from loved ones, professional help, and self-discovery transformed his life.

We explore:

✨ How ADHD can masquerade as anxiety and depression, especially during times of high stress

✨ The spiral of negative self-talk: “I can’t manage my life → I’m not worthy → I’m worthless”

✨ Doing well at work while your personal life quietly unravels

✨ The power of a diagnosis: learning he wasn’t broken, and strategies for managing ADHD

✨ Why medication and coping strategies are both essential but not always enough

✨ The critical role of supportive programs and communities when taking a mental health break

✨ Signs of ADHD often missed in high-achieving adults, especially women

✨ How ADHD traits, like rejection sensitive dysphoria and executive dysfunction, impact everyday life and training

✨ Dealing with stigma as a neurodivergent physician

✨ How lived experience with mental health challenges can make you a better doctor

✨ Meditation, gratitude, and re-directing your brain as tools for healing

✨ Advice for physicians who suspect they may have ADHD

Femi's story is a powerful call to action to prioritize your mental health, lean on your support system, and embrace your authentic self.

Follow Dr. Femi Oyewole on instagram here.

Learn more about Empowered Surgeons Group here.

Learn more about Empowered Surgeons Group here.

Get Boyd Varty's book, The Lion Tracker's Guide to Life, access his courses, or retreat with him here.

What if losing your way isn’t a detour, but the only way forward?

In surgery—and in life—we’re taught to crave certainty. A clear path. A guaranteed outcome. But what if that very craving is what keeps us stuck?

In this episode of Surgeons with Purpose, Dr. Mel Thacker invites you into a conversation about uncertainty, purpose, and the courage to follow your inner tracker. Mel explores how self-trust can become a portal to transformation, especially for those of us navigating burnout, career crossroads, or the deep sense that something in our lives isn’t quite aligned.

You’ll hear reflections like:

✨ “Too much uncertainty is chaos, but too little is death.” - Boyd Varty

🐾 “As paradoxical as it sounds, going down a path and not finding a track is part of finding the track.” - Boyd Varty

💡 “If you can see your whole life’s path laid out, then it’s not your life's path.” -Joseph Campbell

We’ll unpack how following your bliss may lead you into spaces where others don’t understand or respect you, and why that might be the most vital, alive place you can stand.

This episode is for you if:

✅ You’re a surgeon (or any high-achiever) standing at a career crossroads.

✅ You feel restless or disconnected from your original purpose.

✅ You’re tired of “playing it safe” and longing for a life that’s fully your own.

Because on the trail, as in life, there’s not one right way. The only mistake is refusing to choose at all.

Learn more about Empowered Surgeons group here.

Plastic surgery isn’t just about appearance—it’s about reinvention. For Dr. Blair Peters, that theme runs through every part of his story.

After coming out before medical school and finding his place within the queer and trans community, Dr. Peters saw firsthand the inequities in gender-affirming care. Patients traveling across continents for surgery, often with no idea who their surgeon was or how they’d get post-op care—it felt wrong. That’s when his mission became clear.

Today, gender-affirming surgeries like phalloplasty, vulvoplasty, vaginoplasty make up the majority of his practice. But that’s not where the innovation stops. His expertise in peripheral nerve surgery is now transforming care for cisgender patients too—addressing chronic pelvic pain, loss of orgasm, and other conditions that have long lived in the "black box" of genital health.

We discuss:

• The massive, all-consuming nature of gender-affirming surgery as a field
• The unique multi-disciplinary approach required
• His work creating a national fellowship registry for plastics training in gender-affirming care

Dr. Peters also opens up about the resistance he faced in becoming a pioneer:

• The stereotype that trans patients would be too high maintenance
• The internal debate about making an entire career out of being queer
• The real fear of becoming a public target in a national political firestorm

We cover the grim reality many gender-affirming surgeons now face:

• Death threats, doxxing, and needing police escorts
• Being secretly recorded at conferences, with videos landing on right-wing media
• The political machinery driving today’s anti-trans healthcare movement—how it started with trans athletes, moved to youth care, and now threatens adult care nationwide

Dr. Peters explains how state-level policies, executive orders, and forthcoming legislation have created chaos at institutions like his—leaving surgeons to navigate legal, ethical, and personal safety decisions on the fly, often unpaid and unprotected.

Yet through all of it, he continues to operate—literally and figuratively—at full capacity:

• Fielding political crisis calls from 6 am to 10 pm
• Taking urgent meetings between cases
• Consulting with institutional leadership and legal teams
• Wondering daily: Are we still safe to provide care?

We also dive into the joy and creativity that sustain him:

• Designing nerve reconstruction surgeries with sticky notes and sharpies
• Innovating individualized procedures for patients both trans and cisgender
• Finding peace in the OR, surrounded by blue gowns and bright lights
• Reinventing his practice to stay engaged and energized

Dr. Peters shares powerful reflections on visibility and authenticity in academic medicine:

• The exhaustion of assimilation
• The freedom of showing up as himself
• The real question: Is it professionalism… or forced conformity?

We close with a conversation about sustainability, boundaries, and the 30-year plan:

• Guardrails around time and energy
• The wide, interdepartmental future of peripheral nerve surgery
• The healing power of storytelling—both his own and his patients’
• His plans to one day write a book that blends memoir with patient narratives to build empathy in a time when it’s urgently needed

This is a conversation about surgery, identity, advocacy, and resilience. About holding space for others while fighting for your own right to belong.

Because at the end of the day, we’re all just humans trying our best to live our lives in a...

Tyler Beauchamp is a pediatrician and children’s/YA author from Georgia whose earliest experiences with medicine came not as a student, but as a patient. As a child, Tyler spent years in and out of research clinics searching for answers. He began writing in waiting rooms as a way to cope, and eventually fell in love with both storytelling and medicine.

A graduate of the University of North Carolina, Tyler pursued both writing and medicine with the quiet hope that someday, he could bring those two worlds together.

In this episode, Tyler shares how being a long-time patient shaped his perspective on medical training and culture, including the deep stigma around being labeled a “pain patient.” We explore what it really means to be a physician or surgeon: Is our job simply to diagnose and treat? Or is there something more intangible—bearing witness, holding space, and being present with patients?

We also talk about why doctors are wired to hate uncertainty, and how that can get in the way of both healing and growth. Tyler reveals the counterintuitive secret that helped him expand his capacity during medical school. The best part is that it’s something you can access too.

Learn more about Tyler and his best-selling book, Freeze Frame, here.

Follow him on instagram here.

Check out Hippocratic Collective here.

Learn more about Empowered Surgeons Group here.