Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home

00:01:42 Pleasing others becomes a transaction or a deal

00:02:44 Mindfulness Meditation for People-Pleasers

00:06:09 1. Sit somewhere comfortably, slow your breathing, and relax.

00:06:16 2. If worries, concerns, and anxious thoughts pop up, say hello to them but set them aside.

00:06:26 3. Focus calmly on your breathing

00:06:37 4. When distracting thoughts pop up again, set them aside again and come back to your breath.

00:09:02 Loving-Kindness Meditation for People-Pleasers

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• Kindness and compassion are wonderful if they are genuine. People-pleasers need to learn to develop the skill of genuine kindness rather than acting out of fear, obligation, or a sense of transaction. Mindfulness and loving-kindness practice are two ways to help rescue genuine compassion from the need to please.

• Mindfulness meditation is about presence and being aware of the present moment without judgment or grasping. Go calm and quiet within, setting aside thoughts as they arrive and accepting what is without trying too hard to achieve any particular end.

• Loving-kindness meditation practices generating warm, accepting, and loving attention and extending it to others as well as to yourself. Visualize kindness flowing to the people you love, then progressively to others, and finally to yourself. Compassion does not mean agreement or forgiveness, only that we can acknowledge that as human beings, we all have worth since we are part of what is.

#Boundary #Compassion #Lovingkindness #LovingKindnessMeditation #Meditation #Mindfulness #MindfulnessMeditation #Peoplepleasers #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #StopPleasingOthers

Many sex tips focus on either specific techniques or exploring kinks to improve your sex life, but that’s not what really matters. Studies have shown eight specific elements of great sex: presence, connection, intimacy, communication, authenticity, bliss, exploration, and vulnerability. This is empowering because it means literally everyone has the ability to be a great lover; it just takes time, energy, and attention.

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Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

#CompleteAcceptance #Connection #Intimacy #Presence #Vulnerability #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home

00:06:44 As Stephen Covey says, seek first to understand, then to be understood.

00:10:38 The Four Types of Empathic Responses

00:16:15 What Do You Do When Things Go Right?

00:28:54 Shift responses versus Support Responses

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• Emotional intelligence is also something we do rather than something we are. Thankfully, it can be learned.

• Empathic listening is total, genuine attention to the other person and the message they are trying to convey. Set aside your own ego and perspective and become genuinely curious about someone else’s world, listening to understand rather than to respond. Be curious and receptive rather than reactive, “listening” to verbal and nonverbal signals.

• To respond empathically, acknowledge their courage, ask questions to clarify their message, convey that you care, and check in with how they’re feeling.

• Offer responses that are both active and constructive, rather than passive and destructive, to create trust and connection. Remember that your response to someone’s positive expressions is a bigger determinant of the relationship quality than how you treat them when they’re unhappy. Show genuine interest in what you’re told and match and reflect people’s emotional experiences rather than invalidating it.

• Practice offering support responses (which maintain the focus on the speaker) instead of shift responses (which shift the focus of the conversation back onto you) if you want to avoid conversational narcissism. Try not to continually center your own emotional experiences or interpret other people’s experiences through the lens of your own. Instead, see conversation as a genuine back and forth and deliberately set aside yourself to learn more about others.

#ActiveConstructive #ActiveDestructive #CharlesDerber #ConstructiveResponding #EmpathicListening #GableGonzagaStrachman #PassiveConstructive #PassiveDestructive #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q.