We parents have been led to believe that for our teens and tweens to learn to behave appropriately, we must instill a little fear in them.

At the very least, we have to "show them we mean business" when they fail to meet our expectations or do something wrong.

But discipline, it turns out, is not about retribution or fear or punishment (especially when it comes to parenting teenagers).

If we want our teens and tweens to listen to us, cooperate, and ask for our advice and opinions, we have to get discipline right.

Listen in to today's episode as I answer 3 big questions about teen discipline:

1. What are we actually trying to accomplish when we "discipline" our teens?
2. Why does punishment backfire? and
3. How can we discipline effectively without damaging the relationship with our teens?

And be sure to check out today's Substack post (5-6-25) where I give you some specific guidelines on issuing logical consequences for your teen or tween that will keep them out of the realm of "punishments".

Show Notes for other resources and sources
Transcript

Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podcast! ...I'm so happy I discovered it!" Speaking of Teens Listener

^If you feel the same way, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps people know the show is worth their time to listen. Tap here, to go to Apple podcasts, and scroll down until you see the STARS to tap on the last star, then tap on “Write a Review” and let me know what you love about the show.

If you’re listening in Spotify, you can also rate the show by going to the main episode page and tap the 3 dots to the right of the follow button, tap rate show and tap the 5th star!

Thank you in advance for helping me help more parents!

I drop new episodes every Tuesday and Friday so please tap Follow on the main episode page, so they’ll be ready for you in your app.

You can reach out to me with ideas for the show or guest suggestions here. Thanks so much for listening!

Check out PARENT CAMP - a cohort-based, 10-week experience that includes a virtual course, in-depth exercises and tools, and weekly live meetings with Ann, where you will learn how to strengthen your relationship and decrease the conflict with your teens and tweens (while improving their behavior.)

Connect with us on Facebook or Instagram

Read Speaking of Teens weekly articles on Substack

Join our Facebook Group for Free Support for Parents and others who care for Teens (and get easy access to all the parenting guides above!)

See My Recommended Books For Both You And Your Teen

Parenting a teenager means dealing with new and often complicated issues on a daily basis.

There are constant requests to do something they've never done before and requests to change the current house rules, breaking the rules, their inability to live up to certain expectations, and on and on.

This is all part of parenting a teen or tween--but it's exhausting and often produces more arguments and power struggles than you'd like.

Listen in today as I explain 5 core concepts that will help you manage all these anxiety-provoking interactions with as little conflict between you and your teen as possible.

And be sure to check out today's Substack post (4-29-25) where I walk you through a conversation with your teen to demonstrate these concepts.

Show Notes for other resources and sources
Transcript

Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podcast! ...I'm so happy I discovered it!" Speaking of Teens Listener

^If you feel the same way, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps people know the show is worth their time to listen. Tap here, to go to Apple podcasts, and scroll down until you see the STARS to tap on the last star, then tap on “Write a Review” and let me know what you love about the show.

If you’re listening in Spotify, you can also rate the show by going to the main episode page and tap the 3 dots to the right of the follow button, tap rate show and tap the 5th star!

Thank you in advance for helping me help more parents!

I drop new episodes every Tuesday and Friday so please tap Follow on the main episode page, so they’ll be ready for you in your app.

You can reach out to me with ideas for the show or guest suggestions here. Thanks so much for listening!

Check out PARENT CAMP - a cohort-based, 10-week experience that includes a virtual course, in-depth exercises and tools, and weekly live meetings with Ann, where you will learn how to strengthen your relationship and decrease the conflict with your teens and tweens (while improving their behavior.)

Connect with us on Facebook or Instagram

Read Speaking of Teens weekly articles on Substack

Join our Facebook Group for Free Support for Parents and others who care for Teens (and get easy access to all the parenting guides above!)

See My Recommended Books For Both You And Your Teen

The conversations your teen or tween initiates are an opportunity to connect. But you often you miss that opportunity because of your own agenda to turn everything into a teachable moment.

Your need to constantly correct how your teenager thinks, feels, and acts, interferes with your ability to connect with them on a deeper emotional level.

You're inadvertently creating arguments and power struggles because you fail to understand the conversation your teen is trying to have with you.

Listen to today's episode and learn to ditch your agenda (and the conflict) and start connecting with your teen.

And be sure to check out today's Substack post (4-22-25) where I give you even more tips on communicating better with your teens and tweens.

Supercommunicators (Charles Duhigg)

Show Notes for other resources and sources
Transcript

Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podcast! ...I'm so happy I discovered it!" Speaking of Teens Listener

^If you feel the same way, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps people know the show is worth their time to listen. Tap here, to go to Apple podcasts, and scroll down until you see the STARS to tap on the last star, then tap on “Write a Review” and let me know what you love about the show.

If you’re listening in Spotify, you can also rate the show by going to the main episode page and tap the 3 dots to the right of the follow button, tap rate show and tap the 5th star!

