Carol Juergensen Sheets and Dr. Rob continue their conversation about healing as a couple. Carol defines the six primary needs of every person, ways to create meaningful connection, and what it means to be brave and do it anyway throughout a couple’s healing journey.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:23] Where do couples start with healing?

[3:27] Transactional sex versus emotional connection.

[4:13] First steps with couples work – what do you need that you aren’t getting?

[6:03] Defining the 6 primary needs of every person.

[9:40] Creating meaningful ways for connection.

[11:56] Helping couples heal starts here.

[14:15] Do you know your own strengths?

[15:05] Be brave and do it anyway.

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Carol Juergensen Sheets

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

● “You need to be seen as a couple that is not in distress.”

● “Create ways that you can look forward to connection.”

● “I want couples to work through their trauma with each other.”

● “You have to do what will make your partner feel safe.”

Carol Juergensen Sheets joins Dr. Rob for an in-depth conversation about what it really takes for both partners to heal after betrayal and trauma. Carol focuses on empathy in recovery, understanding triggers, and the signs that indicate that it is safe for a couple to move toward each other again. She also addresses the importance of support groups in healing and answers the classic question – do women really need other women?

TAKEAWAYS:

[2:56] Carol has been supporting healing in sex addicts couples since 2005.

[5:55] Betrayed spouses aren’t crazy, they’re traumatized.

[7:57] The Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model.

[10:38] The danger of fact checking and hypervigilance after trauma.

[14:10] The sustaining hope of feeling connected to your partner.

[15:25] Empathy broken down into 4 actionable parts.

[20:05] How to desensitize the desire to shut down after being triggered.

[22:52] Am I contributing to this relationship or contaminating it?

[26:33] When is it safe to move toward the coupleship again?

[28:25] Shifting away from if/then interactions toward stability.

[31:11] Healthy detachment leads to healing.

[36:07] Do women really need other women?

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Carol Juergensen Sheets

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

● “I don’t want someone calling me 24/7, I want them to develop a fellowship out there that can also help to guide them.”

● “You can’t just stop negative behaviors, you have to replace them with something good.”

● “You can be in conflict but not withdraw.”

● “Am I contributing to this relationship or contaminating it?”

Dr. Jenn Kennedy and Dr. Rob continue their conversation about finding satisfaction and intimacy after 50. They consider what it means to truly become a better person and partner, to evolve beyond betrayal toward empathy and intimacy. We often think that intimacy equals sex, but Dr. Kennedy challenges that notion and defines what a satisfied, committed relationship can really look like in the later years of life.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:45] The impact of infidelity on a committed sexual relationship.

[7:20] Infidelity in a mature vs. younger couple.

[13:03] Intimacy, not just sex, is the ultimate goal.

[17:40] From discovery to reconnecting sexually, eventually.

[27:07] Moving from ‘I’m sorry to ‘I’m sorry I put you through that’.

[32:40] Reintroducing touch and talking without the expectation of sex.

[38:13] Scheduled sex and other tactics for navigating sexuality in older age.

[43:20] Train your mind to choose your partner.

[44:57] Battling the psychological landmine is not required to resume intimacy.

[46:40] What if we just don’t want to have sex anymore?

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Dr. Jenn Kennedy

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

● “The breakdown in intimacy after infidelity is real.”

● “If the addict doesn’t start to actually change and show some progress, their sex life probably isn’t going to change either.”

● “Wherever you place your focus, growth will occur.”

● “You can have great intimacy and not have sex.”