We’re kicking off this week’s episode by fully endorsing the Louvre heist. We don’t condone crime...unless it’s chic, mysterious, and vaguely cinematic.

Then we talk about how Kylie Jenner defended her decision to wear that dress at the Bieber wedding. Girl, why…it was giving Met Gala at a “friend’s” wedding and we DON’T like that!

On the flip side, we learned Jenna Bush lived her best First Daughter college life by ditching her secret service for dorm room hookups…and we are obsessed.

Also, we’re fully casting directors because your girls have the Quicksilver adaptation figured out…okay, mostly just Carrion Swift, but priorities.

On the book front:

• Tori started The Huntress by Kate Quinn and she is locked in.
• Emily is multitasking her way through Throne of Glass on Kindle and Alchemy of Secrets by Stephanie Garber on Audible. Same vibe, lots of chaos.

This week, Tori’s baking era is in full swing, and we are living for it. From the rise of her sourdough starter to the zest of her lemon loaf, she’s keeping us all well-carbed.

In pop culture news:

• We’re still not okay with Justin Trudeau and Katy Perry’s relationship, let alone them kissing on her yacht. Our official stance? Do better, Justin.
• Charli XCX is basically in love with Taylor Swift…it’s actually romantic.
• Kevin Federline is dropping a memoir. We’re intrigued, but let’s all agree to take everything he says with a very large grain of salt.
• Lauren Conrad and Kristin Cavallari posted a photo together, and we are still screaming about the Laguna Beach reunion we never saw coming. 2000s girlies, rise.

On the book front: Tori finally finished Quicksilver…and it delivered. We’re talking spice, plot twists, romantic chaos, and yes, a little bit of divine dick energy. Let’s unpack it all.

This week, we officially enter our next Swiftie era with all our thoughts, feelings, and favorite lyrics from The Life of a Showgirl…and yes, we’ve been listening on repeat. And side note, Tori is now a baker.

Then we take a detour into disappointment with two reality TV OGs:

• Farrah Abraham for thinking it’s chill to let her 16-year-old get tattoos…we hope it’s a publicity stunt.
• Kim Zolciak for removing her daughter’s freckles…permanently. Ma’am…why?!

We also circle back to one of our favorite people to hate, Meghan Markle, and her truly tone-deaf move during her Paris trip. We have thoughts. Obviously.

Then it’s back to the bookish chaos as Tori gives her latest Quicksilver update, full of theories, questions, and emotional spirals. And Emily is right there with her.

Celebrity drama and book-fueled obsession with wine AND Tori’s bread on hand…the perfect mix.