From the moment the phone rang to a crowded ER stacked with pizza boxes and uniforms, we walk through the shock, the community response, and the hard, slow road that followed. Breanna shares the realities many first responder families face.

We talk about what happens after the headlines fade—months of recovery, returning to duty, and ride-alongs that reopened wounds with a child death call and an armed domestic. When the job no longer fit, retirement arrived sooner than planned. At home, stress rewired their marriage: resentment, overwork, and a sense of living on two separate trains. Breanna names the darkest moment, a medication-triggered spiral into suicidal ideation, and the grace that broke it—a late-night glance at the person who was still her safe place. That moment led her to First Responder Support Network and the WCPR spouse retreat, where a patient chaplain, daily chapel, and peers offered tools that actually translate to home.

You’ll hear simple, durable practices: asking “comfort or solutions,” naming love languages, setting boundaries around triggers, and learning to say what you need instead of hoping your partner reads your mind. We offer practical advice for spouses of first responders, from seeking your own therapy to choosing intensive retreats when weekly sessions aren’t enough. This story is honest about anger and distance, and it’s just as honest about repair, faith rekindled, and a marriage that now feels like a true partnership.

If this resonates, share it with someone who needs proof that healing is possible. Subscribe for more real conversations with first responder families, and leave a review to help others find these resources and stories.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
Check us out on social media!
Youtube: @1042project
Facebook: www.facebook.com/1042project
Instagram: 1042_project

The story starts with a simple truth: substances feel like solutions when your identity is shaky and your heart is hurting. Jake opens up about finding alcohol in middle school, wearing the “party guy” mask to fit in, and living a double life as an athlete whose status hid deeper fractures. When college stripped away the sports identity, the spiral accelerated. A minor but piercing moment—getting fired from a part-time job—triggered a deeper look. AA offered structure, but six months of white-knuckling sobriety proved that behavior change without heart change doesn’t last.

Everything shifted with a hesitant, unpolished prayer. On his bedroom floor, Jake asked for help, and a quiet peace answered. That moment powered 14 years of sobriety sustained by meetings, service, and a budding spirituality. But without ongoing care—prayer, Scripture, community—the roots dried out. Law enforcement trauma, family pain, and isolation pulled him away from God, and fear held him sober until PTSD cornered him into a false choice: disappear or numb. Weed to sleep became drinks to forget, and daily use returned with the same old promises that never deliver.

Then came August 12. Jake describes a sudden return of God’s presence that he didn’t earn and couldn’t explain. Since then, he’s rebuilding guardrails that protect peace: honest prayer, counseling, a pastor’s steady wisdom, and friends who show up to pray rather than pour. We speak candidly about dopamine and ADHD, why numbing is seductive but destructive, and how surrender outperforms self-will. The throughline is hope: you are not your addiction, and recovery grows where truth, community, and faith intersect with action.

If you’re stuck in the loop, you don’t have to run. Stand. Reach out to us and we’ll walk with you—without shame, with real help, and with a reminder that freedom is possible. If this resonated, subscribe, share it with someone who needs hope, and leave a review to help others find the conversation.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
Check us out on social media!
Youtube: @1042project
Facebook: www.facebook.com/1042project
Instagram: 1042_project

What if a first responder never had to weather the storm alone? We kick off season four with a live conversation that looks honestly at burnout, isolation, and the stress of the job.

We share how our EQUIP program now reaches recruits across police, fire, EMS, and dispatch, giving new classes the mental, spiritual, and relational tools we wish we had. We expand equine assisted therapy through partners like Godspeed Equine, and we clarify why “volunteers” and “ambassadors” are different: ambassadors are peers with lived experience who answer the call, sit in the chaos, and guide toward help without judgment or department ties. For families, especially spouses carrying secondary trauma, we outline retreats and resources that rebuild trust and communication.

Then we unveil the Refuge; a 100-acre vision near Des Moines with ponds, trails, cottages, and a gear-filled Morton building. Imagine borrowing a camper, kayaks, or side-by-sides and finding a quiet room or a small group ready to listen. Add a barn for gatherings, an education center for trainings and counseling, and a permanent studio to keep stories flowing. It’s not a brochure; it’s a blueprint for healing: clean water time through fishing, running, worship on your commute, painting outside your comfort zone, or riding a horse that helps your nervous system finally exhale.

If this mission resonates—whether you’re a first responder, a spouse, or someone who wants to help—join us. Subscribe, share this episode with a friend who needs hope, and email Dan@10-42project.org to volunteer, become an ambassador, or support the Refuge. Your voice can multiply the message. Your action can change a life.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
Check us out on social media!
Youtube: @1042project
Facebook: www.facebook.com/1042project
Instagram: 1042_project