We parents have been led to believe that for our teens and tweens to learn to behave appropriately, we must instill a little fear in them.

At the very least, we have to "show them we mean business" when they fail to meet our expectations or do something wrong.

But discipline, it turns out, is not about retribution or fear or punishment (especially when it comes to parenting teenagers).

If we want our teens and tweens to listen to us, cooperate, and ask for our advice and opinions, we have to get discipline right.

Listen in to today's episode as I answer 3 big questions about teen discipline:

1. What are we actually trying to accomplish when we "discipline" our teens?
2. Why does punishment backfire? and
3. How can we discipline effectively without damaging the relationship with our teens?

And be sure to check out today's Substack post (5-6-25) where I give you some specific guidelines on issuing logical consequences for your teen or tween that will keep them out of the realm of "punishments".

Show Notes for other resources and sources
Transcript

Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podcast! ...I'm so happy I discovered it!" Speaking of Teens Listener

^If you feel the same way, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps people know the show is worth their time to listen. Tap here, to go to Apple podcasts, and scroll down until you see the STARS to tap on the last star, then tap on “Write a Review” and let me know what you love about the show.

If you’re listening in Spotify, you can also rate the show by going to the main episode page and tap the 3 dots to the right of the follow button, tap rate show and tap the 5th star!

Thank you in advance for helping me help more parents!

I drop new episodes every Tuesday and Friday so please tap Follow on the main episode page, so they’ll be ready for you in your app.

You can reach out to me with ideas for the show or guest suggestions here. Thanks so much for listening!

Check out PARENT CAMP - a cohort-based, 10-week experience that includes a virtual course, in-depth exercises and tools, and weekly live meetings with Ann, where you will learn how to strengthen your relationship and decrease the conflict with your teens and tweens (while improving their behavior.)

Connect with us on Facebook or Instagram

Read Speaking of Teens weekly articles on Substack

Join our Facebook Group for Free Support for Parents and others who care for Teens (and get easy access to all the parenting guides above!)

See My Recommended Books For Both You And Your Teen

Parenting a teenager means dealing with new and often complicated issues on a daily basis.

There are constant requests to do something they've never done before and requests to change the current house rules, breaking the rules, their inability to live up to certain expectations, and on and on.

This is all part of parenting a teen or tween--but it's exhausting and often produces more arguments and power struggles than you'd like.

Listen in today as I explain 5 core concepts that will help you manage all these anxiety-provoking interactions with as little conflict between you and your teen as possible.

And be sure to check out today's Substack post (4-29-25) where I walk you through a conversation with your teen to demonstrate these concepts.

Show Notes for other resources and sources
Transcript

Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podcast! ...I'm so happy I discovered it!" Speaking of Teens Listener

^If you feel the same way, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps people know the show is worth their time to listen. Tap here, to go to Apple podcasts, and scroll down until you see the STARS to tap on the last star, then tap on “Write a Review” and let me know what you love about the show.

If you’re listening in Spotify, you can also rate the show by going to the main episode page and tap the 3 dots to the right of the follow button, tap rate show and tap the 5th star!

Thank you in advance for helping me help more parents!

I drop new episodes every Tuesday and Friday so please tap Follow on the main episode page, so they’ll be ready for you in your app.

You can reach out to me with ideas for the show or guest suggestions here. Thanks so much for listening!

Check out PARENT CAMP - a cohort-based, 10-week experience that includes a virtual course, in-depth exercises and tools, and weekly live meetings with Ann, where you will learn how to strengthen your relationship and decrease the conflict with your teens and tweens (while improving their behavior.)

Connect with us on Facebook or Instagram

Read Speaking of Teens weekly articles on Substack

Join our Facebook Group for Free Support for Parents and others who care for Teens (and get easy access to all the parenting guides above!)

See My Recommended Books For Both You And Your Teen

The conversations your teen or tween initiates are an opportunity to connect. But you often you miss that opportunity because of your own agenda to turn everything into a teachable moment.

Your need to constantly correct how your teenager thinks, feels, and acts, interferes with your ability to connect with them on a deeper emotional level.

You're inadvertently creating arguments and power struggles because you fail to understand the conversation your teen is trying to have with you.

Listen to today's episode and learn to ditch your agenda (and the conflict) and start connecting with your teen.

And be sure to check out today's Substack post (4-22-25) where I give you even more tips on communicating better with your teens and tweens.

Supercommunicators (Charles Duhigg)

Show Notes for other resources and sources
Transcript

Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podcast! ...I'm so happy I discovered it!" Speaking of Teens Listener

^If you feel the same way, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps people know the show is worth their time to listen. Tap here, to go to Apple podcasts, and scroll down until you see the STARS to tap on the last star, then tap on “Write a Review” and let me know what you love about the show.

If you’re listening in Spotify, you can also rate the show by going to the main episode page and tap the 3 dots to the right of the follow button, tap rate show and tap the 5th star!

Thank you in advance for helping me help more parents!

I drop new episodes every Tuesday and Friday so please tap Follow on the main episode page, so they’ll be ready for you in your app.

You can reach out to me with ideas for the show or guest suggestions here. Thanks so much for listening!

Check out PARENT CAMP - a cohort-based, 10-week experience that includes a virtual course, in-depth exercises and tools, and weekly live meetings with Ann, where you will learn how to strengthen your relationship and decrease the conflict with your teens and tweens (while improving their behavior.)

Connect with us on Facebook or Instagram

Read Speaking of Teens weekly articles on Substack

Join our Facebook Group for Free Support for Parents and others who care for Teens (and get easy access to all the parenting guides above!)

See My Recommended Books For Both You And Your Teen