It was such a delight to talk to Therapy Growth Group and Good Enough Counsellors founder and fellow ADHDer Josephine Hughes again for Episode 101. Josephine hosts two podcasts (there’s a link to an episode I was on with her in the links below), Good Enough Counsellors and Gloriously Unready.

Previously, the Feel Better Every Day Podcast, you’re listening to what’s now the Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham podcast. Learn to love and care for all your parts, including your AuDHD and trauma, from the soles of your feet to your soul.

This week, Josephine shared her love of chocolate with my Míle Buíochas Mondays subscribers and in this full episode of the podcast, Josephine talks about the journey she took with her church community in terms of becoming more inclusive and loving.

“You can be fully inclusive and therefore be in line theologically with the Bible, or you can say, no, no, no, that’s not what the Bible says at all. And really between the two positions, people try and fudge it, but it’s either one or the other. So our church, very fortunately, decides to go for full inclusivity. And it was a journey we all went on together, but we did lose a lot of people.”

She also shares her love of music and ever-increasing self-compassion.

Again, as you listen, notice what you’re most aware of in your physical, energetic, emotional, mental and spiritual bodies as you scan all your parts, from the soles of your feet to your soul.

Let me know in the comments or by emailing me at eve@solestosoul.ie

le grá (with love),

Eve

HASHTAGS

#josephinehughes

#evemenezescunningham

#goodenoughcounsellors

#faith

CHAPTERS

0:00 Self-criticism and the idea of being good enough

0:19 Podcast introduction and Eve’s background

4:30 Re-introducing Josephine Hughes

6:03 The Good Enough Counsellors community and imposter syndrome

12:09 Ideal vs good-enough self-care

15:06 The importance of being heard and understood

16:20 Music, faith and feeling loved and accepted

21:02 Community care and finding an inclusive church

24:28 Advice to a younger self about self-worth

28:27 Where to find Josephine and her work

29:45 Reflections and mini energy and body scan

LINKS

https://solestosoul.ie/book for free resources including book bonus videos for 365 Ways to Feel Better

Episode 23: Josephine Hughes

Eve guesting on Josephine’s Good Enough Counsellors Podcast

Connect with Josephine

Good Enough Counsellors:

https://josephinehughes.com/

Gloriously Unready Podcast: https://gloriouslyunready.com/podcast/

Facebook Good Enough Counselling Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/goodenoughcounsellors

Imposter Syndrome

https://paulineroseclance.com/impostor_phenomenon.html

Read my interview with Marianne Williamson from Rapport, Spring 2009 https://issuu.com/rapportmag/docs/rapport_spring_09/24

This week’s episode follows on from Episode 98 and the seemingly endless trauma triggers from the news. It feels like it’s been getting more triggering for years and years but amping up even more recently. I keep telling myself it’s all coming up for healing and sunlight is the best disinfectant. That, ultimately, we are in the process of remembering we’re all connected, we all deserve safety, connection, love and the potential to thrive and we’re creating a new, more peaceful, free and equitable – for ALL – world.

And we can do nothing to help ourselves or anyone else if we’re quietly rocking back and forth, in floods of tears, feeling helpless and hopeless. By coming together, supporting and speaking up for each other, we can find joy and hope (while doing the work we all need to do in the giant group project called life) in more sustainable ways.

This simple, quick and easy (the more you practice, the quicker it gets) not only helps to clear our own energy fields and connect with our own miraculous Self but it helps us clear the space in meetings, communities and the world at large so we’re ultimately defying the dystopia some people are perfectly happy for us to feel is inevitable. It is not. We get to remember the power we all have as individuals and to amplify it by working together, energetically and in practical ways, too.

Let me know a) how you get on with the meditation and b) what kind of world you’d LIKE to help contribute to building – comment or email eve@selfcarecoaching.net

le grá (with love),

Eve

This week’s episode follows on from Episode 98 and the seemingly endless trauma triggers from the news. It feels like it’s been getting more triggering for years and years but amping up even more recently. I keep telling myself it’s all coming up for healing and sunlight is the best disinfectant. That, ultimately, we are in the process of remembering we’re all connected, we all deserve safety, connection, love and the potential to thrive and we’re creating a new, more peaceful, free and equitable – for ALL – world.

