Psychologist and reparenting expert, Barlas Günay, comes on the show to reveal why the majority of us are really just children in white coats. Toddlers in scrubs. Babies pretending to be adults. And what we can do about it.

In this powerful episode, we explore why traditional cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) may fall short for high-functioning professionals—especially surgeons—whose deeply ingrained patterns stem from unmet emotional needs. We dive into the world of Schema Therapy, which addresses the origin of recurring emotional pain, not just its surface-level expression.

You’ll learn about the concept of “limited reparenting”, the 18 core maladaptive schemas, and the one that often plagues high-achievers: unrelenting standards and hypercriticalness. We explore how the environments of surgical training—hierarchical, elitist, and shame-based—reinforce these painful inner narratives.

What You’ll Learn:

• What schemas are: core beliefs developed through repeated unmet needs in childhood
• How trauma gets “stuck” in the body when fight-or-flight is inhibited
• The cycle of negative feedback in training, and how it impairs learning and emotional development
• Why positive reinforcement—not criticism—is the most effective teaching tool
• How to reconcile compassion for others with righteous anger and boundary-setting
• Why mental self-flagellation is learned, not necessary
• How it’s possible to be a brilliant surgeon with the frustration tolerance of an 8-year-old
• The link between repressed anger and chronic illness (“Repression of anger will f*ck you up”)
• Somatic and schema therapy techniques that actually help you heal, not just cope

Modalities We Discuss:

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) – how moving your eyes during trauma recall helps decouple the emergency response
• Somatic Completion – allowing the body to finish survival reflexes that were blocked
• Imagery Rescripting – going back into a childhood memory and rewriting the experience to reclaim power

Core Insight:

You can be competent, accomplished, and admired—and still be psychologically underdeveloped. It’s not your fault. But it is your responsibility to grow.

Final Thought:

Emotions are just data. Anger is not dangerous—it’s a vibration. Learn to feel it without reacting to it. Only then can you choose wisely.

Join more than 83k others and follow Barlas on instagram here and join his reparenting community. We all know we need this.

Join Empowered Surgeons Group here.

In this episode, Dr. Mel Thacker sits down with cardiac surgeon, Dr. Alexandra Kharazi. Together, they explore what it means to operate—literally and figuratively—from a place of purpose rather than fear.

We discuss:

• The emotional rewards of caring for high-risk cardiac patients who have few options left
• The "Black Swan" framework for surgical decision-making: a grounded process for choosing wisely when the stakes are highest
• Why just because we can, doesn’t mean we should—and how she decides when not to operate
• Why post-op cardiac care is never à la carte—and how communication defines outcomes
• Why self-flagellation after a complication sabotages future decision-making—and how to shift from fear-based to mission-based thinking
• What skydiving teaches about emergency preparedness, trust, and rapid execution
• How anxiety, fear, and trauma must be processed after the fact—not in the middle of the OR
• Using celebration and reflection to build self-trust and resilience
• Reclaiming your identity in medicine by anchoring to mission, not job title

This episode is a powerful invitation to rethink risk, courage, and how we serve. If you've ever struggled with self-doubt, anxiety about litigation and complications, or the emotional toll of high-stakes surgery—this conversation is for you.

Alexandra Kharazi, MD, is a board-certified cardiothoracic surgeon, author, speaker and skydiver.

​Dr. Kharazi is board certified in general surgery and cardiothoracic surgery. She has publications in numerous medical journals including The Annals of Thoracic Surgery, Innovations: Technology and Techniques in Cardiothoracic and Vascular Surgery, and Journal of Innovations in Cardiac Rhythm Management.

In addition to her medical degree, Dr. Kharazi holds a masters degree in biology, having completed a masters thesis titled "Generation and molecular analysis of dominant negative alleles of anthrax lethal factor in Drosophila."

Having received multiple honors and recognition for patient satisfaction, she has been featured in regional and national media outlets and peer-review journals, Medium, KevinMD, and Doximity among a few. Dr. Kharazi is the author of “The Heart of Fear” and offers realistic success plans that help her audience to become better … both personally and professionally.​

She is a member of the American College of Surgeons.

Follow Dr. Alexandra Kharazi on instagram here.

Connect with her on her website here.

Learn more about Empowered Surgeons Group here.

Learn more about Empowered Surgeons Group here.

In a profession that demands perfection and endurance, it’s easy to default to survival mode. But what if the real evolution happens when we shift from self-preservation to purpose?

In this episode, we unpack the 6 core human needs—belonging, autonomy, mastery, esteem, trust, and purpose—and how understanding them can change the way you show up in the OR, in leadership, and in life.

We dive into powerful mindshifts specifically for surgeons, like:

🔹 Perfectionism → Service

🔹 Scarcity → Abundance

🔹 "I have to" → "I get to"

🔹 "I don't know" → "I'm figuring it out"

🔹 Triggered → Curious

🔹 "I can’t say no" → "I only say yes when it’s a hell yes"

🔹 Self-focus → Other-focus

🔹 Waiting for the other shoe to drop → Trusting you'll be okay no matter what

These aren’t just affirmations. They’re tools for resilience and power—the kind that help you lead, advocate, and operate from your values, not just your training.

Whether you're burned out, bored, or just ready for something more aligned—this episode will help you remember what’s possible when you start leading from your whole self.