Thank you in advance for helping me help more parents!

I drop new episodes every Tuesday and Friday so please tap Follow on the main episode page, so they’ll be ready for you in your app.

You can reach out to me with ideas for the show or guest suggestions here. Thanks so much for listening!

Check out PARENT CAMP - a cohort-based, 10-week experience that includes a virtual course, in-depth exercises and tools, and weekly live meetings with Ann, where you will learn how to strengthen your relationship and decrease the conflict with your teens and tweens (while improving their behavior.)

Connect with us on Facebook or Instagram

Read Speaking of Teens weekly articles on Substack

Join our Facebook Group for Free Support for Parents and others who care for Teens (and get easy access to all the parenting guides above!)

See My Recommended Books For Both You And Your Teen

What's the scientific truth about ultra-processed foods? Kids and teens often survive on foods that would easily fall into this category.

Additives such as preservatives, artificial sweeteners, and food dyes can negatively impact a teenager's, a tween's, or a child's mental health and emotional regulation and behavior.

Listen and learn how substances in foods and beverages your child may be consuming every day, may be to blame for their emotional outbursts or may contribute to their anxiety or ADHD.

And be sure to follow up with today's Substack post, Who's Protecting Your Teen From Ultra Processed Foods? where I explain more about the U.S. FDA and how it falls short in protecting our kids and teens.

Show Notes for other resources and sources
Transcript

Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podcast! ...I'm so happy I discovered it!" Speaking of Teens Listener

^If you feel the same way, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps people know the show is worth their time to listen. Tap here, to go to Apple podcasts, and scroll down until you see the STARS to tap on the last star, then tap on “Write a Review” and let me know what you love about the show.

If you’re listening in Spotify, you can also rate the show by going to the main episode page and tap the 3 dots to the right of the follow button, tap rate show and tap the 5th star!

Thank you in advance for helping me help more parents!

I drop new episodes every Tuesday and Friday so please tap Follow on the main episode page, so they’ll be ready for you in your app.

You can reach out to me with ideas for the show or guest suggestions here. Thanks so much for listening!

Check out PARENT CAMP - a cohort-based, 10-week experience that includes a virtual course, in-depth exercises and tools, and weekly live meetings with Ann, where you will learn how to strengthen your relationship and decrease the conflict with your teens and tweens (while improving their behavior.)

Connect with us on Facebook or Instagram

Read Speaking of Teens weekly articles on Substack

Join our Facebook Group for Free Support for Parents and others who care for Teens (and get easy access to all the parenting guides above!)

See My Recommended Books For Both You And Your Teen

You know all those emails, texts (or even calls) you receive from your teen or tween's school about their assignments or grades?

How do they make you feel? How do they influence your parenting?

Join me today as I advise you on how to avoid the issues these communications can cause between you and your teen.

And you'll want to read today's Substack post where I talk about the mistakes you may be making in trying to motivate your teen or tween to do better in school.

Show Notes for other resources and sources
Transcript

Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podcast! ...I'm so happy I discovered it!" Speaking of Teens Listener

^If you feel the same way, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps people know the show is worth their time to listen. Tap here, to go to Apple podcasts, and scroll down until you see the STARS to tap on the last star, then tap on “Write a Review” and let me know what you love about the show.

If you’re listening in Spotify, you can also rate the show by going to the main episode page and tap the 3 dots to the right of the follow button, tap rate show and tap the 5th star!

Thank you in advance for helping me help more parents!

I drop new episodes every Tuesday and Friday so please tap Follow on the main episode page, so they’ll be ready for you in your app.

You can reach out to me with ideas for the show or guest suggestions here. Thanks so much for listening!

Check out PARENT CAMP - a cohort-based, 10-week experience that includes a virtual course, in-depth exercises and tools, and weekly live meetings with Ann, where you will learn how to strengthen your relationship and decrease the conflict with your teens and tweens (while improving their behavior.)

Connect with us on Facebook or Instagram

Read Speaking of Teens weekly articles on Substack

Join our Facebook Group for Free Support for Parents and others who care for Teens (and get easy access to all the parenting guides above!)

See My Recommended Books For Both You And Your Teen

I have a special mini-episode today based on my time away in the mountains of Virginia this weekend with my stepdaughter and her boyfriend.

My stepchildren are so very similar in intellect and temperament but their personalities and lifestyles couldn't be more different.

This weekend's experience left me pondering (once again) the way we teach our teens the meaning of success or having a successful life.

How do you define success? More importantly, how do you think your teenager would define success, if it was solely left up to them? Have a listen and see if this strikes a chord.

Show Notes for other resources and sources
Transcript

Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podcast! ...I'm so happy I discovered it!" Speaking of Teens Listener

^If you feel the same way, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps people know the show is worth their time to listen. Tap here, to go to Apple podcasts, and scroll down until you see the STARS to tap on the last star, then tap on “Write a Review” and let me know what you love about the show.

