In this solo reflection, we look at the mind’s “stickiness”—how craving pulls us off-center—and explore nonattachment as freedom, not austerity. Drawing from the Bible, the Bhagavad Gita, the Buddha, and the poets, we unpack the ever-flowing river / ever-full sea image and land it in everyday life: work, family, food, phone use, and the little bargains we make with desire.

In this episode

• Nonattachment vs. renunciation: letting nothing own you
• Why the relief after “retail therapy” comes from the end of wanting, not the thing
• How to be with cravings without white-knuckling (the “just for now” approach)
• Welcoming withdrawals—insomnia, anxiety, vivid dreams—as teachers, not enemies
• The ocean image across traditions: steady in the middle of many rivers

Try this

• Pause the impulse: when a craving hits, wait a few minutes and feel it fully—no negotiating, just noticing
• Choose not now: you don’t need a lifetime vow; postpone once and re-check later
• Be gentle: meet slips with curiosity, not shame; begin again, like a river returning to the sea

Texts & voices referenced
James 1; Ecclesiastes; Jeremiah 17; John 4; the Bhagavad Gita; teachings of the Buddha; Rumi; Meister Eckhart; St. John of the Cross.

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Kill the Buddha? In this episode I unpack the famous Zen koan to expose spiritual materialism, ego traps, and how to ground practice in real life—on the cushion, in traffic, and in hard conversations. We look at the subtle ways the ego turns spirituality into an identity, and the simple moves that bring you back: breath, honesty, humility, and beginner’s mind.

Along the way: Chögyam Trungpa’s warning about “spiritual materialism,” Jesus and the I AM, Richard Rohr’s The Universal Christ, Ram Dass, Zen/Taoist pointers, and a closing reading of Kabir’s “the breath inside the breath.” If you’ve ever wondered whether your practice is helping you wake up or just look awake, this one’s for you.

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Kate Mageau is a therapist, author, and toxic-relationship survivor who joins me to talk candidly about the mechanics of abuse, the long arc of healing, and what it takes to rebuild self-trust without losing tenderness or hope.

Together we map the patterns that keep people stuck—gaslighting, shame spirals, trauma bonds, and the cycle of violence—and practice simple ways to move from analysis paralysis to clear decision-making. We focus on safety planning, overcoming hesitation, and mindfulness in daily life so that recovery becomes a lived reality rather than a distant idea.

Kate Mageau, LMHC, ADHD-CCSP, is a therapist, author, and toxic relationship survivor. Rose Colored Glasses teaches about toxic relationships through story, with psychological explanations after every chapter. The Healing from Toxic Relationships workbook teaches the mechanisms of abuse in more detail, and provides thoughtful journal prompts and coping tools. Kate Mageau is available for coaching worldwide, for ADHD, writing memoirs and self-publishing, starting businesses, and career coaching. https://www.katemageau.com/

Her book Rose Colored Glasses releases October 2 (one week after this episode airs). You can find it here: https://a.co/d/8U7owlG

Content note: This episode contains discussions of intimate partner violence and abuse. If you need support, the Domestic Violence Hotline is 800-799-SAFE (7233) and https://thehotline.org

Thank you for listening with care. May this conversation meet you where you are and help you take the next small, courageous step. 🕊️

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Hesitation can feel holy—like you’re safeguarding a perfect outcome—but it often becomes a kind of living death. This episode wrestles with wobbling (that anxious, double-minded stall) and what it takes to move with trust anyway.

From Einstein’s bicycle to the Matrix Oracle, from a boot-camp tower to a spouse’s one-line koan, momentum itself begins to clarify the road. Planning is wisdom; paralysis is not. Early-episode experiments, an AI-editing spiral, awkward first dates, a career crossroads, even Mario’s autoscroll levels—each scene becomes the same invitation: from hesitation to wholehearted action.

Along the way we explore analysis paralysis vs. presence, the courage to “cut off” competing options so a real choice can live, a generosity that doesn’t need applause, and the strange way death—remembered honestly—sharpens what matters now.