And we can do nothing to help ourselves or anyone else if we’re quietly rocking back and forth, in floods of tears, feeling helpless and hopeless. By coming together, supporting and speaking up for each other, we can find joy and hope (while doing the work we all need to do in the giant group project called life) in more sustainable ways.

This simple, quick and easy (the more you practice, the quicker it gets) not only helps to clear our own energy fields and connect with our own miraculous Self but it helps us clear the space in meetings, communities and the world at large so we’re ultimately defying the dystopia some people are perfectly happy for us to feel is inevitable. It is not. We get to remember the power we all have as individuals and to amplify it by working together, energetically and in practical ways, too.

Let me know a) how you get on with the meditation and b) what kind of world you’d LIKE to help contribute to building – comment or email eve@selfcarecoaching.net

le grá (with love),

Eve

CHAPTERS

0:00 Power, self-connection and the benefits of this energy clearing meditation

0:51 Podcast intro, resources and weekly nervous system support

2:52 Defying dystopia through self-care, boundaries and compassion

3:53 Introducing the magnet clearing meditation

5:03 Why this meditation is quick, adaptable and beginner-friendly

6:09 Grounding the body and preparing the nervous system

6:36 Clearing above and below to release inauthentic energy

7:48 Clearing front and back for fears, pain and past experiences

9:08 Clearing left and right for giving, receiving and...

This is an unexpected episode on account of the pain the news is causing so many survivors (myself included!). How do we continue to function let alone thrive when the messages we keep on getting is that perpetrators rights to do whatever they feel like doing trump our basic human rights including safety?

I realise that this is a very sensitive topic and it is also a topic that impacts an enormous amount of people, huge amount of people, not just women but predominantly women and girls.

An enormous amount is coming up for healing. Sunlight is a wonderful disinfectant but if you’re feeling raw, tender, hopeless or anything else right now, know that you’re not alone. Know that you looking after yourself (and accessing all the available supports and resources you want and need) and not giving up is a radical act.

You deserve love. You deserve safety. You deserve care. You deserve pleasure. You deserve ALL good things and I hope the resources I share in this week’s episode will help you reconnect with your own favourites, too.

Let me know how you’re getting on by email or in the comments.

le grá (with love),

Eve

CHAPTERS [these may be a little off this week due to episode order changing]

0:00 News, sexual violence and collective triggering

0:27 Podcast intro, resources, and newsletter

3:04 Bandwidth, dysregulation and the Feel. Love. Heal. framework

4:46 Feel – nervous system regulation and embodied safety

5:45 Love – radical self-acceptance in painful times

6:15 Heal – community, accountability and collective care

7:39 Reclaiming your body and sensory self-regulation

10:06 Healing is not linear – from despair to thriving

13:19 Co-regulation, belonging and survivor communities

16:24 Survivor stories, activism and the power of solidarity

18:49 Power, oppression and not giving in to despair

19:45 Choosing gentleness and imagining a better world

20:47 Episode closing and next week’s episode

LINKS

7 Simple and Effective Self-care Tools for Trauma Survivors

https://selfcarecoaching.net/2018/09/28/7-simple-and-effective-self-care-tools-for-trauma-survivors/

https://selfcarecoaching.net/trauma/ Access more self-care, Self care and collective care resources

https://selfcarecoaching.net/feline Find out more about the Polyvagal Purrs approach

FULL TRANSCRIPT

We’re basically being given the message time and time again with Irish headlines about [convicted] sexual predators getting less [time in prison] than speeding offenders, with the whole Epstein files… So many examples of sexual predators getting away with it and that can be incredibly triggering.

Hi, I’m Eve Menezes Cunningham and you’re listening to the Feel Better Every Day Podcast.

You can find out more and access older episodes at thefeelbettereverydaypodcast.com and you can also access loads of free resources and find out more about the book 365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing and the column I write for Platinum every month, other titles I contribute to, my work, loads of free resources I’ve...

