In this solo reflection, we look at the mind’s “stickiness”—how craving pulls us off-center—and explore nonattachment as freedom, not austerity. Drawing from the Bible, the Bhagavad Gita, the Buddha, and the poets, we unpack the ever-flowing river / ever-full sea image and land it in everyday life: work, family, food, phone use, and the little bargains we make with desire.

In this episode

• Nonattachment vs. renunciation: letting nothing own you
• Why the relief after “retail therapy” comes from the end of wanting, not the thing
• How to be with cravings without white-knuckling (the “just for now” approach)
• Welcoming withdrawals—insomnia, anxiety, vivid dreams—as teachers, not enemies
• The ocean image across traditions: steady in the middle of many rivers

Try this

• Pause the impulse: when a craving hits, wait a few minutes and feel it fully—no negotiating, just noticing
• Choose not now: you don’t need a lifetime vow; postpone once and re-check later
• Be gentle: meet slips with curiosity, not shame; begin again, like a river returning to the sea

Texts & voices referenced
James 1; Ecclesiastes; Jeremiah 17; John 4; the Bhagavad Gita; teachings of the Buddha; Rumi; Meister Eckhart; St. John of the Cross.

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Kill the Buddha? In this episode I unpack the famous Zen koan to expose spiritual materialism, ego traps, and how to ground practice in real life—on the cushion, in traffic, and in hard conversations. We look at the subtle ways the ego turns spirituality into an identity, and the simple moves that bring you back: breath, honesty, humility, and beginner’s mind.

Along the way: Chögyam Trungpa’s warning about “spiritual materialism,” Jesus and the I AM, Richard Rohr’s The Universal Christ, Ram Dass, Zen/Taoist pointers, and a closing reading of Kabir’s “the breath inside the breath.” If you’ve ever wondered whether your practice is helping you wake up or just look awake, this one’s for you.

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Kate Mageau is a therapist, author, and toxic-relationship survivor who joins me to talk candidly about the mechanics of abuse, the long arc of healing, and what it takes to rebuild self-trust without losing tenderness or hope.

Together we map the patterns that keep people stuck—gaslighting, shame spirals, trauma bonds, and the cycle of violence—and practice simple ways to move from analysis paralysis to clear decision-making. We focus on safety planning, overcoming hesitation, and mindfulness in daily life so that recovery becomes a lived reality rather than a distant idea.

Kate Mageau, LMHC, ADHD-CCSP, is a therapist, author, and toxic relationship survivor. Rose Colored Glasses teaches about toxic relationships through story, with psychological explanations after every chapter. The Healing from Toxic Relationships workbook teaches the mechanisms of abuse in more detail, and provides thoughtful journal prompts and coping tools. Kate Mageau is available for coaching worldwide, for ADHD, writing memoirs and self-publishing, starting businesses, and career coaching. https://www.katemageau.com/

Her book Rose Colored Glasses releases October 2 (one week after this episode airs). You can find it here: https://a.co/d/8U7owlG

Content note: This episode contains discussions of intimate partner violence and abuse. If you need support, the Domestic Violence Hotline is 800-799-SAFE (7233) and https://thehotline.org

Thank you for listening with care. May this conversation meet you where you are and help you take the next small, courageous step. 🕊️

Want to share a thought?

Support the show

🔗 All links: https://linktr.ee/standingnowhere
🎧 Listen on your favorite app
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📩 Email: standingnowherepodcast@gmail.com

(Tap “Support the show” above to become a Patron — thank you!)