Across traditions, the counsel converges: James warns about the divided mind; the Gita points to action without clinging to results; Lao Tzu cautions against overfilling the cup; Alan Watts reminds us that security is a story we tell our breath. Different voices, same current—move, and balance finds you.

The turning point is simple and stubborn: sit when you sit, walk when you walk, and stop wobbling. Decide, move, and let the course-corrections meet you in motion.

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One afternoon in California, Diane Buehler quietly buckled her four young children into the car and left home for good—fleeing ten years of domestic abuse. In this special episode (the first with a guest on Standing Nowhere), host Jacob sits down with his mother, Diane, to hear how she not only survived those violent years but went on to raise five kids alone with unshakeable faith.

Picture Diane as a young mother standing over a crib in the dark, one gentle hand resting on her sleeping baby’s head as she whispers, “Dear God, please watch them throughout their lives.” That humble nighttime prayer sustained her through chaos and pain. From simple childhood memories of ice-skating on frozen ponds and showing pigs at county fairs, to long days of work and worry as a single mom, Diane learned to find a quiet strength in the everyday moments of grace.

Together, Diane and Jacob explore the hard-won lessons of her journey — resilience in the face of fear, the power of a mother’s love, the decision to finally walk away from abuse, and the deep well of forgiveness that awaited on the other side. She speaks candidly about the years it took to rebuild: nights of tears and doubt, welfare lines and thrift store bargains, and the bold leap of faith that led her to earn a master’s degree while raising four kids on her own.

Yet even more inspiring is what came after survival: the healing. Today, Diane can honestly say she forgives the very man who hurt her. In her words, “some things look hopeless, but it’s not hopeless. You must beg God to hear your prayer. And he does hear it.” Through all the flames she walked through, she kept a spirit of compassion alive — a testament to grace that challenges and uplifts everyone listening.

This heartfelt conversation ends with a special scripture blessing from the Book of Isaiah: “When you walk through fire, you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” Those ancient words echo through Diane’s life story, reminding us that even in our darkest trials we are never alone. In the end, Diane Buehler’s journey shines with a simple promise: no matter how fierce the fire, love and faith will carry us through.

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Anger is a blazing fire—blinding, burning, all-consuming. Within its flames is a chance to wake up with mindfulness and compassion and see ourselves more clearly.

Picture a moment of calm—fresh off a morning meditation—shattered when another driver cuts you off with your kids in the backseat. One heartbeat you're serene; the next, you're slamming the brakes and seeing red. Or imagine working 60-hour weeks delivering food, only to get a $1 tip that stings with injustice. In these everyday moments, anger ignites before we even realize it, testing the limits of our patience and presence.

In this episode, we explore anger from all sides: how it arises and blinds us, how it can be an organic part of life, and how it can become a profound teacher. Core themes of anger, mindfulness, compassion, and trust weave through personal stories and reflections. What do we do with our rage at unfair bosses, reckless drivers, or even our own family? Can we hold that fiery frustration with awareness and transform it into something else?

Ancient wisdom across traditions lights the way. Kabir, a 15th-century mystic, warns that anger is “the fire that burns the house you live in while you wave your fists at the neighbor.” The Buddha likens holding onto anger to grasping a hot coal — you're the one who gets burned. And Thich Nhat Hanh gently reminds us that as soon as we truly understand our anger, "the anger will transform itself into compassion." These insights, along with teachings from Rumi, Jesus, and Zen masters, are woven throughout the conversation.

Raw and real personal stories bring these teachings to life. A harrowing road rage incident becomes a wake-up call, and a shattered video game controller still hangs on the wall as a reminder of rage left unchecked. We hear how burnout and injustice pushed one man to a violent breaking point, and how even then, empathy and forgiveness begin to surface. Conflict — on the road, at home, in society — gradually gives way to understanding. Again and again, anger is met with a choice: feed the flames or cool them with compassion.