“We get a lot of meaning from creating spaces where people can come and connect, and feel like they’re in a place where they’re welcomed, and that some good things can happen.” ~ John Wilson, Co-director, Online Events

It was SUCH a joy to talk to Online Events’ co-director, John Wilson. As well as talking about his own ideal and actual self-care, Self care and collective care practices, he shares some of what he’s learned through co-creating such a nourishing online community for therapists, counsellors and supervisors.

Chapters

0:01–2:26 Introduction, movement and nervous system support

2:26–3:38 Welcoming John Wilson of Online Events

3:38–6:22 John’s work, community building and setting the context

6:22–9:10 The Feel part: movement, walking, and self-regulation

9:10–12:16 Sleep, flexibility, and adapting self-care when plans change

12:16–14:04 Letting go of perfection and allowing partial practices

14:04–16:59 The Love part: nature, presence, and remembering connection

16:59–19:01 The Heal part: community, meaning, and shared purpose at work

19:01–22:38 Leadership, slowing down, and staying connected under pressure

22:38–24:04 Advice to a younger self and sustaining long-term projects

24:04–26:39 Closing reflections, where to find John, and final notes

Links

Where to find Online Events:

Website:

https://OnlinEvents.co.uk/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Online Eventscpd/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Online Events

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/Online Events/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Online Events_saz

Episode 86: Tracy Otsuka on the 43% of ADHDers with Excellent Mental Health

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Definitely movement is helpful for me. I’m not really a stationary person so anything that has movement in it is helpful for me. And that’s both physically and psychologically.

Hi, I’m Eve Menezes Cunningham, and you’re listening to the Feel Better Every Day Podcast. You can find out more, and access older episodes, at thefeelbettereverydaypodcast.com, and you can also access loads of free resources, and find out more about the book 365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing, the column I write for Platinum every month, other titles I contribute to, my work, loads of free resources I’ve created over the years.

I really hope you enjoy this episode, and if you haven’t already signed up for my free newsletter, it goes out on a Monday, Míle Buíochas Mondays. Míle Buíochas means a thousand thank yous in Irish, which I’m very slowly learning.

It’s polyvagal informed journal prompts, to help you each week. There’s the gratitude practice element, figuring out more of what brings you joy on a daily basis, what helps you feel in that ventral vagal, what I call Purr! when I use the rescue cats, with the Polyvagal Purrs approach and I also share some of my own gratitudes, some of the things that have helped me feel more in the ventral vagal that week. Some of those will be resources that might benefit you.

I also share news about upcoming events, special offers, things like that, but the journal prompts also include encouragement to look at what is creating sympathetic survival responses (that Hiss! with the Polyvagal Purrs approach) and, potentially, the dorsal vagal (Freeze!).

It’s really helping you learn to map your own nervous system, get to know yourself, and get to support yourself, and it’s

Sensory Soothers for Trauma and AuDHD this Brigid: Episode 96 of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast

Do you want to learn to soothe and support your extra sensitive (whether through trauma/s, AuDHD (autism and ADHD) or anything else) nervous system?

The Goddess Brigid (we had a bank holiday yesterday to honour her, as well as her namesake, St Brigid, yesterday) is associated with so many wonderful qualities. Use her inspiration, healing and wisdom energies to protect and work with your sensitive nervous system instead of pushing through.

I share some of my personal journey with swimming and sensory challenges, offering practical strategies for finding activities that bring you joy (glimmers) as well as triggering more challenging sensory issues. Navigate sensory triggers with self-compassion and create a self-care practice that honours your AuDHD brain.