If you’re listening in Spotify, you can also rate the show by going to the main episode page and tap the 3 dots to the right of the follow button, tap rate show and tap the 5th star!

Thank you in advance for helping me help more parents!

I drop new episodes every Tuesday and Friday so please tap Follow on the main episode page, so they’ll be ready for you in your app.

You can reach out to me with ideas for the show or guest suggestions here. Thanks so much for listening!

Check out PARENT CAMP - a cohort-based, 10-week experience that includes a virtual course, in-depth exercises and tools, and weekly live meetings with Ann, where you will learn how to strengthen your relationship and decrease the conflict with your teens and tweens (while improving their behavior.)

Connect with us on Facebook or Instagram

Read Speaking of Teens weekly articles on Substack

Join our Facebook Group for Free Support for Parents and others who care for Teens (and get easy access to all the parenting guides above!)

See My Recommended Books For Both You And Your Teen

Having talked to Casie Fariello (Other Parents Like Me) on the podcast last week about her son’s mental health struggle and their experience with his inpatient treatment, followed by a Substack post about getting insurance to pay for residential treatment—I realized I still had more to say on this topic.

So, on today’s episode, I explain that sending your teen away from home for treatment for their mental health and/or behavior should only be considered as a last resort, with the biggest consideration being their safety or the safety of others.

According to the prevailing opinion in the child and adolescent mental health field, kids and teens should be kept at home and all other treatment options should be exhausted before considering residential treatment, wilderness, a therapeutic boarding school, etc.

In this episode, I also argue that parents must take a hard look at their parenting practices and their mental health to insure they are not exacerbating their teen's mental health or behavior problems, before making this big decision.

Today's Substack post takes the topic even further as I discuss how to prevent fear (often caused by the "troubled teen industry") from driving your decision to send your teen away from home for treatment.

Show Notes for other resources and sources
Transcript

Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podcast! ...I'm so happy I discovered it!" Speaking of Teens Listener

^If you feel the same way, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps people know the show is worth their time to listen. Tap here, to go to Apple podcasts, and scroll down until you see the STARS to tap on the last star, then tap on “Write a Review” and let me know what you love about the show.

If you’re listening in Spotify, you can also rate the show by going to the main episode page and tap the 3 dots to the right of the follow button, tap rate show and tap the 5th star!

Thank you in advance for helping me help more parents!

I drop new episodes every Tuesday and Friday so please tap Follow on the main episode page, so they’ll be ready for you in your app.

You can reach out to me with ideas for the show or guest suggestions here. Thanks so much for listening!

Check out PARENT CAMP - a cohort-based, 10-week experience that includes a virtual course, in-depth exercises and tools, and weekly live meetings with Ann, where you will learn how to strengthen your relationship and decrease the conflict with your teens and tweens (while improving their behavior.)

Connect with us on Facebook or Instagram

Read Speaking of Teens weekly articles on Substack

Join our Facebook Group for Free Support for Parents and others who care for Teens (and get easy access to all the parenting guides above!)

See My Recommended Books For Both You And Your Teen

In today's episode I'm speaking with Casie Fariello of the parenting support platform, Other Parents Like Me.

All three of Casie's teens struggled with their mental health but it was her middle child that required a residential treatment center and a therapeutic boarding school. Her experience navigating these issues led her to launch her company to help support other parents like her.

Anytime you can hear another parent give an honest account of the challenges they faced with their teens, it helps you feel less alone. And when their story turns out as well as Casie's does, it also gives you hope for the future.

Today's Substack post takes the topic even further as I discuss 8 lessons I learned while negotiating our insurance company's payment of benefits for my son's stay at a residential treatment center...if you'd like to check it out.

Show Notes for other resources and sources
Transcript

Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podcast! ...I'm so happy I discovered it!" Speaking of Teens Listener

^If you feel the same way, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps people know the show is worth their time to listen. Tap here, to go to Apple podcasts, and scroll down until you see the STARS to tap on the last star, then tap on “Write a Review” and let me know what you love about the show.

If you’re listening in Spotify, you can also rate the show by going to the main episode page and tap the 3 dots to the right of the follow button, tap rate show and tap the 5th star!

Thank you in advance for helping me help more parents!

I drop new episodes every Tuesday and Friday so please tap Follow on the main episode page, so they’ll be ready for you in your app.

You can reach out to me with ideas for the show or guest suggestions here. Thanks so much for listening!

Check out PARENT CAMP - a cohort-based, 10-week experience that includes a virtual course, in-depth exercises and tools, and weekly live meetings with Ann, where you will learn how to strengthen your relationship and decrease the conflict with your teens and tweens (while improving their behavior.)

Connect with us on Facebook or Instagram

Read Speaking of Teens weekly articles on Substack

Join our Facebook Group for Free Support for Parents and others who care for Teens (and get easy access to all the parenting guides above!)

See My Recommended Books For Both You And Your Teen