This journey moves from the heat of anger to the cool waters of mindfulness and mercy. By the end, what starts as stories of frustration and fury evolves into reflections on forgiveness, presence, and even gratitude for the hardest lessons. The episode closes with a gentle blessing of release: may we all be free from anger, and may all beings live with ease.

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What happens when effort becomes a trap—when we mistake striving for strength, control for care? As one old hymn puts it: ‘Lay your deadly doing down—down at Jesus’ feet.’

From the exhaustion of gig work to the pressure of parenting, from trying to meditate “perfectly” to just trying to pay rent—this is a real-time reflection on burnout, surrender, and the strange freedom that comes when you loosen your grip. I talk about raising my son Trent, quitting habits, and missing him after he left home. About sales jobs that drained the soul. About delivery apps, long hours, and that haunting moment when I wondered if it would be easier not to exist.

But in that low, I found a spark—what the Buddhists call virya, spiritual energy born from the ashes of striving. I speak about wu-wei, the Taoist art of not forcing, and how I try to bring that into everything: from meditation to Overwatch to pretending I’m a hostage while my son plays Batman.

Along the way, I weave stories from the Buddha, the Bhagavad Gita, Psalm 46, the Tao Te Ching, and that one quote from Gandalf that always gets me. I share a terrifying childhood dream, the moment I first “woke up” to mindfulness at Taco Bell, and the bittersweet beauty of learning to parent better with each child.

This isn’t a guide to doing nothing. It’s about doing what you must with clarity, not compulsion. Showing up fully—and letting the rest fall where it may.

So if you're tired of pushing, if you're caught between too tight and too loose, this episode is for you. May it remind you to breathe. To notice. To return.

“When nothing is done, nothing is left undone.” 🕊️

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“Live in the nowhere that you come from, even though you have an address here.” Rumi’s words echo through this gentle exploration of stillness amidst chaos. In a noisy sushi bar on a Friday night, Jacob quietly drafts an episode about silence — an irony that becomes an invitation into deeper presence.

He shares how daily spiritual practice has become his lifeline. As a gig worker and father stretched thin by extreme hours, financial strain, and heartache, Jacob finds solace each morning in a simple ritual of sitting in stillness. When life feels overwhelming — a broken-down car, the pang of missing his young son, the pull of old habits — returning to the breath carries him when his mind can’t. In these moments, letting go isn’t defeat but a subtle act of trust.

Woven throughout are glimmers of wisdom from many paths. Jacob recalls Jesus’s Beatitudes in their original Aramaic, revealing hidden layers of meaning (meekness as humble gentleness, sorrow as sacred openness). He leans on Meister Eckhart’s reminder that “there is nothing so much like God as silence,” and finds validation in a Pixar film’s lesson that embracing sadness is a step toward healing. From the Dalai Lama’s logic (“if you can fix it, why worry? If you can’t, why worry?”) to Chuang Tzu’s archer who loses his ease when a prize is at stake, the message is clear: our frantic striving only divides us from our natural skill, our innate peace.

At the heart of it all is Jacob’s hard-won understanding that surrender is a strength, not a weakness. He speaks candidly about being “cracked open” by despair — a moment when continuing to exist felt harder than not. That breaking point became a breakthrough: an entry into a life of practice, where love and stillness are two sides of the same coin. Through tears in meditation at 3 AM, through accepting help from friends and strangers when pride would have resisted, he discovers a powerful truth: when we finally release our tight control, we make room for grace.

This episode is a warm companion for anyone feeling adrift. It’s a reminder that you are not a separate mistake of the universe — you are an intelligent part of an intelligent whole. In the intimate, compassionate style of Standing Nowhere, Jacob extends a hand: inviting us to sit in silence each day, to trust the whisper of the soul, and to find that unshakable “nowhere” within. Come as you are, tears and all, and know that in this shared stillness, you’re already home. 🕊️

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