#brigid

#sensorydifferences

#sensitivenervoussystem

#audhd

#trauma

CHAPTERS

0:00–2:24 Introduction, AuDHD, balance, and nervous system support

2:24–3:13 Honouring Brigid and working with an extra-sensitive nervous system

3:13–6:03 Swimming as sensory soothing, regulation and coming home to the body

6:03–8:16 Glimmers, play, balance and how swimming supports ADHD symptoms

8:16–10:23 The Feel part: identifying glimmers, benefits and sensory blocks

10:23–12:28 The Love part: self-compassion, adaptation, and working with sensory needs

12:28–14:04 The Heal part: community, co-regulation and choosing when togetherness helps

14:04–15:50 Closing reflections, encouragement and next episode

FULL TRANSCRIPT

I love the balancing elements in terms of ADHD, balance is really helpful in terms of working with the cerebellum part of the brain and that’s really helpful in terms of some of our symptoms.

Hi, I’m Eve Menezes Cunningham and you’re listening to the Feel Better Every Day Podcast. You can find out more and access older episodes at thefeelbettereverydaypodcast.com and you can also access loads of free resources and find out more about the book, 365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing, the column I write for Platinum every month, other titles I contribute to, my work, loads of free resources I’ve created over the years.

I really hope you enjoy this episode and if you haven’t already signed up for my free newsletter, it goes out on a Monday, Míle Buíochas Mondays. Míle Buíochas means a thousand thank yous in Irish, which I’m very slowly learning. It’s polyvagal informed journal prompts to help you each week. There’s the gratitude practice element, figuring out more of what brings you joy on a daily basis, what helps you feel in that ventral vagal state (I call Purr! when I use the rescue cats with the Polyvagal Purrs approach) and I also share some of my own gratitudes, some of the things that have helped me feel more in ventral vagal that week.

Some of those will be resources that might benefit you and I also share news about upcoming events, special offers, things like that. The journal prompts also include encouragement to look at what is creating sympathetic survival responses (that Hiss! with the Polyvagal Purrs approach) and potentially the dorsal vagal (Freeze!). It’s really helping you learn to map your own nervous system, get to know yourself and to support yourself and it’s all free. If you haven’t already, you can sign up at selfcarecoaching.net and if you have any questions again, let me know eve at selfcarecoaching.net. I hope you enjoy this episode.

Welcome to episode 96 of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast and this week we’re honouring the Goddess and Saint Brigid. It’s a new bank holiday in Ireland the last few years and Brigid has enormous associations with many, many things but particularly healing, inspiration, wisdom and protection.

I thought that for today’s...

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) can feel debilitating when you’re living with AuDHD (autism and ADHD). In this episode, I share some of my personal journey with RSD - even at age 50! - and introduce some practical tools that help me and which can support you in stopping rejecting yourself.

CHAPTERS

0:00–2:22 Introduction to RSD and nervous system–informed support

2:22–5:23 Why RSD is so excruciating and how self-rejection develops

5:23–8:15 Early criticism, negative conditioning, and the ADHD/RSD cycle

8:15–11:47 RSD in creativity, work, relationships, and self-worth

11:47–13:45 Self-acceptance, self-love, and healing RSD in community

13:45–15:58 Expanding life again: stopping self-rejection and finding support

15:58–19:40 The Feel Love Heal framework and non-violent communication

19:40–24:52 Giraffe and jackal energy: compassion, blame, and nervous system responses

24:52–27:54 Fear of rejection, shame, and a very human yoga story

27:54–31:55 Integration, encouragement, and closing reflections

LINKS

Episode 71: Shadow Work with Black Cats and Sharks

Episode 72: The “Independent Woman” Trap

365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing https://selfcarecoaching.net/book/

https://selfcarecoaching.net/2018/12/05/wellbeing-wednesday-advent-gratitude-practice-and-giraffes-and-jackals-for-better-communication-with-yourself-and-others/

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to Episode 95 of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast and it’s part one of on RSD, Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, which is so prevalent with AuDHD and that’s autism and ADHD. And it can feel debilitating.

Hi, I’m Eve Menezes Cunningham and you’re listening to the Feel Better Every Day Podcast. You can find out more and access older episodes at thefeelbettereverydaypodcast.com and you can also access loads of free resources and find out more about the book, 365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing, the column I write for Platinum every month, other titles I contribute to, my work, loads of free resources I’ve created over the years.

I really hope you enjoy this episode and if you haven’t already signed up for my free newsletter, it goes out on a Monday, Míle Buíochas Mondays. Míle buíochas means a thousand thank yous in Irish, which I’m very slowly learning and it’s polyvagal-informed journal prompts to help you each week. There’s the gratitude practice element, figuring out more of what brings you joy on a daily basis, what helps you feel in that ventral vagal (I call Purr!) when I use the rescue cats with the Polyvagal Purrs approach. And I also share some of my own gratitude, some of the things that have helped me feel more in ventral vagal that week. Some of those will be resources that might benefit you and I also share news about upcoming events, special offers, things like that.

The journal prompts also include encouragement to look at what is creating sympathetic survival responses (that Hiss! with the Polyvagal Purrs approach) and potentially the dorsal vagal (Freeze!) It’s really helping you learn to map your own nervous system, get to know yourself and get to support yourself and it’s all free. If you haven’t already you can sign up at selfcarecoaching.net and if you have any questions again let me know either in the comments or at selfcarecoaching.net

I hope you enjoy this episode. I’m not normally someone who re-records things, my style is quite natural and unpolished and sometimes haphazard, but this is possibly the latest, since I...

Am delighted to be sharing this interview with the fantabulous Dr Emma Bede. We met online when we were both presenting at Online Events’ Living and Working with Neurodivergence Conference last year and she is SUCH a joy.

SIGN UP FOR THE FREE NEWSLETTER AND GET MORE INFORMATION HERE

Here are some of my favourite quotes from our conversation:

“These are the structures I need to have in place. I think as someone with ADHD, I think if I think of that as like, ‘Come on, you’ve got to do this every day for the rest of your life,’ I just get angry.” ~ Dr Emma Bede

“I’m not very good at forming habits. Things don’t become autopilot except for the really unhelpful things. I played Candy Crush once and I’m going to play it every day for the rest of my life. But for the helpful things, I’m never on autopilot, you know, I always need the reminders, the prompts, the visual cues, the apps, the habit trackers. But I’ve been gradually adding more and more things.” ~ Dr Emma Bede

“I can’t do all of those things every day, but they go in waves and I’m getting better over time at noticing, oh, I’ve skipped a few days of this actually. And I quite kind of miss it and I want to come back to it. I want to feel how I feel when I do that thing and that might mean that I give up on something else a little bit.” ~ Dr Emma Bede

“I’m saying to other people, ‘Well, that’s OK. That’s how your body works. That’s how your brain works. Let’s find a way to go with that. Let’s find a way to go with the rhythm of that.’ And then to walk out of the room and swear at myself for doing the exact same thing? You can only sustain that for so long.” ~ Dr Emma Bede

“If you’re holding a screwdriver in your hand and everyone else is holding a spanner, you can sit there for years trying to use it as a spanner and it’s not going to work. But then you go, ‘Do you know what? This is a screwdriver. I cannot do the things that those people can do with their spanners, but screwdrivers can do amazing stuff. I’m going to go do some of those things!’” ~ Dr Emma Bede

JOURNAL PROMPTS

As you watch or listen to our interview, ask yourself:

Let me know in the comments or by email – eve@selfcarecoaching.net

le grá (with love),

Eve

CHAPTERS

0:00–1:54 Self-care without punishment: the paradox of acceptance and change

1:54–5:13 Welcome and introductions: Dr Emma Bede

5:13–13:02 Ideal vs actual self-care: ACT, gentleness, and finding a rhythm that works with ADHD/autism

13:02–20:06 Self-acceptance, perfectionism, and “acceptance permits change” (including the screwdriver metaphor and RSD moment)

20:06–28:21 Support systems and boundaries: co-regulation, humour, cats and spotting capacity before meltdown

28:21–33:06 Healing your Younger Self: reassurance, being more of you, and not being a “tribute band”

33:06–35:35 Where to find Emma, book mention and closing notes

LINKS

Emma Bede’s website:

https://www.willowpsychology.co.uk/

https://thefeelbettereverydaypodcast

for all episodes and more information

https://selfcarecoaching.net

for free resources (including Míle Buíochas Mondays), more...